Fountainofyouth:



Good advice, but some will still not hear, they'd rather marry anything in order to answer "Mrs" like there is an everlasting award attached to it.

That is the reason you have not marry yet. Time will tell

midnighter:


It's not wrong but its still inconsiderate. The children of their only son? You say you carried them to where without saying anything? Ha.

Out of politeness and knowing that your SIL are not sure of you, why not just out of courtesy inform them to avoid palaver later? That would at least earn you some brownie points for "respect" especially as they are all older than you.

Personally I think that was a mistake. Even if you are in the right you can still be diplomatic to make people feel that they are being carried along.

They will be seeing it like she is trying to form wise or cunning. It was a mistake o

So you are saying that I agree with my husband to take our child to my mum's place. Then I should call my SILs to tell them too. Why?

If my SILs are not sure of me, it's really not my problem. As long as my husband is sure of me, that's what matters. It is not right to let third parties know of your every decision taken at home especially if they are not part of what you are planning.

That is a sure way for a marriage to be strained...to run everything by inlaws.

phemy36:

But he send one of his sister packing when the wife complain about her

After staying five whole years...half of a decade.

It's not easy to marry an only-boy in the midst of plenty sisters...... If you are a lady, pray not to have bad sisters-inlaw!!!!!!
For the records, I am married.....

ImaIma1:


Tonye would you advise your dad to take care of his sisters above your mother?

I don't think you get the picture.

Did the OP tell you that her hubby abandoned her to be taking care of his sisters?

This is the problem with some of you. You just want a man to abandon his family and focus on only you...

BTW my Dad/Mom showed care to his mother (he had no sister and is the only child of his mother). But lemme tell you, my mother was loved by her MIL and she loved her in return. My mother had a loving mother but she always say she preferred her MIL to her own biological mother. My mother even loved her MIL more than her own husband, and my grandmother loved my mother more than her own son. During their young marriage, they(my parents) had issues and my grandmother used police to arrest her own son, my father. In fact, my mother was at the bedside of her MIL up till her demise. My mom is not the "grab it all woman" and my father is not the kind that abandons his family. So you see they all blend!

Same love Momsy is transferring to her own DILs and SILs.

ImaIma1:


So you are saying that I agree with my husband to take our child to my mum's place. Then I should call my SILs to tell them too. Why?

If my SILs are not sure of me, it's really not my problem. As long as my husband is sure of me, that's what matters. It is not right to let third parties know of your every decision taken at home especially if they are not part of what you are planning.

That is a sure way for a marriage to be strained...to run everything by inlaws.

Its not right to tell your in-laws that you left the person carrying the family name in a location other than your house

I didnt say you should "run the decision by them". I said you should inform them where their ward is out of courtesy. If they dont agree with it then thats their problem, you are just telling them and not asking for their permission.

And you dont need to go announcing it to all of them. Just the eldest one would suffice or if you think she would lie later, you tell your husband to let her know.

If she actually went and dropped her husbands child off with her mother without a word then she should blame herself for whatever comes out of it because its quite rude of her.

So your SIL shows up and says "where is baby" and you say "I dropped him off with my mum 6 months ago"? How manage

queenitee:

I have been reading your replies all along and shaking my head. You have no idea on nothing and you remind me of a post I saw yesterday, “Before you argue with someone, ask yourself is that person is mentally stable enough to grasp the concept of different perspectives, because if not, there’s absolutely no point.” That post is for you, you simply can’t grab the concept of different perspectives.

Besides, are you sure everything is actually well with your own marriage? Instead of asking if people are married or if everything is well with their marriage, the question is for you. You are not ready to give the Op the benefit of doubt and like you judge people from their replies I should be able to judge your marriage also. Are you sure your wife isn’t trying to separate you from your family also? Since that’s basically all women do? And I hope you seek consent from your family before having s*x with your wife since they have been your adviser since you were a baby? See the Bible even said “a man shall leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife,” that also goes for the wife. If humans are wrong, is the Bible equally wrong?. Though I’m not saying either party’s family has to totally leave their family cos family is everything yet they have to leave such that their input becomes secondary and you and your wife has to decide if to follow their input or not. Their input becomes minimal when you get married because you are about creating your own family also. Even what works in the family you came from might not work in the family you are trying to create for yourself, they are not the rulers of your home. After you, your wife should be the one who can take decisions about your home after you, not your family. The same way you don’t want your wife running to her family for any small thing or advise is the same way you should be sure to make sure yours also has a limit to the way they interfere in your marriage. Or is it that your wife do not have a family or her family has not been for there for her? Marriage isn’t for the husband alone, it’s equally for the wife. Marriage is between two people and not just a person or three or more people but just “two individuals.” Any other person’s input is minimal and should be discussed by the two people involved in the marriage before it is been act upon.

Yes, the op might be lying but why don’t we give people the benefit of doubt? Do you think people can’t hate others without reason? So what if her husband’s family didn’t like her even while he was dating her maybe because of her job or fashion sender or anything? Do I need to tell you they would do all they can to frustrate her so she can leave their brother. Yes I agree it’s her job to make them like her but then it doesn’t come easy like that and while at it, she should not forget to respect herself. And Mr a man needs to respect his wife, when you respect your wife, your family will. You need to respect your wife, the way you place your wife is the way your family will equally place her.

Uncle Please learn to grasp the concept to different perspectives, you are not always right and again being able to see things in different perspectives will open your eyes to different opportunities and that way you would grow.

Good morning

That guy is not married. Don't disturb yourself.
Most of the guys here are single and some are below 20 yrs.
Let them make the money first, then marry.
After 2 yrs, we can have reasonable debate with them.based on experience

Pataricatering:
Can u ask a man to be begging his in-laws like a wretched person ? U people always think women are subhuman ! They come into her house and give her no peace yet she is still supposed to be begging them ? I don’t blame them - it’s her I blame - u start begging useless never do well hags for no reason then u must continue begging them ! Can never be me !

Are you staying with them. Don't complicate their issue because she did not mention what you put up here in her her write up

TonyeBarcanista:

In this case in question, the woman isn't the one feeding the man. The woman is the one having problem with the man caring for his siblings.

Every situation comes with its own merit

You obviously didn't read to understand but to reply. Will leave you to your opinion then. Sometimes, we need life to teach us first hand before we understand some things. Shalom!

sassysure:

That guy is not married. Don't disturb yourself.
Most of the guys here are single and some are below 20 yrs.
Let them make the money first, then marry.
After 2 yrs, we can have reasonable debate with them.based on experience

Oh, okay. But chronological age and Maturity age does not go hand in hand. I’m not married myself. It’s just this issue is one of the basic things one must understand before marriage. It’s not about the age, one needs to attain certain emotional intelligence level before getting married.

It is not every man that should know how toto looks like.

Weak man .

ImaIma1:


Sorry that's not how we run our family. Besides, everything my husband buys is in my name (this detail will pain you guys here cheesy). That's something he got from his father. It was his own way of protecting his wife(my husband's mum) from "scavengers".

Thankfully I married one of the rare ones. That's why the guys here crack me up with their archaic thinking and ideologies.

I think u are a very wicked person. I can Neva marry a girl like u because ur are greedy and selfish. abeg get lost

TonyeBarcanista:

Your problem is your cut and join opinion.

1. Congrats on your marriage
2. Did the OP tell you that her SILs go to their brother's house without calling? Even as I am, I can't go to my siblings place, married or unmarried, without calling.
3. Every sibling is a guest in their brother's house, whether he is married or not. The problem with some of you is that you don't want in-laws around at all
4. You wives are your own competitors. The home is not YOURS, the home belongs to you, your husband and your children. Nobody is dragging it with you. But do note that your in-laws are also of your husband and as such you must never see them as "mere" visitors, else there will be clash.

This however, does not negate thr cordial relationship existing between the man and his siblings.

5. The problem with most wives is that they have problem with husband financially support his family even when it is not detrimental to them and their kids.

If OP respect boundaries and family of her husband she won't have problem

A wife should respect boundaries in her own home?

Did you read the part where she said her sister inlaw lives with them, causing trouble?
Did you read the part where she said her own relatives where barred from coming to her house based on one stupìd tradition?
Did u read where she said her sister inlaw were being disrespectful to her own mother??
I guess u just want to see things from a wife hating point of view.

Just know that the relationship between husband and wife is stronger than that between siblings! My spouse first before my sisters any day!

spyg1:
Do you know how he gets rich? That's one thing you women do forget. i am with my poor elder brother and I know the roles he is playing in my life despite his condition. Don't expect me to do otherwise if I am living well.

Is the problem with how he is spending or jobless wretched sisters fighting the wife. So because your brother assisted you means that they should torment your wife? If you like give him all you have in your life,your own cup of tea. My own is I get my job so na u know wetin u want to do with your money. Leave your biological children sef, start taking care of your brother's children. Adults will be contributing to matters, JAMBIte too is talking. Go and take several seats

E

jakandeola:
I think u are a very wicked person. I can Neva marry a girl like u because ur are greedy and selfish. abeg get lost

You are delusional. Wicked? Why?

As I said...this information will pain some guys

midnighter:


Its not right to tell your in-laws that you left the person carrying the family name in a location other than your house

I didnt say you should "run the decision by them". I said you should inform them where their ward is out of courtesy. If they dont agree with it then thats their problem, you are just telling them and not asking for their permission.

And you dont need to go announcing it to all of them. Just the eldest one would suffice or if you think she would lie later, you tell your husband to let her know.

If she actually went and dropped her husbands child off with her mother without a word then she should blame herself for whatever comes out of it because its quite rude of her.

So your SIL shows up and says "where is baby" and you say "I dropped him off with my mum 6 months ago"? How manage

Their brother can tell them if he feels it is necessary. It is his home, not theirs. What is this "the person carrying their family name" thing? That's just mystifying a simple situation.

As long as the husband and wife agree, all others are unnecessary. If they ask, I can tell them. But I don't answer to them, so I can't inform them.

Marriage is very delicate and having extra people in on your decisions is not advisable. Not even his father, but his sisters.

When my brother's wife takes the kids to her mum's place, she doesn't need to inform any of us. She tells us when we ask. It would be disrespectful of my brother's home for us to challenge his wife. That's how I see it. She's even another tribe and we don't fret. My brother can handle his home. Why would we need to leave our own homes and poke our noses in his'? If he doesn't call us into a matter, we don't interfere.

ImaIma1:


You are delusional. Wicked? Why?

As I said...this information will pain some guys

u are really getting me angry if not DAT I respect u a lot I will insult u. when ur son got a millions tell him not to give u his parents or hus younger ones.let him build 10 house and put his wife name in all d house let Him not put any children name only wife because she has become god.d boss and oga of d house.is wife oga or the hubby?
who did u think u are.as a wife wats so special about u DAT u want to control ur hubby and take over his property. if u say add children name I wont be angry but why ur name if u didnt have a secret plan. women DAT can cheat on hubby or bring barstard baby to d man as his.most women in d rooms support divorce so if I did DAT if she divorce she get all my property? av u not heard of women DAT kill thier hubby. forget DAT talk.

TonyeBarcanista:

Did the OP tell you that her hubby abandoned her to be taking care of his sisters?

This is the problem with some of you. You just want a man to abandon his family and focus on only you...

BTW my Dad/Mom showed care to his mother (he had no sister and is the only child of his mother). But lemme tell you, my mother was loved by her MIL and she loved her in return. My mother had a loving mother but she always say she preferred her MIL to her own biological mother. My mother even loved her MIL more than her own husband, and my grandmother loved my mother more than her own son. During their young marriage, they(my parents) had issues and my grandmother used police to arrest her own son, my father. In fact, my mother was at the bedside of her MIL up till her demise. My mom is not the "grab it all woman" and my father is not the kind that abandons his family. So you see they all blend!

Same love Momsy is transferring to her own DILs and SILs.

That is where you miss it. Is it possible for one to abandon family? Has anyone said that a man should abandon his family?

You just seem to be too biased towards women that it affects your judgement

jakandeola:
u are really getting me angry if not DAT I respect u a lot I will insult u. when ur son got a millions tell him not to give u his parents or hus younger ones.let him build 10 house and put his wife name in all d house let Him not put any children name only wife because she has become god.d boss and oga of d house.is wife oga or the hubby?
who did u think u are.as a wife wats so special about u DAT u want to control ur hubby and take over his property. if u say add children name I wont be angry but why ur name if u didnt have a secret plan. women DAT can cheat on hubby or bring barstard baby to d man as his.most women in d rooms support divorce so if I did DAT if she divorce she get all my property? av u not heard of women DAT kill thier hubby. forget DAT talk.

Sweetheart when my husband buys things for his mum, he puts it in her name. If he is building her a house, it would be in her name. But when he is buying things or building a house for himself, he puts it in my name. His mum understands this because that's what she enjoyed from his dad.

And no...I didn't control him to do it. He got it form his FATHER. If mumsy enjoyed such benefits, would she complain if her son takes after his father?

Stop getting worked up

Sometimes staying on your own is just d best option. I was once in your shoes before i quietly decided that enough is enough. I am the type that can give you my all just the moment you ask for it. But my inlaws started to make it look like i own them dat, i dont really care much about that, fast forward to when i needed their help..i was writing my final pgd exam, pregnant at d same time and kids were on break i pleaded with hubby to take them to d family house that is just 20mins drive from here for me to go and pick them after each exam. When i went to get my kids after exam my mother inlaw told me that she only force herself to stay at home because of my kids i thank her n left with them. The following day i fed and prepare, gave them enough food that will last them for d 3hr i will spend in writing my exam. After exam i rush home to catch some sleep lo and behold my kids were already home, my daughter told me that mama brought them home that today is market, tears drop from my eyes cos my 3kids are just helpless below 6yrs twins and 3yr old brother which were all seated outside waiting for me, i can not lie cos i have a mother that has daughters- inlaw as well. That very moment i decided in my wicked heart never to take my children to her again. Thank God my cousin sister agreed to come look after d kids and even stay extra one month till am done with exam and morning sickness. Its 4months since that incidence mother inlaw is their complaining to her son of not seeing d kids. Is judt me my kids and hubby.,. e

I can see you begging them till your 60s and 70s

TonyeBarcanista:

Did the OP tell you that her hubby abandoned her to be taking care of his sisters?

This is the problem with some of you. You just want a man to abandon his family and focus on only you...

BTW my Dad/Mom showed care to his mother (he had no sister and is the only child of his mother). But lemme tell you, my mother was loved by her MIL and she loved her in return. My mother had a loving mother but she always say she preferred her MIL to her own biological mother. My mother even loved her MIL more than her own husband, and my grandmother loved my mother more than her own son. During their young marriage, they(my parents) had issues and my grandmother used police to arrest her own son, my father. In fact, my mother was at the bedside of her MIL up till her demise. My mom is not the "grab it all woman" and my father is not the kind that abandons his family. So you see they all blend!

Same love Momsy is transferring to her own DILs and SILs.

baba live dem. I wont talk pim for dis matter again.make dem dey run thier mouth. wat goes around goes around. dey are happy collecting property in thier name.dey forget tomoro is pregnant. dey become mum in law tomoro and start crying thier son abandon dem. god forbid I run my marriage like DAT wen d only ting am getting from u as wife is food sex and baby.

ImaIma1:


Their brother can tell them if he feels it is necessary. It is his home, not theirs. What is this "the person carrying their family name" thing? That's just mystifying a simple situation.

As long as the husband and wife agree, all others are unnecessary. If they ask, I can tell them. But I don't answer to them, so I can't inform them.

Marriage is very delicate and having extra people in on your decisions is not advisable. Not even his father, but his sisters.

When my brother's wife takes the kids to her mum's place, she doesn't need to inform any of us. She tells us when we ask. It would be disrespectful of my brother's home for us to challenge his wife. That's how I see it. She's even another tribe and we don't fret. My brother can handle his home. Why would we need to leave our own homes and poke our noses in his'? If he doesn't call us into a matter, we don't interfere.

If you cant acknowledge that a family with an only son may have a different dynamic and concern for his children than one with all boys then I can see why you called being realistic "Mystification". She should have known the kind of family she was marrying into and how they may perceive her actions concerning their heir.

I think the OP said the husbands mother is late. So are you telling me that if the mother were alive, OP wouldnt see it necessary to explain where she dropped her grandchild?

She didnt just take the baby for visit or simple stay, she said it was "while she was schooling". It implied an extended period which means that their circumstances have changed which necessitates some family collaboration.

She doesnt answer to the family who brought her husband up Anyway I can see that neither of us is going to shift ground here, no problem.

midnighter:



If you cant acknowledge that a family with an only son may have a different dynamic and concern for his children than one with all boys then I can see why you called being realistic "Mystification". She should have known the kind of family she was marrying into and how they may perceive her actions concerning their heir.

I think the OP said the husbands mother is late. So are you telling me that if the mother were alive, OP wouldnt see it necessary to explain where she dropped her grandchild?

She didnt just take the baby for visit or simple stay, she said it was "while she was schooling". It implied an extended period which means that their circumstances have changed which necessitates some family collaboration.

She doesnt answer to the family who brought her husband up Anyway I can see that neither of us is going to shift ground here, no problem.

Look...I won't mince words...if the sisters mind their homes, business/career, they won't have time to start seeing what is going on in their brother's house.

My mum is also late...infact both my parents are late and we are 4 girls. But we don't make such unnecessary and absurd demands or try to make our brother's wife run helter skelter to please us.

These sisters are interfering and that's because their brothers have given them a say in his marriage.

ImaIma1:


Look...I won't mince words...if the sisters mind their homes, business/career, they won't have time to start seeing what is going on in their brother's house.

My mum is also late...infact both my parents are late and we are 4 girls. But we don't make such unnecessary and absurd demands or try to make our brother's wife run helter skelter to please us.

These sisters are interfering and that's because their brothers have given them a say in his marriage.

Yes! Exactly. IF they were normal, we wouldnt be having this conversation. But theyre not! The OP should have been more realistic about the kind of people she married.

She should have made it easier for herself instead of claiming right on small small issues that could have been avoided if not for a bit of compromise.

Not everybody is as fulfilled and reasonable as you and your sisters. And since you dont have a brother, you cant say what you would have done if you had one and his children were being moved around without your knowledge.

Thats not to mention that the OP said that the husbands culture forbids mothers of wives from having a say in family affairs. Did you see that part?

midnighter:


Yes! Exactly. IF they were normal, we wouldnt be having this conversation. But theyre not! The OP should have been more realistic about the kind of people she married.

She should have made it easier for herself instead of claiming right on small small issues that could have been avoided if not for a bit of compromise.

Not everybody is as fulfilled and reasonable as you and your sisters. And since you dont have a brother, you cant say what you would have done if you had one and his children were being moved around without your knowledge.

Thats not to mention that the OP said that the husbands culture forbids women from having a say in the upbringing of a child. Did you see that part?

Forget culture. People bring up culture to have their way. Doesn't their culture say they should mind their own families.

If they choose not to be normal, why should someone have to deal with their abnormalities. See ehn! I didn't beg to be married. The man wooed me, asked for my hand in marriage to build a life with him. So no one can treat me like a second class citizen in my husband's house.

I don't take all those excesses. I don't insult people or get into confrontations but my silence is very golden. And I will just put you in your place without fighting you. All this complaining the OP is doing is not effective. She has to take charge of her home.

Don't let anyone put your wife under pressure. She is yours to protect.

YelloweWest:

A wife should respect boundaries in her own home?

The home is not just HER HOME! It is the home of thw Husband, she and their children. Also that the man's siblings are not just roadside visitors, they are also of the man and she must learn to accommodate them.

Did you read the part where she said her sister inlaw lives with them, causing trouble?

I am sure you also read where the husband sent away the troublesome sister?

However, there is NOTHING wrong for sibling to come stay with their brother, whether married or unmarried. I am sure that was only temporary and not permanent as long as they aren't trouble to the household.

Did you read the part where she said her own relatives where barred from coming to her house based on one stupìd tradition?

Why should a pregnant relative come to her husband's house when he is not responsible for the pregnancy? Did she even seek her husband's permission before doing that? Why should my pregnant distant relative carry her pregnancy to my sister's husband's house? That is sacrilegious to both common sense and tradition. (BTW if she wasn't interested in traditions she shouldn't have married traditionally)

Did u read where she said her sister inlaw were being disrespectful to her own mother??
I guess u just want to see things from a wife hating point of view.

Taking her child to her mother is ONLY appropriate IF her husband gave her the permission. She is the one that dragged her mother into the mess.

Just know that the relationship between husband and wife is stronger than that between siblings!

This is arrant nonsense. Wife and siblings are not in any contest, everyone have their place in the man's life.

My spouse first before my sisters any day!

This is you people's problem! Always seeing everything as competition and contest.

That was how my ex was asking me who I love more between she and my sisters...

I told her... Yimu

MumEmdy:
Sometimes staying on your own is just d best option. I was once in your shoes before i quietly decided that enough is enough. I am the type that can give you my all just the moment you ask for it. But my inlaws started to make it look like i own them dat, i dont really care much about that, fast forward to when i needed their help..i was writing my final pgd exam, pregnant at d same time and kids were on break i pleaded with hubby to take them to d family house that is just 20mins drive from here for me to go and pick them after each exam. When i went to get my kids after exam my mother inlaw told me that she only force herself to stay at home because of my kids i thank her n left with them. The following day i fed and prepare, gave them enough food that will last them for d 3hr i will spend in writing my exam. After exam i rush home to catch some sleep lo and behold my kids were already home, my daughter told me that mama brought them home that today is market, tears drop from my eyes cos my 3kids are just helpless below 6yrs twins and 3yr old brother which were all seated outside waiting for me, i can not lie cos i have a mother that has daughters- inlaw as well. That very moment i decided in my wicked heart never to take my children to her again. Thank God my cousin sister agreed to come look after d kids and even stay extra one month till am done with exam and morning sickness. Its 4months since that incidence mother inlaw is their complaining to her son of not seeing d kids. Is judt me my kids and hubby.,. e

Mama Eddy, your own case is well justified as your MIL acted inappropriately towards her grandchildren.

When people married . Family member should leave them alone and allow them to enjoy their life . Same thing nearly happen to me. Withing 7 months of getting married , my wife family came 3 times withing that period , the mom, her elder sister and her siblings . Cant someone even enjoy his privacy? I have to call my wife to order if she wants the marriage to last . My mom that stays close-by only visited once and we have to beg her to even visit . She'll say enjoy your hone with each other .

midnighter:


Yes! Exactly. IF they were normal, we wouldnt be having this conversation. But theyre not! The OP should have been more realistic about the kind of people she married.

She should have made it easier for herself instead of claiming right on small small issues that could have been avoided if not for a bit of compromise.

Not everybody is as fulfilled and reasonable as you and your sisters. And since you dont have a brother, you cant say what you would have done if you had one and his children were being moved around without your knowledge.

Thats not to mention that the OP said that the husbands culture forbids mothers of wives from having a say in family affairs. Did you see that part?

We have a brother. And I was speaking on how we relate. She doesn't have to tell us she's taking the kids to her mum's place. Wetin concern us? If she and her husband have discussed it, who are we?

People should stop making up cultural attachments to carry out their selfish actions. Our eldest sister that stands as our mum doesn't even do those rubbish. Our brother is man enough to handle his home. We love and respect him too much to make his wife uncomfortable.

Anifaza:
Please pardon me for using a new moniker as I am quite known here.

Friends and family, I really need your sincere and matured input on this matter.

I have been married for over 10 years with 4 kids. My hubby is a great guy save for this area that we will never agree.
 
 I have sisters-in-law who have vowed never to give me peace despite all my efforts to give peace a chance.  Most of them are all older than him and sort of influences his decision that affects my marriage greatly.

From the beginning, it has been if I am in their good books, my marriage will work and I will be happy, then if not, reverse will be the case.

My husband has refused to see all their manipulations and always tell me that he grew up with them and so he is indebted to them. I have never tried to cause a separation between them but they usually see me as an intruder to their unity.

For these 10 years plus, it has always been the issue,  I have begged, used gifts,  apologised ,sought for forgiveness from them  for sins I have not committed just for peace to reign yet, the next problem will be bigger than the previous.

Some are married while some are not. The worst that affect me most is the married ones with children.

Now, they all don't talk to me and this is affecting my marriage. Hubby gives me cold shoulders, no sex asking me to mend the relationship with his sisters  of which I am fed up with the whole thing and I don't want to beg again.

My mind is made up that everyone should stay on their own. Hubby is the only male, seems to be the only one doing well  and parents are no more
 
Please what do I do?

Mods front page please for more inputs.

Updated

Thanks for your input. I truly appreciate. It all started in my ist year of marriage when I had my baby and still in school. My mum came to look after baby and few months later, I took in again of which I left baby with mum while I continued schooling.

They accused my hubby of allowing my mother to be the only one taking care of baby and not them. That in their tradition, mothers of wife have no say and influence in family affairs. This was a major issue and still is. While in my culture, nothing of such as we see nothing wrong here. They disrespect my mother till date because of this. I have caught one twice giving my mother bad eye.

2ndly, a distant relative came with high risk pregnancy with fibroid and I asked she comes to seek medical help and go back, when she came, it was war in my house that it is forbidden in their culture for a pregnant woman to come to another man's house which she's not pregnant for. She later left but loads of issues after this.

My in-laws come anytime even with their children .Every other week and weekend is in my house.
My husband will not take us out unless they are around.

Hubby's lil sis but older than me lived with me for 5 years and that's where the whole wahala persisted with her giving information. I began to see their collaboration through her and frustrated me to the very letter.

We had a fight and hubby asked her to leave. They all ganged up not to talk to me or hubby again which hubby is feeling alienated.
Hubby said his position is threatened in his family and I am the cause. I took care of his older sister who had complication in her surgery for 6 months in my house, non of them came to visit her in my house nor call me. Rather , She got well and told others that I didn't give her food that was why when one called her and she said she was in a restaurant to eat. Hubby and I had issue on this.

I am so fed up . I work and I contribute significantly in the family.
They see me as the one who eats their brother's money alone.
Hubby takes great financial care of them. I am just tired.

If you have ignore button use it..
Anytime they are around let your happiness show.