Uchechi20:
I just created a new account for this post, please i need mature advice. My husband has been so broke for years now, he never ever gets money if we have any emergency for my kids sickness, school fees, etc. He likes hallucinating about how he will be rich by getting one juicy political appointment cause he is into politics. Sometimes he hustles to just get food and it ends there(this does not come often), no basic needs like school fees etc. Before you judge me as not being supportive, i am not employed at the moment but i struggle and hustle the little way i can to assist in the house upkeep. I paid school fees, i even gave him a large some to add to our ongoing project but the money unfortunately didn't complete it.

Now our room window net spoit and there is a big bush just around the window. He is not doing anything about fixing the window net as usual, i didn't nag him. I just closed the windows permanently, but i noticed this morning that he opened the windows through out last night, same as the night before. My two children sleep on the same bed. He had to put us at risk like that just for ventilation sake without considering what could creep into our room.

Please i need serious advice on how to handle this, he collected all my savings to add to the project.
NOTE: He leaves the house everyday to come back very late, cause he still serves this political big guys yet there is nothing to show for it.

Nezero:

Thank you, i closed the windows back and he opened it again. He has always been like this, he is so insensitive about the children's health, not like he kept money for any emergency. I just can't close my eyes anymore. I will so call his mum tomorrow to report this



Sorry, please endure and continue to be tactful. You are a great woman.


Every problem has an expiry date. This too shall pass.


You can please close the window back and ask him when he is going to fix the window because of creeping things.



Many great women endured and tolerated their husbands through difficult times, lije Mama HID Awolowo.



God will reward your patience

Acidosis:

He collected all your savings to add to a project (a personal apartment??).

I don't understand why people rush to build apartments. It is absolutely needless when you still struggle to meet your basic needs.

Advise your husband to;

1) Quit daydreaming about a juicy political offer.
2) Sell off the uncompleted project
3) Use the proceeds of the sales for business (this should be your focus and priority).

A house project won't put food on your table. A lot of Nigerians make this mistake. The urge to be called a landlord push many into shanty houses that ordinarily should be left for poultry and pig farming.

There's so much ignorance in the land. Tenancy is not bondage. Stop attending churches where tenants are demonized. There's no glory in being a broke landlord. Remain where you are and divert your money to a productive venture. That's how to grow. Your personal apartment may help you save a little (assuming you pay a lot on rent) but it won't put N1 on your table.


N.B: Please ignore the above if my interpretation of "project" differs.

faithfull18:

But it will atleast take away the burden of rent from their expenditures.

Uchechi20:
I just created a new account for this post, please i need mature advice. My husband has been so broke for years now, he never ever gets money if we have any emergency for my kids sickness, school fees, etc. He likes hallucinating about how he will be rich by getting one juicy political appointment cause he is into politics. Sometimes he hustles to just get food and it ends there(this does not come often), no basic needs like school fees etc. Before you judge me as not being supportive, i am not employed at the moment but i struggle and hustle the little way i can to assist in the house upkeep. I paid school fees, i even gave him a large some to add to our ongoing project but the money unfortunately didn't complete it.

Now our room window net spoit and there is a big bush just around the window. He is not doing anything about fixing the window net as usual, i didn't nag him. I just closed the windows permanently, but i noticed this morning that he opened the windows through out last night, same as the night before. My two children sleep on the same bed. He had to put us at risk like that just for ventilation sake without considering what could creep into our room.

Please i need serious advice on how to handle this, he collected all my savings to add to the project.
NOTE: He leaves the house everyday to come back very late, cause he still serves this political big guys yet there is nothing to show for it.

faithfull18:

But it will atleast take away the burden of rent from their expenditures.

Acidosis:
He collected all your savings to add to a project (a personal apartment??).

I don't understand why people rush to build apartments. It is absolutely needless when you still struggle to meet your basic needs.

Advise your husband to;

1) Quit daydreaming about a juicy political offer. This venture never ends well when you don't have a job/business, trade, skill, etc. After 4 or 8 years of tasting little money as a counselor or special adviser (assuming he gets the offer), the situation will get worse. I've seen too many examples.

2) Sell off the uncompleted project.

3) Use the proceeds of the sales for business (this should be your focus and priority).

A house project won't put food on your table. A lot of Nigerians make this mistake. The urge to be called a landlord push many into shanty houses that ordinarily should be left for poultry and pig farming.

There's so much ignorance in the land. Tenancy is not bondage. Stop attending churches where tenants are demonized. There's no glory in being a broke landlord. Remain where you are and divert your money to a productive venture. That's how to grow. Your personal apartment may help you save a little (assuming you pay a lot on rent) but it won't put N1 on your table.


N.B: Please ignore the above if my interpretation of "project" differs.

1StopRudeness:


Acidosis doesn’t know the meaning of not having the need to think about paying rent, or never having a landlord harassing you or throwing out ur stuff for owing.....husband and wife that doesn’t even have jobs for that matter...it’s hypertension that will kill them whenever rent is almost due..

I don’t quite get the angle acidosis is looking at this from...but there’s no scenario better than not paying any landlord rent for me....it might not be wise to put all savings into the building as the husband did...it’s irrational and reckless...but it’s their home at the end of the day..on the long run it will pay off...

Sanchez01:

So many of your angles are wrong!

Rent accounts for over 50% of the problems in marriage. In a country where the average Joe barely earns 100k monthly, breaking the barrier of rent is like winning a jackpot. And if you think becoming a broke landlord is insane, wait till you get overwhelmed by financial demands in another man's house while your rent due date edge closer.

Most people think venturing into a business automatically translates to steady inflow. What you don't realize is that mishaps are very common with personal businesses and just one would have been a problem in another man's house as you'd need to secure loans or borrow to temporarily stay afloat. Typical business folks who mostly survive this ugly phase often go as far as selling other stuff they own to stay alive in business. It is not the same with people who don't have other money raising properties to fall back to when things get ugly.

My family stopped paying rent in Lagos since 1999 and growing up, there were moments when money would be scarce but the single thought of not worrying about paying rent eased so many things.

Plus while you brazenly suggest they sell off the property, you failed to ask what state it is situated, which should have been your major concern before going further to talk about whether or not the move was wise.

I think we all should learn to put 'just my opinion' after suggesting some things in this section so that we don't end up destroying lives in the name of counseling. Opinions are opinions and some, if not most are somewhat dangerous.

As unwise as you think the move is, I'd advise you invest your last penny in a landed property and conveniently add swag to soaking your Cassava flakes in your own property, after developing it to a reasonable extent.

Acidosis:


It is NOT going to pay off on the short or long run. Not having a job and not being able to pay rent is more than enough reason to avoid spending all resources on a building project. Many of our aged parents made this mistake. A lot of them died poor with nothing. Only the children benefited at the end of the day by selling off the property.

Landlord harassment is not enough to provoke one into building a personal apartment. That anger should make you work harder to pay your rent, not spend what you don't have raising a shanty house.

The desire to raise one's income should supercede the desire to "lower" expenditure/expenses.

How can you even lower expenses by spending so much on a personal house?

Do a quick calculation;

Annual rent = N100k

Personal apartment/land = N2-3m (in a small town)

What's the sense in the above? 3m is rent for 30 years (assumed 0 inflation). Add 30 to your current age and tell me what you have.

That 3m in mutual funds, or a risk-free investment like TBills will yield at least 350k annually with 0 work. From that, you pay your rent easily, and increase your networth in a sporadic manner over a very short timeframe.

Acidosis:


I would rather eat fried rice as a tenant than settle for cassava flakes (as a landlord). Some tenants settle their bills from the proceeds and interests on their investments or savings.

I am aware a lot of Nigerians don't understand this principle. I've lived among people with this mentality. I listen and see how Nigerians curse their big uncles living in rented apartments in Lekki, Ajah, Ikoyi, etc. I see how people back home in the village brag about "owing" properties. There's so much they don't understand.

1StopRudeness:


Acidosis...u are speaking from a standard, “on a normal day situation”.....
U think the OP has 3M and she’ll be complaining about net on a window
These people’s situation is likely the kind where they once had a job and the building was going on at the time....or a case of inherited building...u don’t know how it is when u are building a place and suddenly loose ur job...most of the time some people just pack into the home halfway built
One of the things that quickly give u stability is having a place to lay ur head with ur kids...after all the lady says she still hustle and gets something from time to time.. I’m not saying stabilizing their source of income isn’t essential.
But someone that doesn’t have a t gulag income stream can’t pay rent... it will eventually lead to case of being thrown out..