IceColdVeins:
Not that bro. I will always be on the side of every loyal woman and will treat them with love as well.
But I have now come to terms with the fact that no one is perfect, especially when it comes to marriage. During my childhood, I never saw things from the perspective OF my dad, we only kept on listening to mom's wailings(she suffered truthfully) but we never get to hear his own side of the story cos
a man never shows emotions. My reconcilation with dad is not a pat on his head for his wrongdoings but a move to make peace within myself.
You'll understand when you have a disagreement with your wife and your own children start taking sides.
I'm just trying a retrace my steps and lay a good foundation for my unborn children.

BLEMOSEDU:

What are you bitching about?
Are you angry that he made peace with his father? So you want him to keep hating his father despite now seeing things clearer? Nawaaa o
@op never listen to any negative opinion, one thing I always tell all boys/men is no matter the relationship you had with your father while growing up, never ever fail to find out why your father acted the way he did, hear him out before passing judgment, no matter what your mother may have told you about him, when you have come of age. Because what goes around definitely comes around.

Fountainofyouth:
Good for you Op, next thing to do is ask your Dad why he was heartless to your mum, try and confirm what your mother told you about him, and if she has been saying the truth, tell him to go and apologize to her in front of you and your siblings, if he shows no remorse or is still trying to prove right after all your mother has done, he deserves ONLY forgiveness, nothing else, I dey hate nonsense, no one should give excuse or tolerate a deadbeat dad when he's not dead.

BRATISLAVA:


So now that you heard his side it has justified the cruel treatment to your mother that you said made her to suffer? What do your unborn children have to do with his unkindness to your mother?. Problem is that many men do evil to their wives not knowing that the people who will never forgive them are the children. The way your unborn children will have nothing to do with this is if you treat your future wife well. I have no pity for men who do evil and get abandoned by their kids. This is why abuse in any form is foolishness, because it is the children who will suffer it not even the spouse you want to hurt. His side means nothing. The oppressors do not need sympathy except from fellow oppressors. And yes, it will be taken as a pat on the back. Loyal or disloyal, nobody deserves to be abused . Just divorce. Don't torture yourself and kids.

kallmemrB:
That's nice.... Some parents don't deserve any relationship with them.. Just forgive and move on


Even deadbeat fathers have levels ... Some are just total deadbeat that won't have an iota of care for the children left behind.... The Op is healing for himself not his family or mother... Am sure there will still be some resentment... Just 6yrs ain't much.. Imagine if he's gone for 20-30yrs.pls what relationship is there to build. There's no way he will fit into ur life

Fountainofyouth:
Good for you Op, next thing to do is ask your Dad why he was heartless to your mum, try and confirm what your mother told you about him, and if she has been saying the truth, tell him to go and apologize to her in front of you and your siblings, if he shows no remorse or is still trying to prove right after all your mother has done, he deserves ONLY forgiveness, nothing else, I dey hate nonsense, no one should give excuse or tolerate a deadbeat dad when he's not dead.

BRATISLAVA:
bro, this is a true problem. We have to do better, but look at how everyone is supporting the negligent father. It's like it is a right to do anything you wish to because you are a father and everyone will suffer, but they must respect you and come lick your ass or they will suffer same fate not realizing they are simply continuing the cycle of infallibility of fathers by apologizing even when the men are clearly wrong.

BRATISLAVA:
bro, this is exactly what I'm saying. They are just forgiving not because there is anything to forgive, but because they are now men(probably doing same thing) and he was a dad. Not for anything sensible.

kallmemrB:
only a very uselesss person would ignore his kids due to any uselesss reasons.. Dont bother trying to correct him.. There lots of neglecting dads here... Lots of them that would eventually become deadbeat are here

Parenting 101 never ever leave ur kids life

IceColdVeins:
Dont mind him, you need to see how fast he types, spends time on whatsapp and facebook more than an average adolescent

kallmemrB:
you said the real truth.. Am a guy but some people are just ungrateful

Belafonte:
A woman on this thread is saying today's men are foolish, another said they are spineless, and they are saying this with disdain and contempt. What they have failed to remember is that today's men were chiefly raised by here mothers, at least, going by this thread.

If today's men are foolish and spineless, the blame should go to the mothers, the same ones who have had the most influence on their lives

JONNYSPUTE:
.. I don't think the people that ve contrary opinion with yours are supporting the said father. The truth about it is that is a wonderful development that he is reconciling with his dad no matter the wrong he has committed. But what I will not be a party to is if by him doing so,brings pain to his mother.We cannot erase the fact that most women/men try to manipulate their children in believing that one of them is bad and the reason for a breakup.Like in that thread,I followed it up and even had to comment about how one of my friend burst into tears after realising whole truth of what the father passed through after the breakup he had with his mother.I think it's a good thing he wants to hear the father's own side.Afterall,he is still the father.

blank:
I'm just wondering. How will the expensive gifts you want to buy for him make up for the parental neglect you suffered from him? He had a disagreement with your mom and decided to take it out on the kids by not providing for them. Sounds like a douchebag. But what do I know?

LadySarah:
King Tonto comes to mind .The way her son will run to his father later might kill her.

Women Shine your eyes well.slaving while the sperm donor is somewhere enjoying.

BRATISLAVA:
so this justifies the abuse, negligence and everything that happened in the past? This is the problem with the thread.

Ryan03:
nobody is bitter that he is reconciling with his dad (I can only speak for my self tho) but him forgiving his dad doesn't mean everyone should, I can forgive tho but can't do such reconciliation. Everybody papa different, some people are just sounding like you must forgive him because even him didn't have it easy. Like what da heck? What if my mum abandoned us the way he did? Where would I have been today?

BRATISLAVA:
bro, this is a true problem. We have to do better, but look at how everyone is supporting the negligent father. It's like it is a right to do anything you wish to because you are a father and everyone will suffer, but they must respect you and come lick your ass or they will suffer same fate not realizing they are simply continuing the cycle of infallibility of fathers by apologizing even when the men are clearly wrong.

JONNYSPUTE:
..So what you expect him to do?. Forget about him totally for life?

JONNYSPUTE:
..So what you expect him to do?. Forget about him totally for life?

dominique:
Deadbeat dads will be dancing with joy on seeing this thread. Now they can continue being irresponsible because the kids they never cared for will grow up one day and reward them with gifts.

Your dad abandoned your mum to singlehandedly raise you but somehow it's your mum's fault and his irresponsible act is justified. If I were your mum, I'll curse you and disown you for life. The moment you go and build a relationship with a man that never cared about your existence while you were growing, you become dead to me.

BRATISLAVA:
so this justifies the abuse, negligence and everything that happened in the past? This is the problem with the thread. Treat your wife right and your children will respect you. Homes were built for mutual respect and love. Not I'm the father, I do what I want.

Jewessgratitude:



Hope you too are not like that. Just asking o. I mean no sacarsm.

Martinez39:
They are just pained that a son has reconciled with his father. During parental alienation, women will, without fail, condition the kids to think that their fathers are bad and they will even exaggerate. Am I saying that there are no bad fathers? Of course not but majority of children in divided homes who are staying with the mother have been conditioned to erroneously see their father in bad light. Children, both male and female, must give their fathers the benefit of doubt. The females here are angry because they are the type that will engage in such subtle brainwashing of their kids and parental alienation all for the cheap game of power dynamics or to avenge their hurt during a disagreement with their spouse.

To see themselves losing a pawn in such game and the fact that people are beginning to wake up and give their fathers the benefit of doubt does not go down well with them.

KanuSE:


Lol , don't mind BRATISLAVA he/she needs a good treat.

iammiracle1:
Lol, OP I know you are only seeking for a part in your fathers wealth, its OK to want a share in his inheritance, because why work hard and hustle when you can get some quick cheese BUT never ever ever you bad mouth your mum OR allow her hear that all of a sudden because of lust for your fathers money you now see her as a villain, you may think that upon all her ranting your fathers still did well but I bet you if you break your mums heart even the heavens would curse you and that inheritance you won't see, personal success nko no way, make up with your dad and let go of the hurt, NEVER try to justify his actions and throw your mum under the bus, any man that can forget his kids despite whatever the mother has done has terrible evil diabolical issues, it may take more years but your dads true color would still show and the truth would be revealed.

Heaven is watching you, forgive your dad, cherish your mum, don't be unfortunate.

KanuSE:


If you can at least try and put emotions aside for once & learn about the events that led to the said abandonment, maybe there's something to learn - just maybe.

dominique:
Deadbeat dads will be dancing with joy on seeing this thread. Now they can continue being irresponsible because the kids they never cared for will grow up one day and reward them with gifts.

Your dad abandoned your mum to singlehandedly raise you but somehow it's your mum's fault and his irresponsible act is justified. If I were your mum, I'll curse you and disown you for life. The moment you go and build a relationship with a man that never cared about your existence while you were growing, you become dead to me.

BRATISLAVA:
so this justifies the abuse, negligence and everything that happened in the past? This is the problem with the thread. Treat your wife right and your children will respect you. Homes were built for mutual respect and love. Not I'm the father, I do what I want.