₦airaland Forum

JaneKenedy:
Leave the guys, stake what you have.

You would still appreciated for reading and passing without making such comment.....


Or that's right.......a flirt thinks everyone is

kobarney:
my dear... you are free spirited but humans are territorial. I'm not surprised your husband got pissed That you have your drink to just another guy. Fact remains that it was a flirty gesture.

let me tell you something... There are many wrongs we may be doing that doesn't seem to scratch for us but cuts deep on our partners. we may not even realize that we are wrong but we are.

what you did was out of the ethics of your union I guess... I think you may have to relax on your ease with other males.. Understand that you are married and need to be a little withdrawn from other men. Not all gifts are meant to be accepted, not all favours are meant to be taken and done. Once married, many actions become disrespectful to your man.. whether directly or indirectly.

I hope you do apologize when he feels this way? do reassure him that you're fully his and beat down on relationships with other guys.. especially unnecessary ones because trust me... He's hurt when you do that......but what do I know? I'm just a young man whose girlfriend just stopped this act. It was irritating.

Before anyone comes to say I'm blaming just her, how about her husband... mind you, she spoke just about herself.

ojuu4u:
You will soon end up in stranger's BEDS



Not 1 or 2 but many beds
even in her imagination, my wife can't bring male family to my room without informing me let alone stranger.

Apology for my quote below

When it comes to RELATIONSHIP, females are subhuman to males.....you won't know when you fall yakata

Riele:
He wants to control you . Smh .

Most Nigerian men mentality .

Aunty ,let him know your stance now that the marriage is still fresh before he will come online and complain that you've changed .

JaneKenedy:
Around 10:20pm, no sign yet, I came out again now saw him. He was just coming back. I was angry a bit but I calmed my self down because we were outside and I also was thinking he must be tired.

So I beckoned on him to let's go, he insisted we sit and have some drinks.
We formed a table of four, the food seller friend of mine and one drunk guy, he said the guy is his brother.
So while we were drinking, he( my husband) needed to talk with one of our Compound's guy there, so he moved to their table.

I left the drunk, smoking guy at the table and I and my gf( the food seller) went to her table, every thing is within 7-9 Meters range.

While we were seated at the food stand, gf narrating her encounter to me, I was still with my drink in a glass. A guy came, all of us sometimes sit there in the evening. One thing led to another oo, he was thinking I was having a stout because my eyes were already weak. He said he would drink out of it to prove it, my husband and his friend were around watching us.
I said no wahala, let me finish, I would give him the last glass.





Please, what do you think about this whole story, if I'm wrong in anyway kindly point it out, and my husband what do you think of his reaction, if you were in his shoes and I was your wife, would you think or behave as him

I am beginning to feel my marriage is not right. Someone that cannot trust me, I don't understand.

Please, what do you think. No insult please . Call a spade, a spade, I wouldn't mind

TheGoodJoe:
I tire. The man is even trying. How can a married woman give another man her glass to drink and complain of her husband reacting.

Madam OP. You are married. Cast and bind the free spirit. If a man ask you for your number. Thank him for the gesture and tell him you can not because YOU ARE MARRIED.

Same commitment should be shown by the men. It is no more a man's World. Women have their stakes too but commitment is a must from both parties.

Either way, your husband should stop the late nights and give you your deserved peace of mind.

Fountainofyouth post=84370729[b:
]When married there are some certain things you shouldn't do anymore[/b], like being excessively free with strangers, and ma'am, you don't have to tell your husband everything that happens or how your day went when you know he's the jealous type, does he even tell you every single detail about his day? If he does, how do you react to it? If you don't react like he does, tell him to emulate you, if he doesn't stop, you too stop telling him every single details, some people don't like to hear the truth, so if you don't want to lie to him avoid telling him details so that there will be peace.

ericsmith:
What does your head to do other parts of the body or lemme re phrase what is suppose to be d primary function of the head ?
d man might b xhibitin insecurities buh ladies save d naija men mentality crap

JaneKenedy:
Ok. Thanks.
But I can't since most of my contract comes from once a stranger and recommendations. I am selective too with people I collect or give my contacts. If you are not promising no reason keeping contact with you. Like that.
He knows that too.

Truely I don't understand what is wrong in giving someone a glass of drink you are not taking again. I didn't share, I gave out and stood to leave. I should have poured it on the floor or said no, I get but I don't understand in reality. I would just stop going outside no matter what even some days he would still be the one to bring me out, when it's already late. I might not have words to express all because I don't really want to paint him, I just want to know my fault fess (sic)

itsme01:
Hanty your husband loves and value you hence his jealousy

JaneKenedy:
Ok. Thanks.
But I can't since most of my contract comes from once a stranger and recommendations. I am selective too with people I collect or give my contacts. If you are not promising no reason keeping contact with you. Like that.
He knows that too.

Truely I don't understand what is wrong in giving someone a glass of drink you are not taking again. I didn't share, I gave out and stood to leave. I should have poured it on the floor or said no, I get but I don't understand in reality. I would just stop going outside no matter what even some days he would still be the one to bring me out, when it's already late. I might not have words to express all because I don't really want to paint him, I just want to know my fault fess (sic)

Ebonygirl1:
Hi Lady. There's this thing called "reverse visualization" that people do when dealing with other people or trying to develop self control. It simply means reversing roles or situations in your head. Re-read your story, then in places where you are the subject, replace it with your husband. I won't tell you whether or not you were at fault. Just do the exercise and answer the question yourself.

GrabHisBalls:
Madam, your problem is; you don't see anything wrong in what you did, but see everything wrong in your husband correcting you, or either, getting angry over what you did. There's nothing wrong in being free-spirited but that doesn't mean you shouldn't apply common sense when need be. For a married woman, what point were you proving by handing the guy your drink to prove the "it's not a stout" point? When you knew your husband wasn't far from you? Even in a situation he was far away, every play should have a limit. You seem not to have boundaries. Perhaps, the only thing you succeeded in guiding was your virginity. Don't be like the foolish virgins. The kind of man who won't get angry over what you did has to be those 'I don't care type' and in this case, your husband is the opposite.

BTW, do you guys have to seat in beer parlors?

Ebonygirl1:
Hi Lady. There's this thing called "reverse visualization" that people do when dealing with other people or trying to develop self control. It simply means reversing roles or situations in your head. Re-read your story, then in places where you are the subject, replace it with your husband. I won't tell you whether or not you were at fault. Just do the exercise and answer the question yourself.

bdchange:
you are intelligent dear..spot on

JaneKenedy:
I don't do that either.... everything ends up there. Except it's someone I might have interest in what comes up in the talk perhaps business deal, works, which I will discuss with him first and if it's not okay with it. I forget it. I tell him everything. Like a guy chyked me today, see what I told him, I would be expecting him to joke with me....but no he would just change and be angry.....if I don't talk to him, who would I

Like I don't even have strength. Most I cant recognize the next day, I don't even visit people at their houses except my work colleagues only when it is extremely necessary and a female or in company of a female if it is a males house, or we talk outside. Sometimes I beg him to follow me.

Riele:
Stupid mentality .

JaneKenedy:
I don't do that either.... everything ends up there. Except it's someone I might have interest in what comes up in the talk perhaps business deal, works, which I will discuss with him first and if it's not okay with it. I forget it. I tell him everything. Like a guy chyked me today, see what I told him, I would be expecting him to joke with me....but no he would just change and be angry.....if I don't talk to him, who would I

Like I don't even have strength. Most I cant recognize the next day, I don't even visit people at their houses except my work colleagues only when it is extremely necessary and a female or in company of a female if it is a males house, or we talk outside. Sometimes I beg him to follow me.

Fountainofyouth:
I have a pvssy diickhead, and if you can comprehend well and have a well functioning brain, you'd see this your irritatingly abbreviated comment is exactly what I typed in my first and second sentence.

JaneKenedy:
I have always been a free spirited person. For instant, I don't segregate who I speak with, I accommodate all sane person except there's a reason I shouldn't associate with the person. Giving you my contact is not a problem for me, it's picking your calls or saving your contact finally, indicates you in my good book.
Then I got married, I stopped many of this but giving contact and speaking with strangers, I couldn't stop. My husband married me as a virgin at 30. Even while we were dating I still maintained my stand. We did everything but any form of sex. We are just I year old in the marriage by the way.
I already mentioned I'm a free spirited person but that doesn't mean I don't play mind games. I never hide anything even my daily encounter from my husband. But when ever I tell him about meeting someone new, what we discuss and how we ended, he would flare up and start quarrelling with me. That I talk to strangers, don't I know I am married, indirectly calling me a flirt. I have left the house several times for him. Everyday we would be talking about samething. I told him I cannot stop meeting people and telling him about it.
We are practically always together that he could tell where to meet me even if there was no prior calling to know my whereabout. If my phone is not reachable for any reason, he has and knows who to call to reach me. He knows my daily engagements like that.
Even when things happened in his absence, I tell him the exact way it happened even if I was at fault or not. Just the way it happened.
Most times he comes home very late but I don't have problems with that again, provided I was able to hear from him.
He is very caring and loving too.

Yesternight, his numbers wasn't going through, it was getting late as usual. I didn't know how to reach him and he was still out of town when I heard from him last. Around 9pm, I haven't heard from my husband, he hasn't called. I came out to a nearby bar where he usually spends his time, he wasn't there, I sat with my friend who sells food in the evening, a young girl, then I met his policeman friend and was complaining that I haven't heard from him.
Then later I went to our house to go and continue waiting oo. Since it was already late.

Around 10:20pm, no sign yet, I came out again now saw him. He was just coming back. I was angry a bit but I calmed my self down because we were outside and I also was thinking he must be tired.

So I beckoned on him to let's go, he insisted we sit and have some drinks.
We formed a table of four, the food seller friend of mine and one drunk guy, he said the guy is his brother.
So while we were drinking, he( my husband) needed to talk with one of our Compound's guy there, so he moved to their table.

I left the drunk, smoking guy at the table and I and my gf( the food seller) went to her table, every thing is within 7-9 Meters range.

While we were seated at the food stand, gf narrating her encounter to me, I was still with my drink in a glass. A guy came, all of us sometimes sit there in the evening. One thing led to another oo, he was thinking I was having a stout because my eyes were already weak. He said he would drink out of it to prove it, my husband and his friend were around watching us.
I said no wahala, let me finish, I would give him the last glass. I did.

My husband came to tell me, what that guy(our Compound's guy) said, that someone collected my drink from me, I was like wow, what's wrong in giving somebody my drink.
A drink I didn't want to take again. I was hearing, I am not supposed to give my drink to him, I asked if they knew what transpired....we started another quarrel. This time around he accused me of flirting with the guy. Me!.... I told him, he would have told his friend that that was nothing.

If we started listing rights and wrong, it was wrong of us to be outside by that time looking for who?

I have thick skin for what people think of me from afar but someone I share a home with...I can't really deal.

Please, what do you think about this whole story, if I'm wrong in anyway kindly point it out, and my husband what do you think of his reaction, if you were in his shoes and I was your wife, would you think or behave as him

I am beginning to feel my marriage is not right. Someone that cannot trust me, I don't understand.

Please, what do you think. No insult please . Call a spade, a spade, I wouldn't mind

Fountainofyouth:
How the hell is a nuisance like you functioning intellectually? I'm pained at your very existence.

JaneKenedy:
Leave the guys, stake what you have.

You would still appreciated for reading and passing without making such comment.....


Or that's right.......a flirt thinks everyone is

geletor:
Madam its as simple as ABC.....just divorce him and continue your flirting, coz it seems you weren't ready for marriage after all!

JaneKenedy:
Leave the guys, stake what you have.

You would still appreciated for reading and passing without making such comment.....


Or that's right.......a flirt thinks everyone is