₦airaland Forum

ambivert27:
As a lady, I will tell you that this babe loved you already, could be that she's trying to test your patience level.

I bet you the reason she would give after trying to find out why she's been saying "no" is non-existence.

which one be testing patience now. if the guy lose interest now and marry another lady, she will start cry indoor for her stupidity and blaming the guy for what he doesn't do.

it high time you ladies stop all these nonsense you always do. love can be patience but it's not stupid,but some people stupid themselves in love.

that is OP Situation now because how will a lady reject you twice and still planning on third time to propose again, that some kind of fvckery Mumuness.

You be original dumbass is not an abuse, is just that you are what i describe you.

HARDDON:
Wow to the frustration, waste and pains average guys go through.
Baffles my brain.



This is really very painful.

You are in the super friendzone and a gate guy can't wake up one morning and wants to be man of the house. It irritates the lady of the house.
Forget the flaunting... You are nothing but a bestie.

There is no Sexual attraction and she can't see herself submitting to a YES man.

I know there are a lot you didn't expressly state here. But I know, I just know.

Solution?
Breaking forth from this shackle is no mean feat. But it's not undoable.

You have to do the opposite of all that you have been doing! Starting with Ditching that wack idea of proposing again! Is there any different thing you want to say that she hasn't heard and turned down before?
Oh sure, you can of course buy her attention by swinging the bribe line of travelling, the way average guys do. But he who brings ant infested log to the homestead, must never complain when visited by lizards.


Grow some balls and Start ignoring. Cut chats, calls, visits and all.

Apply their principle on them:

Has a gurl asked to buy her something and you refused b4? How did she react?

Good, that is how u shld react now. You can't let her play with your emotions and you swallow it like a dunce.

henceforth, if she has the guts to shake the table, you take it a notch up by breaking it.
This is your only way forward. If she is really worth it.


On a final note,
How can you value sand when it is always available?


SENSE PILL:
Ladies Love Balls.

We'll guy, I appreciate your contributions but only the man that wears the shoes knows exactly where it aches!

As for my stand on sexual purity, I don't think that's her reason of rejecting my proposals twice cos I didn't take that decision because of her. It been a long time stand of mine that only GOD himself can make me compromise. Believe me, I'm not an ugly person. There's no month that passes without one or two ladies wooing me in their own ways. But I won't react negatively if I find out that I'm not sexually attracted to her. After all, it's not every lady that appeals to me either.

Like I mentioned previously, I'm gonna move on without her but I'm sorry man, that's not until I've tried just one more time. It might sound foolish but I know what I want.

J111333:
If you have a trusted girlfriend before traveling abroad, I suggest you hold her tight in whatever way you can.
A lot of us made that mistake of not doing so and we are still paying for that.

Ehhmmm I said trusted, don't forget that.

That's my dilemma!! I don't want to have anything to do with white ladies. As for the girl in question, I've proved it beyond reasonable doubt that she can be trusted with anything I leave in her custody.

Spiritfun:
Your advice has sunk into my mind and I appreciate that. Let me state that our relationship has been pure platonic and I don't intend to do otherwise with her or any other fellow till the dowry is paid. That is my personal principle and I'm sticking to it 100%. I've really invested a lot of my mental, emotional, strategic resources on this girl so much that it hurts to see her go.

She's not financially demanding and I've not spent up to 20k on her since we started simply because she won't let me spend on her even when I'm willing to. Most times, she asks for loans and I give her but she will always pay back on time even when I am not ready to accept the money from her.

With your advice, I'll conceal my intention of traveling until the last proposal. Thanks

I thank God for your life. It's not easy to be celibate at a time like this. You're indeed a real man.

Please have a deep conversation with her. If she loves you enough she ought to be free with you in letting you know what is it that's holding her back from accepting your marriage proposal.

Could it be health related, spiritual, family issues, or a vow she made in the past? Look her deep in the eyes and tell her to be free with you and tell you the truth why she's been turning you down.

And you can actually pray that God reveals whatever it is to you, and trust Him to do exactly that.

I really pray the expectations of your heart shall not be cut short.

luvyaself95:
You be original dumbass
is not an abuse, is just that you are what i describe you.

You have absolute right to your choice of diction but being conscious of how others feel in their usage is maturity.

The height of every man's wisdom is tested in their foolishness. You may call me whatever you want but you have no clue about my dilemma till you're stuck in my shoes

extremelygolden:
I thank God for your life. It's not easy to be celibate at a time like this. You're indeed a real man.

Please have a deep conversation with her. If she loves you enough she ought to be free with you in letting you know what is it that's holding her back from accepting your marriage proposal.

Could it be health related, spiritual, family issues, or a vow she made in the past? Look her deep in the eyes and tell her to be free with you and tell you the truth why she's been turning you down.

And you can actually pray that God reveals whatever it is to you, and trust Him to do exactly that.

I really pray the expectations of your heart shall not be cut short.

Few of your type in this forum is the reason some of us still hang around for advice. I pray you meet your heart desires too.

Spiritfun:
Few of your type in this forum is the reason some of us still hang around for advice. I pray you meet your heart desires too.

Amen in Jesus Name. Thank you Sir.

Spiritfun:
You have absolute right to your choice of diction but being conscious of how others feel in their usage is maturity.

The height of every man's wisdom is tested in their foolishness. You may call me whatever you want but you have no clue about my dilemma till you're stuck in my shoes

I really do understand your situation man.the lady has the qualities you want in woman, yes and you think she is irreplaceable, look man everyone is replaceable except
God and family. any other other people has expired date.
and someone can't say he/she don't want to lose person and be behaving the way your lady does.
mind you never tell her about your plans to abroad.

Spiritfun:
That's my dilemma!! I don't want to have anything to do with white ladies. As for the girl in question, I've proved it beyond reasonable doubt that she can be trusted with anything I leave in her custody.

Why do you think so little of yourself, you have proposed to someone twice and she NO and you’re even thinking of doing it again. What makes you think you can’t find a better girl with more wifey qualities than her? I believe you have been friend zone and there is nothing worse than that my friend. My advice don’t propose to her again but keep your friendship the way it is if she finds you worthy in the future she will give you green light. That way if you’re not in a relationship
And still want her you can go ahead. As a man you need a little EGO that saves you from childishness and women who think their shit don’t stink

Macsjebs:
Exactly!, there may be reasons she turned down ur proposals, perhaps she is betrothed to someone or something, so u telling her makes it difficult for her to give honest answers.
Pls don't tell her, propose to her and even if she says no, politely ask y, if it's something u two can discuss and iron out, and if she says yes, then congrats bro, u could as well ask y she turned down previous proposals.
Cheers

I wish she could open up to Op so together they can solve whatever issue it is.

Spiritfun:
That's my dilemma!! I don't want to have anything to do with white ladies. As for the girl in question, I've proved it beyond reasonable doubt that she can be trusted with anything I leave in her custody.

Then go ahead with your plans of engaging her else you'll keep traveling back home every year in search of wife.

As for the bolded, we will see when you get there.

Spiritfun:
I met this beautiful girl sometimes two years ago. She's intelligent, smart and well mannered. I professed my love for her some two months into our friendship but she outrightly said NO.

I decided not to give up on her but to show her more love and care. As days went by, our friendship grew stronger, my love for her grew as well. Our life's goals are so similar that I find it very difficult to let her go.

I made sure I took the center stage in her life by doing everything necessary to help her build her dreams and its working perfectly.

I started showing her off on my social media handles just to test her reaction but contrary to my expectations, she loved it. I was proud that somehow I have perforated her defences.

Along the line, she started professing love to me too and that was the best moment of my emotional life. Then I decided to propose to her again but alas, she said NO and I was very sad and frustrated and she noticed it. At that point, I decided to give up on her and focus on other goals in life. She pleaded with me not to let our friendship die because she's afraid of losing me. I didn't bother to ask her for explanation on why I should still remain her friend without knowing where it will lead to in the end. I didn't also bother to ask her reasons for turning me down two times. I just agreed to her plea and ended the conversation.

I tactically started avoiding her to enable me heal but she would complain and plead with me to keep the friendship. I sucumbed because this girl has almost all the qualities I need in a wife and because of my standard, it's really difficult for me to find someone else that matches my preferences.

I know almost all her secrets and she knows mine too except my plans to travel abroad, preferably Canada. I made sure I did not let her know about this for some reasons.

Then, I found myself being obsessed with her again and she's been all over me too.

Now the crux of the matter is that I have perfected my plans to travel on or before February next year and I want to give her the last chance and propose to her again. I've conditioned my mind to accept whatever response she will give me and move on with or without her.

My major problem is whether to tell her about my travel plans before I propose to her or vice-versa. I know she also nurses the dream of living abroad. I'm afraid she might accept my proposal if I let her know about my Canada plans if I let her know about it before proposing to her.

Kindly advise me on this please cos I don't want to make any mistakes. I LOVE THIS GIRL and I'm certain that will make a good wife for me.

isn't there something you are forgetting to let us know?... is she already dating someone else? , if you don't know up till now, then ask her, don't even propose again, just invite her to somewhere cool and ask her to tell you why she's refused ur proposals, and still wanna be with you "as friends ", you might find out some facts for your self that will make you to re-propose or abort mission....

let it not be that local man is here fantasizing about "ur future wife" and she's "all over her bestie"..... hold ur travelling plan to itself first

J111333:
Then go ahead with your plans of engaging her else you'll keep traveling back home every year in search of wife.

As for the bolded, we will see when you get there.

LOL. I know what u mean but let's just say I'm too principled. But if nature has destined a white girl for me, there's nothing I can do about it

theTransporter:
isn't there something you are forgetting to let us know?... is she already dating someone else? , if you don't know up till now, then ask her, don't even propose again, just invite her to somewhere cool and ask her to tell you why she's refused ur proposals, and still wanna be with you "as friends ", you might find out some facts for your self that will make you to re-propose or abort mission....

let it not be that local man is here fantasizing about "ur future wife" and she's "all over her bestie"..... hold ur travelling plan to itself first

As much as I know, she tells me whenever any man make advances towards her. She always sends me screen shots of their chats. I may be wrong but I don't think she's with anyone

Spiritfun:
LOL. I know what u mean but let's just say I'm too principled. But if nature has destined a white girl for me, there's nothing I can do about it

We will see how far the principle will go. Well I traveled as a completely single dude unlike you with a baggage.
I briefly dated a white, latino, black, Asian and middle Eastern on a tour (all those were on purpose though) but family pressure insisted on Naija marriage and for a long time, there was no mountain and there was no Mohammed.
Right now, village pipu are begging for even oyibo wife and I'm glad they are playing my cards now.

J111333:
We will see how far the principle will go. Well I traveled as a completely single dude unlike you with a baggage.
I briefly dated a white, latino, black, Asian and middle Eastern on a tour (all those were on purpose though) but family pressure insisted on Naija marriage and for a long time, there was no rock and there was no Mohammed.
Right now, village pipu are begging for even oyibo wife and I'm glad they are playing my cards now.

Only you? Lol[b][/b]

HARDDON:
Wow to the frustration, waste and pains average guys go through.
Baffles my brain.



This is really very painful.

You are in the super friendzone and a gate guy can't wake up one morning and wants to be man of the house. It irritates the lady of the house.
Forget the flaunting... You are nothing but a bestie.

There is no Sexual attraction and she can't see herself submitting to a YES man.

I know there are a lot you didn't expressly state here. But I know, I just know.

Solution?
Breaking forth from this shackle is no mean feat. But it's not undoable.

You have to do the opposite of all that you have been doing! Starting with Ditching that wack idea of proposing again! Is there any different thing you want to say that she hasn't heard and turned down before?
Oh sure, you can of course buy her attention by swinging the bribe line of travelling, the way average guys do. But he who brings ant infested log to the homestead, must never complain when visited by lizards.


Grow some balls and Start ignoring. Cut chats, calls, visits and all.

Apply their principle on them:

Has a gurl asked to buy her something and you refused b4? How did she react?

Good, that is how u shld react now. You can't let her play with your emotions and you swallow it like a dunce.

henceforth, if she has the guts to shake the table, you take it a notch up by breaking it.
This is your only way forward. If she is really worth it.


On a final note,
How can you value sand when it is always available?


SENSE PILL:
Ladies Love Balls.

half way onto this quote I decided to pause and check the moniker that possess this great wisdom. I wasn't surprised it was Haddon

Spiritfun:
Only you? Lol[b][/b]

Oh yes, every young man needs to have first hand experience. Everything can't be read in books or on nairaland.
I remember how my mum's younger brother gave me some pocket money while at College and gave me two sets of bundles.
He said one was my pocket money and the other was to maintain my girlfriend. My mum nearly fought him but he said it was a necessity for every young man.

Spiritfun:
but I'm sorry man, that's not until I've tried just one more time. It might sound foolish but I know what I want.

Smh @ emphasized.

Knowing what you want is one thing.

Knowing how to Get what you want is another.

Don't get it twisted.


I know, against all odds and advise, you will mos def take the cheap way out and buy her YES finally.

Just be ready to keep buying her YES all your life.

It wouldn't change your robe; You'd always be a bestie.

And when the real deal comes, she wudnt even remember who you are. Wedding band or not.

don't tell... u myt end up being with an opportunist as u fear!
Ask her why she has always refused you
Propose again! (she says "no"... cut of from her)
Travel ur Travel in peace (it would help alot in your healing process and I feel u'd find som1 who would match up with your high standards)

There's really no advice to give the op. He has already made up his mind yet he opened a thread asking for advice

This is the definition of the girl playing a man and the man still doesn't realise it. There are girls like that. They just like to have you around but they do not consider you for something serious as marriage unless time is no longer on their side. They would start crying foul when you decide to leave them. You would see this act of deception as something nice and be motivated to stay. In fact you'll double the efforts you have been putting in the friendship. Many guys have been dealt with this way.


Harddon has said it all but as usual you would do what you feel is best.

You are obviously going to make a mistake because you are already very anxious to get a positive response and would do all it takes to convince her.

I can already picture how awkward your third proposal would be. Almost confrontational.

Don't worry, we'll be waiting for the next thread in 2020.
Wish you all the best bro.

A girl hardly rejects a proposal,if she does it means its not you she wants and is just keeping you on d list of choices she has.....
Ild advice u either do it for the last time but be dam sure she will still say no...den travel and tell her ur abroad uld b shocked she will b d one asking u to come and see her plp cause by den her eye go open.....if u end up marrying her b sure u wont b happy cause she doesnt love u she only loves d opportunities that comes with you....
Of she rejects for the last time sit her down and ask her wat really d problem is..if she still beats around d Bush just walk away...
As for the lady up dere talking about 'testing patience'pls speak for u and confused set not all of are that confused and childish.

Baba, no fall for that gimmick o! Don't even inform her. Just propose the last time, if she declines this time, baba, japa!

I don't want to sound self righteous, but the truth is that, some girls are opportunists, and are looking for the next hook to transport them out of misery. It doesn't matter if she's demanding or not. No one wants to live a mediocre life. I believe you've gotten enough advice, just thread carefully.

it is either the girl doesn't fancy you enough or she have other prospective suitor,that you're yet to find out, every girl is hoping and praying for that guy that can sweep her off her feet, I wonder why these your so call sweet heart is still adamant and cold towards your initial proposal, if your cool enough for her in the first place? if I happen to be in your shoe,I won't try to propose to her again,not until she literally begs for it through her actions an inaction, trust me whenever a girl like you for marriage your instinct must tell you, mind you some girl's keep different guy's in their life for their selfish different reasons, you should have known the side you belong,before going ahead in your proposal, please in whatever you're doing with these girl, don't try to buy her over with your story of travelling out soonest.........

I wish you goodluck.

Spiritfun:
I met this beautiful girl sometimes two years ago. She's intelligent, smart and well mannered. I professed my love for her some two months into our friendship but she outrightly said NO.

I decided not to give up on her but to show her more love and care. As days went by, our friendship grew stronger, my love for her grew as well. Our life's goals are so similar that I find it very difficult to let her go.

I made sure I took the center stage in her life by doing everything necessary to help her build her dreams and its working perfectly.

I started showing her off on my social media handles just to test her reaction but contrary to my expectations, she loved it. I was proud that somehow I have perforated her defences.

Along the line, she started professing love to me too and that was the best moment of my emotional life. Then I decided to propose to her again but alas, she said NO and I was very sad and frustrated and she noticed it. At that point, I decided to give up on her and focus on other goals in life. She pleaded with me not to let our friendship die because she's afraid of losing me. I didn't bother to ask her for explanation on why I should still remain her friend without knowing where it will lead to in the end. I didn't also bother to ask her reasons for turning me down two times. I just agreed to her plea and ended the conversation.

I tactically started avoiding her to enable me heal but she would complain and plead with me to keep the friendship. I sucumbed because this girl has almost all the qualities I need in a wife and because of my standard, it's really difficult for me to find someone else that matches my preferences.

I know almost all her secrets and she knows mine too except my plans to travel abroad, preferably Canada. I made sure I did not let her know about this for some reasons.

Then, I found myself being obsessed with her again and she's been all over me too.

Now the crux of the matter is that I have perfected my plans to travel on or before February next year and I want to give her the last chance and propose to her again. I've conditioned my mind to accept whatever response she will give me and move on with or without her.

My major problem is whether to tell her about my travel plans before I propose to her or vice-versa. I know she also nurses the dream of living abroad. I'm afraid she might accept my proposal if I let her know about my Canada plans if I let her know about it before proposing to her.

Kindly advise me on this please cos I don't want to make any mistakes. I LOVE THIS GIRL and I'm certain that will make a good wife for me.

pls OP how much did it cost you to travel to Canada... me self wan leg but I need to know how much it is going to cost me

You are plan B, plan A is not ready yet or she hasn't found him. Note, you can be the only guy in her life and still be plan B.

AwkaetitiBabe:
She'll definitely say yes once she knows you traveling abroad. I may b wrong sha

Nope! You aren't wrong at all. It's just as obvious as the eyes can see.

Spiritfun:
I met this beautiful girl sometimes two years ago. She's intelligent, smart and well mannered. I professed my love for her some two months into our friendship but she outrightly said NO.

I decided not to give up on her but to show her more love and care. As days went by, our friendship grew stronger, my love for her grew as well. Our life's goals are so similar that I find it very difficult to let her go.

I made sure I took the center stage in her life by doing everything necessary to help her build her dreams and its working perfectly.

I started showing her off on my social media handles just to test her reaction but contrary to my expectations, she loved it. I was proud that somehow I have perforated her defences.

Along the line, she started professing love to me too and that was the best moment of my emotional life. Then I decided to propose to her again but alas, she said NO and I was very sad and frustrated and she noticed it. At that point, I decided to give up on her and focus on other goals in life. She pleaded with me not to let our friendship die because she's afraid of losing me. I didn't bother to ask her for explanation on why I should still remain her friend without knowing where it will lead to in the end. I didn't also bother to ask her reasons for turning me down two times. I just agreed to her plea and ended the conversation.

I tactically started avoiding her to enable me heal but she would complain and plead with me to keep the friendship. I sucumbed because this girl has almost all the qualities I need in a wife and because of my standard, it's really difficult for me to find someone else that matches my preferences.

I know almost all her secrets and she knows mine too except my plans to travel abroad, preferably Canada. I made sure I did not let her know about this for some reasons.

Then, I found myself being obsessed with her again and she's been all over me too.

Now the crux of the matter is that I have perfected my plans to travel on or before February next year and I want to give her the last chance and propose to her again. I've conditioned my mind to accept whatever response she will give me and move on with or without her.

My major problem is whether to tell her about my travel plans before I propose to her or vice-versa. I know she also nurses the dream of living abroad. I'm afraid she might accept my proposal if I let her know about my Canada plans if I let her know about it before proposing to her.

Kindly advise me on this please cos I don't want to make any mistakes. I LOVE THIS GIRL and I'm certain that will make a good wife for me.

love is an action word not an expression of love..she loves u but u played d wrong card..smart, intelligent girls play hard to get game cos they love being chased and they think if they reciprocate same love u will love/chase them less..
U don't need to propose or profess any love to her again..u only need to claim what u've.Treat her as if she had said yes..Anytime u're with her on phone relate with her like yr babe..take her out(eatery/cinema) and be brave to hold or embrace her..Be brave,kiss her forehead or hand with the word "Luv u"anytime ure departing..(bonding code 101)..Give her a nickname that she'll love to answer by only u,don't always forget to end yr phone conversation with 'Love u' with her nickname and don't bother/expect or compel her to do the same..with time she'll ..True love is not done through verbal expression but action..By the time her defence is weak then reveal your travelling plan then she will fall yakata for u..

Spiritfun:
I met this beautiful girl sometimes two years ago. She's intelligent, smart and well mannered. I professed my love for her some two months into our friendship but she outrightly said NO.

I decided not to give up on her but to show her more love and care. As days went by, our friendship grew stronger, my love for her grew as well. Our life's goals are so similar that I find it very difficult to let her go.

I made sure I took the center stage in her life by doing everything necessary to help her build her dreams and its working perfectly.

I started showing her off on my social media handles just to test her reaction but contrary to my expectations, she loved it. I was proud that somehow I have perforated her defences.

Along the line, she started professing love to me too and that was the best moment of my emotional life. Then I decided to propose to her again but alas, she said NO and I was very sad and frustrated and she noticed it. At that point, I decided to give up on her and focus on other goals in life. She pleaded with me not to let our friendship die because she's afraid of losing me. I didn't bother to ask her for explanation on why I should still remain her friend without knowing where it will lead to in the end. I didn't also bother to ask her reasons for turning me down two times. I just agreed to her plea and ended the conversation.

I tactically started avoiding her to enable me heal but she would complain and plead with me to keep the friendship. I sucumbed because this girl has almost all the qualities I need in a wife and because of my standard, it's really difficult for me to find someone else that matches my preferences.

I know almost all her secrets and she knows mine too except my plans to travel abroad, preferably Canada. I made sure I did not let her know about this for some reasons.

Then, I found myself being obsessed with her again and she's been all over me too.

Now the crux of the matter is that I have perfected my plans to travel on or before February next year and I want to give her the last chance and propose to her again. I've conditioned my mind to accept whatever response she will give me and move on with or without her.

My major problem is whether to tell her about my travel plans before I propose to her or vice-versa. I know she also nurses the dream of living abroad. I'm afraid she might accept my proposal if I let her know about my Canada plans if I let her know about it before proposing to her.

Kindly advise me on this please cos I don't want to make any mistakes. I LOVE THIS GIRL and I'm certain that will make a good wife for me.

Left for me, don't propose to her, let her be

Inform her of your trip few days to your departure, she will query you for not telling her, just let her know that you proposed to her twice and she turned it down so you feel, this is the right time to tell her

Emotionally, she will be affected, but assure her of your love and communication when you get there

Through out the period you will be there, it's either the love grows stronger or fizzle out

If it grows stronger, on your arrival, give her a flower, when you get home, watch her for some days and propose to her, if she rejects it this time, use withdrawal system on her by pulling out without her knowing

In another way, you may get there and meet someone mire better than her and if you feel the person you met there is better off, you will be free to engage that person why because you didn't engage her here before travelling

If she reacts to your proposal to another woman, remind her that she turned you down twice and you have to move on

lord of the ring

Buy your condom here. Tested and trusted. If it did not work well, you can return the used condom and your money will be refunded to you