₦airaland Forum

Blackmiserable:
Men do not need to love you to have sex with you.


It sounds degenerative and depraved, but sadly, it's true. Love, respect and sex are different things to, not just men but people. A man may love, adore and respect is wife, fulfill marital obligations to a T and yet have mistress outside. deal with that act - women are object of desire to men and some men want several objects. Is it greed? Maybe!

Do prostitutes need love to have sex with clients? Sorry, they don't.

I don't dispute that a man can have sex without love. I also do not dispute that a man can fulfill his martial obligations to his wife & family and have mistresses outside.

My point is that a man CANNOT love, adore and respect his wife and still cheat on her.

So your question might now be 'how many men really love, adore and respect their wives'?

Blackmiserable:
Let me get you straight. Polygamous men never love their first, second or third partner? Is lack of love the reason they added wives?
Delusional. Lmao.

you see, sadly you are missing the whole point here.... you have the audacity to compare a cheating man with a polygamous man, as if there was any relevance here. polygamous men dont cheat because they are having sex with their WIVES... and this has nothing to do with love, and all to do with marriage.

by all means, let me educate you on the subject: POLYGAMY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LOVE
just because a polygamous man has multiple wives does NOT mean he loves any of them, does it? and unless the 1st wife gladly/willfully ACCEPTS that polygamous arrangement then you cant possibly talk about love. sadly, many women into polygamy have NO CHOICE when it comes to 2nd/3rd or 4th wives... they can either accept it or be quiet.

these women are NEVER asked their opinion because the man they married dont care about it....but hey, i guess thats "your" idea of love, right?

Blackmiserable:
Men do not need to love you to have sex with you.


It sounds degenerative and depraved, but sadly, it's true. Love, respect and sex are different things to, not just men but people. A man may love, adore and respect is wife, fulfill marital obligations to a T and yet have mistress outside. deal with that act - women are object of desire to men and some men want several objects. Is it greed? Maybe!

Do prostitutes need love to have sex with clients? Sorry, they don't.

you are missing the whole point again....yes many people out there dont need to love someone to have sex with them.... but if that action would knowingly hurt their partner then do you think they will still do it (if they actually love their partner)?!?!?!?

MrBrownJay1:
you see, sadly you are missing the whole point here.... you have the audacity to compare a cheating man with a polygamous man, as if there was any relevance here. polygamous men don't cheat because they are having sex with their WIVES... and this has nothing to do with love, and all to do with marriage.

by all means, let me educate you on the subject: POLYGAMY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LOVE
just because a polygamous man has multiple wives does NOT mean he loves any of them, does it?

It doesn't mean he loves any of them? Why marry them then? He has to love them for something or for some benefits else he wouldn't marry them.

MrBrownJay1:
and unless the 1st wife gladly/willfully ACCEPTS that polygamous arrangement then you cant possibly talk about love.

If I may ask, what is love to you? A burning desire? Respecting spouse's opinion? What if I declare my marriage open (wifey can sleep with whomever she wants) and she does agree to the arrangement, do we say we love each other? If I or she (whoever) goes ahead without the other's approval, do we say there's no love on account of this disagreement? Couples have disagreed on many things and I don't think I understand what you're trying to pass across as love and respect.


If I tell my wife say na yam we go chop and she insists we eat beans, does it mean we cannot disagree like adults and still love each other?

bukatyne:
I don't dispute that a man can have sex without love. I also do not dispute that a man can fulfill his martial obligations to his wife & family and have mistresses outside.

My point is that a man CANNOT love, adore and respect his wife and still cheat on her.

So your question might now be 'how many men really love, adore and respect their wives'?

You didn't answer me with regards to polygamy. What metrics do we use to gauge someone who really love, adore and respect their spouse? You mean a man CANNOT love, adore and respect his wife and still lust after other women or marry another woman? A man cannot love his first wife above the other women he married?

Blackmiserable:
1. You didn't answer me with regards to polygamy. What metrics do we use to gauge someone who really love, adore and respect their spouse?

2. You mean a man CANNOT love, adore and respect his wife and still lust after other women or marry another woman?

3. A man cannot love his first wife above the other women he married?

1. By the way they treat them.

2. No, he can't. Can he be tempted? Maybe. However, he will always remember his vows due to the love and respect he has for his wife.

3. No. A second wife is usually married because something is missing in the first, (real or imagined) and/or Greed.

I might make exceptions in case of marrying a second wife due to childlessness but again, the man can decide to stay without kids, adopt or get a surrogate mom.

Maybe I should ask your definition of love and respect.

Blackmiserable:
It doesn't mean he loves any of them? Why marry them then? He has to love them for something or for some benefits else he wouldn't marry them.

come on bro, this is Nigeria we are talking about....marriage rarely has to do with love, and has ALL to do with SOCIETY/FAMILY/RELIGION. many seek for marriage not because of love but simply because marriage in Nigeria is a "status" symbol. marriage means HAPPINESS in Nigeria, marriage means SUCCESS in Nigeria, marriage in Nigeria is everything, thats why even when someone is as successful as Linda Ikeji or Seun Osewa, deluded people would still ask them to:"go and get married"

If I may ask, what is love to you? A burning desire? Respecting spouse's opinion?

LOVE to me is everything.... respect, honesty, care, affection, bond, companionship, sex, desire, family, life etc... and finding that person with the same desires as you do.

What if I declare my marriage open (wifey can sleep with whomever she wants) and she does agree to the arrangement, do we say we love each other?

if this is the type of r/ship you guys have and thats what you BOTH desire for yourselves, then by all means do what you gotta do. the catch here is that having sex with other people wouldnt HURT your partner since she is ok with such act (from the get go), and you wouldnt have to crawl at the dead of night (like a thief) to cheat.

If I or she (whoever) goes ahead without the other's approval, do we say there's no love on account of this disagreement? Couples have disagreed on many things and I don't think I understand what you're trying to pass across as love and respect.

if you love that woman, why would you try to do something that is against the wellbeing of your r/ship? thats certainly aint love!

If I tell my wife say na yam we go chop and she insists we eat beans, does it mean we cannot disagree like adults and still love each other?

dont compare food with the basic foundations of any union.... when people get married they make a bond to love care respect and be truthful to one another. these are marriage foundations that are sacred and SHOULDNT be messed with. on the other hand, eating amala instead of KFC is just tweaking of living together with someone. you guys may not be the same, but you will try to make it work, so long as the foundations are not violated.

if/when the foundation are violated/removed, then each person need to re-evaluate their stand as to whether they want to keep being with their partner. the foundation of marriage is EVERYTHING! you cant possibly build a marriage on RESPECT/TRUST/HONESTY/CARE/LOVE etc and then cheat and think that nothing will/should happen.

MrBrownJay1:
- the home has already been destroyed (by the husband)
- better for children to have 2 happy parents that dont live together, than 2 miserable ones living together
- why stay married to this useless man if she needs another one to shine her honey pot?
- do you believe every woman is a slut like their cheating husband
- when the husband finally catch a deadly disease from these oloshos and die, do you think there will be peace and joy?

Brother I understand but both sides cheating does not mean they are unhappy,sexually they are not fitting.

Is not reason to end marriage.
Each finds best person to shine the fakafiki.

Man is cheating he's happy
Woman is cheating she is happy
No.more complaints on the house.

They also.use condoms with eachother so no disease

In the end everybody happy, shidren happy.No break up homes.

oyoolima:
Brother I understand but both sides cheating does not mean they are unhappy,sexually they are not fitting.

Is not reason to end marriage.
Each finds best person to shine the fakafiki.

Man is cheating he's happy
Woman is cheating she is happy
No.more complaints on the house.
They also.use condoms with eachother so no disease
In the end everybody happy, shidren happy.No break up homes.

you are wrongly ASSUMING that because a man is a cheater, so his wife wants to be one as well...thats like saying:"because your partner is an idiot or dumb, your should become an idiot/dumb too".... come on, it makes no damn sense! you should never lower yourself and do something that you are against.

crackhaus:
That's undercover ho advice.

Easy to spot.

Who?

Gift7428:
Who?

You.

Shouldnt ho's be with ho's?
Life should be all about balance.No one feels cheated.

crackhaus:
You.

Gift7428:
Shouldnt ho's be with ho's?
Life should be all about balance.No one feels cheated.

Indeed.

I like how you didn't try to deny it was ho advice.

I understand the kind of Nigerian man you are.
I wont stress on the ho issue.
Overflogged.

crackhaus:
Indeed.

I like how you didn't try to deny it was ho advice.

Gift7428:
I understand the kind of Nigerian man you are.
I wont stress on the ho issue.
Overflogged.

Lol..
Just the same way I already understood the kind of Nigerian woman you are by your first comment...the kind who feels a woman should whoré herself as payback to a cheating husband.

So yea, we quite understand each other, don't we?