₦airaland Forum

Pataricatering:
Someone who abandoned u at ur most vulnerable time and ur still here asking questions ? What is it with women and a complete lack of dignity and self - preservation once it concerns marriage ? This man will ALWAYS abandon you at critical times , he will never inconvenience himself for you - ur basically a single woman acting married . Sorry for being blunt but it is what it is .

I tire

@op let me firstly say sorry for what you passed through.

Secondly my advice to you is that there's no perfect man out there, please don't divorce your husband because of what he did to you but just be aware that there's no assurance of love in that marriage. So what should be your main focus is how to develop yourself and take care of your kids and please don't get pregnant for that man again because he doesn't deserve it.


PEACE

Alooone:
I got married to my husband in 2013, we are blessed with 2kids (a boy and a girl)

In 2017, barely 2 weeks after giving birth to our son I was diagnosed with puepurium psychosis. A kind of mental illness that afflicts women that have just given birth and since it has been from one medication to another..

Now since after my diagnosis my husband has been a source of emotional, verbal and physical abuse... He blames my parents for everything as he feels "cheated " feeling that they knew all about my "sickness " before we got married and kept it from him.....

He felt I was a liability and feels he is too young to shoulder such... There was nothing my husband didn't do to frustrate me...

So around June this year I left my home for my father's house and have been there since, now since I have been there my husband hardly calls when he does he wants to speak with his children. He doesn't call my parents to ask about my well-being or that of his kids.

Sometimes I feel abandoned, now the issue is that the love I have for him is beginning to reduce, sometimes I feel like letting him go and starting all over. Other times I want to stay cos I think of my children's future.

As for the psychosis ALL the symptoms have gone as am typing this now I have a job with a small private school and planning to either proceed with my masters or start a nursing programme.

So please I need your advice. Should I let him go?

Forget the man and move on.

Alooone:
I got married to my husband in 2013, we are blessed with 2kids (a boy and a girl)

In 2017, barely 2 weeks after giving birth to our son I was diagnosed with puepurium psycho...

So please I need your advice. Should I let him go?

He has every right to feel cheated and angry cos he was duped into getting into a marriage that was based on fraud.

How would you feel if someone sold a car to you and you later found out it had a serious engine problem which the seller his from you

LegendaryLover:
ABOUT THE ILLNESS:
(a) is there no total cure or it can only be managed?


MARRIAGE:
maybe u guys could sit and talk with some1 he respects. then bare ur heart. help him see ur parents didn't know.


I think love is missing in that marriage; God's kinda love. That the only thing that can help couples be truly there for each other in tough times.

e.g husband losses job and wife divorces. wife is unable to get pregnant and husband leaves the marriage.




IS HE BORN AGAIN?

is his behavior that of a born again? Or do you people just ask this question every time?

You should not tag anyone that behaved so repulsively as born again, unless you think this behavior is what obtains with born again people.....then again, I know a lot of fake born again Christians

Alooone:
I got married to my husband in 2013, we are blessed with 2kids (a boy and a girl)

In 2017, barely 2 weeks after giving birth to our son I was diagnosed with puepurium psychosis. A kind of mental illness that afflicts women that have just given birth and since it has been from one medication to another..

Now since after my diagnosis my husband has been a source of emotional, verbal and physical abuse... He blames my parents for everything as he feels "cheated " feeling that they knew all about my "sickness " before we got married and kept it from him.....

He felt I was a liability and feels he is too young to shoulder such... There was nothing my husband didn't do to frustrate me...

So around June this year I left my home for my father's house and have been there since, now since I have been there my husband hardly calls when he does he wants to speak with his children. He doesn't call my parents to ask about my well-being or that of his kids.

Sometimes I feel abandoned, now the issue is that the love I have for him is beginning to reduce, sometimes I feel like letting him go and starting all over. Other times I want to stay cos I think of my children's future.

As for the psychosis ALL the symptoms have gone as am typing this now I have a job with a small private school and planning to either proceed with my masters or start a nursing programme.

So please I need your advice. Should I let him go?

I think you both need to make more money to cushion the financial expenses of the child's condition. If you make this priority, the situation can be contained, the energy in the marriage and the tension can be doused.


Best of luck

There is nothing impressive about d response ! A man who basically abandons his wife after she gave birth to his child is an animal and a coward . If a woman abandons a man for any reason it’s u people that will be shouting women are not loyal , woman are not trustworthy when majority of times men will abandon women and children at the slightest sign of difficulty - how many of you will give this same advice if it was d woman that abandoned d man ?

MedicH:
Very impressive response. You are knowledgeable. Op here's the best input. Good luck

It happens in women and thank God for u that u didn't harm yourself... some don't get cured but u must be lucky.

Ur husband needs to be educated about pregnancy induced psychosis. However, do not divorce him because he has to be enlightened about this ailment.

chival:
You are so right. I have noticed there's an increasing number of men who are cold and mean, and it all stems from their upbringing. The onus falls on us to trim down the number of apathetic men by raising our boys to be compassionate and kind hearted.

Truth is, it's mostly the father that can teach that to their sons. Because children learn from what you do and not what you say.

Watching their fathers treat their mothers right will make it stick longer.

bukatyne:
Marriage is ideally 'for better for worse'.

Does not mean the parties in it will take their vows seriously.

That's why I said if the husband has not indicated interest to move on, she should try and make it work. And especially clear his mind about her family knowing about it prior.

Maybe the husband felt betrayed hence his lack of care when she needed him.

From the post its all about the husband. He is the one that needs to be educated and show compassion but somehow she should be the one to make it work. SMH

The condition is triggered by childbirth in women - it’s only when u give birth it affects u - so she couldn’t have known .

Cutehector:
But why did you keep such medical information from him before you both got married? That's not fair in my opinion.

LadySarah:
but if it was the man that got sick,the wife will take care of him.
Me i'd say do what you want.

not really. Some women also jump ship when the chips are down and disappear with another man. Some men also stick with their wives with debilitating illnesses.

pocohantas:
Your husband is only being human. Not everyone can handle a mentally ill partner, even though we all hope to have a partner who can do that for us.

Most times I have seen sick married women- they were always shipped back to their parents house for proper care. The ones with elderly kids were moved to their sons house. Nothing new there. How it changed the dynamics of their marriage is what I don't know. However, they never ended their marriages.

I'm rather surprised. Is this really you?? I had expected the usual vitriolic response from you before I read your surprisingly moderated comment.

FrLukas:
Truth is, it's mostly the father that can teach that to their sons. Because children learn from what you do and not what you say.

Watching their fathers treat their mothers right will make it stick longer.

it's the responsibility of both parents.

faithfull18:
Didn't you read where she said she was diagnosed after her second pregnancy and it's an illness that affects some women who just put to bed

I thought marriage was for better, for worst.

It’s a fallacy!!

Nothing like for better for worse!

ur husband behaved out frustration, give him another chance and forgive...

Alooone:
I got married to my husband in 2013, we are blessed with 2kids (a boy and a girl)

In 2017, barely 2 weeks after giving birth to our son I was diagnosed with puepurium psychosis. A kind of mental illness that afflicts women that have just given birth and since it has been from one medication to another..

Now since after my diagnosis my husband has been a source of emotional, verbal and physical abuse... He blames my parents for everything as he feels "cheated " feeling that they knew all about my "sickness " before we got married and kept it from him.....

He felt I was a liability and feels he is too young to shoulder such... There was nothing my husband didn't do to frustrate me...

So around June this year I left my home for my father's house and have been there since, now since I have been there my husband hardly calls when he does he wants to speak with his children. He doesn't call my parents to ask about my well-being or that of his kids.

Sometimes I feel abandoned, now the issue is that the love I have for him is beginning to reduce, sometimes I feel like letting him go and starting all over. Other times I want to stay cos I think of my children's future.

As for the psychosis ALL the symptoms have gone as am typing this now I have a job with a small private school and planning to either proceed with my masters or start a nursing programme.

So please I need your advice. Should I let him go?

Yes. He doesn't love you no more

Did you ask NL before marrying him?
Why have NL suddenly turned to your marriage counsellor

Alooone:
I got married to my husband in 2013, we are blessed with 2kids (a boy and a girl)

In 2017, barely 2 weeks after giving birth to our son I was diagnosed with puepurium psychosis. A kind of mental illness that afflicts women that have just given birth and since it has been from one medication to another..

Now since after my diagnosis my husband has been a source of emotional, verbal and physical abuse... He blames my parents for everything as he feels "cheated " feeling that they knew all about my "sickness " before we got married and kept it from him.....

He felt I was a liability and feels he is too young to shoulder such... There was nothing my husband didn't do to frustrate me...

So around June this year I left my home for my father's house and have been there since, now since I have been there my husband hardly calls when he does he wants to speak with his children. He doesn't call my parents to ask about my well-being or that of his kids.

Sometimes I feel abandoned, now the issue is that the love I have for him is beginning to reduce, sometimes I feel like letting him go and starting all over. Other times I want to stay cos I think of my children's future.

As for the psychosis ALL the symptoms have gone as am typing this now I have a job with a small private school and planning to either proceed with my masters or start a nursing programme.

So please I need your advice. Should I let him go?

sassysure:
Childbirth stopped me from putting on my sòpido. Had to give all out. A nerve connecting one leg from the hip was severed and my ankle down to the tendons are bearing the blunt. And when u look at the said foot, it look so normal. If I over stress it, it will start shaking and I will be in severe pain. Sometimes I feel like cutting off that foot Though, an operation can correct it.

That's why when I see threads where men are spewing rubbish about changes on their wives body that made them want to misbehave, I feel like plucking their eyes off
They don't know half of what women pass through to bring a life into this world.

@ bolded, please what does it mean?

And if it can be corrected by an operation, any reason why you haven't yet? Pardon my inquisitiveness

Bahddo:
it's the responsibility of both parents.

And did I say it wasn't?

Alooone:
I got married to my husband in 2013, we are blessed with 2kids (a boy and a girl)

In 2017, barely 2 weeks after giving birth to our son I was diagnosed with puepurium psychosis. A kind of mental illness that afflicts women that have just given birth and since it has been from one medication to another..

Now since after my diagnosis my husband has been a source of emotional, verbal and physical abuse... He blames my parents for everything as he feels "cheated " feeling that they knew all about my "sickness " before we got married and kept it from him.....

He felt I was a liability and feels he is too young to shoulder such... There was nothing my husband didn't do to frustrate me...

So around June this year I left my home for my father's house and have been there since, now since I have been there my husband hardly calls when he does he wants to speak with his children. He doesn't call my parents to ask about my well-being or that of his kids.

Sometimes I feel abandoned, now the issue is that the love I have for him is beginning to reduce, sometimes I feel like letting him go and starting all over. Other times I want to stay cos I think of my children's future.

As for the psychosis ALL the symptoms have gone as am typing this now I have a job with a small private school and planning to either proceed with my masters or start a nursing programme.

So please I need your advice. Should I let him go?

Please forgive him, and give him a second chance.

ThierryJay:
I'm rather surprised. Is this really you?? I had expected the usual vitriolic response from you before I read your surprisingly moderated comment.

even a broken clock is correct twice a day.

Pataricatering:
There is nothing impressive about d response ! A man who basically abandons his wife after she gave birth to his child is an animal and a coward . If a woman abandons a man for any reason it’s u people that will be shouting women are not loyal , woman are not trustworthy when majority of times men will abandon women and children at the slightest sign of difficulty - how many of you will give this same advice if it was d woman that abandoned d man ?

Get the fvck out with this nonsense dog. You are too to warrant any exchange from me.

faithfull18:
Exactly, the women always @ the receiving end of everything.

Ailing parents and parents in-law, the woman does the caring but when the woman needs care...hmmn.

She clearly needs help but she is the one who needs to mend fences and assure the husband. If the roles were reversed. They will talk about how the woman is insensitive

In side Life Sha........Wicked world.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrraEgts8to

Your husband should be the one asking us if he should leave you or not and not you his wife who is somehow mentally I'll.
To me remain there you are his wife,marriage is for better or worst.I pray for you madam by the reason of the blood of Jesus Christ you will get well and your husband will continually love you and your kids.Amen

Push your parents to make a reconciliation moves by meeting his parents to negotiate. Now that the sickness is out of it, give your marriage a second try.

Consider your kids, forget/forgive his shortcomings

MedicH:
Get the fvck out with this nonsense dog. You are too to warrant any exchange from me.

Truth hurts eh

Jaqenhghar:
Truth hurts eh

What truth sorry?