Aphrodite007:


. Otherwise remind her that she’s dependent on you, and you can easily send her home.

Except she is only his dependent because she wants to. She can get a tier 2 visa on her own but probably chose to be tied to him.

sgtponzihater1:


Said she want to help all her siblings first. Her brothers need to relocate too. Already helping her brother to do MSC here. I don't have up to 800 pounds save despite working for months and we are in London

Pick up the phone.
Talk to your MOTHER IN LAW.
Talk to your FATHER IN LAW

Hopefully, some of your wife’s siblings (whom she claims she wants to help) are in talking terms with you. You may even talk to them too.

His family just moved and they both need to adjust their expectations
Life of Nigeria won't cut it,she must be hearing from colleagues how their husbands cook and clean and she has added two plus two.

Add pregnancy to it and you have personality changes within 6 months.

Still doesn't explain why she won't share bills or help out.

sgtponzihater1:


Said she want to help all her siblings first. Her brothers need to relocate too. Already helping her brother to do MSC here. I don't have up to 800 pounds save despite working for months and we are in London

Ok. Fine. Maybe you’re not so bad after all. But this is just one side of the story. You can’t tell me she doesn’t contribute to buy food for the house.

My dad owned the house, car and paid all our fees + shopping while my mum contributed in her little ways with food stuff and sometimes, she didn’t contribute because she paid for her 5 siblings to go to uni. My dad never said he was going to withdraw his support. HE IS A MAN and did the right thing for his children and family. If you can’t afford the rent in that house, move to a smaller one or house share. But you can’t tell me that if your wife wasn’t working you wouldn’t have been able to take care of a family!

sgtponzihater1:


Hard times for me. You will never understand. I can't imagine. Cooking for myself, paying the rent, throwing the garbage away, leaving in the living room, using perfume outside the house because a pregnant woman claims she reacts to perfume. If that happens in pregnancy, what will happen during the nursing stage. I can't deal. Our income are not so different sadly

You need to also think about yourself and your mental wellbeing. I would advise you both go for a meeting with someone whom you both respect e.g parents, pastor, Imam etc. She is pregnant, some ladies tend to be temperamental when they are pregnant. Try to endure till she gives birth, her behaviour might improve. If you both still cannot get along afterwards, a trial separation might rekindle lost vows. Let's not mention the 'D' word for now.

dustydee:

Except she is only his dependent because she wants to. She can get a tier 2 visa on her own but probably chose to be tied to him.

Good for her then. They should divorce then she should apply for her own. It’s just 6 months she’s losing, it’s not much. I can’t imagine what she has to go through being married to a man like that.

Man that is meant to be pampering me (pregnant or not) is expecting me to... mschew let me not be angry this night. Not worth it!

sgtponzihater1:


True it's one side of the story. But except the other story would be how I am not supporting her pregnancy enough. Still does not warrant not wanting to contribute to the home

I remember vividly, I discussed this issue with you months ago........

[quote

sgtponzihater1:
[b][/b]

Every single morning when the pregnant lady is going to work she ensures she arranges a food pack to she won't starve, despite the rigors of pregnancy. However when she is not working and know I have to go to work, she doesn't feel any need to wake up and prepare something for me. But despite being pregnant, she has never gone to work to work without a meal.

Father Lord
I decree and declare, that no man with such a mentality should ever set eyes on my sister, friends or unborn daughters in the Name of Jesus!

I rebuke any man, that thinks with such a low mentality! Holy Ghost fire! Holy Ghost fire!

You that is mean to be making breakfast for her.. God forbid bad thing! Poor woman!

sgtponzihater1:


Hard times for me. You will never understand. I can't imagine. Cooking for myself, paying the rent, throwing the garbage away, leaving in the living room, using perfume outside the house because a pregnant woman claims she reacts to perfume. If that happens in pregnancy, what will happen during the nursing stage. I can't deal. Our income are not so different sadly

This is clearly a breakdown in communication. You both need to go out on a date and talk things over, as separation is the last thing you do. I believe you are married but you and your wife are both living single lives.

To be a man means to make sacrifices for the family. Pregnancy does different things to different women, so you must pay attention to your wife and her emotional needs especially now that she is with child. Make chores fun in your home, make it a time to bond, do them happily with or without her as the home belongs to both of you.

Also have you discussed future finances with her? especially finances when she would have to stop work to birth your child. Dont you think she is withholding her cash for the period when she would have to stop work?

In all you do always look at the big picture, decisions made in a hurry under duress are always regretted

Aphrodite007:

Father Lord
I decree and declare, that no man with such a mentality should ever set eyes on my sister, friends or unborn daughters in the Name of Jesus!
I rebuke any man, that thinks with such a low mentality! Holy Ghost fire! Holy Ghost fire!
You that is mean to be making breakfast for her.. God forbid bad thing! Poor woman!

well it obvious both parties dont care for each other ......... Despite been pregnant , if she making for herself , if she really care she will make a pack for him as well . Has nothing to do with Low Mentality

however maybe something happened in the early part of the marriage that made her stop caring and switch off mentally

....

sgtponzihater1:


God is my witness that I asked for a studio and we fought because she said we can't cope in a studio. She gave example that if she is cooking at night and one is sleeping the heat will disturb. Today the reverse is the case I sleeping in the living room, and bear when she wakes up at 5 to prepare for work, I inhale all the kitchen fumes. But salvation will come in one way.

Why don't you sleep in the room? Also does she not cook for you all the time or just some of the time? Because you mentioned that she cooks, surely there must be some left ove.

[quote

sgtponzihater1:


Stop judging me. I do these all the time for the past 12weeks. I don't mind doing it. But when it's now my job. She had to even remind me that she's going to work, I should pls throw out the trash later. I can do alot if only I am appreciated. The same lady told me if not her condition, she can never imagine herself eating food that I cooked. Won't thanks for all you have been doing be better.

Anyway I am wicked of paying my rent, and paying council tax, and preparing my food pack to work for the past 12 weeks, and sweeping my house daily and throwing the garbage and washing plate.

We had a 2week cooling period EON has brought bill for that, she agreed to pay power and internet, but EON sent a message to state that we have refused to pay and they'll take measures. On Monday I will call and ask them to put the bill on me so as to save myself. Yet I am a wicked man.

3months in UK all I have sent to all my siblings and parents combined is 200 pounds. I know how much I have seen her send, but i am a wicked man.

Cheers for your support for your follow woman.

Afterthought: Noticed when she was registering for energy, she stylishly added both our names so if she doesn't pay I get a message. Same I got for internet. But I am a very bad man, say another lady.

Why would you want to pay since she has agreed to pay?

[quote author=dustydee post=84096807]

sgtponzihater1:


I screen grabbed a message. The full message states the measures they'll take to recover their money. If I don't pay they won't understand, I and my wife split the Bills. I go to the market 90% of time also, and I am an ED worker. God alone can judge

Then offer to help her do the payment with her details if she is busy, you both need to talk more without arguing...

sgtponzihater1:


One day she kept taping me that I am snoring. She woke me up a dozen times that night. Same followed another night. The next day i saw she slept on the sofa. The sofa is cool but is made of spring and shouldn't be for night rest. The next day I saw she did the same thing. I woke up to notice she slept on the sofa. That's when I told her to go to the room and I will sleep there rather. I did that because it didn't seem appropriate for a pregnant woman to be on a spring sofa. That's how this started

Wait...
Did you guys just contract this ‘marriage’ for the sake of migrating to the UK?
Or ALL these things were happening while still in Nigeria?

Was there a dating, a courtship, a wedding and now Marriage? Or it was just contract?

Why do I have the feeling that if this thread is shown to your wife, and she too is able to create a faceless and untraceable moniker, we will get to hear things that you would rather not have us hear?

[quote author=EngrSaks post=84096841]

On a positive note, it's election season. I got into this country on the back of immigration policies by a Labour government. I studied, graduated and worked my socks off based on the liberal immigration policies of a Labour government. I'm Labour through and through, and a hardcore Corbynite. If we want free university tuition for our kids, free and quality healthcare (including dental), cost-effective utilities etc. The UK is the fifth largest economy in the world, we can afford these basic necessities.

Vote Labour!

na wa o

sgtponzihater1:


I asked her to pay. And she said this month she has to change her winter jackets, buy clothes appropriate for pregnancy, as her other clothes are hurting her belly, so cannot afford it. That was it.

[quote author=RalphJean

claremont:
On a positive note, it's election season. I got into this country on the back of immigration policies by a Labour government. I studied, graduated and worked my socks off based on the liberal immigration policies of a Labour government. I'm Labour through and through, and a hardcore Corbynite. If we want free university tuition for our kids, free and quality healthcare (including dental), cost-effective utilities etc. The UK is the fifth largest economy in the world, we can afford these basic necessities.

Vote Labour!

Which yeye Labour?
Labour that can’t say what they want about BreXit.

Tories ALL THE WAY!!

..

sgtponzihater1:


I asked her to pay. And she said this month she has to change her winter jackets, buy clothes appropriate for pregnancy, as her other clothes are hurting her belly, so cannot afford it. That was it.

She is RIGHT.
She has to change all those.
You too have to buy winter clothes.
Bills still MUST be settled.

You guys should budget together.


How were you doing this in Nigeria?
Abi Una jus marry on the eve of migrating ni?

...

claremont:
On a positive note, it's election season. I got into this country on the back of immigration policies by a Labour government. I studied, graduated and worked my socks off based on the liberal immigration policies of a Labour government. I'm Labour through and through, and a hardcore Corbynite. If we want free university tuition for our kids, free and quality healthcare (including dental), cost-effective utilities etc. The UK is the fifth largest economy in the world, we can afford these basic necessities.

Vote Labour!

they say thereis barely enough funds to keep the nhs afloat, so realistically speaking how can the government afford this without raising taxes :free university tuition for our kids, free and quality healthcare (including dental), cost-effective utilities .............impossible, only if UK is oil rich like the middle east of those days

sgtponzihater1:


In Naija rent wasn't an issue for me. Nurses are paid crap, and I didn't need those help. Rent for a year could be paid with a months pay. It's totally different here.

However I am sorry for derailing this lovely thread with my problems. Forgive me sincerely while I look on God for help.

You already see me as a loser and a bad man so I have nothing to proof again.

Thanks for your help.

No matter how crap nurses are paid.
Infact, even if it’s 100 naira per month. e no matter.

Bros, Mek I no brag.
Back in Naija, my salary was more than 400,000 naira per month.
My wife was doing NYSC. She was receiving 19,000
Yet, we understood what was for chopping, what for for family support, what was for flexing and what was for saving.
Her 19,000 was PART of OUR family budget.

You have to discuss with your wife.
Discuss with her mother.
Discuss with her father.

We may be in the UK, but we are CULTURED people. If indeed there was LOVE between you guys, before the marriage. Then YOU guys can dwfinitely things out. COMMUNICATION is the key.

On a lighter note:
If your wife was a Dentist, I would have thought she was probably paying you back for the humongous previous insults of dental students . But well, it’s possible you have heaped abuse on Nurses too and she is paying you back.


On a serious Note:
Talk to your in-laws.

check ur mail sent u an email

[quote author=RalphJean post=8409

sgtponzihater1
have u check ur email and responded?

claremont:
On a positive note, it's election season. I got into this country on the back of immigration policies by a Labour government. I studied, graduated and worked my socks off based on the liberal immigration policies of a Labour government. I'm Labour through and through, and a hardcore Corbynite. If we want free university tuition for our kids, free and quality healthcare (including dental), cost-effective utilities etc. The UK is the fifth largest economy in the world, we can afford these basic necessities.

Vote Labour!

We should vote for a geriatric santa?.....