₦airaland Forum

Kobicove:
It will do you a lot of good to listen to advise from your parents in this situation

Inter tribal marriages usually come with a lot of challenges

Not as much as interracial marriages but you guys seem to be fine with that.

khia:
Not as much as interracial marriages but you guys seem to be fine with that.

Hope the wildfires are not near you?

BatleFox:
Hope the wildfires are not near you?

No they are not, I'm in the desert, Palm Springs, luckily they didn't spread my way. They have spreaded to Northern California now, where my brother lives.

I spoke to him yesterday and he said the fires were in wine country about 2 hours away from him but the electric company has cut off the power for 3 days now for fear of an electrical fire.

Thanks for your concern.

Palace32:
Hello fellow Nairalanders.

I have a very strong issue bothering my mind, there is this lady I'm in love with, the love is very mutual as she is also madly in love with me too. She's everything I want in a woman and I am planning on getting married and settling down with her next year.

The issue is that, I am Igbo but my girlfriend Yoruba. Personally, I have no issue with that, she doesn't too but my parent does. This past week, mum overheard me speaking to her on the phone in Yoruba language and with the way I sounded over the phone, she knew we were dating. Immediately I ended the call with my girlfriend, my mum asked if that was my gf I just finished speaking yoruba to on the phone, I nodded in affirmation, mum said it's over her dead body will I marry a Yoruba girl, she was warning me when my Dad entered, my Dad being a Pastor, I thought he would reason with me and see reason from my perspective, but instead, he supported my mother.

They both gave me reasons why the idea of me marrying my Yoruba gf is dead on arrival. One of it is how my gf will cope anytime we travel to our home town and she's invited to the Igbo women meetings, will she be hired an interpreter to interprete bits by bits whatsoever they are saying? Or will she forced them to speak English instead of the official igbo language being spoken at meeting?

Another reason they both gave me is that, no one in our lineage has married to anyone who is not igbo, both from my Paternal or Maternal side and I won't be the first. My Dad once said that if eventually I marry my Yoruba gf, I will forget my roots, I won't be coming home regularly and with time, she will force me not to come home at all.. and so on and so forth.

It's so glaring that my parent are TRIBALISTIC. There is no two ways about it.

I really love this girl, she's very decent. Her mum is aware we are dating and it seems there won't be any problem or issue from my gf's family side. I really want to marry her as she's my ideal type of woman, however, leaving her can be mentally and emotionally damaging to us.

How do I cope with my tribalistic parent? How do I convince them that my love for her knows no boundaries, tribe or race? Is there anything my parent are seeing that is still blind to me?

I'm in dire need for mature minded advice.

Thanks in anticipation

When it comes to love, there must have to be sacrifices to make and I think this is one of them. I'll advice u follow your heart and be with what brings you joy and happiness for life time. After all it's your life and not ur parent's..Gracias!

Talvgsfh:
When it comes to love, there must have to be sacrifices to make and I think this is one of them. I'll advice u follow your heart and be with what brings you joy and happiness for life time. After all it's your life and not ur parent's..Gracias!

Thank you so much for your advice. Much appreciated

chigoizie7:
As Africans and most importantly Nigerians and then much more importantly, IGBO’S, one of the reasons why we marry, I mean one of the most important reason is to procreate , that is to have children that will bear our names, takes over from where we stopped and then take care of us when we get older. That said.


We travel also to explore and look for better options for a better life. However, we tend to return home to our roots afterwards and of course with our children and wives too.


You had the opportunity to live in the western part of naija which exposed you to different tribes and most importantly the yorubas.

They are good people , they have lovely women too. But your parents fears are.


Will she be comfortable to always come down to the east with you and the kids? I mean, she doesn’t know anyone there, her family and friends and associates are mostly in the Yoruba land.

I will give you an example , I live in South Africa. There are many Nigerian men living here, most of them are so rich and well to do, old enough to get married. But they are not marrying South African women, trust me, these women are sexy, beautiful and well endowed. But one thing with them is, they can’t leave SA. Now we also know that the Nigerian men living in SA are only there to make money and then return home some day. Someone will be asking why these men only date those SA women and don’t marry them. Why would you marry a woman who is never willing to come live with you in Nigeria when you decides to retire ? What is the need of having kids that would never know where their father comes from?

You see, these women have their lives revolving around SA, families, friends, culture, associates . That they are not ready to leave for a new country.

Same thing is applicable to Inter tribal marriages in Nigeria.

How many Igbo men married to Yoruba or Hausa women lives in the east?

How many Yoruba or Hausa women married to IGBO men live in the south east ?

If you can answer these questions, then you will know why IGBO parents are always apprehensive about their wards getting married to other tribes especially when they do not live in the east.




Op tell your girlfriend that both of you are moving to the east to reside permanently and watch her reactions.

These concerns are not enough to deprive someone from marrying who they love. Besides who told you that she won't move to the east with him?

My brother married a Yoruba lady. They lived in Lagos but his job took him to Uyo and she moved there with him even of she didn't know the language. And her "Yoruba" mum visited a couple of times.

Let's not make simple things complicated. Why should the issue of village meeting, traveling to the east, speaking the language get in the way of two people who are probably meant to be together?

Let's not make it

Jersuiyjoe:
The Problem you are facing now isn't much of a big deal,ask me why¿ Because you haven't show em your through colour on deciding what you want and what's best for you about your future plan with your gf. to cut it short, what i am trying to say is;you need to be stubborn. you aren't a kid anymore,they can't decide for you.
i know they might have threaten you if you go ahead with your own plan. why didn't you ask your dad as he's a pastor to quote a passage in the bible where a man must marry his beloved wife from the same tribe as he is.
This is a chance for you to prove to your gf that love can make you do anything by not following your parent's tribalistic advice ,make her feel she was not with the wrong guy all along, prove it to them that you are going to marry her no matter what they say and even if it's for them not to attend your wedding ceremony,let it be. But you will be shock they will be the first person at your wedding ceremony.
(Davido Said to Chioma that if it's for him to be in jail,he would do it)
So Have gotta be a man, stop slacking out and act fast.
dont be scared of talking to your gf on the phone when your parent is around, let them know that you have liberty and nothing will stop ya.
if you loose this opportunity you loose it forever

You are right o. When my MIL proved stubborn because of religious denomination, my husband exploded. She said she would only attend the traditional and go back to her base. My husband told her not to bother coming at all that he would send her the pictures.

ImaIma1:
These concerns are not enough to deprive someone from marrying who they love. Besides who told you that she won't move to the east with him?

My brother married a Yoruba lady. They lived in Lagos but his job took him to Uyo and she moved there with him even of she didn't know the language. And her "Yoruba" mum visited a couple of times.

Let's not make simple things complicated. Why should the issue of village meeting, traveling to the east, speaking the language get in the way of two people who are probably meant to be together?

Let's not make it

That those things are simple to you doesn’t mean they are not complicated for others

chigoizie7:
That those things are simple to you doesn’t mean they are not complicated for others

What makes them complicated?

Palace32:
Hello fellow Nairalanders.

I have a very strong issue bothering my mind, there is this lady I'm in love with, the love is very mutual as she is also madly in love with me too. She's everything I want in a woman and I am planning on getting married and settling down with her next year.

The issue is that, I am Igbo but my girlfriend Yoruba. Personally, I have no issue with that, she doesn't too but my parent does. This past week, mum overheard me speaking to her on the phone in Yoruba language and with the way I sounded over the phone, she knew we were dating. Immediately I ended the call with my girlfriend, my mum asked if that was my gf I just finished speaking yoruba to on the phone, I nodded in affirmation, mum said it's over her dead body will I marry a Yoruba girl, she was warning me when my Dad entered, my Dad being a Pastor, I thought he would reason with me and see reason from my perspective, but instead, he supported my mother.

They both gave me reasons why the idea of me marrying my Yoruba gf is dead on arrival. One of it is how my gf will cope anytime we travel to our home town and she's invited to the Igbo women meetings, will she be hired an interpreter to interprete bits by bits whatsoever they are saying? Or will she forced them to speak English instead of the official igbo language being spoken at meeting?

Another reason they both gave me is that, no one in our lineage has married to anyone who is not igbo, both from my Paternal or Maternal side and I won't be the first. My Dad once said that if eventually I marry my Yoruba gf, I will forget my roots, I won't be coming home regularly and with time, she will force me not to come home at all.. and so on and so forth.

It's so glaring that my parent are TRIBALISTIC. There is no two ways about it.

I really love this girl, she's very decent. Her mum is aware we are dating and it seems there won't be any problem or issue from my gf's family side. I really want to marry her as she's my ideal type of woman, however, leaving her can be mentally and emotionally damaging to us.

How do I cope with my tribalistic parent? How do I convince them that my love for her knows no boundaries, tribe or race? Is there anything my parent are seeing that is still blind to me?

I'm in dire need for mature minded advice.

Thanks in anticipation

pls take it easy before you injure your self

Time will heal you

Just respect your parents in any way you think you can

Their happiness lyes in you and your happiness is their priority

Palace32:
Hello fellow Nairalanders.

I have a very strong issue bothering my mind, there is this lady I'm in love with, the love is very mutual as she is also madly in love with me too. She's everything I want in a woman and I am planning on getting married and settling down with her next year.

The issue is that, I am Igbo but my girlfriend Yoruba. Personally, I have no issue with that, she doesn't too but my parent does. This past week, mum overheard me speaking to her on the phone in Yoruba language and with the way I sounded over the phone, she knew we were dating. Immediately I ended the call with my girlfriend, my mum asked if that was my gf I just finished speaking yoruba to on the phone, I nodded in affirmation, mum said it's over her dead body will I marry a Yoruba girl, she was warning me when my Dad entered, my Dad being a Pastor, I thought he would reason with me and see reason from my perspective, but instead, he supported my mother.

They both gave me reasons why the idea of me marrying my Yoruba gf is dead on arrival. One of it is how my gf will cope anytime we travel to our home town and she's invited to the Igbo women meetings, will she be hired an interpreter to interprete bits by bits whatsoever they are saying? Or will she forced them to speak English instead of the official igbo language being spoken at meeting?

Another reason they both gave me is that, no one in our lineage has married to anyone who is not igbo, both from my Paternal or Maternal side and I won't be the first. My Dad once said that if eventually I marry my Yoruba gf, I will forget my roots, I won't be coming home regularly and with time, she will force me not to come home at all.. and so on and so forth.

It's so glaring that my parent are TRIBALISTIC. There is no two ways about it.

I really love this girl, she's very decent. Her mum is aware we are dating and it seems there won't be any problem or issue from my gf's family side. I really want to marry her as she's my ideal type of woman, however, leaving her can be mentally and emotionally damaging to us.

How do I cope with my tribalistic parent? How do I convince them that my love for her knows no boundaries, tribe or race? Is there anything my parent are seeing that is still blind to me?

I'm in dire need for mature minded advice.

Thanks in anticipation

Dude ...i would not take you seriously

Because ...you are still staying in your parents house and you talk about marriage...no Igbo man does that

Secondly, there are things to consider in marriage and love is that last thing ....trust me

Thirdly, would you as a boy not a man loose your family because of a woman


Oga this is not titanic movie ...better align with your family

All those saying align with family, I reserve my comments. My landlord died today, he's an igbo man married to an igbo woman for over 10 years. His family neglected him after the wife's plea for help from his people but they're here to mourn and plan burial... Dear OP, what's the guarantee that marriage to an igbo woman will give you fulfilment in life?
As for your parents, I've grown to see that African parents go to church to socialize and mark register. The WORD itself, they don't know how to balance with life but will only tell you of bad experiences and never saying the good. If you try to convince them, they'll tell you you know nothing and I begin to wonder the essence of them claiming christianity. I can go on and on and on. I hope you have financial independence incase you choose to follow your heart but regardless all will be well.

Akanoaaa:
This is one of the reasons Nigeria will never develop as a country. Imaging, we can't even marry our fellow Nigerians in peace. If you can't marry someone you love because she is a Yoruba lady, if I can't do my business with the best person I know that capable of the business because he's an Igbo man and I can't help fellow Nigerian who needs help at one particular moment cuz he's an Hausa-fulani Muslim and We keep shouting one Nigeria. Hypocrisy of highest order!! Where is the "one Nigeria"? How do we grow as a nation if we don't love ourselves? I weep for this country.

@op, am very sure your parent would never opposed you if its an American or European lady. Your parent need to understand the word of LOVE as a Christian.

they do my brother. The typical Igbo parents wants you to marry Igbo too. My uncle got married to a white woman & the mum still counts him single even after more than ten years of marriage. The last time the wife gave birth my mum was a kind of being sad that the mum didn't tell her. But she told my mum that it's because he is not yet married even after 3 kids and over 12 yrs she still pressures him to come down to Nigeria & get married

Marley147:
they do my brother. The typical Igbo parents wants you to marry Igbo too. My uncle got married to a white woman & the mum still counts him single even after more than ten years of marriage. The last time the wife gave birth my mum was a kind of being sad that the mum didn't tell her. But she told my mum that it's because he is not yet married even after 3 kids and over 12 yrs she still pressures him to come down to Nigeria & get married

Thats cold!

Sorry to say that your great Aunt is very mean! Jeez!

AmuDimpka:
Dude ...i would not take you seriously

Because ...you are still staying in your parents house and you talk about marriage...no Igbo man does that

Secondly, there are things to consider in marriage and love is that last thing ....trust me

Thirdly, would you as a boy not a man loose your family because of a woman


Oga this is not titanic movie ...better align with your family

Oga don't just assume things, if there are some grey areas that needs to be clarified, just tell me and I will throw more light into it. FYI, I own a house of my own and I am a comfortable man who is dependant on no one.

Palace32:
Oga don't just assume things, if there are some grey areas that needs to be clarified, just tell me and I will throw more light into it. FYI, I own a house of my own and I am a comfortable man who is dependant on no one.

Weather you own a house or a city that is immaterial

The thing is simple, love is that last thing you consider in marriage...when love fades which it would after few years there are things that keep the marriage on


Those things are to be considered 1st and love is last

If you want to hear...hear

If you want to listen ...listen

You are a man so take your decision and stop disturbing us

Marley147:
they do my brother. The typical Igbo parents wants you to marry Igbo too. My uncle got married to a white woman & the mum still counts him single even after more than ten years of marriage. The last time the wife gave birth my mum was a kind of being sad that the mum didn't tell her. But she told my mum that it's because he is not yet married even after 3 kids and over 12 yrs she still pressures him to come down to Nigeria & get married

Are you done....so typical Yoruba don't want their wards to marry in their tribe or that of Hausa


Ana akogheri

Try and discuss the issue with your parents and maybe you get one of your uncles that is understanding to be in the discussion if your parents still insist you may have to wait for your parent to change there mind or you quit the relationship cos one can't tell I have a friend with similar problem but they later got married you don't want to hear the aftermath of the marriage

dottozil:
Still wondering why this thing is common with Igbos, so many promising relationship has been spoilt just because of the difference in tribes. Is it inadequate education or what.

Sufferisticated monkey you are not even half educated as Igbos.His parents say Dem no do Yoruba in-laws na fight?? wetin concern you? Lack of education gbuo gi dia!!

Please read below

Palace32:
Kindly point out where I insulted them Mr?

Oga before you isolate yourself from your families and people because of the illusion LOVE wey go soon clear for your eye eh tell that your woman that you'll be permanently relocating to the East with her ,see her REACTIONS know wether she can sacrifice for you like your planning on doing for her because why I am saying all these things now is that an AVERAGE WOMAN is SELFISH to the core!! You will rush now and cut ties with your family WITHOUT using your head while if reverse was the case there is a HIGH probability that she won't do the same .I no say no marry Yoruba ooo NO! I am saying use your HEAD when it comes to LOVE because it's a tricky illusion make you no go unnecessarily spoil wetin you fit no go repair till you die! FAMILY! Make sure you test her with what I have written above!!

CyberWolf:
Good luck!

That guys story is FAKE! I am suspecting it! He might be another Yoruba Tribalism looking to bash Igbos on romance section! Did you see the way he kept silent on that id**t that called his supposed PARENTS *Stu**d* ?? The other Yoruba Monkey portrayed his parents as *uneducated , illiterate* he kept silent, the other one insulted his supposed Tribe IGBO he kept silent. That nigga might just be a Yoruba tribalist looking to spread usual propaganda against the Igbos!

LadySarah:
Dont call All of us tribalistic because love dey shark you.Be Very careful.If we are most tribalistic what of the Northerners and the yorubas outside Lagos.
Restrict it to your family.

My friend be careful.

That guy might be a Yoruba man with a fake story to smare and give Igbos Tribalism reputation no mind that guy ,I suspected him when one Yoruba Foolish Fool here insulted his parents and tribe ,he just kept silent.

Palace32:
Hello fellow Nairalanders.

I have a very strong issue bothering my mind, there is this lady I'm in love with, the love is very mutual as she is also madly in love with me too. She's everything I want in a woman and I am planning on getting married and settling down with her next year.

The issue is that, I am Igbo but my girlfriend Yoruba. Personally, I have no issue with that, she doesn't too but my parent does. This past week, mum overheard me speaking to her on the phone in Yoruba language and with the way I sounded over the phone, she knew we were dating. Immediately I ended the call with my girlfriend, my mum asked if that was my gf I just finished speaking yoruba to on the phone, I nodded in affirmation, mum said it's over her dead body will I marry a Yoruba girl, she was warning me when my Dad entered, my Dad being a Pastor, I thought he would reason with me and see reason from my perspective, but instead, he supported my mother.

They both gave me reasons why the idea of me marrying my Yoruba gf is dead on arrival. One of it is how my gf will cope anytime we travel to our home town and she's invited to the Igbo women meetings, will she be hired an interpreter to interprete bits by bits whatsoever they are saying? Or will she forced them to speak English instead of the official igbo language being spoken at meeting?

Another reason they both gave me is that, no one in our lineage has married to anyone who is not igbo, both from my Paternal or Maternal side and I won't be the first. My Dad once said that if eventually I marry my Yoruba gf, I will forget my roots, I won't be coming home regularly and with time, she will force me not to come home at all.. and so on and so forth.

It's so glaring that my parent are TRIBALISTIC. There is no two ways about it.

I really love this girl, she's very decent. Her mum is aware we are dating and it seems there won't be any problem or issue from my gf's family side. I really want to marry her as she's my ideal type of woman, however, leaving her can be mentally and emotionally damaging to us.

How do I cope with my tribalistic parent? How do I convince them that my love for her knows no boundaries, tribe or race? Is there anything my parent are seeing that is still blind to me?

I'm in dire need for mature minded advice.

Thanks in anticipation

How old are you? Are you an undergraduate or a graduate? If you are a graduate, do you have a job and do you still live with your parents?

Chukapage:
That guys story is FAKE! I am suspecting it! He might be another Yoruba Tribalism looking to bash Igbos on romance section! Did you see the way he kept silent on that id**t that called his supposed PARENTS *Stu**d* ?? The other Yoruba Monkey portrayed his parents as *uneducated , illiterate* he kept silent, the other one insulted his supposed Tribe IGBO he kept silent. That nigga might just be a Yoruba tribalist looking to spread usual propaganda against the Igbos!

Correct! I pointed those things out but he didn’t say anything. He is one of those Yoruba tribalists, that’s their way.

chigoizie7:
That those things are simple to you doesn’t mean they are not complicated for others

bro how far

CyberWolf:
Correct! I pointed those things out but he didn’t say anything. He is one of those Yoruba tribalists, that’s their way.

lol.. mumu Igbo.. who wants to even marry a flat head selve

OP i will advice you to stick to your tirbe to avoid future problems...
Me personally, I can't do intertribal marriage..
i can't also marry a yam leg and hairy chest Igbo lady

AmuDimpka:
Are you done....so typical Yoruba don't want their wards to marry in their tribe or that of Hausa


Ana akogheri

some of you here are so sick. Replying someone as if you're fighting with the person. Pls if you have something that is bordering you keep it to yourself don't come to nairaland & be talking to people anyhow. Look at how your body is peppering you so senseless rubbish

Chukapage:
Sufferisticated monkey you are not even half educated as Igbos.His parents say Dem no do Yoruba in-laws na fight?? wetin concern you? Lack of education gbuo gi dia!!

Go and learn how to spell the first word you typed it has said alot about you I don't need to say a word anymore