Rajman45:
But when he was not broke, he was very sensitive.... Abi?

tonididdy:


No

shadeyinka:

I believe you are not married yet!

1StopRudeness:


Acidosis doesn’t know the meaning of not having the need to think about paying rent, or never having a landlord harassing you or throwing out ur stuff for owing.....husband and wife that doesn’t even have jobs for that matter...it’s hypertension that will kill them whenever rent is almost due..

I don’t quite get the angle acidosis is looking at this from...but there’s no scenario better than not paying any landlord rent for me....it might not be wise to put all savings into the building as the husband did...it’s irrational and reckless...but it’s their home at the end of the day..on the long run it will pay off...

Uchechi20:
I just created a new account for this post, please i need mature advice. My husband has been so broke for years now, he never ever gets money if we have any emergency for my kids sickness, school fees, etc. He likes hallucinating about how he will be rich by getting one juicy political appointment cause he is into politics. Sometimes he hustles to just get food and it ends there(this does not come often), no basic needs like school fees etc. Before you judge me as not being supportive, i am not employed at the moment but i struggle and hustle the little way i can to assist in the house upkeep. I paid school fees, i even gave him a large some to add to our ongoing project but the money unfortunately didn't complete it.

Now our room window net spoit and there is a big bush just around the window. He is not doing anything about fixing the window net as usual, i didn't nag him. I just closed the windows permanently, but i noticed this morning that he opened the windows through out last night, same as the night before. My two children sleep on the same bed. He had to put us at risk like that just for ventilation sake without considering what could creep into our room.

Please i need serious advice on how to handle this, he collected all my savings to add to the project.
NOTE: He leaves the house everyday to come back very late, cause he still serves this political big guys yet there is nothing to show for it.

Acidosis:


There's no burden anywhere. The money the poor spend on personal apartment can pay the same rent they avoid for 20-50 years. Rent for some is only 50k. Without a meaningful job or business, they spend a cumulative sum of N1-2m on a building project. How's that sensible?

africanpea:
Stop giving him money! When you have this money buy and repair these very necessary things, save the rest for the kids fees and other important bills.

When he sees your are becoming independent, taking financial decisions without involving him, he will sit up.

He might not take it likely at first but stand firm on holding on to your money and spending it at the right time and purpose.



Be strong lady, marriage has its ups and downs

babyfaceafrica:
you too noticed abi?..we all should stop fooling ourselves, no money,no happy marriage..love died a long time ago!!

Uchechi20:
I just created a new account for this post, please i need mature advice. My husband has been so broke for years now, he never ever gets money if we have any emergency for my kids sickness, school fees, etc. He likes hallucinating about how he will be rich by getting one juicy political appointment cause he is into politics. Sometimes he hustles to just get food and it ends there(this does not come often), no basic needs like school fees etc. Before you judge me as not being supportive, i am not employed at the moment but i struggle and hustle the little way i can to assist in the house upkeep. I paid school fees, i even gave him a large some to add to our ongoing project but the money unfortunately didn't complete it.

Now our room window net spoit and there is a big bush just around the window. He is not doing anything about fixing the window net as usual, i didn't nag him. I just closed the windows permanently, but i noticed this morning that he opened the windows through out last night, same as the night before. My two children sleep on the same bed. He had to put us at risk like that just for ventilation sake without considering what could creep into our room.

Please i need serious advice on how to handle this, he collected all my savings to add to the project.
NOTE: He leaves the house everyday to come back very late, cause he still serves this political big guys yet there is nothing to show for it.

Uchechi20:
I just created a new account for this post, please i need mature advice. My husband has been so broke for years now, he never ever gets money if we have any emergency for my kids sickness, school fees, etc. He likes hallucinating about how he will be rich by getting one juicy political appointment cause he is into politics. Sometimes he hustles to just get food and it ends there(this does not come often), no basic needs like school fees etc. Before you judge me as not being supportive, i am not employed at the moment but i struggle and hustle the little way i can to assist in the house upkeep. I paid school fees, i even gave him a large some to add to our ongoing project but the money unfortunately didn't complete it.

Now our room window net spoit and there is a big bush just around the window. He is not doing anything about fixing the window net as usual, i didn't nag him. I just closed the windows permanently, but i noticed this morning that he opened the windows through out last night, same as the night before. My two children sleep on the same bed. He had to put us at risk like that just for ventilation sake without considering what could creep into our room.

Please i need serious advice on how to handle this, he collected all my savings to add to the project.
NOTE: He leaves the house everyday to come back very late, cause he still serves this political big guys yet there is nothing to show for it.

pocohantas:
Lol. You married "potential"

I love love, but a whole lot of strategy is needed in choosing a life partner. Considering humans are the most difficult and complex living things to handle.

Please, continue to support your Mr Potential.

I am sure you are one of those that comments YES on threads asking if you can marry an efulefu. An efulefu with zero drive and a 1001 delusions. Well, you have to be the "man"- till he hammers or wakes from his dream.

chiboyo:
Acidosis,
I completely share your opinion on this issue and it really baffles me that people would spend so much to put up shanties just to be called "landlords"
Your example using mutual funds is also apt..

Even if it's just 1m she gave her husband to add up to their personal project, 350k (or even less) can serve for an apartment and the rest goes into a form of business to sustain the family..

We really need to change this narrative that makes people believe that once you build a house, almost all your problems are solved..

africanpea:
Stop giving him money! When you have this money buy and repair these very necessary things, save the rest for the kids fees and other important bills.

When he sees your are becoming independent, taking financial decisions without involving him, he will sit up.

He might not take it likely at first but stand firm on holding on to your money and spending it at the right time and purpose.



Be strong lady, marriage has its ups and downs

AwkaetitiBabe:
With the economic pressure and inflation u still taking of love? Love will feed the kids and pay their school fee eh? Like my ex told me, Love is simply not enough.

babyfaceafrica:
hmmm,when we tell people to have money ,they will say live conquers all?..she didn't say he is carrying or loving...she said he is broke!!!..Poverty is bad....if you don't have money stay single till you do!!

africanpea:
Stop giving him money! When you have this money buy and repair these very necessary things, save the rest for the kids fees and other important bills.

When he sees your are becoming independent, taking financial decisions without involving him, he will sit up.

He might not take it likely at first but stand firm on holding on to your money and spending it at the right time and purpose.



Be strong lady, marriage has its ups and downs

babyfaceafrica:
love is not enough me?..love does not guarantees lasting marriage..money does

Mariangeles:

Your husband is in delusion.
Believe me, it's hard to wake up from those type of illusions and by the time he's disillusioned, a lot of time might have passed .
KEEP PRAYING FOR HIM because he might be under a spell...how else can one explain a full grown man living his life as an errand boy for another ?

olisaEze:
It must have been real difficult to come on a public forum to say this, but no one can give u the advice u seek. You just have to make the hard decisions for u and ur children’s future. He might eventually make it and become a national problem instead of just yours. I think it’s best u sit him down b4 u start involving his extended family. Tell him why a political appointment with huge remunerations wont make him a better husband or father if he can’t plan first to meet the needs of his immediate family with the little he finds to do now. In the mean time, look for what to do to keep urself busy and take care of u and ur kids.