₦airaland Forum

Blakjewelry:
lol me i am not scared about whether the marriage is going to work or not, but the marriage ceremony jeez i hate those formalities, i wish me and babe will just go quietly to the registrar

NwaAmaikpe:



You worry a lot so marriage is not for you.
Because what you fear and devote energy thinking of, you attract.

I'm not going to say more than this because you should have read a lot from the nothing I wrote.

lilwetdick:
you are just scared because you dont have cash

if you have cash, you will bother about the issues in marriages

lilwetdick:
you are just scared because you dont have cash

if you have cash, you will bother about the issues in marriages

NevetsIbot:
Well. Ion see marriage as a do or die thing... If the woman I marry ends up being a devil, I'll kill the marriage with a divorce letter .. my sanity is my utmost priority.


That's even if I can get over my fear of commitment

lilwetdick:
you are just scared because you dont have cash

if you have cash, you will bother about the issues in marriages

MVPtesley:
Honestly speaking... I m scared to the bone.

I m scared ... terribly scared !!!

I m scared because of the things i see and hear.

Not a single married person i know has actually said anything or something good about their marriage,

some even went as far as saying that it is better to go to hell than to be alive and go home everyday to meet their wives.

I see little girls booking or reserving spaces in hotels, brothels and guest houses, parading as sluts waiting for customers... are these not peoples children?


touts and area boys littered in the nukes of the streets, robbing, stabbing and maiming people... these are peoples children.

cultists of different dimensions disturbing the peace of the neighbourhood.

The thing is...some of these girls and guys are from a wealthy and well defined homes yet despite all the efforts probably by parents, they still do not replicate the good characteristics as intended by society and parents.

I feel the institution of marriage is a gargantuan gamble... it could be a head or tail probability, let someone not tell me it is different than rolling a dice.

some marry for the sake of procreation... forgetting that kids can be a curse as well as a blessing no matter how careful a person tries to be in raising them.

some get married and no kids to show in a decade after.

some get married and behold kids with one deformity or the other.


THESE ARE THE TOUGH EVERDAY REALITY.

JUST WORRIED.

melody91:
better add me to your phobia list cos I'm getting really close to getting you and when I do.. you're ruined ,I promise you that

MVPtesley:
so I should shove my thoughts in my guts and walk straight into a land grenade that ll tear me to pieces? it is worth thinking about, its worth pondering upon... I need to carry out a critical feasibility study on the subject matter.

abbatoir:
It's beyond level of comprehension...just live life

MVPtesley:
u ll be dead, u ll be shot in the mouth. I have ur number, I ll get u. be careful of unknown numbers. it's easy to get u

chigoizie7:
Most of those kids from rich homes that misbehaves are kids whose parents did not parent very well. I said most, not all.


I will speak on the issue of kids being bad and all that.

Marriage scares me too, especially when it concerns marrying the right woman for me. That aside.



By parenting very well, I mean, having time with your kids, from having time with them, you become their friends not just their parent, from there, you both know what worries each other, what brings you down and what brings them down too. What motivates them, you find out the type of peer friends they keep. You can influence their choice of peer friends because, you are their 1st best friends and they trust you so much. They trust your decisions, they know that you want the best for them, when you did something wrong admit that you did, no matter their age, not minding that you are their parent. But always know when to draw that line between being a friend and being a parent. It is not easy. I am not also saying that it is 100% guaranteed that if you are all these, that they will be better kids to you and the society at large, but we have to try.

All the above is achievable only if we have enough time for our kids, unfortunately, our naija economy ain’t helping matters.


I will tell you something. My father provided for the family financially same as my mom, but dad never had time to be with us, he goes to work as early as 7 am, at that time everyone in the house is as busy as he is, getting ready for school and all that, and he returns late at night, sometimes 7 pm or so. He was a banker, a senior management staff at that. Sometimes the key to the strong room is with him, so he is likely to be the last or one of the last to leave the back premises. We never had that time with him, he didn’t spend much time with him. But he provided financially. He disciplined us too, if we do something wrong, mom will always tell him and as the head of the family, he cautions us, but that bond wasn’t their, I for example care less of how he feels or how he takes certain things or decisions of mine because I really do not know him that much.


On the other hand, mom was a secondary school teacher, we all leave for school In the morning( her school is always different from ours) and return home almost the same time on daily basis, we do practically do things together, we became friends with her, she taught us some things, we could confide in her unlike dad. Fast forward to secondary school and university days, there were lots of peer pressures, pressures to do things that you know that is wrong. But because I always think of how my mom will feel if I do this, I always hold back. In all those times, I never thought of how dad will feel.

It formed my opinion to some extent that good parenting is the key, charity always begins at home.

I got admission to study bio chemistry but realized that my dad never had time for us because of the nature of his job. And I also realize that biochem has less work opportunities in naija, it might put me in a tight box. I wrote another jamb and chose a course where I will be allowed to choose where I work, I went for statistics, I would have chance to work in a firm that would allow me time for my family unlike my dad. After graduation, it downed on me that there is no job, I was forced to go back to my dads work, I became a banker, I wake up as early as 5 am, and I return as late as 7 or 8 pm depending on traffic and other things, some times I go to work on Saturdays( half day) after one year, I decided that it is not worth it, if I get comfortable with this job, then I am doomed, I resigned. I am currently struggling to start my own businesse, build it to a certain level before I marry, so that I will always have that time for my family.


But I knew that the economy of this nation will never allow most young men and women to be the desired parents they want for their kids.



Even businessmen go to shop very early, return late at nights.

And because they do not have time for their kids. Social media, television and bad friends end up raising kids for them. And that is very sad.



Op, hustle so that the pursuit of money to live fine will not deter you from being the best dad.






I pity my future wife, I will be in competition with her, that whenever you ask my kids, “ dad and mom who do you love most”? They will always choose dad.