midehi2:

Since he don't want family member, he should forget pride price na with that according to esanland she's not married yet

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According to the law of the earth, a woman is not married, without her supposed husband paying the bride price.

ABCthings:
stop, scaring the guy na..

I am just finding courage to laugh, i just lost my dad yesterday, everyone still grieving, have been playing games, other things to stop thinking about my dad, i want to rest my swollen eyes, can i even stop

midehi2:

Forget ke, you guys should stop deceiving the op, when time comes, FORGET will set in

What will happened? I know uromi well well . not a damn thing would happen especially if she marries a yoruba husband.

Yoruba's brain, actions and culture supersede that of d Esan people. The elders in uromi only wants traditional gifts from these christian couples.

Kundagarten:
As an Esan man I must advice you TEMPORARILY sue for peace at this time. Family is everything in our culture in Esan. I would advise for a successful wedding you need to make a temporary truce. The war or enmity can continue after the marriage ceremony but sadly family in Esan land are needed most in times of marriage and BURIAL.

Op, follow this advice

midehi2:



I am just finding courage to laugh, i just lost my dad yesterday, everyone still grieving, have been playing games, other things to stop thinking about my dad, i want to rest my swollen eyes, can i even stop

Sorry sister, may God comfort you

ABCthings:
stop, scaring the guy na..

He's not scaring people but saying the truth. He should do the needful. Even the Bible is specific about dowry(bride price) and consent of both parents/families to a union.

Kundagarten:

It is called traditional wedding for a reason.
There's no two ways about it. It's either the Esan way or no marriage. If they can't comply with tradition, perhaps they should just conduct Christian wedding in Lagos and forget traditional wedding. I however sympathise with the @op.

Gbams.

Christian wedding sikena

funmijoyb:

I gave you a like but you aren't correct. They have no money to waste on family clan that did not support them. They can do it anyway. Forget about Esan people.They haven't broken d legal law

If you deduce what op is saying you would see that he's trying to replicate the traditional system of the Uromi Pple without involving the clan. which to the best of my knowledge is a taboo and a suicide mission
the Uromi Pple are quite distinct in terms of their culture in that the many layers of social class always have a role to play in any marriage or burial gathering such that he can't escape if he tries to do anything traditional.
it's extremely stressful for us with close family ties not to talk of people who absconded 4rm their own family and wish it to remain so

Nobody cares about tradition anymore. The world is getting modernized. Hausas now do weddings like whites so southerners like the Esan won’t mind you running things your way.

Slimmy0:


You are the blind one here. I said he shouldn't give her out according to Essan traditional rites if her family membrrs are not involved. If you must give her out do it the church way or court way or even yoruba way. But not Essan way.

there's a funny thing about traditions.

It doesn't matter if you like give her out the Congolese way, long as she's Esan she has to be given out their way because she belongs there. It's the same everywhere, unless bad people no remember you. Some don't even need bad people, the traditional issues would kick off almost immediately.

Don't advise people to take a route you know you won't take, don't use someone as a human Guinea pig just because he's seeking for advice.

He should go to an Esan/Uromi person he knows who is older and properly table his issues before them, they're in a better position to address this not some dumb Nairalanders that think everybody's tradition is a topic they must have a say in.

good luck to him, his in-law and his sister.

midehi2:



I am just finding courage to laugh, i just lost my dad yesterday, everyone still grieving, have been playing games, other things to stop thinking about my dad, i want to rest my swollen eyes, can i even stop

A comfort for your lost.
Its well

Mrpsly247:

If you deduce what op is saying you would see that he's trying to replicate the traditional system of the Uromi Pple without involving the clan. which to the best of my knowledge is a taboo and a suicide mission
the Uromi Pple are quite distinct in terms of their culture in that the many layers of social class always have a role to play in any marriage or burial gathering such that he can't escape if he tries to do anything traditional.
it's extremely stressful for us with close family ties not to talk of people who absconded 4rm their own family and wish it to remain so

Thanks for making it simple for me to comprehend.

I will enjoin op to read this

perryy:


The woman is yet to be fully recovered. I wasted over 600k in six different hospitals without knowing what was wrong with her. The illness started exactly on the 18th if October last year and we only got to know what was wrong January 24th this year. No one dares Esan tradition and go Scot free. Even the prophetess that revealed what happened to us candidly told us she has no solution . The only solution was taking her, almost dead to my village. Even as an Esan man, i feared what I saw. I never knew some spirit were monitoring my so called wife. Despite her juju and spiritual powers , she succumbed to Esan tradition. But I will never marry another Yoruba again in my life.

just go and perform some traditional rite.. otherwise,u or ur kids could be affected.

there is a reason why mercy Johnson isn't acting romantic movies anymore...thats because she is married to an esan man.


if a man woo or toast the wife of an esan man,she is supposed to let her husband know

my mother lost his cousin some years back...the man and his son had a quarrel and his son told his dad that he isn't his father and also hauled insults at him.fews weeks after,he had an accident with no injuries.doctors did scan on him and nothing was wrong,yet he was sick..few days after he died.not up to a month after his demise,his son became sick..his mother later confessed how his son and his father had a brawl.


just last year,my mother lost his elder sister.she slept and never woke up.we all thought she died as a result of HBP....few months after her burial,a man told her son how his mother went to eat at a party in his ex-husband's home( which is forbidden)


another dangerous one is when a woman insults her husband or draw his peni.s during a fight... consequently,they could lose their kids

no matter how powerful u are ,even if u are a pastor..esan tradition doesn't respect anybody.. sometimes,I keep wondering the enforcers of this traditional laws

Kundagarten:

Obhia ba where is that forum? Is it a Facebook forum like Esan mega forum?

oh yes.uromi voice.I just want us to help the guy.Lots of thing happen if you don't follow some tradition.We are still in the pain and problem of my dad not doing is own dad final burial.After doing the 7 days own o.

henryobinna:
there's a funny thing about traditions.

It doesn't matter if you like give her out the Congolese way, long as she's Esan she has to be given out their way because she belongs there. It's the same everywhere, unless bad people no remember you. Some don't even need bad people, the traditional issues would kick off almost immediately.

Don't advise people to take a route you know you won't take, don't use someone as a human Guinea pig just because he's seeking for advice.

He should go to an Esan/Uromi person he knows who is older and properly table his issues before them, they're in a better position to address this not some dumb Nairalanders that think everybody's tradition is a topic they must have a say in.

good luck to him, his in-law and his sister.

You get better head.

wwwihy:
Sorry sister, may God comfort you

Amen, thanks

Kundagarten:

Obhia ba I didn't read your post above before commenting but we seem to be saying the same thing. Family is paramount in Esan culture and tradition.

that's what the millennials don't even know...they think civilization emus everything...most of them have gone 6ft because of ignorance of their tradition.

I am a Benin, it's a taboo to collect and perform the rite yourself. The family must be involved. Sue for peace and let them conduct the rite, or you want to totally leave the family which I think might be impossible cos of blood. Pray before going and see your pastor too. God bless you sir.

midehi2:



I am just finding courage to laugh, i just lost my dad yesterday, everyone still grieving, have been playing games, other things to stop thinking about my dad, i want to rest my swollen eyes, can i even stop

My Condolences

amp01:


What kind of madness is this?
Since when do church or court collect bride price? Esan lady, been given out, via Yoruba way,what madness. Op, don't play oooo

Which kind person be this?

Church is not tradition na, i said they should do the marriage whatever way they choose to but do not do it the Essan way if you re not ready or willing to involve her family members.

Seeking family members approval and forgiveness is the very good.
Nor let Esan people fight you, leave their tradition alone if you want peace or better still look for them amd allow them give out their daughter..

Dear nairalander,
Am from uromi,esan north east.This a taboo in my land for you given out your sister without the concert of your sister family.My friend there are wiches and wizard every where but as a man do the right things.Buy wine to the senior man in the girl family and tell them about your sister marriage,the community will give you marriage list.pls plan your marriage with the girl family thanks and they will tell you what to do to avoid regression.

AssistntBoyfrnd:


Thank you.

Mama is from uromi too but we dont know what village exactly

I can understand that you don't know you paternal relative. But how on earth will also say that you don't know part of Uromi your presumed beloved mum is from? Do you also have problem with them?

AssistntBoyfrnd:


I appreciate ur contribution but meeting the family that never got our back isn't an option. They are not going to reap where they didn't sow.

First, we were very young when our parents died. My dad first, then her dad and then our mum.
Second, we don't know much about family cuz from what we learnt, family were against our mum that she didn't allow their son send them financial assistance.
Third, so called family shaved our mums hair and forced her to drink the the water used to bath her husband corpse in front of us, we were just children and the sight isn't good.

Meeting family isn't an option here, we moved on a very long time ago. I just want someone from around to share how things are done, that's all.

Whatever I will be collecting from the groom, I intend sharing your everyone that has one way or the other contributed to our life.

PS: No family know about about whereabouts for over 15 years now. Likewise we don't know where they stay.

U don't want to get d family who understand d tradition involved, u don't no d traditions as far marriage is concerned & u want ur sister to b married according to Esan tradition? How do u want to achieve that?

ABCthings:
My Condolences

Thanks

henryobinna:
there's a funny thing about traditions.

It doesn't matter if you like give her out the Congolese way, long as she's Esan she has to be given out their way because she belongs there. It's the same everywhere, unless bad people no remember you. Some don't even need bad people, the traditional issues would kick off almost immediately.

Don't advise people to take a route you know you won't take, don't use someone as a human Guinea pig just because he's seeking for advice.

He should go to an Esan/Uromi person he knows who is older and properly table his issues before them, they're in a better position to address this not some dumb Nairalanders that think everybody's tradition is a topic they must have a say in.

good luck to him, his in-law and his sister.

You have a very good point

I get you. I know my tradition. Esan people do not play with tradition. My point is "dont give her out the Uromi's way if he is not willing to involve her uncles". You can do church or another way, whenever they re ready they can go home and do Esan traditional with the right people. The guy is youruba so u cant give her out the Esan way.

AssistntBoyfrnd:


I appreciate ur contribution but meeting the family that never got our back isn't an option. They are not going to reap where they didn't sow.

First, we were very young when our parents died. My dad first, then her dad and then our mum.
Second, we don't know much about family cuz from what we learnt, family were against our mum that she didn't allow their son send them financial assistance.
Third, so called family shaved our mums hair and forced her to drink the the water used to bath her husband corpse in front of us, we were just children and the sight isn't good.

Meeting family isn't an option here, we moved on a very long time ago. I just want someone from around to share how things are done, that's all.

Whatever I will be collecting from the groom, I intend sharing your everyone that has one way or the other contributed to our life.

PS: No family know about about whereabouts for over 15 years now. Likewise we don't know where they stay.

Please what is your surname?

My parents are also from Esan (Uromi and Ewohimi to be precise). Technically, until the community is involved (Elders, Women, Youths, Onogie), that Traditional wedding didn't take place.

But if you decide not to do it at home, some of the items on the list are to be dispersed to representatives of these persons, who will take note and bear record that your sister was indeed married traditionally as required by uromi custom.

It will help your sister in the long run and may even be an opportunity to link up with your some of your more humane family people who may not be as cold as you may think but have no idea that you exist..........................

Getting list for Uromi/Esan land is no big deal, but doing it right and having a legitimate, recorded traditional wedding by traditional record bearers in Esanland is....................

Slimmy0:



You have a very good point

I get you. I know my tradition. Esan people do not play with tradition. My point is "dont give her out the Uromi's way if he is not willing to involve her uncles". You can do church or another way, whenever they re ready they can go home and do Esan traditional with the right people. The guy is youruba so u cant give her out the Esan way.

the truth is no Pastor in his right senses will wed a couple without the consent of parents of bride.

Since other people have stated it doesn't cost much, he should try his best to find out where his sister is from and save all the problems that might resurface tomorrow. He should consider the greater good than the short lived ease he'll feel right now after doing things thr wrong way.

Moreover as a Christian he should learn to forgive, he doesn't necessarily need to be friends with them. Just let go and move on with your life and in perfect peace. No need to be in communication sef.

God help him

funmijoyb:

What will happened? I know uromi well well . not a damn thing would happen especially if she marries a yoruba husband.

Yoruba's brain, actions and culture supersede that of d Esan people. The elders in uromi only wants traditional gifts from these christian couples.

Would have said u don't have sense. but considering that u're probably still in sec school let me ignore ur stupidity

Mrpsly247:

u don't have sense. but considering that u're probably still in sec school let me ignore ur stupidity

Fixed

So esan people are very wicked be that na.

More than half of esan people who commented had one bad experience or the other with their people.

They are still very diabolical.
Believe so much in spiritual stuffs.

Any wonder there is no development in edo state.

Useless traditional believes that does not move the people forward but retrogressive.

From what I gathered, If u are a married woman and commit adultery, u will die.
What about their married men?
Or the said tradition exempt them?

There are so many nonsense like this littered in igboland but the people came together and said enough is enough.
Although few towns are still into things like this but they too will abandon the nonsense.
Any traditional believe that rules out equality and progress is rubbish.