Btruth:
You are his friend and not his parents' friend. Your loyalty should be with your friend.

I feel the guy has hate for his friend deep down.. this should not even be a debate I swear.. halfassed bitches calling thier selfs friends everywhere .. this guy is obviously jealous of his friend getting married without any support from his parents.. that my take on this

Came4amod:


Your parents can even serve your head to the devil .. parents are overrated.. my childhood was struggle.. I am not even up to 30 but I feel like a veteran with PTSD .. its bleeped up here .. and I am sure many people feel this way already ..

Parents are not overrated. Don't say that. Make peace with yours

jahsharon:
A friend in need is a friend in deed. What type of friend are you? Are you a friend to the guy or to his parents?

I wanted to ask same question

czarina:
The above shows that you clearly already know what to do. Why ask?

he needs validation for not attending

fkj950ax:


Yes you should attend.
You aren't the parents' Holy Spirit.
Do not support or withdraw support against someone for the type of relationship the person has with someone else.

parent holy spirit? nairaland don off me this morning

The moderators should stop bringing stupid questions to front page, this is getting out of hand.

mikezuruki:


Parents are not overrated. Don't say that. Make peace with yours

Bro you need to get it straight to your head they are just human beings like you .. so well it depends anyways .. if your life was like mine you would't say they are not overrated.. and you are correct I need to make peace .. but the peace may end up killing me .. so staying alive and dead which do you want me to do ??

lomprico:


but u listen to wizkid, davido, tuface, etc. when born scatter everywhere without marriage.
abeg fuckoff.

You should not compare yourself with others o.

mikezuruki:
Is It Proper For Me As A Friend Attend This Engagement?

I will make this short as possible.

I will be attending a friend of mine engagement party today who happened to have impregnated the girl before marriage plan. That wasn't his plan. His parents didn't give their blessings hence they are not showing up for the engagement party.

Is it right for me as a friend to show up for something like this that was not blessed nor consented by the parents of the groom to be?

What do you think? mature ones please

U are just a tuzaquin

Came4amod:


Bro you need to get it straight to your head they are just human beings like you .. so well it depends anyways .. if your life was like mine you would't say they are not overrated.. and you are correct I need to make peace .. but the peace may end up killing me .. so staying alive and dead which do you want me to do ??

Well maybe for some reasons ur life n relationship wit ur parents didnt turn out nice. But that doesn't mean parents are over rated, they are quite important.

U can still reconcile wit ur parents one way or the other.

And ols what do u mean by making peace with ur parents might cost u ur life?

SenorFax:
Show your support as his friend, go and let him know even through ffucck-ups you will be there for him.

Don't go. I was in similar situation in past. If anything goes wrong with the marriage, the family will see you as one who misled their son

PrecisionFx:


Well maybe for some reasons ur life n relationship wit ur parents didnt turn out nice. But that doesn't mean parents are over rated, they are quite important.

U can still reconcile wit ur parents one way or the other.

And ols what do u mean by making peace with ur parents might cost u ur life?

Bro it's too much dirty deep secrets to be putting here alot of parents are angry that thier kids dont have to suffer like them .. and still turnout good .. despite not going to life the way they wanted it for you .. bro

Wolgrace:
I like your mindset on this issue. It's a difficult decision to make. But why should the bride's family give consent (if possible, too-quick-arrangement) to the engagement ceremony without the groom's parents? Something is definitely wrong with the bride's family, lets start from here. I advice your friend to undergo spiritual checkup first before the d-day. Then, ask your friend to know the exact reason why his parents are not coming. Grooms parents may be right at the end, let your friend find out the root first before that day. Then you can decide to go or not. Just be wise and cunny as serpent, and be harmless and pure as dove in this matter.

Why won't the bride's family give quick approval to the ceremony, when the bride is already pregnant?

I can't understand your question, o!! If the bride was your own sister, will you advise her to give birth, without getting married?

CAPSLOCKED:


WE DON'T NEED PARENTS BLESSINGS FOR ANYTHING. THIS REASONING IS WHY WE GIVE OUR PARENTS AND ELDERS SO MUCH POWER OVER US AND THEY CONTROL US AND CAUSE CHAOS WITH THE ARMS WE GIVE THEM.

YOU JUST NEED AN AMAZING PARTNER. NOT ANYBODY'S BLESSINGS. ALL THE COUPLES FIGHTING AND DIVORCING, DO YOU KNOW THAT ALMOST ALL OF THEM OBTAINED BLESSINGS FROM THEIR FAMILIES AND PASTORS FIRST? BUT SEE HOW TERRIBLE THEIR MARRIAGES BECOME.

YOU JUST NEED COOPERATION IN YOUR MARRIAGE. NOT BLESSINGS. WHO BLESSES TWO ORPHANS? WHO BLESSES UNMARRIED PAIRS THAT HAVE LIVED TOGETHER FOR YEARS IN PEACE WITH MANY CHILDREN OUT OF WEDLOCK?

Isn’t it funny that parents blessings is what the average Nigerian is looking to eventually achieve in life?
Even if your parents are emotional maniacs who manipulate you to become the vision THEY have for you.
We are not obliged to live up to anyone’s expectations but our own, self fulfilment is better than sacrificing your own happiness to please others.

Your decision, your business. My opinion, my business sha.

While he was seeing the girl, i beleive the parent didn't approve it, you didn't advice him abt going against his parent, infact you were always going with him to see the girl, escort him at times when he took the girl out, while bleeping the girl you were aware of it and now he got the girl pregnant and you are talking abt principle.
Mr principle right weldone.
When is it in the bible that a father shld follow his son to the family he wants to marry frm? afterall the marraige will be in the brides family place and the guy will bear the happiness and bitterness of the marraige..

Are you the one blessing the marriage?
are you going as the parents representative or are you going as his friend?

I don't think his family decision about his marriage concerns you as his friend.

mikezuruki:



you made a whole lot of sense. Thanks.

I am particular about his parents giving their blessings. I have told him. We have been telling ourselves as friends the truth no matter the situation.

Going ahead without parents consent and blessings is wrong

It's a good thing that you told him your feelings about his parents not accepting and approving his marriage. He knows your stand already base on that.

You have justify yourself with that act and have made a case for yourself in the future about the situation of his marriage now.

Now, does that stop you from attending the ceremony and being there for your frien?

He is your friend not his parents,go and show him support

Because the daughter is pregnant and it doesn't belong to the groom? So, pregnancy should be the reason of the engagement without first considering the lasting love and peace of the union? It really shows they are irresponsible parents.
They groom owns the pregnancy and groom's parents also. The bride's parents quick arrangement show how selfish they are. Its abnormal on their own part, they should have pause/postpone the ceremony. The young couple should settle down first, pending the time she give birth. I believe the groom's parents will respond positively. Bride's parents are totally wrong for now, something is fishy about them

CeterisXVII:

Why won't the bride's family give quick approval to the ceremony, when the bride is already pregnant?

I can't understand your question, o!! If the bride was your own sister, will you advise her to give birth, without getting married?

Wolgrace:
Because the daughter is pregnant and it doesn't belong to the groom? So, pregnancy should be the reason of the engagement without first considering the lasting love and peace of the union? It really shows they are irresponsible parents.
They groom owns the pregnancy and groom's parents also. The bride's parents quick arrangement show how selfish they are. Its abnormal on their own part, they should have pause/postpone the ceremony. The young couple should settle down first, pending the time she give birth. I believe the groom's parents will respond positively. Bride's parents are totally wrong for now, something is fishy about them

Did the bride and groom say they are not in love with each other, or they are not compatible? What are you even saying, sef?

Is the groom being forced to marry the bride at gun point? Isn't he an adult?!

Nobody has even said the main reason, why the groom's parents are not in support of the wedding. It could be one irrational flimsy reason like tribe or education or wealth and status. We see and hear such things, all the time.

So in your view the bride should give birth without being married, inside her father's house....can you see how irresponsible that sounds?

So she should bear the shame alone, and wear the tag of baby mama, while the guy walks away without any qualms.

At least, the guy wants to do the right thing and prevent the child from being born as a bastard, and also take responsibility for his actions. Leave him alone, jaré.

Thank goodness, there are still men like the groom who have a conscience! You are now calling the girl's parents selfish. Selfish kó, salad ní! Rubbbish....

So if it takes the groom's parents 5 years to make up their mind, the bride's parents should keep waiting for them, to make up their minds, instead of protecting their daughter's reputation.

Your point of view is really flawed. Who told you the young couple can't settle down on low key since they both love themselves? WHAT HAPPENED TO COURT MARRIAGE? The engagement ceremony is just a show off, which is not a compulsory thing and it is a must both parents be present to bless them. And you are talking about conscience? If the brides parents have conscience too, they must do the right thing as elders. It will be a shameful thing for them to approve such "show off" party without considering their lasting love and future peace. Let the couple go through court marriage first since the groom want to do the right thing (COURT SEALS IT), and the ceremonial thing should be concluded by both parents. TWO WRONGS DONT MAKE RIGHT. On a low key, court marriage will settle it all since the bride dont want to give birth in her father's home and the grooms parents will one day get along. It's a must.

Quick question: what if the groom still in his father's house? Brother, consider this too.

LET THE COUPLE AND BRIDE'S PARENTS GIVE TIME TO PATIENCE AND ENDURANCE since court marriage is available to them. I sense you don't have this experience, that's why you think and talk in western way. Try and understand the line between the biblical, cultural and customary marriage law.

Mind you, be constructive and objective. Don't because of uncontrollable anger and bitterness bash me. Its an interactive session, so let's discuss and analyse together.

CeterisXVII:

Did the bride and groom say they are not in love with each other, or they are not compatible? What are you even saying, sef?

Is the groom being forced to marry the bride at gun point? Isn't he an adult?!

Nobody has even said the main reason, why the groom's parents are not in support of the wedding. It could be one irrational flimsy reason like tribe or education or wealth and status. We see and hear such things, all the time.

So in your view the bride should give birth without being married, inside her father's house....can you see how irresponsible that sounds?

So she should bear the shame alone, and wear the tag of baby mama, while the guy walks away without any qualms.

At least, the guy wants to do the right thing and prevent the child from being born as a bastard, and also take responsibility for his actions. Leave him alone, jaré.

Thank goodness, there are still men like the groom who have a conscience! You are now calling the girl's parents selfish. Selfish kó, salad ní! Rubbbish....

So if it takes the groom's parents 5 years to make up their mind, the bride's parents should keep waiting for them, to make up their minds, instead of protecting their daughter's reputation.

ibkayee:
Are you the groom’s friend or the parents’??

I don’t even understand the ‘dilemma’ lol

Hy sis.

Wolgrace:
Your point of view is really flawed. Who told you the young couple can't settle down on low key since they both love themselves? WHAT HAPPENED TO COURT MARRIAGE? The engagement ceremony is just a show off, which is not a compulsory thing and it is a must both parents be present to bless them. And you are talking about conscience? If the brides parents have conscience too, they must do the right thing as elders. It will be a shameful thing for them to approve such "show off" party without considering their lasting love and future peace. Let the couple go through court marriage first since the groom want to do the right thing (COURT SEALS IT), and the ceremonial thing should be concluded by both parents. TWO WRONGS DONT MAKE RIGHT. On a low key, court marriage will settle it all since the bride dont want to give birth in her father's home and the grooms parents will one day get along. It's a must.

Quick question: what if the groom still in his father's house? Brother, consider this too.

LET THE COUPLE AND BRIDE'S PARENTS GIVE TIME TO PATIENCE AND ENDURANCE since court marriage is available to them. I sense you don't have this experience, that's why you think and talk in western way. Try and understand the line between the biblical, cultural and customary marriage law.

Mind you, be constructive and objective. Don't because of uncontrollable anger and bitterness bash me. Its an interactive session, so let's discuss and analyse together.

There is absolutely NOTHING flawed about my post.

Who says an engagement cannot be low keyed? Where is it written in the OP's post, that it was a flamboyant engagement?

I have seen traditional engagement that held in the parlour of the bride's family. All those present were less than 10 people, including the couple. From outside, you will not even know anything was going on, inside the house.

Secondly, the reason for the groom's parents disagreement for the wedding, was NOT even stated.

So how do you know, if their disagreement was based on flimsy or frivolous reasons?

Are the bride's parents not rational adults too? Don't you think they must have looked at those reasons, as well as their daughter's happiness and reputation, before deciding to hold the engagement?

And what makes you think the bride's people have NOT tried to reach out to the groom's parents before now? Even though the OP did not make reference to that aspect?

Having a court wedding means they are legally married in the eyes of the law. A traditional engagement is even better, as it is a customary tie which can be easily broken, if they are incompatible in future.

But with a court wedding they will have to go through divorce proceedings in a law court, before their union can be dissolved. Lawyers will have to be involved on both sides. Their case could take a few years, before it is concluded.

Yet, you are advocating that it is better for the couple to do a court wedding, (which is far more difficult to break), because of the groom's parents disapproval with their union, instead of a traditional engagement, that is less cumbersome. Na wa, o!

Oga, when your own daughter gets pregnant outside wedlock, you can give her your own advice. Until then, leave the couple alone, to enjoy their lives.

The groom's parents will eventually accept them....

makydebbie:


Hy sis.

Hey dear

Btw if you've messaged me I'm not with my phone at the moment

ibkayee:

Hey dear

Btw if you've messaged me I'm not with my phone at the moment

Okay dear, once you get it then..

mikezuruki:
Is It Proper For Me As A Friend Attend This Engagement?

I will make this short as possible.

I will be attending a friend of mine engagement party today who happened to have impregnated the girl before marriage plan. That wasn't his plan. His parents didn't give their blessings hence they are not showing up for the engagement party.

Is it right for me as a friend to show up for something like this that was not blessed nor consented by the parents of the groom to be?

What do you think? mature ones please

What kind of friend are you?

You are worse than Judas for even considering leaving him on such an important day to hang and dry outside alone.

You have no business with his parents unless dey pay you to be his friend. You are totally worthless

Thegamingorca:



What kind of friend are you?

You are worse than Judas for even considering leaving him on such an important day to hang and dry outside alone.

You have no business with his parents unless dey pay you to be his friend. You are totally worthless

you don't know anything. I'll leave it at that

mikezuruki:
Is It Proper For Me As A Friend Attend This Engagement?

I will make this short as possible.

I will be attending a friend of mine engagement party today who happened to have impregnated the girl before marriage plan. That wasn't his plan. His parents didn't give their blessings hence they are not showing up for the engagement party.

Is it right for me as a friend to show up for something like this that was not blessed nor consented by the parents of the groom to be?

What do you think? mature ones please

Whether his parents approves it or not is not binding on you but on their son

You are attending for the sake of your friendship and you must attend

makydebbie:


Been a while we linked up.

Yeah it has, you must be back from school sha, hope your Christmas went well?

I still don’t have my phone sha, getting it back on Sunday

ibkayee:

Yeah it has, you must be back from school sha, hope your Christmas went well?

I still don’t have my phone sha, getting it back on Sunday

Yes sis I'm back sha, it's a short break I'll be resuming soonest. My Christmas was okay, you had me sorted. How was yours and how's the fam? My love to them all.

Lol, you and your phone. okay sis will be anticipating your return.

makydebbie:


Yes sis I'm back sha, it's a short break I'll be resuming soonest. My Christmas was okay, you had me sorted. How was yours and how's the fam? My love to them all.

Lol, you and your phone. okay sis will be anticipating your return.

It was fine, they're fine, glad to hear

ibkayee:

It was fine, they're fine, glad to hear