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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? (60137 Views)
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Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by phemy36(m): 9:10am On Dec 20, 2019 |
Fountainofyouth:That is the reason you have not marry yet. Time will tell |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by ImaIma1(f): 9:20am On Dec 20, 2019 |
midnighter: So you are saying that I agree with my husband to take our child to my mum's place. Then I should call my SILs to tell them too. Why? If my SILs are not sure of me, it's really not my problem. As long as my husband is sure of me, that's what matters. It is not right to let third parties know of your every decision taken at home especially if they are not part of what you are planning. That is a sure way for a marriage to be strained...to run everything by inlaws. 1 Like |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by ImaIma1(f): 9:21am On Dec 20, 2019 |
phemy36: After staying five whole years...half of a decade. 1 Like |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by Babygal2020(f): 9:22am On Dec 20, 2019 |
It's not easy to marry an only-boy in the midst of plenty sisters...... If you are a lady, pray not to have bad sisters-inlaw!!!!!! For the records, I am married..... 2 Likes |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by TonyeBarcanista(m): 9:22am On Dec 20, 2019 |
ImaIma1:Did the OP tell you that her hubby abandoned her to be taking care of his sisters? This is the problem with some of you. You just want a man to abandon his family and focus on only you... BTW my Dad/Mom showed care to his mother (he had no sister and is the only child of his mother). But lemme tell you, my mother was loved by her MIL and she loved her in return. My mother had a loving mother but she always say she preferred her MIL to her own biological mother. My mother even loved her MIL more than her own husband, and my grandmother loved my mother more than her own son. During their young marriage, they(my parents) had issues and my grandmother used police to arrest her own son, my father. In fact, my mother was at the bedside of her MIL up till her demise. My mom is not the "grab it all woman" and my father is not the kind that abandons his family. So you see they all blend! Same love Momsy is transferring to her own DILs and SILs. |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by midnighter(f): 9:26am On Dec 20, 2019 |
ImaIma1: Its not right to tell your in-laws that you left the person carrying the family name in a location other than your house I didnt say you should "run the decision by them". I said you should inform them where their ward is out of courtesy. If they dont agree with it then thats their problem, you are just telling them and not asking for their permission. And you dont need to go announcing it to all of them. Just the eldest one would suffice or if you think she would lie later, you tell your husband to let her know. If she actually went and dropped her husbands child off with her mother without a word then she should blame herself for whatever comes out of it because its quite rude of her. So your SIL shows up and says "where is baby" and you say "I dropped him off with my mum 6 months ago"? How manage |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by Nobody: 9:27am On Dec 20, 2019 |
queenitee:That guy is not married. Don't disturb yourself. Most of the guys here are single and some are below 20 yrs. Let them make the money first, then marry. After 2 yrs, we can have reasonable debate with them.based on experience 1 Like |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by phemy36(m): 9:51am On Dec 20, 2019 |
Pataricatering:Are you staying with them. Don't complicate their issue because she did not mention what you put up here in her her write up |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by folks4luv(f): 9:51am On Dec 20, 2019 |
TonyeBarcanista:You obviously didn't read to understand but to reply. Will leave you to your opinion then. Sometimes, we need life to teach us first hand before we understand some things. Shalom! |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by queenitee(f): 10:00am On Dec 20, 2019 |
sassysure:Oh, okay. But chronological age and Maturity age does not go hand in hand. I’m not married myself. It’s just this issue is one of the basic things one must understand before marriage. It’s not about the age, one needs to attain certain emotional intelligence level before getting married. 2 Likes |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by CSTR2: 10:10am On Dec 20, 2019 |
It is not every man that should know how toto looks like. Weak man . 2 Likes |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by jakandeola(m): 10:14am On Dec 20, 2019 |
ImaIma1:I think u are a very wicked person. I can Neva marry a girl like u because ur are greedy and selfish. abeg get lost |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by YelloweWest: 10:16am On Dec 20, 2019 |
TonyeBarcanista:A wife should respect boundaries in her own home? Did you read the part where she said her sister inlaw lives with them, causing trouble? Did you read the part where she said her own relatives where barred from coming to her house based on one stupìd tradition? Did u read where she said her sister inlaw were being disrespectful to her own mother?? I guess u just want to see things from a wife hating point of view. Just know that the relationship between husband and wife is stronger than that between siblings! My spouse first before my sisters any day! 4 Likes |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by Adedayobusayo12(f): 10:17am On Dec 20, 2019 |
spyg1: Is the problem with how he is spending or jobless wretched sisters fighting the wife. So because your brother assisted you means that they should torment your wife? If you like give him all you have in your life,your own cup of tea. My own is I get my job so na u know wetin u want to do with your money. Leave your biological children sef, start taking care of your brother's children. Adults will be contributing to matters, JAMBIte too is talking. Go and take several seats 3 Likes |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by Nobody: 10:19am On Dec 20, 2019 |
E |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by ImaIma1(f): 10:19am On Dec 20, 2019 |
jakandeola: You are delusional. Wicked? Why? As I said...this information will pain some guys 1 Like |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by ImaIma1(f): 10:30am On Dec 20, 2019 |
midnighter: Their brother can tell them if he feels it is necessary. It is his home, not theirs. What is this "the person carrying their family name" thing? That's just mystifying a simple situation. As long as the husband and wife agree, all others are unnecessary. If they ask, I can tell them. But I don't answer to them, so I can't inform them. Marriage is very delicate and having extra people in on your decisions is not advisable. Not even his father, but his sisters. When my brother's wife takes the kids to her mum's place, she doesn't need to inform any of us. She tells us when we ask. It would be disrespectful of my brother's home for us to challenge his wife. That's how I see it. She's even another tribe and we don't fret. My brother can handle his home. Why would we need to leave our own homes and poke our noses in his'? If he doesn't call us into a matter, we don't interfere. 3 Likes |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by jakandeola(m): 10:32am On Dec 20, 2019 |
ImaIma1:u are really getting me angry if not DAT I respect u a lot I will insult u. when ur son got a millions tell him not to give u his parents or hus younger ones.let him build 10 house and put his wife name in all d house let Him not put any children name only wife because she has become god.d boss and oga of d house.is wife oga or the hubby? who did u think u are.as a wife wats so special about u DAT u want to control ur hubby and take over his property. if u say add children name I wont be angry but why ur name if u didnt have a secret plan. women DAT can cheat on hubby or bring barstard baby to d man as his.most women in d rooms support divorce so if I did DAT if she divorce she get all my property? av u not heard of women DAT kill thier hubby. forget DAT talk. |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by ImaIma1(f): 10:33am On Dec 20, 2019 |
TonyeBarcanista: That is where you miss it. Is it possible for one to abandon family? Has anyone said that a man should abandon his family? You just seem to be too biased towards women that it affects your judgement 1 Like |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by ImaIma1(f): 10:35am On Dec 20, 2019 |
jakandeola: Sweetheart when my husband buys things for his mum, he puts it in her name. If he is building her a house, it would be in her name. But when he is buying things or building a house for himself, he puts it in my name. His mum understands this because that's what she enjoyed from his dad. And no...I didn't control him to do it. He got it form his FATHER. If mumsy enjoyed such benefits, would she complain if her son takes after his father? Stop getting worked up 3 Likes |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by MumEmdy(f): 10:42am On Dec 20, 2019 |
Sometimes staying on your own is just d best option. I was once in your shoes before i quietly decided that enough is enough. I am the type that can give you my all just the moment you ask for it. But my inlaws started to make it look like i own them dat, i dont really care much about that, fast forward to when i needed their help..i was writing my final pgd exam, pregnant at d same time and kids were on break i pleaded with hubby to take them to d family house that is just 20mins drive from here for me to go and pick them after each exam. When i went to get my kids after exam my mother inlaw told me that she only force herself to stay at home because of my kids i thank her n left with them. The following day i fed and prepare, gave them enough food that will last them for d 3hr i will spend in writing my exam. After exam i rush home to catch some sleep lo and behold my kids were already home, my daughter told me that mama brought them home that today is market, tears drop from my eyes cos my 3kids are just helpless below 6yrs twins and 3yr old brother which were all seated outside waiting for me, i can not lie cos i have a mother that has daughters- inlaw as well. That very moment i decided in my wicked heart never to take my children to her again. Thank God my cousin sister agreed to come look after d kids and even stay extra one month till am done with exam and morning sickness. Its 4months since that incidence mother inlaw is their complaining to her son of not seeing d kids. Is judt me my kids and hubby.,. e 3 Likes |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by ambient: 10:44am On Dec 20, 2019 |
I can see you begging them till your 60s and 70s 1 Like |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by jakandeola(m): 10:46am On Dec 20, 2019 |
TonyeBarcanista:baba live dem. I wont talk pim for dis matter again.make dem dey run thier mouth. wat goes around goes around. dey are happy collecting property in thier name.dey forget tomoro is pregnant. dey become mum in law tomoro and start crying thier son abandon dem. god forbid I run my marriage like DAT wen d only ting am getting from u as wife is food sex and baby. 1 Like |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by midnighter(f): 10:53am On Dec 20, 2019 |
ImaIma1: If you cant acknowledge that a family with an only son may have a different dynamic and concern for his children than one with all boys then I can see why you called being realistic "Mystification". She should have known the kind of family she was marrying into and how they may perceive her actions concerning their heir. I think the OP said the husbands mother is late. So are you telling me that if the mother were alive, OP wouldnt see it necessary to explain where she dropped her grandchild? She didnt just take the baby for visit or simple stay, she said it was "while she was schooling". It implied an extended period which means that their circumstances have changed which necessitates some family collaboration. She doesnt answer to the family who brought her husband up Anyway I can see that neither of us is going to shift ground here, no problem. |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by ImaIma1(f): 11:13am On Dec 20, 2019 |
midnighter: Look...I won't mince words...if the sisters mind their homes, business/career, they won't have time to start seeing what is going on in their brother's house. My mum is also late...infact both my parents are late and we are 4 girls. But we don't make such unnecessary and absurd demands or try to make our brother's wife run helter skelter to please us. These sisters are interfering and that's because their brothers have given them a say in his marriage. 4 Likes |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by midnighter(f): 11:18am On Dec 20, 2019 |
ImaIma1: Yes! Exactly. IF they were normal, we wouldnt be having this conversation. But theyre not! The OP should have been more realistic about the kind of people she married. She should have made it easier for herself instead of claiming right on small small issues that could have been avoided if not for a bit of compromise. Not everybody is as fulfilled and reasonable as you and your sisters. And since you dont have a brother, you cant say what you would have done if you had one and his children were being moved around without your knowledge. Thats not to mention that the OP said that the husbands culture forbids mothers of wives from having a say in family affairs. Did you see that part? |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by ImaIma1(f): 11:31am On Dec 20, 2019 |
midnighter: Forget culture. People bring up culture to have their way. Doesn't their culture say they should mind their own families. If they choose not to be normal, why should someone have to deal with their abnormalities. See ehn! I didn't beg to be married. The man wooed me, asked for my hand in marriage to build a life with him. So no one can treat me like a second class citizen in my husband's house. I don't take all those excesses. I don't insult people or get into confrontations but my silence is very golden. And I will just put you in your place without fighting you. All this complaining the OP is doing is not effective. She has to take charge of her home. Don't let anyone put your wife under pressure. She is yours to protect. 2 Likes |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by TonyeBarcanista(m): 11:40am On Dec 20, 2019 |
YelloweWest:The home is not just HER HOME! It is the home of thw Husband, she and their children. Also that the man's siblings are not just roadside visitors, they are also of the man and she must learn to accommodate them. Did you read the part where she said her sister inlaw lives with them, causing trouble?I am sure you also read where the husband sent away the troublesome sister? However, there is NOTHING wrong for sibling to come stay with their brother, whether married or unmarried. I am sure that was only temporary and not permanent as long as they aren't trouble to the household. Did you read the part where she said her own relatives where barred from coming to her house based on one stupìd tradition?Why should a pregnant relative come to her husband's house when he is not responsible for the pregnancy? Did she even seek her husband's permission before doing that? Why should my pregnant distant relative carry her pregnancy to my sister's husband's house? That is sacrilegious to both common sense and tradition. (BTW if she wasn't interested in traditions she shouldn't have married traditionally) Did u read where she said her sister inlaw were being disrespectful to her own mother??Taking her child to her mother is ONLY appropriate IF her husband gave her the permission. She is the one that dragged her mother into the mess. Just know that the relationship between husband and wife is stronger than that between siblings!This is arrant nonsense. Wife and siblings are not in any contest, everyone have their place in the man's life. My spouse first before my sisters any day!This is you people's problem! Always seeing everything as competition and contest. That was how my ex was asking me who I love more between she and my sisters... I told her... Yimu |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by TonyeBarcanista(m): 11:46am On Dec 20, 2019 |
MumEmdy:Mama Eddy, your own case is well justified as your MIL acted inappropriately towards her grandchildren. 2 Likes |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by yoged(m): 11:49am On Dec 20, 2019 |
When people married . Family member should leave them alone and allow them to enjoy their life . Same thing nearly happen to me. Withing 7 months of getting married , my wife family came 3 times withing that period , the mom, her elder sister and her siblings . Cant someone even enjoy his privacy? I have to call my wife to order if she wants the marriage to last . My mom that stays close-by only visited once and we have to beg her to even visit . She'll say enjoy your hone with each other . 2 Likes |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by ImaIma1(f): 11:53am On Dec 20, 2019 |
midnighter: We have a brother. And I was speaking on how we relate. She doesn't have to tell us she's taking the kids to her mum's place. Wetin concern us? If she and her husband have discussed it, who are we? People should stop making up cultural attachments to carry out their selfish actions. Our eldest sister that stands as our mum doesn't even do those rubbish. Our brother is man enough to handle his home. We love and respect him too much to make his wife uncomfortable. 2 Likes |
Re: My Sisters-In-Law Are Causing Problems In My Marriage! What Do I Do? by davillian(m): 12:19pm On Dec 20, 2019 |
Anifaza:If you have ignore button use it.. Anytime they are around let your happiness show. |
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