₦airaland Forum

BRATISLAVA:
lol. But people should've read to the last line before reacting

Duggedised12:
this is a sensitive issue ,you cant blame anyone for not reading to the end.

BRATISLAVA:
but you read. Even as it was sensitive. Reacting before the end is the cause of most issues. People bring hurt to themselves by being impatient. When I don't read, I don't comment.

Duggedised12:
still not a good place to be sarcastic tho ,just saying.

Stillthebest:
Just don't meddle in the affair(
The Lady has said that to you indirectly. Try and listen to Ebenezer Obey's song in that regards)

The major reason a man beats a woman is by counter replying during brawls. She perhaps knows that her husband can't manage such and he is highly tempered.

Don't because he beats her and think he is a beast. It takes an extra in a man not to hit a woman that runs mouth. That "extra" might be lacking in him. (he might need a psychologist or a counselor)

The best way to keep your friend/neighbour alive to enjoy the fruit of her labour in that man's house is to; keep silent whenever an issue is leading to arguments since she loves him so much that she can't leave him even with the incessant beatings.. Op, your friend loves his husband very well, but as aforementioned , he can't manage argument as known by the wife.

If the man is cheating, lol, it is just a matter of time, he would soon be back home(hope not with a disease or empty pockets). It won't long. But;

let the woman address the fundamental issues that is causing the current marital imbalance( a wife can turn her husband to whatever she desires of him). She might be expecting the man to change whereas she is the one who needs to change for the better.

As for police follow up, back off ma. If your body no gree u, send a text anonymously to his family.

Your concern only is enough to gain you rewards race whom you serve

No, he won't kill her otherwise watch as she hones back the man she married.

For your child that see the place as a second house because David, I admonish u to abort so he doesn't grow to another David's dad(hope not).



I commend your good writing skills.

Bless u

UnknownQueen:
Computergeek please tell us, how's the case going?

computergeek:
We're planning to contact her family. She's still in the hospital. Thanks Dearie.

CeterisXVII:
GOD BLESS YOU!! May the Good Lord continue to protect and preserve you and all your loved ones. May you always find someone to speak for you, in time of need.

Luckysbab:
I don catch you. So Naptu2 is your crush on this forum.

Slimdada:
Your husband is not a real Gee because real gees don't get involved in another couple's fight no matter what he should withdraw that police case
Because when you get involved in another couple's fight, the couple's will use you to settle their dispute
Get your son another nanny
And see him get another new friends to play with
Come to think of it
What if your son or any of those kids get hurt accidentally when this fighters are exchanging blows and throwing weapon's like flower vast...

Midas01:
Notice how your empathy is towards the actual perpetrator? Notice how you said the man who beat his wife almost to the point of death and left her for dead isn't a beast? Notice how you blamed women (victims) for domestic violence citing that it's their fault for running their mouths?

You even offered psychological help for the man, lol.

I'm here to tell you today that you sir,
are a very stupid, demented goat and will continue to see misery all of your life for supporting evil.

Fashdeejay:
Read this piece last night, had to sleep over it... If you are going to withdraw the case, there is another way to handle it, trust me, it will tame the man for the rest of his life.... here goes...
Look for sodomites, I mean well endowed gay guys.... pay them to rape the man, let them break into their home take turns on raping the man while they are slapping him and recOrding the whole encounter.... I'm talking about nine inch niggaz when the rod never vex.... let them rape him.... Let him feel like a bitch for a long time....
no matter what a woman does, no man has any right to hit a woman, it is a sign of weakness and it is stupid. Only a weak man will ever do that....
my take, he needs to be raped... make him less of a man than he already is... police can't do much.

Duggedised12:
this is a sensitive issue ,you cant blame anyone for not reading to the end.

computergeek:
So I’ve never actually brought a personal issue to this forum, but this one is beyond me and I don’t know the best course of action to take here. I believe that there are people here who may have had a similar experience or might know what best to do. This may be a bit long.

So there’s this neighbor of mine whom I have an after-school agreement with. She’s a stay-at-home mum with two kids (a nursing baby and a four-year-old) while I have one child (also four). I usually leave my office at 4:00pm, so the agreement is, after-school at 12:30pm, I’ll go pick up the kids (they go to the same school) and return to work while she watches my son for me. I get my son his lunch and snacks before he goes there, even though she’s begged me to stop doing that, but I can’t saddle her with feeding a child that’s not hers.

The issue now is, a lot of violent things have happened in that house and as of this week, my son won’t be returning there. But I fear for the woman. Our homes are separated by a wall, but we often hear the arguing and crying sometimes. I knew she was having marital issues but I didn’t know the extent.

About two weeks ago, I went to get my son from the house and I noticed he wasn’t talking as usual. My son is the very boisterous type who likes to bounce as he walks, and he’ll usually try to take the key from my hand so he’ll open the door himself. That day, he wasn’t talking as usual. He seemed scared and shaken up. I knew the woman would sometimes punish the kids by asking them to kneel down when they fought, but she wouldn’t hit them. I asked him what the issue was, if anyone at school or home had been looking for his trouble, the guy said no.
He’s very close to his father (they are best friends), so when my husband came home I asked him to talk to the boy because he couldn’t choke his food down. After about a while, my son opened up. Apparently, he’d witnessed a very violent beating that he was struggling to find the right words to explain. He said that David’s father had been punching his mother in the passage with two hands at a time, and when she’d tried to run, he brought her back and beat her more. He said that he and David had to hide under the table because they were scared of getting hurt. He then said the mother raised a flower vase and hit him on his head, but the man continued beating her and shouting at her.

I didn’t know what to say. My son had witnessed a violent beating and it traumatized him. We soothed the boy and told him to forget about it. I then knew why the woman didn’t come out to hand him over as she usually did when I went to get him. He just came to me by himself.
The next day, I was skeptical about taking my son back there but he said he doesn’t want to stop playing with David and Sandra (the one-year-old baby). After school, I picked the boys up and drove them home. David’s mom came to the door and her face was badly bruised. I had to ask her what was wrong, but she hurriedly said she fell down and then took the kids from me.

On Friday last week, two days ago, the worst happened. It was around 3:00 or 3:30 when the woman called me at work. I picked the phone up and it was my son. He said that David’s mummy was lying on the floor and wasn’t opening her eyes. He said she was still moving but she couldn’t open her eyes. That blood was coming out her nose and mouth and their daddy had driven away. My heart literally flew out of my chest.

I called my husband as I was driving home and told him to meet us at the hospital. Long story cut short, she was badly battered and torn apart, almost about to give up life. I took her and all the kids to the hospital. While they were cleaning her wounds and hooking her up to the IV, I sorted out the bills. My husband tried to reach out to hers but he was rejecting the calls, so he went to make a statement at the area police command. They told us to contact them once she wakes up to give her statement. The police doesn’t usually like to dabble into marital issues but the woman was disfigured beyond imagination.

Sadly, you won’t believe what she said when she came to after a few hours. She started begging us to not report to anybody and not even call her family. That she’ll refund us the hospital bills and we should just call her friend that lives in New Haven to come and look after her. She was trying to protect the beast that had beaten her and left her for dead. We tried to reason with her because the man would certainly kill her sooner or later. She said he’s her husband and the father of her kids, bla bla bla. She told us that she’d been confronting him about a girl he’d been gallivanting openly with him, and that’s been the cause of all their issues.

She told me to use my number and call her husband because he doesn’t have me as a contact. I called him and told him the wife he tried to kill was in the hospital. He told me that she had better remain there because he’ll kill her if she ever comes near his house again. He hung up on me. She’s still insisting that he doesn’t mean it and she must go back once she’s discharged.

The issue now is, should we withdraw the police report or take the case up? The woman’s life is in danger and she doesn’t seem to understand the seriousness of her situation, writing it off as momentary anger. I don’t know why women choose to remain in these violent situations even when they have children to live for. She’s not even thinking about her one-year-old who has been with me all weekend.

Mature advice is needed here. Pease push to front page. I don’t know if we’ll be overstepping our boundaries by trying to help her.You can take a horse to the river but cant force it to drink water,,you ave try ur best but stil gie deaf ears..,withdraw the case fr9m police,get a nanny for baby..be carefull wit her huband cos he may cme for you ,just face ur family put her in prayers

computergeek:
So I’ve never actually brought a personal issue to this forum, but this one is beyond me and I don’t know the best course of action to take here. I believe that there are people here who may have had a similar experience or might know what best to do. This may be a bit long.

So there’s this neighbor of mine whom I have an after-school agreement with. She’s a stay-at-home mum with two kids (a nursing baby and a four-year-old) while I have one child (also four). I usually leave my office at 4:00pm, so the agreement is, after-school at 12:30pm, I’ll go pick up the kids (they go to the same school) and return to work while she watches my son for me. I get my son his lunch and snacks before he goes there, even though she’s begged me to stop doing that, but I can’t saddle her with feeding a child that’s not hers.

The issue now is, a lot of violent things have happened in that house and as of this week, my son won’t be returning there. But I fear for the woman. Our homes are separated by a wall, but we often hear the arguing and crying sometimes. I knew she was having marital issues but I didn’t know the extent.

About two weeks ago, I went to get my son from the house and I noticed he wasn’t talking as usual. My son is the very boisterous type who likes to bounce as he walks, and he’ll usually try to take the key from my hand so he’ll open the door himself. That day, he wasn’t talking as usual. He seemed scared and shaken up. I knew the woman would sometimes punish the kids by asking them to kneel down when they fought, but she wouldn’t hit them. I asked him what the issue was, if anyone at school or home had been looking for his trouble, the guy said no.
He’s very close to his father (they are best friends), so when my husband came home I asked him to talk to the boy because he couldn’t choke his food down. After about a while, my son opened up. Apparently, he’d witnessed a very violent beating that he was struggling to find the right words to explain. He said that David’s father had been punching his mother in the passage with two hands at a time, and when she’d tried to run, he brought her back and beat her more. He said that he and David had to hide under the table because they were scared of getting hurt. He then said the mother raised a flower vase and hit him on his head, but the man continued beating her and shouting at her.

I didn’t know what to say. My son had witnessed a violent beating and it traumatized him. We soothed the boy and told him to forget about it. I then knew why the woman didn’t come out to hand him over as she usually did when I went to get him. He just came to me by himself.
The next day, I was skeptical about taking my son back there but he said he doesn’t want to stop playing with David and Sandra (the one-year-old baby). After school, I picked the boys up and drove them home. David’s mom came to the door and her face was badly bruised. I had to ask her what was wrong, but she hurriedly said she fell down and then took the kids from me.

On Friday last week, two days ago, the worst happened. It was around 3:00 or 3:30 when the woman called me at work. I picked the phone up and it was my son. He said that David’s mummy was lying on the floor and wasn’t opening her eyes. He said she was still moving but she couldn’t open her eyes. That blood was coming out her nose and mouth and their daddy had driven away. My heart literally flew out of my chest.

I called my husband as I was driving home and told him to meet us at the hospital. Long story cut short, she was badly battered and torn apart, almost about to give up life. I took her and all the kids to the hospital. While they were cleaning her wounds and hooking her up to the IV, I sorted out the bills. My husband tried to reach out to hers but he was rejecting the calls, so he went to make a statement at the area police command. They told us to contact them once she wakes up to give her statement. The police doesn’t usually like to dabble into marital issues but the woman was disfigured beyond imagination.

Sadly, you won’t believe what she said when she came to after a few hours. She started begging us to not report to anybody and not even call her family. That she’ll refund us the hospital bills and we should just call her friend that lives in New Haven to come and look after her. She was trying to protect the beast that had beaten her and left her for dead. We tried to reason with her because the man would certainly kill her sooner or later. She said he’s her husband and the father of her kids, bla bla bla. She told us that she’d been confronting him about a girl he’d been gallivanting openly with him, and that’s been the cause of all their issues.

She told me to use my number and call her husband because he doesn’t have me as a contact. I called him and told him the wife he tried to kill was in the hospital. He told me that she had better remain there because he’ll kill her if she ever comes near his house again. He hung up on me. She’s still insisting that he doesn’t mean it and she must go back once she’s discharged.

The issue now is, should we withdraw the police report or take the case up? The woman’s life is in danger and she doesn’t seem to understand the seriousness of her situation, writing it off as momentary anger. I don’t know why women choose to remain in these violent situations even when they have children to live for. She’s not even thinking about her one-year-old who has been with me all weekend.

Mature advice is needed here. Pease push to front page. I don’t know if we’ll be overstepping our boundaries by trying to help her.You can take a horse to the river but cant force it to drink water,,you ave try ur best but stil give deaf ears..,withdraw the case fr9m police,get a nanny for baby..be carefull wit her huband cos he may cme for you ,just face ur family put her in prayers

Ishilove:
That one is general knowledge na. Every old user here knows I and Naptu2 are a couple. 8years now

computergeek:
So I’ve never actually brought a personal issue to this forum, but this one is beyond me and I don’t know the best course of action to take here. I believe that there are people here who may have had a similar experience or might know what best to do. This may be a bit long.

So there’s this neighbor of mine whom I have an after-school agreement with. She’s a stay-at-home mum with two kids (a nursing baby and a four-year-old) while I have one child (also four). I usually leave my office at 4:00pm, so the agreement is, after-school at 12:30pm, I’ll go pick up the kids (they go to the same school) and return to work while she watches my son for me. I get my son his lunch and snacks before he goes there, even though she’s begged me to stop doing that, but I can’t saddle her with feeding a child that’s not hers.

The issue now is, a lot of violent things have happened in that house and as of this week, my son won’t be returning there. But I fear for the woman. Our homes are separated by a wall, but we often hear the arguing and crying sometimes. I knew she was having marital issues but I didn’t know the extent.

About two weeks ago, I went to get my son from the house and I noticed he wasn’t talking as usual. My son is the very boisterous type who likes to bounce as he walks, and he’ll usually try to take the key from my hand so he’ll open the door himself. That day, he wasn’t talking as usual. He seemed scared and shaken up. I knew the woman would sometimes punish the kids by asking them to kneel down when they fought, but she wouldn’t hit them. I asked him what the issue was, if anyone at school or home had been looking for his trouble, the guy said no.
He’s very close to his father (they are best friends), so when my husband came home I asked him to talk to the boy because he couldn’t choke his food down. After about a while, my son opened up. Apparently, he’d witnessed a very violent beating that he was struggling to find the right words to explain. He said that David’s father had been punching his mother in the passage with two hands at a time, and when she’d tried to run, he brought her back and beat her more. He said that he and David had to hide under the table because they were scared of getting hurt. He then said the mother raised a flower vase and hit him on his head, but the man continued beating her and shouting at her.

I didn’t know what to say. My son had witnessed a violent beating and it traumatized him. We soothed the boy and told him to forget about it. I then knew why the woman didn’t come out to hand him over as she usually did when I went to get him. He just came to me by himself.
The next day, I was skeptical about taking my son back there but he said he doesn’t want to stop playing with David and Sandra (the one-year-old baby). After school, I picked the boys up and drove them home. David’s mom came to the door and her face was badly bruised. I had to ask her what was wrong, but she hurriedly said she fell down and then took the kids from me.

On Friday last week, two days ago, the worst happened. It was around 3:00 or 3:30 when the woman called me at work. I picked the phone up and it was my son. He said that David’s mummy was lying on the floor and wasn’t opening her eyes. He said she was still moving but she couldn’t open her eyes. That blood was coming out her nose and mouth and their daddy had driven away. My heart literally flew out of my chest.

I called my husband as I was driving home and told him to meet us at the hospital. Long story cut short, she was badly battered and torn apart, almost about to give up life. I took her and all the kids to the hospital. While they were cleaning her wounds and hooking her up to the IV, I sorted out the bills. My husband tried to reach out to hers but he was rejecting the calls, so he went to make a statement at the area police command. They told us to contact them once she wakes up to give her statement. The police doesn’t usually like to dabble into marital issues but the woman was disfigured beyond imagination.

Sadly, you won’t believe what she said when she came to after a few hours. She started begging us to not report to anybody and not even call her family. That she’ll refund us the hospital bills and we should just call her friend that lives in New Haven to come and look after her. She was trying to protect the beast that had beaten her and left her for dead. We tried to reason with her because the man would certainly kill her sooner or later. She said he’s her husband and the father of her kids, bla bla bla. She told us that she’d been confronting him about a girl he’d been gallivanting openly with him, and that’s been the cause of all their issues.

She told me to use my number and call her husband because he doesn’t have me as a contact. I called him and told him the wife he tried to kill was in the hospital. He told me that she had better remain there because he’ll kill her if she ever comes near his house again. He hung up on me. She’s still insisting that he doesn’t mean it and she must go back once she’s discharged.

The issue now is, should we withdraw the police report or take the case up? The woman’s life is in danger and she doesn’t seem to understand the seriousness of her situation, writing it off as momentary anger. I don’t know why women choose to remain in these violent situations even when they have children to live for. She’s not even thinking about her one-year-old who has been with me all weekend.

Mature advice is needed here. Pease push to front page. I don’t know if we’ll be overstepping our boundaries by trying to help her.

Luckysbab:
Abasi ayaya eh

I should write a sequel to Iyawo Nylon Bag, with the title - Iyawo Baba Arugbo

Blinkers:
Do you have a functional brain at all?

I honestly hope that you won't procreate, or you'll finally contribute more in stupidity to the ones Nigeria already has in abundance.

BLEMOSEDU:
What's is now the difference between you and the man?
You both live and encourage violence.

Ishilove:
Ha, Baba Arugbo ke??

Daz wrong o. Oga Naptu2 na 50 horse power. If you no know...

It has been 8 years of pure bliss and two naptlings

Excuzeme:
It takes a very mature mind who has seen a lot in the real world, to utter words like these!
I see that you have recieved a lot of flak for this your post, dont be bothered, "what a child sees climbed on top of a tree, is what an adults sees standing on his two legs".

When it comes to marital dispute, as one can see on this and many other similar threads, most ignorant and inexperienced people are just rushing to apportion blame (some with their stupid agendas), rush to criminalise one of the parties and end-up breaking up an othewise "salvageable" marriage.
They fail to address the UNDERLYING ISSUE causing the brawls in a marriage.
You hear childish statements like : No matter what, the man should have walked away or you should NEVER raise your hands against your wife, e.t.c

But they forget that at times, it is your wife that first raises her hands against her husband.
They forget that "walking away" is easier said than done, when one party is deeply hurt by the other
They forget that so many women have killed and are still killing their husbands, while acting and claiming to be a victim of violence!
They forget the adage of our Parents who said "When the Sea is rough, dont Paddle your Canoe roughly at the same time" (literal translation).
They forget that "Two cannot live together (in Peace) unless they agree"
They forget that in any relationship, one person must play the SHEEP, when the other person is playing the GOAT.
They forget that Men are even more hurt by the vitrolic words that their wife hurl at them, than the follow-up beating they give her.

Even the Bible admonishes us that "Harsh words draws out anger (which leads to physical violence), while soothing words quell anger".
The greatest advice l have for any woman, is to be quick to say SORRY, when your husband is annoyed or building-up anger.....then when his mood is calm, raise the issue again, in a loving, respectful and non-judgemental manner.
You will be surprised that what you failed to achieve with arrogance and insults, you have achieved so easily with wisdom.

Wise women know how to manage their Husband and their Home, so much that People will say "She has bewitched him"! Men are like Kids, powerful and stubborn kids, you need good temperament, respect and loving-wisdom to manage them but if you can, you will realise they will do whatever beeding you ask them to do.
But the Foolish woman is very good at scattering her home.....and that of others and she is quick to blame it on another woman or say the man is a wife-beater.

Respects.

Fallenhunter:
Because that's what Nigeria needs more of, gangsters!

Michellekabod2:
Don't blame her,blame the society that will sham her if she leaves him or report him .Women stay in horrible marriages because they will be shamed by the society,the society has bashed divorced mother's for not being able to keep their marriage...they stigmatise divorcees...

My mum used to advice me,"if you get married no matter what your husband do,don't leave him , because the day you step out of the house you will be replaced by another woman and the world will blame you for not being able to keep a marriage" and i replied "f.uck the world!"

Try contact her family members,let them be the one to report to the police so she doesn't blame you for breaking her marriage. If you can't get across to them or they share the same views with her, you can take it up anonymously without her awareness

Cc: magnoliaa, Blackivy, budaatum, fuministicqueen, liberalchick,ryan03

Ryan03:
my dear, not until women decide to overlook and ignore the chains society has put on them, its going to remain that way. Its time women have to ignore what society have to say about their decision but instead do what makes them happy