johnsonpal:
Please no front page!!

I need mature advice guys, I am 28yrs old, first born of 3. I have been responsible for myself as long as I can remember and partly responsible for my siblings too. A week doesn't go by without my Dad not requesting for money for one project/debt to another and most times I do but of recent it getting too much, it not like i'm rich or something, I am just trying to make something out of myself but this demands is causing a serious strain on me mentally. Note, I am responsible for my siblings too.

My sisters wedding was barely 2 weeks ago and I was responsible for over 50% of the cost, my plan after the wedding I will be allowed to atleast breath before the request start coming in again so I thought, just this morning I woke to missed call and texts from my father requesting for 60k for his house projects. I can't even remember this man EVER giving me 10k for myself, He is always emotionally blackmailing him because he sent me to a private uni(he barely paid the school fees then).

This is really affecting me physiologically .I can't even stay a week without any family issue. I checked my blood pressure last week and it was 140/120. Can i cut this man off before he kills me with responsibilities ? At my age I think this is too much! my mum and sibling are understanding

sisisioge:
Chai! I just pity you. Cut him off completely...move far away from him and do only what you can afford for your siblings too.

johnsonpal:
We are actually far away. The issue they are prey on good nature and soft spot, I will just block him or something. My mom has told him to atleast let me be for a while, but he doesn't listen. there always a story everytime. Atleast a normal human being will allow me rest after all the wedding expenses.

donbachi:
U're lucky u have one...lost mine.I just wished he is alive and be making all dis demands...I will happily give from d little I have.

NoGender:
Listen
Thirty percent have fathers, who are still alive and working.
Thirty percent have fathers who are still alive but not working.
Twenty percent had fathers who when they were alive, were working but are now dead.
The rest twenty percent do not even know their fathers.
Each and every of us reading this post falls into one of these categories.

Do you know what it means for your father, the man that gave birth to you, to surpress the shame and embarrassment that can even make him feel less of a man, and then bring himself to ask you for money?

He may not even be reasoning that it is because he sent you to a private school, It may be that it is your akonuche that's giving you that reason to justify your bluntness.

Give your father —when you can, when you do not have, tell him respectfully that you don't have.
Don't ever think of cutting him off.
These people offering you those vile options would not be there to help you when that time comes.

You're a very lucky man I would tell you. You're very lucky.
I wish I have my father to struggle with me and offer his fatherly advice.

sisisioge:
Chai! I just pity you. Cut him off completely...move far away from him and do only what you can afford for your siblings too.

Richy4:


with a knife or sledge hammer?

johnsonpal:
Please no front page!!

I need mature advice guys, I am 28yrs old, first born of 3. I have been responsible for myself as long as I can remember and partly responsible for my siblings too. A week doesn't go by without my Dad not requesting for money for one project/debt to another and most times I do but of recent it getting too much, it not like i'm rich or something, I am just trying to make something out of myself but this demands is causing a serious strain on me mentally. Note, I am responsible for my siblings too.

My sisters wedding was barely 2 weeks ago and I was responsible for over 50% of the cost, my plan after the wedding I will be allowed to atleast breath before the request start coming in again so I thought, just this morning I woke to missed call and texts from my father requesting for 60k for his house projects. I can't even remember this man EVER giving me 10k for myself, He is always emotionally blackmailing him because he sent me to a private uni(he barely paid the school fees then).

This is really affecting me physiologically .I can't even stay a week without any family issue. I checked my blood pressure last week and it was 140/120. Can i cut this man off before he kills me with responsibilities ? At my age I think this is too much! my mum and sibling are understanding

LordKO:
You don't need to cut your father off your life, instead you need to take charge of your dominion. You can be strong-minded without being either heartless or wicked - in other words, you can be both altruistic and conscientious without being subjugable.

He's an egoist, so his penchant for subjugation will be perpetual, and it's your duty to master the art of relating safely with him without cutting him off entirely.

One can always give everything without losing anything.

NoGender:
Listen
Thirty percent have fathers, who are still alive and working.
Thirty percent have fathers who are still alive but not working.
Twenty percent had fathers who when they were alive, were working but are now dead.
The rest twenty percent do not even know their fathers.
Each and every of us reading this post falls into one of these categories.

Do you know what it means for your father, the man that gave birth to you, to surpress the shame and embarrassment that can even make him feel less of a man, and then bring himself to ask you for money?

He may not even be reasoning that it is because he sent you to a private school, It may be that it is your akonuche that's giving you that reason to justify your bluntness.

Give your father —when you can, when you do not have, tell him respectfully that you don't have.
Don't ever think of cutting him off.
These people offering you those vile options would not be there to help you when that time comes.

You're a very lucky man I would tell you. You're very lucky.
I wish I have my father to struggle with me and offer his fatherly advice.

NoGender:


Here's to the ones that we got,
Cheers to the ones that we've lost because this post brings back memories.
Everything would be alright.

100/

NoGender:
Listen
Thirty percent have fathers, who are still alive and working.
Thirty percent have fathers who are still alive but not working.
Twenty percent had fathers who when they were alive, were working but are now dead.
The rest twenty percent do not even know their fathers.
Each and every of us reading this post falls into one of these categories.one in a million advise, i hope op agree with this

Do you know what it means for your father, the man that gave birth to you, to surpress the shame and embarrassment that can even make him feel less of a man, and then bring himself to ask you for money?

He may not even be reasoning that it is because he sent you to a private school, It may be that it is your akonuche that's giving you that reason to justify your bluntness.

Give your father —when you can, when you do not have, tell him respectfully that you don't have.
Don't ever think of cutting him off.
These people offering you those vile options would not be there to help you when that time comes.

You're a very lucky man I would tell you. You're very lucky.
I wish I have my father to struggle with me and offer his fatherly advice.

johnsonpal:
Please no front page!!

I need mature advice guys, I am 28yrs old, first born of 3. I have been responsible for myself as long as I can remember and partly responsible for my siblings too. A week doesn't go by without my Dad not requesting for money for one project/debt to another and most times I do but of recent it getting too much, it not like i'm rich or something, I am just trying to make something out of myself but this demands is causing a serious strain on me mentally. Note, I am responsible for my siblings too.

My sisters wedding was barely 2 weeks ago and I was responsible for over 50% of the cost, my plan after the wedding I will be allowed to atleast breath before the request start coming in again so I thought, just this morning I woke to missed call and texts from my father requesting for 60k for his house projects. I can't even remember this man EVER giving me 10k for myself, He is always emotionally blackmailing him because he sent me to a private uni(he barely paid the school fees then).

This is really affecting me physiologically .I can't even stay a week without any family issue. I checked my blood pressure last week and it was 140/120. Can i cut this man off before he kills me with responsibilities ? At my age I think this is too much! my mum and sibling are understanding

donbachi:
U're lucky u have one...lost mine.I just wished he is alive and be making all dis demands...I will happily give from d little I have.

frozen70:


You don't have to allow this man to frustrate your future

The more you pay attention to him the more he wrecks you down

Use diplomacy on him

If he ask of money again, tell him you took loan to support your sister wedding and you have to pay it up with 80% of your salary

Get your mum involved in this new approach and let your mum knows that your Dad continues demand has been affecting your efforts

Instead of calling him regularly, send an sms to great him and tell him that you are sorry for not reaching him that things are not moving forward

Whenever he calls you, your response first is things are difficult so that, that alone will suppress any impending demands from you

Anytime he callset him know that things are tough even before he ask you how you are doing

Lastly, don't ever let him know your plans and moves again, hence Fort

Keep him in the dark and start planning now that you have the channel to make money

StPete:


This is a very negative and distasteful advice. OP strictly do not adhere to these words before you use your own mouth to bring yourself bad luck.

Just keep posting your father that you will or better yet, cut him off for a while

frozen70:


So you don't know that people keep telling people things are hard so that you won't ask them of anything

Stay there