Just like #biafrareform said"what has happen has hpn,allow the men to in touch with his daughter.. Depriving her of the truth will cause great harm in future if she hpn to fiind out that the man she's regarding to has her dad ain't the biological dad,she will hate you guys more than you can ever imagine..


I know how traumatized your family might feel,tell her everything she need to know nd allow her to decide her faith by herself..

#xylan7

dnawah:
tell them to bring one of their daughter,so that you go give am belle.then after 16 years make them come back make una discuss.by then your niece go be 32,marry get fine fine Perkins.

u dey crack me up abeg

Biafrareform:


I looked after this baby girl from when she was born till she came of age . She is so fond of me .

Now one nigga is trying to upset her psychological mindset all in a bit to have access to her .

This is so hard to bear

You are the father by adoption. Except the girl herself doesn't want you. Don't give in to their antics.

lovat:
Don't allow the idiot close to that girl. I have a 9 yr old daughter that I didn't reject when my fling told me she was pregnant. I didn't shy away from my responsibility and today she is the reason I have cause to smile.


Don't allow that girl to go. Children are the most wonderful creatures ever and they bring joy even when sadness is seeping into you

Sometimes it may depend on the age of the guy, is obsolutely difficulty for a guy in his teen to accept responsibility of such, this is usually out of fear, but for his family to denied it, that's
completely irresponsible of the family...

though its hard but you have to forgive him and watch him closely, you cannot deny someone the knowledge of her true parentage it will come back to haunt you later because she will eventually find out...but what the the guy did was wrong because he left when things were tough and came back when the child was all grown up...but life is like that at times.

LoyalRccgMember:


Thank you brother!!! you just said my mind

I'm a lady.

And that's the only way, it can work and she will stay with him.

I don't trust the real father one bit!

With the way Some psychotic men are raping their daughters and using them as sex slaves? Na I don't trust him.

Kylekent59:
You should be very happy for her that she's gonna reunite with her father. That's the best love you can give to her.


God even forgives us our sins, then we unite with him again and he welcomes us.

Just let them have her, you need not be furious. You have done your good part by being there for her. Seal your goodness with good ending and not the other way round.



You cannot deprive her of her real father!!!


*FACT*

is very painfull oo

All these useless fathers

KIkiofure:
I am currently two months pregnant with no support from him.. He denied me and his family too..
I pray I birth this child in peace but since he denied me already he can never see this child.. He even called my baby bastard

Story, he will still have access to the child. Better look for a way to get him involve in raising the child. Once you birth the child, look for child support.

Xylan7:
Just like #biafrareform said"what has happen has hpn,allow the men to in touch with his daughter.. Depriving her of the truth will cause great harm in future if she hpn to fiind out that the man she's regarding to has her dad ain't the biological dad,she will hate you guys more than you can ever imagine..


I know how traumatized your family might feel,tell her everything she need to know nd allow her to decide her faith by herself..

#xylan7

I wonder why the mother has denied the poor girl the truth till now. After all she has no reason to fear the truth. As for granting the so-called father access, there is a just
and elaborate procedure - it is not over the counter!

I understand how angry you are, but at times situations can make someone take the wrong decision. i think it was not working for him well then. if he has realized himself, you guys should tell him what it has taken to raise t girl up, let him play his role financially based on his capacity. then let him show commitment and let the girl know what the father has done so that she will know who fought for her from childhood

dawnomike:
Meet with the irresponsible dad and discuss as men that you are... Things happen and all can be resolved amicably

Very reasonable response.
The irresponsible guy might have been scared stiff as a young man when the pregnancy occured and so was coerced by his family into denying that he owned the pregnancy. As an adult now, he wants to take full responsibility for his past action.
Please meet and discuss with him.

GerogeI:


Bros, that's where you are wrong.
By common law, he gave up his rights by being irresponsible. The child does not exist in a vaccum. To survive the child has informal guardians taking care of her for 16 years. He should try to dislodge that in a court.

By cultural law, he has no foot-in, what's so ever. You cannot claim a child you did not father legally in Igbo culture. That's why we legally do not have bastards, as the culture provides for a father in Every situation. Child of an unmarried mother belongs to the childs grandparents.

Your are making assumptions based on the patrichal nature of most societies. In most cases people just let go in order to spare the child the trauma. As long as he does not has access to this child to get into her psychology, do not let him subject a happy 16 year old child to psychological trauma and confusion. Spare her all these till her twenties. At that age her supposed father also know he is just a visitor.

Thanks for this. Very educative especially your second paragraph.

To dislodge such case in court will be an herculean task. Reason been that, we are just listening to a side of the story. Why did the man refuse to accept the pregnancy or child? Probably the woman was promiscuous (OP, apologies, we are just dissecting issues), or very naive while in school, or he was out of sight when he got the news or it was just absolute wickedness or the lady's fault as well (you know girls, they might be funny at times) lots of reasons we can't comprehend.

I want us to remove personal feelings and sentiments.

In court, you don't throw the water and the baby away. It would be based on facts. The mother already accepted, the man owns the child. Being that the child was not properly taking care of can be due to lots of reasons beyond the control of the man. The man is guilty of all charges. Accepted

However, does that just justify the court to denounce him of his child since the mother accepted he is the father? Does his irresponsibility make loose partenity?

victorian:




I'm a lady.

And that's the only way, it can work and she will stay with him.

I don't trust the real father one bit!

With the way Some psychotic men are raping their daughters and using them as sex slaves? Na I don't trust him.

well said sis. compliment of da season.u look asian by d way.

Biafrareform:


I looked after this baby girl from when she was born till she came of age . She is so fond of me .

Now one nigga is trying to upset her psychological mindset all in a bit to have access to her .

This is so hard to bear

It very very very very very very very to bear, i really feel your pains. I think it is better to seek the advice of a lawyer.

The man deserves to be flogged and fined too. U don't just expect it to be an easy one. He has to feel the pain.

Briller:
Sorry to digress. So can I be given custody of my 3kids cause even when still married, my husband has totally ceded the responsibility of catering for the kids to me and then all he works for is for his extended family so he would be seen as the generous one.

Does evidence of paying all the bills give me custody cause right now the only thing on my mind is to kukuma face reality that I am a s single mom.

What does the Law provide for?

Go to welfare or customary court and do enquiry

The world has changed. She can go through life and become successful without knowing her biological father. He chose to be a sperm donor and nothing more. But at sixteen, she is old enough to know the truth about her father. But please tell her to have nothing to do with him or his family. Yes!!! Absolutely nothing. They are wicked and bad association corrupts.

Issues like this are often times hard to deal with.. it's even a good thing he showed up, well after 16 years, just let the child make the decision, that is after letting her know her truth..

I know of a man that denied his child from the womb when the mother told the man about the pregnancy reason that he already got 3 women pregnant at around the same period, just a year or two difference..I believe this woman tried aborting but no way, this woman got married and her husband accepted the child, he catered for this child until her University level but he later died in her 300l that's when school stopped, she got married, bride price was paid to the man's family..This girl in question was happily married with 5 kids as at last year when she met her biological father, she was around 33 then. Do you believe that this man that abandoned her is now her father of the decade? She even sends things do this her father, fast forward to early this year, she gave birth to twin boys, she didn't let her mum know for weeks, it even had to take the husband calling the mother before she knew her child gave birth, but immediately she gave birth that very day she called her father..now herself and her father are having the best relationship and her mother who was there through the shame, disgrace and every hurtful thing you can think of is the bad person, in fact she is the one that wants to destroy her home..When her mum got to know she had started communicating with her dad she was angry but this man said " why is she angry, that doesn't she know it is the hand work of God that they met." plus this man has not even gone to meet the woman's family to pay whatever thing he has to pay.

In essence what am I saying, just let the girl have a say in this whole issue after letting her know her truth which was hidden from her, also let her know whatever decision you guys made all came from a place of love.. you will be surprised at how she would handle the whole issue..If you decide to stop the man from communicating with her, later in life they might get to know themselves and she would blame you guys for not letting her know her biological father even after he tried communicating with her..

Sorry for the long epistle

Liposure:
well said sis. compliment of da season.u look asian by d way.

Thanks

Sighs that's what everyone says. And that's how God made me look. Smiles I can't complain. I'm surprised myself too but I've gotten used to it

Compliments dear.

Biafrareform:
.

Who is even talking of paying up. I don't want him near my baby girl

Better go and born ur own baby... He is the father, there is notin u can do Bro..

The father is always the father..

Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

my brother please tell the innocent girl the whole truth of how her biological father and family rejected her mother and her and allow her to decide but make sure she is up to 18 years

Biafrareform:


I looked after this baby girl from when she was born till she came of age . She is so fond of me .

Now one nigga is trying to upset her psychological mindset all in a bit to have access to her .

This is so hard to bear

put your self in his shoes and make your decision that's the only thing i have to say,if its was you how will you like this matter to be handle

Biafrareform:
.

Who is even talking of paying up. I don't want him near my baby girl

Allow emotions to run now. But later the family can allow her see him on the condition that he has something to offer like continuing her tertiary education...in a private Uni or abroad not 9ja federal or state uni.

If he has nothing to offer, I bet the girl will know what to do since she has been told the story.

But please watch them closely to avoid negative influence because some ppl can be wolves in sheep clothing's he migh not be sober as he claims.

victorian:









Op, the time has come for you to tell your baby girl, the truth about her father.
Let her know she was rejected from birth and u accepted her and took care of her like your own. Let her mother too be present when both you and your sister is opening up to her .
And let her know, the father now wants to claim her and come back to her life.

If the communication line between u and your baby girl is good.

Talk to her like your daughter, let her remember those lovely moments both of u shared while growing up. Let her know, she can vouch for your love for her and to keep training and taking care of her till she marries but she cant vouch for a man, a stranger coming up from nowhere claiming he's her father.

And she can forgive him. But she can also choose whether to keep living with you, whom she knows inside out than to live with a stranger who wants nothing to do with her in the first place.
So she has the right to choose whom to be with. And if she wants to see her dad? Her dad can come visit her in your home. So she has to choose but she should remember the devil she knows, is better than angel showing up all of a sudden.

There are fathers fucvking their own daughters, And Mehn I don't trust the motive of the father towards the girl. He may want her as a sex slave. He doesn't have any fatherly connection towards her. So why want her at this level. I don't trust him one bit.
Only she can decide to stay with you or leave with him. But if uv been good to her, she will choose you.

Op try to open up to the girl, and let her know some twisted fathers do rape their daughters. And no one knows motive of this dad.

Biafrareform

Copy this advice word for word and ask the girl to read it.

Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

baba no mind people may dey preach here. What if something happened to the baby girl or wat if something happened to your sister through child birth. Now everybody don hustle help the baby girl the bastard wan come claim papa. Na God go punish am. You still dey ask for advice . If it my family he won't even dare call the number self not to talk of saying him wan see him. He sees your family as weak that's why now.

Apination:
Issues like this dey complex, you can't stop the father from knowing his daughter but it should end there. He gave up the right to her the day he denied her

how old was he when he denied the baby he might have been a teen-ager scared for his future, not thinking straight....now he is older, more secure and wiser..you know sometimes with age comes wisdom....... Talking from experience

Biafrareform:


I looked after this baby girl from when she was born till she came of age . She is so fond of me .

Now one nigga is trying to upset her psychological mindset all in a bit to have access to her .

This is so hard to bear

Forget all these useless people saying you can't deny her blah blah blah. The girl was fine, she is doing fine and believe me she will be fine without that idiot in her life. I pray she is even a sensible girl so she can tell them off herself. Truth is if you gi e them access to the girl they will try to manipulate her and lie claiming it was not their fault. If you joke she will end up hating you people.

Amiteye:
how old was he when he denied the baby he might have been a teen-ager scared for his future, not thinking straight....now he is older, more secure and wiser..you know sometimes with age comes wisdom....... Talking from experience

Bullshit. If he deinied the girl out of immaturity as you claim then what stops the parents from guiding him to do the right thing.

Hmmm.. This issue is a serious one but with all the comments I have been reading none seems to move me. Here is my pick:

During the time of courtship, does anyone know what truly transpired between the two love birds before it resulted into pregnancy?

While she got pregnant, what was the discussion between the two love birds?

Did he outrightly deny the pregnancy or told her to get rid of it or he was scared.

For the parent deny such, then there is something the lady in picture is not telling us.

If she decides to hide the truth from the child, there must be a reason.

Don't be too hasty to judge the guy in question.

Let the daughter seek the truth at both ends individually, you''ll be surprised the mum might be the culprit.

That doesnt mean the guy did not mess up, but let the daughter make her findings.

Women can cook stories that will last till eternity only for you to find out none were ever true.

There are many reasons why the guy is coming back after 16 years:

It might not be spiritual, but it might be to find a closure to what really hurts him.

Do you even know if he has been trying to see her daughter for years even before she clocked 2 and she has been denying him.

I can go on and on............but all the same............they should both let the poor girl know the truth and open up.

frubben:
baba no mind people may dey preach here. What if something happened to the baby girl or wat if something happened to your sister through child birth. Now everybody don hustle help the baby girl the bastard wan come claim papa. Na God go punish am. You still dey ask for advice . If it my family he won't even dare call the number self not to talk of saying him wan see him. He sees your family as weak that's why now.

God bless you and yohr household.

mrlycan:
Hmmm.. This issue is a serious one but with all the comments I have been reading none seems to move me. Here is my pick:

During the time of courtship, does anyone know what truly transpired between the two love birds before it resulted into pregnancy?

While she got pregnant, what was the discussion between the two love birds?

Did he outrightly deny the pregnancy or told her to get rid of it or he was scared.

For the parent deny such, then there is something the lady in picture is not telling us.

If she decides to hide the truth from the child, there must be a reason.

Don't be too hasty to judge the guy in question.

Let the daughter seek the truth at both ends individually, you''ll be surprised the mum might be the culprit.

That doesnt mean the guy did not mess up, but let the daughter make her findings.

Women can cook stories that will last till eternity only for you to find out none were ever true.

There are many reasons why the guy is coming back after 16 years:

It might not be spiritual, but it might be to find a closure to what really hurts him.

Do you even know if he has been trying to see her daughter for years even before she clocked 2 and she has been denying him.

I can go on and on............but all the same............they should both let the poor girl know the truth and open up.

Its always the victim's fault. Im not sure you read the story properly sef