₦airaland Forum

Pascopele:
5) the need to work successfully-- since the male's personal identity is directly tied to the occupation he chooses for himself.


I was enlightened by a very astute and honest male friend who told me during an internet chat one evening that all men measure themselves through the eyes, smiles, and words of the women they know and/or love. He said, "We are what you believe us to be. Men are made by women."

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lilbest4:
for humanity to survive in a naturally hostile earth, every society needed to be ready to sacrifice the lives of its men to protect and provide for
women and children. There is necessarily no reason for a man to want to do that so men were bribed and deceived with things like statue, glory, heroes(by dying in a war), status and bravery. Men started measuring their worth with these bribes which served as a source of self esteem derived from making yourself disposable and believing it's for the good of humanity. Without the male ego we'll all still be living in jungles

2FlowZ:
cut it out cutie... don't loose your cool!

LillyVal:
The male ego is driven by recognition, attention, and action. Men are assumed to be more active beings who do important things (such as political leaders, soldiers, scientists, etc.) and who are deserving of attention by others. In this vision of the male ego, men are driven by their physical strength, sex drive, and evolutionary biology as competitors for female attention to be competitive, to strive for greatness and power, and to avoid showing any emotion and weakness. For example, in most Nigeria communities, the male gender role is typically understood and described in active as opposed to passive terms. Men are courageous, strong, competitive, independent, and stable (in contrast, women are passive, emotional, weak, and more socially-oriented). To give another example, men in many communities in Nigeria are expected to avoid showing emotion. Remember the old saying "boys don't cry?" Instead, men are supposed to be macho and strong in the face of personal challenges, such as loss, grief, and sadness

GenBuhari:
Ego is ego, which I think could also be described as personal pride or sense of self-worth or self-esteem both genders have it, though it is sometime anchored on different values, needs, wants and competitiveness.
E.g. whilst men may have their egos anchored on things like physical strength ability to lead, impress women and protect and provide; women's ego are more to do with their beauty , ability to get male attention, and get a successful husband that is a good provider and protector.
The male ego is generally more blatant perhaps due to the more aggressive nature of males and females ego is generally more subtle.
It is women that appear to be the custodians of the concept of male ego .
Women coined the phrase " the male ego" and it is women that interpret and attribute the various characteristics to it e.g. fragile etc.
How many times have seen women use men's instinctive need to impress them to try and influence (at least beta)5 male behaviour or conduct with statements like: " A real man helps with house chores" etc

goat22:
A man must eat beans and pounded yam every Thursday and this enlightens his ego. Ensure that men eat beans mama okiafor. Beans is good for mens ego but hot beans with garden egg and amala with gbegiri.

GenBuhari:
Ego is ego, which I think could also be described as personal pride or sense of self-worth or self-esteem both genders have it, though it is sometime anchored on different values, needs, wants and competitiveness.
E.g. whilst men may have their egos anchored on things like physical strength ability to lead, impress women and protect and provide; women's ego are more to do with their beauty , ability to get male attention, and get a successful husband that is a good provider and protector.
The male ego is generally more blatant perhaps due to the more aggressive nature of males and females ego is generally more subtle.
It is women that appear to be the custodians of the concept of male ego .
Women coined the phrase " the male ego" and it is women that interpret and attribute the various characteristics to it e.g. fragile etc.
How many times have seen women use men's instinctive need to impress them to try and influence male behaviour or conduct with statements like: " A real man helps with house chores" etc

Magnoliaa:
Yeah... I guess this is due to the fact that theirs is noticed more. Because of their aggressive nature, like you've said. And because a lot of advice have been given to women, to 'cage' them. To be things because of men and accept anything from them. I listed all that in the OP.

You really think it's women who attribute various characteristics/definitions to it?

chigoizie7:
When a man entrusts his life in the hand of another man, say bodyguards or something like that. And the those he entrusts his life in still obey him and respect him. Please what is it called? Loyalty, but how did he get such loyalty.?

The level of your ego is partly determined by how others treat you.

GenBuhari:
Yes males never or rarely use the term " male ego", I guess they may refer to "ego" understandably women are naturally in a position notice how the more prominent male ego manifests itself in their relationships and interactions with males.

Because women coined the phrase male ego, it stands to reason that they would also have assigned and defined it attributes or characteristics.
Consequently I think it must then follow that all the advice surrounding male ego must be advice from women to other women.

I feel the male ego term was originally intended to be a sort of feminist swipe at men as there is little that is positive in the attribute which as you say is used to "cage " women.

Men would not say their ego is fragile even if it is.

So my view is that you should ignore those advice that appears to cage female behaviour unless you believe it is valid.

Amatarasha:
Thats the ill ego she talks , Go grab some lives

Magnoliaa:
"Never hurt a man's ego."

"The male ego is the most fragile thing ... ."

"Never belittle a man, insult him, or make him feel less of a man . . ."

"Be submissive, not seek to be domineering and flaunting your achievements, wealth . . . ."

"Never raise your voice/hand back at/on him."

" 'Cover him up, and don't expose his weaknesses, to men, people.' "

"Learn to understand his mood, what ticks him off and try to avoid doing them."

"Men are like babies, wants to be pampered and learning to tend to their ego, nurturing it is key to unlocking their best selves."

"A man wants to be in the lead, be first, provide, and do all for a woman."

"Something in him seeks to do, to be needed, and not be led . . ."

So many things has been said it, described and told to women to heed, take note of. An undefined, complex, and obscure thing that everybody refers to and pass comment about.

What is it exactly?

Is it (something) in a man? And how does it affect his behavior, in every area of his life? Or It's just a general thing, common to males and females, but the male's has been misrepresented? Changed into what it is not?

Is it psychological, an entirely different 'make' of ego compared to a female's, or it is exclusive to men alone?

If there's something like that, could it be because of culture (societal expectations and gender roles), resulting in a particular mentality: one of taking up responsibilities, desiring to lead, being compelled to sacrifice, etc, for a woman?

What do you think of it?
What do you understand about it?
What's the male ego?

Magnoliaa:
LOL. That's the point. I didn't make any conclusion. I was not stating things I know to be true, I wasn't 'adopting' any views. Just questions that I was hoping will be discussed.

So, like, really you don't have anything to say, even using my questions to form your thoughts?