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The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea - Literature (4) - Nairaland

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Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Culin(f): 9:02pm On Jan 20, 2020
Hi guys, thank you so much for the comments. I didn't want to reply individually cos my non-story comments were becoming too many and maybe annoying to the readers. I'm currently editing chapter 7, and it should be ready by Wednesday.

Another important thing I have to say is, I edit my work immediately after a review and lots of people on my Wattpad/Whatsapp group have been reviewing this story and will continue to do that throughout this week. So there are few edits and corrections but I can't apply them here cause it's just too stressful going back and forth Nairaland and Wattpad everytime there's a correction. I'll try to effect the important ones I can for now. But every correction will be done on Wattpad. Why Wattpad? Because I'm applying for lot of things on Wattpad with my story and I need it to be clean and acceptable. Bear with me.

Sorry for the painstakingly long post. Goodnight guys smiley

3 Likes

Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Lexy100(m): 7:49am On Jan 22, 2020
Culin, in reference to some books you offered to share the e-copies; can you please share some with me? rna4real@gmail.com
Culin:
Hi guys, thank you so much for the comments. I didn't want to reply individually cos my non-story comments were becoming too many and maybe annoying to the readers. I'm currently editing chapter 7, and it should be ready by Wednesday.

Another important thing I have to say is, I edit my work immediately after a review and lots of people on my Wattpad/Whatsapp group have been reviewing this story and will continue to do that throughout this week. So there are few edits and corrections but I can't apply them here cause it's just too stressful going back and forth Nairaland and Wattpad everytime there's a correction. I'll try to effect the important ones I can for now. But every correction will be done on Wattpad. Why Wattpad? Because I'm applying for lot of things on Wattpad with my story and I need it to be clean and acceptable. Bear with me.

Sorry for the painstakingly long post. Goodnight guys smiley
Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by millieademi: 9:46pm On Jan 22, 2020
Is there going to be an update?
Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Culin(f): 2:01am On Jan 26, 2020
millieademi:
Is there going to be an update?

cry coming right away. Sorry for the delay.
Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Culin(f): 2:02am On Jan 26, 2020
CHAPTER SEVEN - An Abortion.

Expectation is the root of all heartache - William Shakespeare

ENITAN

When I asked if he had called off the wedding, a little part of me hoped for a miracle. His silence felt like a blow to my chest. I felt stupid for letting myself have a glimmer of hope.

Clearly, I was on my own. Having his baby won't change that. But what did I expect, that he'd break off the engagement and pick me?

I laid underneath the sheets, deep in thought. The sound of an animation on TV played in the background, but it failed to distract me. My eyes remained fixated on the beeping heart monitor, till past five in the evening when Tanya sneaked in.

"Did someone die in here?"

I turned my head to the door and saw the gleaming smile plastered on her makeup free, yet beautiful face. Her short figure wobbled from the door to the middle of the room, causing the black wavy hair extension to bounce over the grey turtleneck sweater. With one hand on her hip that was outlined by the blue fitted jean, she swayed her curves in an exaggerated catwalk towards the sofa, then dumped her hand bag on it.

I couldn't help the half smile that crept up my face. Tanya depicted sunshine on a cloudy day and everyday I thanked God I met her during our National Youth Service in Adamawa.

"You're late."

She smiled. "Is that an 'I miss you' I hear?"

I adjusted my position, so I now faced her.

"Bunny-" I sighed.
I wished she could read my mind and feel the emptiness in my chest. I contemplated on telling her about the pregnancy, but my brain still processed the news and I struggled to sort out my feelings about taking my life. I didn't want her to influence my decision, so I kept shut.

"Sad much? I brought you something to cheer you up. A new phone! I had a friend of mine in computer village deliver it over the weekend," She reached for the bag on the sofa.

"What's this?" She asked. Walking to the small bedside cabinet.

I peeped at the top of the cabinet but couldn't see what she asked about.

"Wow. They're discharging you, why didn't you tell me?"

"What?" I asked, confused. But my eyes spotted the white envelope in her hands and I panicked.

"Tanya don't," I warned. But it came too late as she already ripped off the seal and opened it like a Christmas gift.

"Why is a lab test lying around careless- Wait. Oh my God!" She screamed, with a hand covering her mouth while the other held the paper as she stared eyes wide at it.

I hate you Jameel. I mentally face-palmed. He must have forgotten the test results there after Nathan interrupted. What if Nathan had seen it?

"I'm going to be an aunty and a godmother!" She jumped and screamed, excited.

"Tanya please sit."

"Dear baby, please be a girl," She rubbed my flat belly, I looked at it too, it didn't feel a living being was growing inside of it. She rambled on about her plans for the baby.

I closed my eyes and my mind drifted to space, her voice faded into a distant babble. My head ticked, like a time bomb with only three seconds left.

"I'm not keeping it," I blurted out.

"What!" Her eyes grew the size of a baseball.

"I'm not keeping the baby," I said. This time, confidently. My eyes opened but did not meet hers, still I felt the heat of her gaze.

"Are you insane?" She flared up. "Are you thinking straight right now?"

"I don't know what to do Tanya. I'm so lost!"

"How can you not know what to do? You're an adult who had unprotected sex! What did you expect would be the result, confetti and balloons? Certainly you must have known and prepared for the outcome."

I glowered at her, but she seemed unfazed, so I spoke.

"If I keep the baby, what next? Nate doesn't even want me anymore. He won't want this baby. I can't do this by myself,"

"Babe! What makes you so sure, have you told him?" She asked, curiously.

"No. But he was here today and-"

"Nathan was here?" She asked, surprised.

"Telling him about a baby now would only make me look desperate. It won't change his mind."

"Look, this child's future is more important than your pride and fear of rejection. Call him now. Or I will."

"Good luck with that."

Assured that Tanya had no way of getting Nathan's phone number, I rested on my back and closed me eyes to think of my predicament.

"Uh." She groaned. "Why is he not picking up?"

My eyes instantly flung open and locked with Tanya's. What the hell? She stood, holding a small leather book I recognised as my phonebook. "Oh this," she waved the book. "I thought you might need it so I picked it from your drawer."

To hell with where you picked it from.
"What are you doing?" I asked. My heart beat faster than a Konga drum.

"Calling the father of your baby, before you do something you'll regret," she answered, unconcerned.

"It's not your place to do that!"

"Yeah. It's not my place. You always say that but end up thanking me for saving your reckless ass," She said, as a matter of fact.
She was just two years older than me yet, she acted like my mother. It pissed me off.

She dialled the number countless times without an answer on the other end. Unfathomable waves of disappointment crashed over me. But was that not what I wanted? For him not to know? So why did it feel like a shredder just spitted out my heart?

"Know this. I'm not giving up," she said. Her voice laced with determination. She sat on the bed, her back against me, as she surfed through TV channels.

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Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Culin(f): 2:03am On Jan 26, 2020
Tanya's plan to contact Nathan failed, both of his numbers never went through after the first night of trying. I worried about his safety, but a week after his visit to the hospital, pictures of his traditional introduction to his Fiancée graced the covers of magazines and blogs. And along with it, the announcement of the official wedding date. It shattered me. So I made up my mind to cut off everything that reminded me off him, even if it meant his baby too.

****
Hours turned into difficult days. Thanks to my family, Tanya, Lisa and Jameel, who turned the hospital room into a flower garden and balloon showroom, I managed to drag myself on and abolish thoughts of suicide. As my health improved, the nurses stopped the daily penta injections. The stitches and leg brace were removed. Surprisingly, My father took the news of the pregnancy well, despite the potential negative impact on his reputation as a church elder.

Jameel's visit every evening, after work hours became a routine, the only one that kept me sane. He brought me flowers and almost everything on sale at the mall. He always bade goodnight with a kiss on my forehead and I never rejected him, because somehow, I felt safe with his kiss. The lie I told myself to ease the guilt that he reminded me of Nathan.

Two weeks after I'd found out about the pregnancy, the hospital's management signed my release form, with a few drugs prescription from Dr Jameel. I returned to my apartment in Ikeja, with Tanya as my nanny.

******

On the third night of my return, sleep eluded me again, due to the insomnia that now tormented me. I rested against the headboard of the queen size bed, as my laptop rested on my stretched out legs. I searched for details and contacts of any abortion clinic online. I got the information after being redirected to several numbers to verify my identity.

I suddenly developed cold feet and began to second guess my decision. It didn't take long for all the bad memories of the past five to six weeks to hit me. I copied the phone number and address on a piece of paper, closed my laptop and laid on the bed. While Tanya slumbered, I waited impatiently for dawn.

The next morning, at some minutes past eight, I alighted the Uber, blocks from my destination. The dirty and thug-filled environment only increased the uneasiness in my gut. I walked toward the end of the street, where I sighted the small illegal clinic disguised as a pharmacy. I reached the transparent glass pane doors, slid them open and walked in.

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Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by millieademi: 3:20am On Jan 26, 2020
Thanks for the update.

1 Like

Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Culin(f): 11:40am On Jan 26, 2020
millieademi:
Thanks for the update.

Lol, I don't even know what to say. Thanks for being amazing. Next update will be on Wednesday. Wednesday is Wednesday this time around. Lol.

Btw, how do you update soooo many chapters in a short time? Haaa. embarassed Please tell me the secret.
Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by millieademi: 7:46pm On Jan 26, 2020
Culin:


Lol, I don't even know what to say. Thanks for being amazing. Next update will be on Wednesday. Wednesday is Wednesday this time around. Lol.

Btw, how do you update soooo many chapters in a short time? Haaa. embarassed Please tell me the secret.

Will be expecting it.

Lol.


I don't know. I guess I just love you guys so much it pushes me to write more often.

1 Like

Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Ann2012(f): 8:16pm On Jan 26, 2020
Enitan, pls don't abort

Thanks for the update
Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Culin(f): 9:23pm On Jan 27, 2020
millieademi:


Will be expecting it.

Lol.


I don't know. I guess I just love you guys so much it pushes me to write more often.

cheesy Cool. I think I feel that way these days with you and Ann2012 on my neck for an update. Now I'm scared to disapoint.

2 Likes

Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Culin(f): 9:25pm On Jan 27, 2020
Ann2012:
Enitan, pls don't abort

Thanks for the update

Ahn Enitan hope you've heard. Well, we'll find out on Wednesday. Uwc dear.

2 Likes

Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by millieademi: 8:59pm On Jan 29, 2020
No update?

1 Like

Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Ann2012(f): 9:24pm On Jan 29, 2020
OP!!!!! Where art thou
Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Culin(f): 11:52pm On Jan 29, 2020
Rest in peace, Kobe and Gianna Bryant, and the seven others who died alongside them. May God comfort their families.



Chapter Eight - What were you thinking?

“There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

Nathan

Just like every morning since the introduction, I woke up with a splitting headache. I massaged my forehead to ease the ache. Instead of relief, my mind floated back to the events of the past week and it worsened.

Discovering that my trusted mother had faked her heart attack a month back, just so I could move to the family house and have my movements monitored, angered me. The fact that she tried to fake another one to keep me from moving back to my apartment, made me shake my head in repulsion. She let herself become a pawn in my father's hands.

Worse, thoughts of Enitan filtered through my mind and troubled me. I knew the wedding date announcement ruined any little hope left for my redemption. The feeling that I owed her an explanation gnawed at my chest, it took all my self-control not to drive to her house when Everest informed of her release from the hospital on Tuesday.

I dragged myself out of bed, took some pills for the ache and had my bath. With the intention to work from my 'Foxtrap' office for the day, I casually dressed in a navy blue odd vest on sky blue shirt, blue jeans and a grey Chelsea boot. I walked down the stairs while I fastened the leather wristwatch to my wrist.

"Good morning Mr. Nathan. There's a woman outside insisting on seeing you." Maureen, the housekeeper's voice brought me to a standstill.

That crazy obsessed wedding planner lady. Even after I ditched my private line to avoid hers and Annabelle's incessant calls, she still came to the house?
Or could it be Annabelle? Her flight details showed her return for next week.


"Everest." I nodded. Knowingly, he walked out to confirm the identity of the caller.

"She came here throughout last week, she stopped when I told her you moved out," My housekeeper said.

"And you didn't see the need to inform me even after I returned?"

"I'm sorry sir. I just thought it was one of those girls coming to cause trouble after hearing of your wedding plans."

I glared at her. Everest's interruption saved her from my wrath.

"I think you may want to see this, sir," he said.

I picked my leather bag and headed outside the house.

"Tanya?" I asked, in shock.

She stood in pyjamas and her face showed she skipped her bath before coming.

"How are you here?"

"There's something you need to know, before it's late. I don't care about whatever messed up love game you and my friend got going on."

"T. Can you just go straight to the point?"

She blew out air, then spoke, "Enitan is pregnant."

I went blank. I must have misheard her.

"Enitan is pregnant. She's been talking of an abortion since she found out about the baby, and this morning, I found this paper on the dresser. She's getting rid of it."

I don't recall how I snatched the paper from her hands and jumped into the SUV. I'd always been an advocate of safe driving, but I found myself driving to the mainland like a psychopath with a death wish. I drove while my fingers drummed impatiently on the wheels, I bashed the cars in the annoying traffic jams and honked at anything that stood in my way.

Over an hour later, the GPS navigator showed the named pharmacy just a hundred and fifty-five meters away. I drove into the street and soon enough, the pharmacy came into view. I jumped out of the car without turning off the ignition, praying to God that I met her in time. I'd never forgive her, or myself if something bad happened to my child.

1 Like

Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by millieademi: 1:04am On Jan 30, 2020
Nice but very short o
Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Culin(f): 3:39am On Jan 30, 2020
Chapter Eight Contd

I dashed into the empty pharmacy. "Enitan!" I screamed.

I heard some shuffling, then she emerged from an inner room looking shaky and in shock. Beads of sweat ran down her face. I drew her into an embrace but her hands remained by her side, most likely out of shock and confusion.

"Baby! Please tell me you've not-" my throat constricted and I couldn't bring myself to say the word.

I felt her head move in my arms, so I pulled away and held her by the shoulders. My eyes asked the question again and she shook her head, slowly from side to side. Relief washed over me and I pull her back in for another hug. For a moment I feared I'd crushed her in my arms, because her fragile and weak body sank further into my body.
I held her hand and led her out of the pretend pharmacy. I made a mental note to deal with the so called doctor later.

I secured her in the passenger's side of the SUV with the seatbelt and half ran to the driver's side. I got in and turned on the AC system. I clutched my head and laid it back on the headrest. We stayed quiet for what seemed like hours, but in reality only five minutes. I sighed, raised my head from the headrest and drove out of the street.

"What were you thinking?" I asked, calmly, as we got back on the major road.

She clasped her hands and kept silent. At intervals, I glanced at her but she looked straight ahead through the windshield, her face betrayed no emotions.

"You can drop me off here. I'll find my way home." Her voice faint, but I caught on.

My turn to keep silent.

"This is not my route. You're headed for the Island, drop me off here." Her voice grew louder.

I looked for a safe zone and parked the car. I unfastened my seatbelt and turned to look at her.

"Thank you." Immediately, she made for the door, but I activated the central lock with one click, trapping her inside. When the door refused to bulge, she turned and shot me a deadly look, the first eye contact she initiated since we left the pharmacy.

"Let me out Nathan."

"Oh. She speaks."

She groaned and mumbled incoherent words. I wanted her to stay and talk to me, I didn't care if I had to provoke her for that to happen.

"What were you thinking, Enitan? You could have gotten yourself killed in there."

"At least it would have been by a random stranger," she replied, then turned to me sharply. Her expression dared me to argue the unsaid part of her statement.

I slammed my fist against the dashboard, frustrated. "I get it, Enitan. I get it. I messed up your life and you hate me. But what you did was outright crazy, too crazy, even for you!"

She snapped back at me. "I never asked you to come Nathan. I never told you I was pregnant-"

"Quit the lie. Tanya already told me. How do you think I got to you?"

"Even if I were, who told you the baby is yours?" She folded her arms.

I busted into strings of frustrated laughs and shook my head.

My face hardened. "When did you start indulging in hard drugs Enitan?" I asked, every hint of seriousness in my tone.

"You and I both know, I was your first, last and only. So go ahead. Tell me the baby you're carrying isn't mine."

She kept silent and began to pull the strap of her dark green mini bag.

"Yeah, right." I revved the engine back to life, without unlocking the doors. I drove out of the pavements and back onto the road.

"Where are you taking me? Just drop me off here. You've done enough."

"Drop you off? So you can go do something crazy to our Child?"

"Our?" She scoffed, "You're getting married in four bloody weeks. All I know is my child and I. There's no 'our'. You're the last person I want to see or be around. So Nathan Adakole, unlock this car right now and let me out!"

"I get it that you can't stand me. But you're carrying my child. If you think I'll be a deadbeat father or irresponsible to let you out of my sight, think again, young woman."

"I have a family and job to get back to!"

"You don't need a job. You can call your family whenever you want to, I'm not kidnapping you."

"Then where the hell are you taking me?" She asked, almost screaming.

"My house."

I gave her no chance to protest, I turned on the music to drown whatever argument she planned to make. Not glancing at her direction, I drove straight to my apartment in Victoria Island.



A/N: Thank you for reading. Prefer to read on Wattpad or just want to support me? Here's the Wattpad link to this story. Don't forget to vote and comment. <3

https://my.w.tt/2r8IICOWE3

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Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Ann2012(f): 7:26am On Jan 30, 2020
I just hope this action of Nathan doesn't put Enitan in harms way...

Thanks for the update
Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by millieademi: 7:42am On Jan 30, 2020
Loved it dear. kiss

Is it possible we get more or do we have to wait till next Wednesday?
Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by millieademi: 7:44am On Jan 30, 2020
Ann2012:
I just hope this action of Nathan doesn't put Enitan in harms way...

Thanks for the update

Abi o.

I doubt Eni will forgive him if he (by extension his parents) cause her to lose her baby.

1 Like

Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Culin(f): 8:38am On Jan 30, 2020
Ann2012:
I just hope this action of Nathan doesn't put Enitan in harms way...

Thanks for the update

I just hope so too.
Thanks for your comments Ann!

1 Like

Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Culin(f): 8:43am On Jan 30, 2020
millieademi:
Loved it dear. kiss

Is it possible we get more or do we have to wait till next Wednesday?

I'm trying to emulate you now tongue So I'll tryyyyy with all my might to update Chapter 9 by Sunday. Then the usual Wednesday update.
Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by millieademi: 8:51am On Jan 30, 2020
Culin:


I'm trying to emulate you now tongue So I'll tryyyyy with all my might to update Chapter 9 by Sunday. Then the usual Wednesday update.


Lol

Thank you love. More strength.

1 Like

Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Culin(f): 9:05am On Jan 30, 2020
millieademi:



Lol

Thank you love. More strength.

Thank you!

1 Like

Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Khriztarl(f): 9:48pm On Jan 30, 2020
Khriztarl didn't comment for quite some time now and no one got bothered its aiit..
hmmm nathan.. *speechless*
Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by micskales(m): 9:15am On Jan 31, 2020
Pls can I get a PDF of this book. If it's possible let me know.
Thanks.
Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Culin(f): 2:33pm On Jan 31, 2020
micskales:
Pls can I get a PDF of this book. If it's possible let me know.
Thanks.

Oh oh, this book is still a work in progress, so a PDF is not available. smiley
Thanks for the request though.
Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Culin(f): 2:36pm On Jan 31, 2020
Khriztarl:
Khriztarl didn't comment for quite some time now and no one got bothered its aiit..
hmmm nathan.. *speechless*

Sorry nau kiss no fex. Welcome back.
Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Khriztarl(f): 2:49am On Feb 01, 2020
Culin:

Sorry nau kiss no fex. Welcome back.
Thank you..
Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by millieademi: 1:43pm On Feb 02, 2020
Culin:


Thank you!

Expecting today's update, o.

1 Like

Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Culin(f): 2:04am On Feb 05, 2020
millieademi:


Expecting today's update, o.

Hmmm. So sorry. My morale was low, couldn't write zilch. Viewers are not helping matters sef. 5.4k views, yet it's just you and 3-5 other people who are active on this page, it's not encouraging at all. Anyway, next update is ready. I'll upload much later if or when I wake up in the morning. Thanks for your unwavering support.
Re: The Wall Between Us. A Novel By EneChelsea by Culin(f): 8:17am On Feb 05, 2020
For those who may be wondering. Any text in italics (like the text above) represent thoughts. Whenever you see that, it means a character is thinking.


CHAPTER NINE - The Lies You tell

"The love we give away is the only love we keep." - Elbert Hubbard

Song 'Wait' - By Maroon 5


ENITAN

Seated in the dimly lit room next to the medicine store, I watched as the man who introduced himself as the doctor arranged some tools with an impassive look. My hands trembled as he handed me the worn-out plastic gown and entered an adjoining room I assumed was the theatre.

I stood up to change into the gown, but my legs sank back into the wooden chair - like they weighed a metric tonne. My stomach churned, and I struggled not to puke on the cement floor.

Dear God, please give me a sign if you want me to keep this child.
Had the situation been a funny one, I'd have laughed at the ludicrous prayer.

I was drawn to the pattering of footsteps as the front door slid open.

"Enitan!"

Nathan? How?

Adrenaline surging within me, I walked to the conjoining door and, before I could confirm his identity, he pulled in a hug and I buried myself further.

Oh God. You sent me a sign.

"Babe! Please tell me you haven't-" He didn't finish before I bobbled my head, too weak to speak.

Minutes after I settled in his car, I felt less nauseous, relaxed. But every statement and question of his got me riled.
I needed to get out, somewhere far away from him. But he had his own plans, refusing to let me out.

Calm down and breathe. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale - Argh! I hate you Nathan.

'His house'? The nerve!

I'd only look stupid if I yelled over the deafening blast of Burna boy's 'On the low' playing from his car's sound system. So I cursed and grumbled in my head.

****
We left the bustling suburb behind. As we drove into the quiet estate of white flat-roofed duplexes, separated by short fences and black slatted steel gates, he parked in front of his apartment, unbuckled the seatbelt and turned to me.

"So," he said, shifting in his seat.

So?

He opened the door and dropped a foot out. "Are you coming along?"

Coming along? I never wanted to come here in the first place!

I folded my arms across my chest, making no attempt to exit the car. He withdrew his stretched foot into the car, cupped my jaw with his large hands, tilted my head and adjusted my gaze towards his hypnotic eyes.

Not today Nathan, don't look at me that way.

I turned away, but he held it again. This time, gently while his thumb stroked my cheek, spreading warmth to my face.

"I'm sorry, I had to bring you here. I just want us to talk and take care of this together."

I gave a throaty laugh. "Now you want to 'talk and take care of it together'? What happened to 'this is more complicated than you can understand'?" My fingers threw air quotes.

"A baby is now involved! Look, Eni- can we at least go in and get you settled in first? I have some important business to handle at 'FoxTrap'. I promise we'll talk about this when I get back."

I became agitated. Why should he mess with my emotions? He got engaged to another woman, abandoned me in the hospital only to show up three weeks later, asking for a chance. Then disappeared to start his marriage rights the following week. Now he had me sitting in front of his driveway against my will, talking about going to work when he planned to keep me away from mine.

"What do you want from me Nathan? What?" I asked, in a whisper.

"Babe-"

He leaned towards me, but I recoiled, instinctively. That didn't stop him from drawing closer, though. Watching his face close to mine, his lips now inches away from my eyes, I heard his slow-paced breath. Could he hear mine too? It would be embarrassing if he knew my chest thumped - that he still had a hold on me after all I'd suffered. I held my breath, struggled not to visibly inhale the sweet rose fragrance of his cologne.

What is wrong with me? Hanging out with him for long always turned out a bad idea. He should have dropped me off hours ago when I was in a state of shock. Now, I couldn't stop noticing his beautiful form. I just needed to focus on the chaos my life had become. He was the cause of my problems, he put me in this mess.

"-For now all I want is for you to go inside, have a warm bath and a good rest until I return." The door to my side suddenly pushed open, my seatbelt unhooked. He smiled and moved back, adjusted his shirt sleeves and alighted the car. I released a deep breath. A second extra, I'd have needed a defibrillator.

"Asshole," I muttered. Good-looking asshole.

I alighted the car and matched his steps. Cool air and the familiar scent of lavender hit me the moment I stepped into the house. Memories flooded my mind, shattering my heart.

Standing in the living room, I felt unwelcomed, a complete stranger, even though nearly all my weekends and holidays were spent here. I paused to admire the way the brightly lit chandelier illuminated the large lilac walls and grey drapes, like I'd never seen the beautiful sight before.

"Come." He held my hand and led me upstairs. I followed him like a puppet. "You know, I never unpacked your clothes from the closet. Maureen had them all wrapped up in plastic garment bags," he said, when we arrived the lounge upstairs.

Why did the discovery that he kept my wears excite me?

"But if they don't fit, you can use my shirts and sweatpants for now-"

I tilted my head and gave him a quizzical look. "Are you calling me fat?"

"What!" He paused, looking confused. Then he raised his hands. "No, no," he stuttered, "I mean- just in case of baby weight-" he laughed nervously, an act which earned him a harder stare.

Merely two months gone, he called me fat!

"Does it even matter? To me, you'll always be beautiful and perfect, even if you do become fat," he said, raising my chin to meet his gaze.

Almost swooning, I reminded myself of reality. He only brought me here because I carried his child. I needed to focus on my life which was a disaster. I'd always dreamt of a perfect life - a good job, a loving husband who'd pamper me throughout my pregnancies. One who'd be the best father to my kids. But here I was, way off course. A potential babymama, discussing weight gain with my soon-to-be married ex and babydaddy.

"Yeah, it doesn't matter. What do I care anyway?" I replied, dejected.

"Ok. I'll see you in a few hours. Food will be delivered to you in a short while." He rushed down the stairs, after which I sank into the plum furniture.

Oh no! Which room did he intend for me to stay? He ran off before I asked the awkward question. I laughed at the idea of sharing the master bedroom with him.

He would be getting married in four weeks. Take your clothes from his room and find your way to where babymamas belong.

I walked into his room, my bare feet enjoying the feel of the lush rug. My eyes wandered towards the large platform bed covered in grey sheets and duvet. My eyes turned away, burnt by images and memories best forgotten. I ran to the walk-in closet, searched some compartment till I found my clothes, packed a few and made to leave.

But something elsewhere drew my attention. Unthinkingly, I walked towards it.

A pair of lingerie that weren't mine hung loosely from one of the compartments of the closet. I gently lifted the clothes on the shelf, gowns, shirts and more lingeries came into view. My eyes lazily moved to nearby compartments, where a strawberry perfume, makeup pouch and other feminine items sat. I knew, without a doubt, they belonged to Annabelle, his wife-to-be.

Liar.

He claimed he would be marrying her against his will, yet he had her sleeping over at his place, when all the while, I laid in agony on the bed of the hospital.

You're just the babymama, focus on yourself and your baby. Not his kind gestures.

I walked out of the room without a second glance, towards the farthest guest room. We'll have the talk he so wanted whenever he returned. Then, I'd get my life back together and move on just the way he had moved on.

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