₦airaland Forum

Love892:
Good day nairalanders. This story is not about me but a friend of mine who is a guy.

There is this guy who I know who is not financially buoyant but instead of him to look for money he keeps sleeping around. I will be brief with this story.

The man in question has 4 children who he doesnt take care of. The first day I saw them, I was at his place he does electrical works for me. He stepped out to buy something. When the kids came, they asked me for money. I didn't know them and they looked so dirty and you know usual Nigerian story, dont give beggars money anyhow. So I told them I had no idea who they were looking for. When he came back, I told him . He denied knowing any child talkless of children coming to his house. We even joked about parents who turn their kids to beggars and all.

The second time I went to look for him to do a job for me, I saw the children again and they still begged me for money. Then I was curious why it's only that particular house they come and ask for money. So I asked then who they were looking for, and they told me their dad. I was indeed confused and had to ask the neighbours around who the kids are. Imagine kids of 3 yrs, 5 years 7 years and 15 years. When he came I told him his kids came and he hissed.

Now anytime I see his kids, I dont tell him because the last time he shouted at me, that he has heard.

Due to the fact i gave them money when i found out they were his kids, they ask me anytime they see me but unfortunately I stopped. I cant help someone who hates his kids. The few times they came when he was around he drove them away. Whenever I am there, he always drives them saying they are dirty.

First question how do I advise him? He always gets angry when I talk about the kids. He says he cant take care of them because he doesnt want to have anything doing with the mother of the kids. Even if he doesnt have atleast try. If it were only one child, I will say it was a mistake. But you gave birth to the second, third and fourth from same woman. It can't be a mistake.


One day I was talking to one of his numerous girlfriends and she told me that a man doesnt need to take care of the kids because they bear his name. Sorry but I hate poverty mentality. She said it's the work of the mother. I pray she has kids for him so he rejects them in Jesus name.

Then lastly I dont get him. He doesnt give any of his girlfriends money but last time I saw 4 of them fighting for him and he drove 3 out of the 4. Later I heard him begging them and now they are back.

If he had money I will understand. He is in his 40s. I hate people that neglect children and now everything about his presence irritates me because I treat women well. Please how do I advice him and what do the girls see in him? He is in his forties , I am 25 dont want him to take it personal. I want him to be serious with his life.


I might create a separate thread to explain his womanising attitude due to ambiguity.

NB: He goes for EVERY church program.

Please mind your business.

When the kids are all grown up and decide to ignore him
.
He will create a thread on nairaland to tell us how his wife has turned all his children against him.

May God keep us alive.

https://www.nairaland.com/5475849/250miles-priscilla-ajoke-ojo-ate/2#83202282
Check that out d last post

I think you're the man in question

Hope the children are actually his? He may not be their father o...

You mentioned that 4 women were fighting each other because of him. He's bedroom styles must be outer of this world and I bet that was why the mother of those kids kept coming back.

MissOffpoint:
Social services? In this Nigeria.

Op even if you want to help through the children's mother, make sure she too is a responsible person.

Not to sound harsh but for the children to be very dirty and begging for money, I don't think she cares about them either.

I have an uncle like this, he didn't take care of his children, luckily for them, their mom is a hard worker and she took full responsibility for their care.

Now he is old and sick nobody to take care of him. He came to our house so my own mother will be the one to take care of him, mtchew for wetin na. We told him no way, it won't happen.

How would you get love when your heart is full of hatred

Must you pay evil with evil?

How many times av u offended God
But He has not withhold good things from you

Just look at ur statement *for wetin na,it won’t happen.no way*

And you expect love to come,when your heart is full of black

Thrash talk

Chubhie:
The wise gods have presented him as your counterpart. Would you outpace him by bringing more children to burden society? What are the odds that you would turn out differently at 40?

I dey hear you say the gods forbid? The wise ones are watching.....

He needs deliveranc

He needs deliverance

Laugh wan kee me for here

ornicus:
You don buy market.

TimFisher2:


How would you get love when your heart is full of hatred

Must you pay evil with evil?

How many times av u offended God
But He has not withhold good things from you

Just look at ur statement *for wetin na,it won’t happen.no way*

And you expect love to come,when your heart is full of black

Is it hatred? Anyway, it doesn't matter to me. He is not my father, he has children, let him go and meet them.

Just mind your business before they give you something to keep you busy. Children ae often at the mercy of their parents and in this case both the mom and dad are unfortunate/cursed human beings. If you are adamant, you can try having a dialogue with the mother, you might end up seeing things from a different angle. Also you can see that women are fighting to be with him even tho he no get zilch, either the blokos na elele or the man is a spiritual something

A broke man can have so many girlfriends in Nigeria?? Either this story has been manufactured to reach front page or this brokeass man has some serious D skillz that these hopeless women keep coming back. I’m leaning towards the version that the OP fabricated this story!

He’s a very stupid man. His eldest should even be learning his trade so that they can both provide for the family in future. Just sponsor one of the kids in a trade and help the mother with a petty trade business if she is interested. I hope those kids are in school? Then wash your hands off them.

The mother probably left because of his flirtatious ways and, he is punishing his whole family for that. Just advice him to use condom for his sake. Because his girlfriends have boyfriends that have other girlfriends who have other boyfriends.

If you live in Lagos you can ask social welfare to pay the mother a visit to advice her of her options. Don’t tell them to mention that you reported the case o. Just do that from afar. Don’t worry those ladies will tidy him.

Csami:
You mentioned that 4 women were fighting each other because of him. He's bedroom styles must be outer of this world and I bet that was why the mother of those kids kept coming back.

Urban legend has it that this mystical broke/angry man invented the helicopter position

FROGMAN101:
Advice him to do what? You lots in Nigeria have it easy. Can decide to answer to no one and be useless. What a useless man.

If he was paying 12% of his gross weekly income on child maintenance, surely he wouldn’t have given birth to what he cant handle.

Just a joke of a country.

Exactly

There are no consequences for foolish behaviour in Nigeria

ReeLoaDead:
Urban legend has it that this mystical broke/angry man invented the helicopter position

Forget. Some guys get skills o and better equipment that they can use to hold a woman. The women will just be acting like they are under a spell. Even giving him money sef.

dominique:
When the kids grow up and wants nothing to the man but showering the mum with gifts instead, Nairaland boys will start wailing that its the mother that turned the children away from the dad. These kids are neither blind not stupid, they're seeing what's happening around them. Our men are getting more irresponsible by the day because no one is holding them accountable for their actions. I heard the case of a woman that went report her irresponsible husband to her in-laws. The MIL told her to work harder and stop waiting on a man to feed her and her kids then went on to preach about how women should self-sufficient etc. He neglects her and the kids and hardly contributes to their upkeep. He's also a blue collar worker like the one in the OP and there are times he makes good money from the jobs he gets, everything is squandered on beer palour and girlfriends. If his own people have absolved him of wrongdoing, who is going to call him to order that he will listen to?

@Op
There's absolutely nothing you can say or do to change such person that older and wiser people haven't done. He's almost 2 decades older than you, you think he'll listen to you? It's only a life changing event like a life-threatening sickness that can change a person like that. It's better you sever ties from him so he doesn't corrupt you with his lifestyle. You can help his kids if you can but it has to be only through their mother (whom I blame for having that many kids for an irresponsible man)

you guys keep bringing division and rancour, why not just talk about the matter at hand and forget talking against other people or men..aren't they irresponsible women?

Your friend abi acquaintance is simply a d1ck head. Even the women that gave birth to those kids for him are all 1diots.

Some of the kids will definitely end up like him. If you want to help, help the kid(s) who appear promising. Don't directly give money to any of the mothers.

Don't get too involved before they rub their poverty and foolishness on you. The spirit of backwardness is highly contagious. That's why rich peeps marry fellow rich peeps and avoid wretched, wicked paupers like a plague.

Nigerians and their unquenchable thirst for unsolicited advice.

dominique:
When the kids grow up and wants nothing to the man but showering the mum with gifts instead, Nairaland boys will start wailing that its the mother that turned the children away from the dad. These kids are neither blind not stupid, they're seeing what's happening around them. Our men are getting more irresponsible by the day because no one is holding them accountable for their actions. I heard the case of a woman that went report her irresponsible husband to her in-laws. The MIL told her to work harder and stop waiting on a man to feed her and her kids then went on to preach about how women should self-sufficient etc. He neglects her and the kids and hardly contributes to their upkeep. He's also a blue collar worker like the one in the OP and there are times he makes good money from the jobs he gets, everything is squandered on beer palour and girlfriends. If his own people have absolved him of wrongdoing, who is going to call him to order that he will listen to?

@Op
There's absolutely nothing you can say or do to change such person that older and wiser people haven't done. He's almost 2 decades older than you, you think he'll listen to you? It's only a life changing event like a life-threatening sickness that can change a person like that. It's better you sever ties from him so he doesn't corrupt you with his lifestyle. You can help his kids if you can but it has to be only through their mother (whom I blame for having that many kids for an irresponsible man)

The mother in law was very RIGHT! Women have far more responsibility when it comes to opening legs and getting pregnant. The stupid woman who had 4 kids for the slowpoke should go and get herself a JOB!

TimFisher2:


How would you get love when your heart is full of hatred

Must you pay evil with evil?

How many times av u offended God
But He has not withhold good things from you

Just look at ur statement *for wetin na,it won’t happen.no way*

And you expect love to come,when your heart is full of black

Actions hav consequences
The old man has to pay for his actions

What you sow is what you reap
The bible said that

what is all this for fhuxk sake.
some men can't get tired of sex.
why can't the girls go look for jobs too
just spreading legs like butter.

Nothing you can do about it... We should stop assuming we can change people.. People change on their own.... When they learn from their mistakes....

It's not ordinary, he needs deliverance, his concubines are the ones controlling him, I don't know what he's looking for in a woman after having four children.

He has been cursed, when a man has failed his responsibility on his children. He blamed it on " he has nothing to do with their mother ". No amount of light you give to a blind man, that will make him see the road. His inner eyes has been blocked so that he can suffer

Tell him to stop

ReeLoaDead:
A broke man can have so many girlfriends in Nigeria?? Either this story has been manufactured to reach front page or this brokeass man has some serious D skillz that these hopeless women keep coming back. I’m leaning towards the version that the OP fabricated this story!

u saw where I asked what girls see in him. I still dont understand. The day 4 of them were fighting I was pissed off. But thank u. I have never had the opportunity to observe poor ppl till recently so I will never get.

LilMissFavvy:
I am just trying to understand how a man of such character has several ladies flocking around him, I am very sure they are irresponsible ladies of easy virtue. Help the kids as much as you can, as for advising the man, it's gonna be a waste of time, ignore him.

/
A lot of women find irresponsible and deadbeat men attractive. Talk to most divorcees. They will tell you that their ex-husbands are useless. Who chose those men? When reality of life sets in, they play victims. I refuse to believe that he became irresponsible after his fourth kid. Yet the wife kept opening her legs for him.
Don't be shocked that one or few of his girlfriends will end up getting pregnant too even though they know that he is a loser. Women are "special" breed.
/

You can't fix him, but you can use your network and knowledge to help the mother find a better way to provide for them. Help the mother get better or more work, and help her find a sitter.

dominique:
When the kids grow up and wants nothing to the man but showering the mum with gifts instead, Nairaland boys will start wailing that its the mother that turned the children away from the dad...

@Op
There's absolutely nothing you can say or do to change such person that older and wiser people haven't done. He's almost 2 decades older than you, you think he'll listen to you? It's only a life changing event like a life-threatening sickness that can change a person like that. It's better you sever ties from him so he doesn't corrupt you with his lifestyle. You can help his kids if you can but it has to be only through their mother (whom I blame for having that many kids for an irresponsible man)

Well said Ms. Dominique