₦airaland Forum

Foodqueen:
The truth is that, that lady isn't pregnant. It's a plan with her friends to scam you, and you have already fall to their scam.

My advice:
Tell her you want to follow her to the hospital for confirmation
Tell her you want a DNA
Tell her you want to see her mother.

I just tire that people still fall for this old classic scam

I hope you will see my comment,
First of all,have a one on one with ur girl friend,if u really love her, tell her since that you guys are getting married that u have a secret to her then open up to her then what ever happens u should be the responsibility.
But I tell u is good for you to tell her the truth now

OP please always know that nobody can force you to be part of what you dont want to be .Since you already told her you have no interest in the child then it is up to her, stop wasting your time and money ,since you gave them 100k they want more now .Try to lure she and her sister with some money get her arrested take her to the hospital and do a test on her. You will be so surprised she was never even pregnant ,just look for a female police officer give her small 20k (so you can have rest of mind once and for all ) show her the alert you used to send the 100k (she might even recover the initial 100k you paid ) this will scare that gold digger off for life

Private chart me, I will help you.

Keep that secret to yourself... if possible take it to the grave alone.

Openbusiness:
Don't tell her. Go ahead, propose to her and marry the love of your life. Maybe in future, after things have settled in between the 2 of you and your kids have grown, then you can open up and tell her you have a love child somewhere because of a very foolish mistake. I don't support abortion and glad your baby mama didn't have it. In some years to come you will be glad too. Whatever you do, don't abandon your love child, find time to be part of his or her life, even if secretly for now. Pay the bills as much as you can help, and have them name the child after your surname, not theirs. It might all look like a mistake, but look at King David, it was Solomon his love child that God chose to be King of Israel after him. King Solomon was a love child, and he became the wisest king in human history. Be wise. And most of all, change your ways. Stop being a Yoruba demon please Congratulations in advance. God bless your new baby, and God bless your nurse wife.

This your advice get as e be
The first part is annoying but the second part is a masterpiece.

Jeffmonti:
My concern is what my girlfriend will do to herself, if she leaves I’ll have my self to blame and move on. if i have my way i will pay child support to for the child when he/she come out after a DNA test of course. But I’ll never marry a desperate woman. I was thinking of calling Lola on another phone and set up a meeting to let her i know I’ll pay child support. But not sure if i should wait for the child to be born first or just do it today. I have been really restless for many weeks.

Brothers learn from my mistakes abeg

Though am not in support of your unfaithfulness, but i agree with you that she is so desperate and even deceitful, she fully knows you have a fiancee, agreed to often have a casual sex with you, when pregnancy set in, she started with she can't have anything to do with you but must keep the baby because of her age, later went to her friend who advised her to force her belongings into your home, started demanding for money, later had the money with the agreement to remove the baby but is still keeping it.
How are you sure she wasn't the one that asked her sister to call you?
Nigga these lady still have many packages for you, she is mean, forget her pretence.
She is even lucky to catch a man that has a reputation to cover in her web, if not she wouldn't have needed any advice to remove the baby.
My advice for you is to confirm she still have the pregnancy, when confirmed break the shameful news to your fiancee and embrace whatever consequence from it(if she wants to go, let her go)
DON'T EVER marry your baby mama no matter what. I am so much into this because i have a similar story. i despise decietful, pretendtious and desperate women.

Bobo you don enter am...coz most girls outside dey find husband seriously ooo..na your money she go take buy baby cloth

u cant hide that from her cos girls are really funny , all i think u should do is to tell her plead with her do all ur possible best tho is going to be difficult for her to accept surely she might consider u, girls sha dont she have a bf, y didnt see took pills, if she rili dont want to get pregnant. u rili bleeped up too y unproctected u didnt evn consider ur good girlfriend..... too painful ,i just pray she terminate that pregnancy that will be the best way.... sorry dear take heart.

Trust has left the building. She will NEVER trust you again

Calm down for awhile before taking any decision, to prevent mistakes.
Don't promise any thing. Wait and see the child first. Man up , be strong

chigoizie7:
When I have the strength, I will come back to advice you.

Meanwhile let me discharge this girl that came over, I no Bleep again. Your story touch me. Few minutes of ecstasy with lifetime regrets and guilts. I no get babe ooh.

lmao.. stupid man, you must finish what you started.

Jeffmonti:
About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help!

This might turn out to be a lengthy read, please bear with me. The bashing and insults will be unnecessary as i have already told myself hurtful things a thousand times over.

So i am 29 and have a girlfriend who’s 25 we are both graduates; she’s a nurse and i am a practicing engineer and we’ve been dating for 3+ years now and preparations are underway to tie the knot this year God willing. Something happened last year, she suggested i move to a bigger apartment so that we can start buying household items and everything necessary to start a home as we are looking to get married soon which we did; i got a bigger place, met her parents she met mine. In a nutshell everything seems to be going well, we even started a business together and set to take on the future together before the devil struck (i take blames for my actions as i am not overly religious)

Around June last year, i met a girl (very fine girl) in the new area i moved to, although i have been seeing the girl around but one day as i was driving in i saw her hiding somewhere close to my compound avoiding the rain with her friends so i took them in until the rain subsided we exchanged contacts and started texting on WhatsApp a few days later. And soon after we started having sex (protected sex), prior to that time i never cheated on my girlfriend.

The sex continued, up to 2 times a week sometimes 3 as it was relatively easy as she lived very close and my girlfriend only visits on the weekend and never sleeps out (she’s from a very good and wealthy family with proper moral upbringing). Most evenings when return from work conji just do me one kind i don cross street other times she calls until we became comfortable having unprotected sex

So late October 2019, the new girl (I’ll call her Lola) texted me that’s she’s not feeling too well and i asked her to visit the hospital to run a test to know what to treat. She came back with a pregnancy test result proving she’s already 3 weeks pregnant, i was sure it was mine but i didn’t panic as she had a bf and i have my gf we were just for the sex at least that’s what we told each other.

So i asked her to remove the pregnancy, but got the shocker when she said she’s never going to remove the pregnancy that she’s 27 and have no desire to marry me or stay with me but she’s going to have the child. Omo my heart flipped. I begged her for like 3 weeks until she got mad and stopped taking my calls, she even moved away from her apartment. So i texted her and arranged a meeting, we sat down and discussed at length but she was still bent on keeping it, i got furious and told her i am not ready to be part of the child’s life if she’s going through with it as i see no reason why she wants to have my child when she knows we are NEVER going to be together, that was when she said she had already told her family that i am not interested in the child and they support her to keep it and let the child bear their family name. I discussed the matter with two friends a boy and a girl and the asked me to let her have the child first.

One month passed fast forward to early December, Lola called 6 times i was so shocked. I couldn’t take her calls. She texted that she’s ready to terminate the pregnancy since i am wicked and unconcerned she rained all manner of derogatory words but i was only concern with her decision to let go. I called and we agreed to meet the following day, I skipped work that day and met with her and her elder sister and elder sister’s friend. The sister and her friend were so mean but i was unmoved; i don already fuckup and ready to take anything to let it all go away because the knowledge of things will destroy my girlfriend.

So Lola entered my vehicle and we drove out, on our way to the hospital for her to terminate the pregnancy plus treatment she’ll take afterwards and for the damages i have caused her. She’s going to need 150k from me, i was furious and told her i don’t have that kind of money talk less of handing it over to her for something like this (i sure don’t know what i cost but i know it’s not up to 50k). She said if i don’t give her what she want she’s going to have the baby and that i should be thankful that she’s coming up with this that if she had listen to her friends advices she would have moved to my house with all sort of troubles (she was right) but i didn’t give in just yet. I dropped her off and ask her to have the child that am not going to give her the money as i don’t have it (I get the money sha).

So two days passed, she called again and after many arguments we agreed at 100k, made her to sign a NDA not to bother me again and all, I transferred her the 100k that night, she confirmed receipt and promised to go with it the following morning and that was the last I have heard or seen or her since then, until 3 weeks ago when another of her sister called from Canada and was asking if i am Me, that she’s been seeking my contact for a while now that Lola friend had to steal the number Lola’s phone and pass it to her as Lola has been hiding my phone number from the rest of the family and she doesn’t know the arrangement i have had with her but i should know that she’s having the child, she just thought i should know that i have a child somewhere when the baby eventually drops.

Knowing fully well that i am a shitty person to have done something terrible to myself and my girlfriend and all our future plans because of cheap sex, but I’ll be a more terribly bad person to have knowledge of a child somewhere and not be in his/her life. I called Lola but she didn’t take i texted her about her sisters call she called back to know who called and was furious, she ended the call (I guess to call her sister back) and called back again in about 20mins and asked me not to ever call her line again. I replied her text she should tell her family not call me as well. I have dodged to her apartment building a coupe times but she’s not been around for weeks as i was made to believe.

So i bought a ring to engage my girl few weeks ago but had to hold first to see how things play out, i can’t go ahead and marry my girlfriend with this kind of secret untold; that will be wickedness from the pit of hell and i still don’t know how to break it to her, it will destroy her.

I jokingly painted a similar scenery to my girlfriend; her response was: she will not marry me because if she does she will kill me in my sleep. That everybody is expecting us to get married this year, she now have high respect from her family because of me and this kind of thing happens both of us will die. Omo fear catch me.

Fellow Nairalanders, this is my predicament please advice a stupid brother. Insults are welcome as I hope to pick a thing or two from your comments. MODs please push this up biko.

you are an ID�t

Explain everything to your girl but garnish it with some lies.Tell her you were drunk after having too much to drink in a party/club before the event occur

Be very remorseful.

Guy, discuss this issue with a close family member for further advisory.

Jeffmonti:
My concern is what my girlfriend will do to herself, if she leaves I’ll have my self to blame and move on. if i have my way i will pay child support to for the child when he/she come out after a DNA test of course. But I’ll never marry a desperate woman. I was thinking of calling Lola on another phone and set up a meeting to let her i know I’ll pay child support. But not sure if i should wait for the child to be born first or just do it today. I have been really restless for many weeks.

Brothers learn from my mistakes abeg

The girl that did this must be Yoruba and I think you're Yoruba too so you should know pattern of your people.

She is playing all these games with you because she and her family needs free money.

How much info did you give the girl about you?

Play the Mafia game.

The pregnancy may not be yours, after all she's been having unprotected sex with her boyfriend without getting pregnant. Why get pregnant for you?( because she wants to chop you and or blackmail you if you don't let her press your mumu button)


Bluff her bro.


Hold your girl tight, and make her see it's now a challenge between her and the gold digger.

Jeffmonti:
About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help!


Fellow Nairalanders, this is my predicament please advice a stupid brother. Insults are welcome as I hope to pick a thing or two from your comments. MODs please push this up biko.

It has happened. Since your gf feels that way, ignore Lola and go ahead with your plans. Marry her

If i were you, i will go ahead with the my life and propose to the girl i truly love, we all make mistakes at one point in life, there's no perfect life or marriage. I can say your girl is only living a fantasy, if you truly love her, i will propose to her, why wait for a stupid girl that don't know what she wants. I will propose to her and if she later find out i know we will work it out even if i have to say am sorry over and over again and prove i love her that it's devil work (you know that format) and for the other girl with pregnancy(it's her loss), just ignore her. If she keeps the baby fine and if she did not fine . Just move on with your life with the girl you love .

SUPERPACK:
FUCKGRATULATIONS.

lol. this one must be added to dictionary oo... FUCKGATULATIONS.

This one is strong oh

Jeffmonti:
About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help!

This might turn out to be a lengthy read, please bear with me. The bashing and insults will be unnecessary as i have already told myself hurtful things a thousand times over.

So i am 29 and have a girlfriend who’s 25 we are both graduates; she’s a nurse and i am a practicing engineer and we’ve been dating for 3+ years now and preparations are underway to tie the knot this year God willing. Something happened last year, she suggested i move to a bigger apartment so that we can start buying household items and everything necessary to start a home as we are looking to get married soon which we did; i got a bigger place, met her parents she met mine. In a nutshell everything seems to be going well, we even started a business together and set to take on the future together before the devil struck (i take blames for my actions as i am not overly religious)

Around June last year, i met a girl (very fine girl) in the new area i moved to, although i have been seeing the girl around but one day as i was driving in i saw her hiding somewhere close to my compound avoiding the rain with her friends so i took them in until the rain subsided we exchanged contacts and started texting on WhatsApp a few days later. And soon after we started having sex (protected sex), prior to that time i never cheated on my girlfriend.

The sex continued, up to 2 times a week sometimes 3 as it was relatively easy as she lived very close and my girlfriend only visits on the weekend and never sleeps out (she’s from a very good and wealthy family with proper moral upbringing). Most evenings when return from work conji just do me one kind i don cross street other times she calls until we became comfortable having unprotected sex

So late October 2019, the new girl (I’ll call her Lola) texted me that’s she’s not feeling too well and i asked her to visit the hospital to run a test to know what to treat. She came back with a pregnancy test result proving she’s already 3 weeks pregnant, i was sure it was mine but i didn’t panic as she had a bf and i have my gf we were just for the sex at least that’s what we told each other.

So i asked her to remove the pregnancy, but got the shocker when she said she’s never going to remove the pregnancy that she’s 27 and have no desire to marry me or stay with me but she’s going to have the child. Omo my heart flipped. I begged her for like 3 weeks until she got mad and stopped taking my calls, she even moved away from her apartment. So i texted her and arranged a meeting, we sat down and discussed at length but she was still bent on keeping it, i got furious and told her i am not ready to be part of the child’s life if she’s going through with it as i see no reason why she wants to have my child when she knows we are NEVER going to be together, that was when she said she had already told her family that i am not interested in the child and they support her to keep it and let the child bear their family name. I discussed the matter with two friends a boy and a girl and the asked me to let her have the child first.

One month passed fast forward to early December, Lola called 6 times i was so shocked. I couldn’t take her calls. She texted that she’s ready to terminate the pregnancy since i am wicked and unconcerned she rained all manner of derogatory words but i was only concern with her decision to let go. I called and we agreed to meet the following day, I skipped work that day and met with her and her elder sister and elder sister’s friend. The sister and her friend were so mean but i was unmoved; i don already fuckup and ready to take anything to let it all go away because the knowledge of things will destroy my girlfriend.

So Lola entered my vehicle and we drove out, on our way to the hospital for her to terminate the pregnancy plus treatment she’ll take afterwards and for the damages i have caused her. She’s going to need 150k from me, i was furious and told her i don’t have that kind of money talk less of handing it over to her for something like this (i sure don’t know what i cost but i know it’s not up to 50k). She said if i don’t give her what she want she’s going to have the baby and that i should be thankful that she’s coming up with this that if she had listen to her friends advices she would have moved to my house with all sort of troubles (she was right) but i didn’t give in just yet. I dropped her off and ask her to have the child that am not going to give her the money as i don’t have it (I get the money sha).

So two days passed, she called again and after many arguments we agreed at 100k, made her to sign a NDA not to bother me again and all, I transferred her the 100k that night, she confirmed receipt and promised to go with it the following morning and that was the last I have heard or seen or her since then, until 3 weeks ago when another of her sister called from Canada and was asking if i am Me, that she’s been seeking my contact for a while now that Lola friend had to steal the number Lola’s phone and pass it to her as Lola has been hiding my phone number from the rest of the family and she doesn’t know the arrangement i have had with her but i should know that she’s having the child, she just thought i should know that i have a child somewhere when the baby eventually drops.

Knowing fully well that i am a shitty person to have done something terrible to myself and my girlfriend and all our future plans because of cheap sex, but I’ll be a more terribly bad person to have knowledge of a child somewhere and not be in his/her life. I called Lola but she didn’t take i texted her about her sisters call she called back to know who called and was furious, she ended the call (I guess to call her sister back) and called back again in about 20mins and asked me not to ever call her line again. I replied her text she should tell her family not call me as well. I have dodged to her apartment building a coupe times but she’s not been around for weeks as i was made to believe.

So i bought a ring to engage my girl few weeks ago but had to hold first to see how things play out, i can’t go ahead and marry my girlfriend with this kind of secret untold; that will be wickedness from the pit of hell and i still don’t know how to break it to her, it will destroy her.

I jokingly painted a similar scenery to my girlfriend; her response was: she will not marry me because if she does she will kill me in my sleep. That everybody is expecting us to get married this year, she now have high respect from her family because of me and this kind of thing happens both of us will die. Omo fear catch me.

Fellow Nairalanders, this is my predicament please advice a stupid brother. Insults are welcome as I hope to pick a thing or two from your comments. MODs please push this up biko.

K

Jeffmonti:
About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help!


Fellow Nairalanders, this is my predicament please advice a stupid brother. Insults are welcome as I hope to pick a thing or two from your comments. MODs please push this up biko.

You seem to be a good guy so I will oblige you.
It's easy to give advice, following through is where the work is.

Good thing you took the self-defecating approach by accepting the blame and owning up like a grown up to your mistakes.

Life is all about choices so i will present you with yours;

1. You can keep this from your fiancee and life goes on. You deal with the consequences in the future. Women often take this route.

2. You can respect your marriage and share the truth with your fiancee hoping she would understand but prepared for the termination of your relationship or marriage too. You will have to assure fiancee that you've turned a new leaf.

3. Have you considered marrying "Lola" instead?

you are simply a womanizer,even if this girl should forgive you,you will still cheat on her,after marrying her,tell her the truth, if she kills you she kills you, your kind don't deserve decent girls.

I just hate seeing advises like if “she genuinely loves you”

Some are even saying garnish it with lies. Lol. Most of you must be dating dumb girls sha. If I were your girl, I would ask to set up a meeting with the pregnant girl. Na in front of me and you she go talk the full story and I won’t bother fighting her because at this point it’s not even the pregnant girl’s fault anymore.

Cheating is one thing, which some don’t even forgive but getting someone pregnant.

You can’t eat your cake and have it. Tell your babe you got someone pregnant and you can’t date her again, simple! Go and kuku marry Lola.

Jeffmonti:
Omo nor vex, I have been thinking of doing this since, as i dey toilet dey burn my Steven Keshi i just say make i share get some advice and also make other learn from my life mistake.

Another big mistake you made was giving your side chick money for the pregnancy termination. For guys that are into side runs activity, if you decide with a girl on such thing, follow her to the doctor to make sure everything is done in your presence. So sorry she diverted your 100k to another thing

You can be single and happy alone, but the moment you have a girlfriend, other women will start to show face, why are some women like this? They like to attach themselves with someone already with a girlfriend, just like they like to date a married man.

But Mr man, this your story sounds like a super story, you want to keep something secret and you bring it to nairaland for advice, how sure are you that your so called girlfriend or baby mama is not reading this thread right now?

IcraveLove:
You don't even sound remorseful for what you have done. So I will say it's good this happened, you would have cheated later on. Better she finds someone else that respect and love her.
How can you say you are planning to get married and you are cheating?
I caste and bind men like you from coming my way IJN amen.

madam which kind judgement be this naa. somebody cannot make mistake again??. it can happen to anybody, by anybody to anybody through anybody. it's not a matter of love. even a guy that loves his girlfriend can fall into cheating at a slightest mistake and will still love his girl. the next thing now how to iron things out with his girlfriend.

NGRsenate:
She signed an NDA.

Get it notarized and filed.

If she comes with any drama in future, sue her stinking ass.

Case closed.

Be a man, don’t tell your gf anything, if it’s any consolation; they can even do worse.

See advice. Can you predict the future and how an NDA would affect the relationship between a child and father if the OP wants the child later in life?

[b][/b]Good morning, thanks for all your advices. Somehow i couldn’t modify the original post but here is an update;

I was able to reach Lola yesterday on the phone, tendered my apologies on how i reacted and how things has turned out thus far, she even agreed to meet within the week for me to see her bulging stomach. Her stance was that she took the 100k to take care of herself and the pregnancy, registered for anti-natal and other necessary health obligations if that was she’s going to get from me.

She said she was never going to bother me until she has put to birth and i didn’t show up or show interest all through the period before delivery then i would have seen real madness.

Also she said her boyfriend left as she couldn’t hide the pregnancy from him and if i think this is going to cost me my relationship then i shouldn’t tell my girlfriend about it just yet as she (Lola) has not intentions of forcing marriage on me because she’s not a desperado (in her own words; she cannot manage a man so she do not want any man to manage her out of pity of situation of things to avoid domestic violence later on) so i should go ahead and marry my girlfriend.


She said she has had many disappointments in her life and this to her is a blessing, the child is her blessing and that if everybody leaves, her child is not going to leave her and many other emotional talk... (i only happen to be the scapegoat who fulfilled her cravings) She claimed she has lost many things due to this pregnancy and disappointed a lot of people, family members included but she’s going to have the child anyway. She’s even suggesting that i should tell my gf she’s a fraud that she’s trying so hard to pin this on me until i blew her cover, that’s if i already told her before. That i would not understand why it’s important that she must have the child (apparently, pastor don tell her somethings because she like church well well)

I have agreed to show minimal timely or monthly support until she delivers and carry out a DNA test, if the child is mine I’ll pay child support to the best of my ability and be in the child’s life.

As for my girlfriend i was going to marry her in August, but i have cut that out, i already to spoke an elderly family friend of ours, one she respected very well. I will break the news to her within the coming weeks (after i have seen Lola and the extend of their pregnancy) and seek forgiveness.
I will see whatever comes out of it as my fate, i probably deserve it.

For those other advises; Lola is not an option for me to marry given all that has happened, If Bae leaves of which i am having a 90% chance she will. I will spend the next couple years focusing on my career and providing for a child.

So i was thinking of informing my father, who’s my girlfriend biggest fan called him yesterday but i couldn’t even bring myself to tell him unto disappointment thing, plus i am an only son. If i tell my mom everything go just scatter, she will make trouble.

For those that think this is fictional, it isn’t. Some people make mistakes for others to learn as i have learnt from other people’s mistakes on other aspects of life. Hopefully someone will learn from mine.

Thanks again for all your words. I will keep you posted as things progresses.

AfroAgroPower:
77th liker

make you da count like

I don't know that afroagropower is jobless

Youngkingjaey1:
Haa egbon
The only advice I can borrow you is that call your pastor,cleric or close family member and explain everything to them, that they should help you to beg your gf and you have realized your mistake and make she forgive you.
And if she insist that she wan break up with
Let her go ahead, at least you try your best to tell her the truth before you engage her.

Pay your unborn child bill and look for another girl to marry. ...

Don't you think the people you mentioned have their own problems? Why must you guys always feel involving third parties is better? What stops him from privately thrashing out this issue with his fiancee?
Everything, call people to beg. He can beg her himself nau. Haba. Must they wash their dirty linens to outsiders who may have bigger problems of their own?