UnbiasTruth:
I am sorry this is rather too long but please I need to pour out my mind because I need your mature advice. I have been going through a lot of trauma since my husband stopped working and it is really getting to me because my blood pressure is high.

I love my husband and despite what is happening now, I still love him. I just need advice on how to manage the situation right now.

My husband is a hard-working, loving, caring and gentle man; he showed me true love from the first day I met him. He was very dedicated to his job and he received commendations from his boss and colleagues at work but something just happened that led to his resignation.

A kind of conspiracy against him. He was advised by one of his superiors at work to resign. Now it’s been more than a year that he is out of job. All attempts to get him back into the labour force had been futile because he keeps saying he does not want to settle for less.

He was earning six figure salary while at his former place of work and he has a side business which he still manages till now but the profit is close to nothing and it is not even constant.

Now, the issue I have with him is that my husband gets angry at almost everything. He nags and drinks (not with friends because he is an introvert) excessively, so he is always at home. He keeps on complaining about our house helps even when I investigate and realize that most of his complaints are flimsy. We have changed house helps in this year up to 4 times.

So, in August this year, I decided not to get any maid again since we could not find one whose domestic care service would satisfy my husband.

Mind you, I have been the one practically footing the bill after two months that my husband lost his job because we made a huge investment in acquiring some property shortly before he lost his job. So, I pay house rent, school fees, feed the whole family (we have 3 lovely children) from my salary.

My nature of work rarely gives me time so I can’t afford to take care of the children and do much of the house chores. I explained to my husband to assist since he is always at home but he keeps saying if he had not lost his job, I wouldn’t have asked him to do basic house chores.

I know he was raised with silver spoon so he rarely knows how to do most domestic work. I had been the one doing this before we started having house helps and my job at office got more engaging.

My pastor recently advised that I should consider getting a professional cleaner who will only do some routine cleaning and leave immediately because my husband may not be comfortable with a stranger in the house.

Two days ago, I came across a thread https://www.nairaland.com/5426688/what-cost-getting-regular-home here on Nairaland while searching for a good cleaning service here in Lagos and I decided to pay for the service of a male cleaner.

After discussing with my husband, he shunned the idea and still insists I do it myself. So, he asked me to demand a refund. I need someone to help me do some basic cleaning at home since I can afford to pay for the service, but my husband does not want to accept any stranger in our home.

I have asked my pastor and my mother-in-law to talk to him also but he is still keeping deaf hear.

Is there anyone with a better suggestion before I get fed up?

DanielJones:
As for a good cleaning company, I can recommend Afterlifecleaning.com 08180458852. Call them to make your requests and bookings. As per price range for 4 bedroom, I don't have an idea. 2 bedroom is about 15k per month for once in a week cleaning.

vickydevoka:

Society ni breadwinner ko!. They there the look society may sand enter ur eye. If u have been to somewhere lyk Abuja majority of lady are breadwinner simply bcus women are more employed than men.
Or if I can get a connection for my wife to work in ministry of women affairs n earn six figures, is dat bad. Abeg we have gone past that age of bread or garri winner. Na who see Road go share give de rest

My nature of work rarely gives me time so I can’t afford to take care of the children and do much of the house chores. I explained to my husband to assist since he is always at home but he keeps saying if he had not lost his job, I wouldn’t have asked him to do basic house chores.

Acidosis:


This is the brain behind the thread.


You guys should stop washing your energy on recommendations. The agenda is to promote Afterlife Cleaning.

Beatswim:
i can sense u aren't married.. Get married and learn dear sister... This man was loving and hard working before his change of attitude due to frustration and his not been able to fend for his family... Now back to the op.. Shes a strong and God fearing woman just like my wife... I passsed through the same issue for 5years and my wife did the same but everything turned around since 2018...dear op pls be patient wt this man.. See a good prophet... And respect your husband wt all you have... If u can continue... Your husband will regain all hr has lost.. And those your 3 lucky children will become great in life... This is just a passing phase for your family so that u can have a story to train those children..

Fountainofyouth:



So anyone that says an obvious truth about Yoruba is automatically from the east See ya life, aren't you a bigoted tribalist?

Is there anyone with a better suggestion before I get fed up?

Acidosis:


This is the brain behind the thread.


You guys should stop washing your energy on recommendations. The agenda is to promote Afterlife Cleaning.

UnbiasTruth:
I am sorry this is rather too long but please I need to pour out my mind because I need your mature advice. I have been going through a lot of trauma since my husband stopped working and it is really getting to me because my blood pressure is high.

I love my husband and despite what is happening now, I still love him. I just need advice on how to manage the situation right now.

My husband is a hard-working, loving, caring and gentle man; he showed me true love from the first day I met him. He was very dedicated to his job and he received commendations from his boss and colleagues at work but something just happened that led to his resignation.

A kind of conspiracy against him. He was advised by one of his superiors at work to resign. Now it’s been more than a year that he is out of job. All attempts to get him back into the labour force had been futile because he keeps saying he does not want to settle for less.

He was earning six figure salary while at his former place of work and he has a side business which he still manages till now but the profit is close to nothing and it is not even constant.

Now, the issue I have with him is that my husband gets angry at almost everything. He nags and drinks (not with friends because he is an introvert) excessively, so he is always at home. He keeps on complaining about our house helps even when I investigate and realize that most of his complaints are flimsy. We have changed house helps in this year up to 4 times.

So, in August this year, I decided not to get any maid again since we could not find one whose domestic care service would satisfy my husband.

Mind you, I have been the one practically footing the bill after two months that my husband lost his job because we made a huge investment in acquiring some property shortly before he lost his job. So, I pay house rent, school fees, feed the whole family (we have 3 lovely children) from my salary.

My nature of work rarely gives me time so I can’t afford to take care of the children and do much of the house chores. I explained to my husband to assist since he is always at home but he keeps saying if he had not lost his job, I wouldn’t have asked him to do basic house chores.

I know he was raised with silver spoon so he rarely knows how to do most domestic work. I had been the one doing this before we started having house helps and my job at office got more engaging.

My pastor recently advised that I should consider getting a professional cleaner who will only do some routine cleaning and leave immediately because my husband may not be comfortable with a stranger in the house.

Two days ago, I came across a thread https://www.nairaland.com/5426688/what-cost-getting-regular-home here on Nairaland while searching for a good cleaning service here in Lagos and I decided to pay for the service of a male cleaner.

After discussing with my husband, he shunned the idea and still insists I do it myself. So, he asked me to demand a refund. I need someone to help me do some basic cleaning at home since I can afford to pay for the service, but my husband does not want to accept any stranger in our home.

I have asked my pastor and my mother-in-law to talk to him also but he is still keeping deaf hear.

Is there anyone with a better suggestion before I get fed up?

dominique:
Send him back to his father's house to go and learn some manners. Don't take him back till you're convinced he has changed.

CaptainKool15:


Did you read the part she said her husband now drinks excessively? He is depressed, and if it continues, the woman could lose her husband to the cold hands of depression. There is no hard and fast rule in marriage o o.

healthserve:
Can we have this on front page to have more positive contributions please mod?? RoyalRoy

eni4real:
I know say na Superstory...

OP is not a typical modern day Nigerian wife.. She is too responsible, humble, peaceful, not vindictive, caring.. not nagging... In fact, she is too good to be true..

Inside Nairaland, lo ti ri many Super Stories

Nice Business strategies tho

AwkaetitiBabe:
That's why I love oyibo mentality, he would have turned into the house husband to help you d bread winner out pending when he gets a job.

genq:


Based on your previous comment I shouldn't even be responding to an uncouth scallywag like you.

You said OP's husband should be locked up - of course you'd say something so senseless and idiotic being that you have no man of your own.

Local champion

dominique:
Send him back to his father's house to go and learn some manners. Don't take him back till you're convinced he has changed.

Berankis:
I don't have any advice really. I lost interest at the point you began stating how you pay rent and feed the family from your salary. I hate this statement! He was paying the family's bills and feeding everyone before he lost his job and nothing was posted on social media or broadcast around, how come its when a wife helps that the whole world will get to know how you have been taken care of your own family?

Fountainofyouth:



He is not depressed anything abeg, why won't he allow his wife get a maid after changing 4 maids in a year? He is just a vindictive and bitter person, he hates the fact that his wife is the one working and he is the one at home, he just wants to domesticate her by force nah, abi why else will he tell her to do it herself, someone that is working and obviously needs help at home.....

Acidosis:


This is the brain behind the thread.


You guys should stop wasting your energy on recommendations. The agenda is to promote Afterlife Cleaning.