₦airaland Forum

The Legendary NwaAmaikpe,
After you, na you! Nobody is sicker!
Concerning this issue, you have spoken well. I really pity that husband who has been so unlucky to have married a lady like that. I don't wanna judge cos no one is a saint. While the perfect description of most of us is IMPERFECT, I think we should be truthful enough to expect consequences of our imperfections sometimes in life. That's only natural.
Face your music, lady. The worst probably hasn't come yet. Only God Almighty can and also can

NwaAmaikpe:




You are such an ingrate.
Do you know how many of us that wish that our partners were cool with our exes.

You have the prospect of a 3some on a platter and here you are complaining about a gift from God.

But this does not add up.
If x+10 = u ≤ 40%

Where 10 is your present spouse,
x is your ex
While you are u.
And u is less than in an optimal state.

Then what is y?

Y is simply that you did your ex bad.
He was a great guy but you schemed him away for your present husband out of greed and an addiction for cheating.

I know this because,
You feel sooooo uncomfortable with your ex around. You feel an indescribable amount of guilt each time you see him and it feels like you are staring at Karma in human garb.

For your husband to be that nice to your ex means that
Your husband knew you were cheating on your ex with him. He knows your ex didn't deserve that wrong, this explains why he feels obliged to set him up on life.

So it is either that he is a man of great conscience or a man who needs your ex as an ally to know the true you and decipher all of your trickery for him to feel this indebted to your ex.

Or even better.
Your husband and your ex may be gay and your ex is using this as his best revenge.

But one thing is certain.
You were two-faced and bad to your ex....this is why the bible says that the wicked runs when NOTHING is chasing them.

Get over it, what will be, will be.
This is because I've just found out from your previous post that your ex isn't really an ex but your best and most loyal patron in your prostitution days.

You owe him, an agreement is an agreement.
Your husband is a proper gentleman so he should understand this too.
I don't think your husband will even mind because someone who brings home his wife's ex and someone who marries a hoe doesn't expect much out of marriage.

My only prayer is that your husband is forever able to meet his financial, emotional and sexual obligations because water will surely find it's level.

What do I even know, over to Lalasticlala and the other elders.

Conspiracy theorist I salute you o

NwaAmaikpe:




You are such an ingrate.
Do you know how many of us that wish that our partners were cool with our exes.

You have the prospect of a 3some on a platter and here you are complaining about a gift from God.

But this does not add up.
If x+10 = u ≤ 40%

Where 10 is your present spouse,
x is your ex
While you are u.
And u is less than in an optimal state.

Then what is y?

Y is simply that you did your ex bad.
He was a great guy but you schemed him away for your present husband out of greed and an addiction for cheating.

I know this because,
You feel sooooo uncomfortable with your ex around. You feel an indescribable amount of guilt each time you see him and it feels like you are staring at Karma in human garb.

For your husband to be that nice to your ex means that
Your husband knew you were cheating on your ex with him. He knows your ex didn't deserve that wrong, this explains why he feels obliged to set him up on life.

So it is either that he is a man of great conscience or a man who needs your ex as an ally to know the true you and decipher all of your trickery for him to feel this indebted to your ex.

Or even better.
Your husband and your ex may be gay and your ex is using this as his best revenge.

But one thing is certain.
You were two-faced and bad to your ex....this is why the bible says that the wicked runs when NOTHING is chasing them.

Get over it, what will be, will be.
This is because I've just found out from your previous post that your ex isn't really an ex but your best and most loyal patron in your prostitution days.

You owe him, an agreement is an agreement.
Your husband is a proper gentleman so he should understand this too.
I don't think your husband will even mind because someone who brings home his wife's ex and someone who marries a hoe doesn't expect much out of marriage.

My only prayer is that your husband is forever able to meet his financial, emotional and sexual obligations because water will surely find it's level.

What do I even know, over to Lalasticlala and the other elders.

Fixed:
Politely?

Madam, there lies the root of your problem. Your heart is still very much with your ex. In fact, this same reason is why you don't want him around you so as not to refuel the undying flame despite the fact that you already had a child for your husband in 2018. From your old thread, I would rather say you were double dating instead of saying prostituting; having an affair with your now husband and seeing this your ex then. What more is there if you called someone an ex and you were still sleeping with him, business as usual.

To look for how to dispense him politely means you respect him and wouldn't want to hurt his feelings. If you truly need a solution then I am sorry to tell you that only a radical approach will get him off your back. A radical approach towards him and towards your husband.

I will suggest you try out the following somewhat polite ways:

1. Report him to his fiance since he is getting married and to all the people you know that can talk sense into him. At least you should know them while you guys dated. I expect the fiance to appreciate this though it must be carefully handled so it doesn't backfire.

2. If your husband has not gotten the full story of your relationship with this ex, then it is time to divulge the information in a manner that will not hurt his feeling.

3. Have a heart to heart talk with your husband and let him know that he is courting trouble by going close to the guy. He should suspend any assistance being offered forthwith. See to it that there is no direct help coming from your husband to him. He should not sponsor the wedding.

4. If your husband does not yield to your pleading, look for someone he respects to counsel him.

5. Whenever, your ex comes around lock your door. If he finds his way in, do something very drastic in your husbands presence. Show him he is not wanted around you.

6. Report him to police that he constitutes a threat to your life.

There are 1,001 impolite ways to send him away. Some will sound like comedy while others will be totally outrageous. But I leave them to you to think about when you are truly ready to break free from him.

When I met my husband my ex was oversea. He came back after my wedding so nothing like double dating. To my knowlege, he doesn't have a fiacee yet. He's not in a relationship.

Your husband is fully aware you are or about to be fùcking your ex and he likes it

SifonAbasi:
Good morning friends.

Please how can I politely stop my ex from visiting my home?

Yesterday was the third time my husband returns from work to meet my ex in our house.

After the incident that happened between us, my ex started coming closer to my husband and they became distance friends.
My husband invited him to our child's naming ceremony and that was how he got to know our house.

Eversince then he has been visiting and I am not comfortable with it.
I told if he must come he should come when my husband is around.

Please what should I do?

Advice; From your narrative, you are afraid been taken aback inlove with him and same time been caught if you fall. * Be strict with your decision* Your husband should first be on the know, Don't open your gate for him talk more of door when your husband is not around..... thank me later.

But if you wish to shit, take it outside your matrimonial home ooooo....Hmmmm

SifonAbasi:
When I met my husband my ex was oversea. He came back after my wedding so nothing like double dating. To my knowlege, he doesn't have a fiacee yet. He's not in a relationship.

It's either both guys are fùcking each other and want u to join in or your husband is a freak that gets a thrill from another man fùcking his wife.

Yes, such men exist.

But be careful o!

jaxxy:
Not every ex is a terrible person. Aslong as ur ex was good to u when u were dating and even after and now Ure married and he’s meet ur husband and no longer interested or disturbing u for anything I don’t see any problem here.

For ur husband to still associate with him despite all u told him only means he understand the kind of man he is and knows he isn’t as bad as u think and carries no bad intentions towards u guys. That is a good thing.


I have also gotten to know a cool guy just cos he was dating my ex(kinda) and how we got talking was pretty ackward bt we have a decent conversation and he explained his serious intentions towards her and he didn’t mind us being frnds. Quite unusual bt I respected him for that and even stopped calling or chatting the gal. I chat with him more and we discuss biz together so I don’t see so much negativity in this Aslong as ur ex respects ur marriage and has moved on. Cheers.

Sometimes you people talk anyhow and use instances that are not the same as example. If you read the first thread as far back as 2018, you will understand that this demonic ex has no respect for her marriage, has no respect for her or the husband. Him coming back now despite how the issue in 2018 was handled shows that he has ulterior motive. So you telling this lady that it’s nothing shows you’re not sincere.

Maybe ur husband want cuckold . U never can tell

SifonAbasi:
Yes. We hard an issue last two years that leads to their union.
Read my first thread on this forum you will know what happened.

The issue must be hard indeed.

SifonAbasi:
I have done all these and my husband told me not to worry. For my ex, I told him if he must visit he should come only when my husband is at home.

Seems like your ex is very charming and charismatic for him to get your hubby to like him.

Okafor's law in action

CyberWolf:
Sometimes you people talk anyhow and use instances that are not the same as example. If you read the first thread as far back as 2018, you will understand that this demonic ex has no respect for her marriage, has no respect for her or the husband. Him coming back now despite how the issue in 2018 was handled shows that he has ulterior motive. So you telling this lady that it’s nothing shows you’re not sincere.

Probably I missed that part. I responded based on the info I read sofar bt if her ex still habours any ulterior motives then he must be a lunatic bt I don’t think that’s the situation yet.

Then I ask why also is the husband being so nice to her ex? What cud be his reasons? because he’s the one responsible for all this frnds associations.

Honestly i fault your orientation, first you don't need to be polite about it, when someone is trying to ruin your destiny for you, you're thinking about humour?? You've no idea, until the yawa go gas, don't think your husband is not aware, that's he's quiet and acting cool doesn't make him less human... You will be shocked to your toes when he catches you in action with the man. Kick him out now, he is clearly there to ruin your marriage don't be polite about it. Save your yourself and your marriage.

If you tell us the truth, you will see that there's already some form of reaching and crossing of boundaries, see old flames easily catch fire �
Let's not deceive ourselves

You can't be taking such risk being with a man that have slept with you before alone in a house?? He's feeling welcomes that's why he's coming back, beyond your words add action, don't open your door let him go back and come back when your husband is back, when he's treated like this twice that tiny demon will leave him...

Kick him out and keep him out

SifonAbasi:
Good morning friends.

Please how can I politely stop my ex from visiting my home?

Yesterday was the third time my husband returns from work to meet my ex in our house.

After the incident that happened between us, my ex started coming closer to my husband and they became distance friends.
My husband invited him to our child's naming ceremony and that was how he got to know our house.

Eversince then he has been visiting and I am not comfortable with it.
I told if he must come he should come when my husband is around.

Please what should I do?

Your husband is the biggest fool of all time.

SavageMaster:
You were not aware of his visit. Did your husband preinform you the guy was coming? If the answer is NO, then you should have kept him outside, let him stay there till your husband arrives. That way, you would have sent a clear message to him and your husband as well.

Take it a step further. Let him.be meeting your husband in his office, and not in your matrimonial home, since it's business matters they're discussing. Or is your husband up to something else?

We are both from the same LGA. My ex and I are fpom the same hometown while my husband from 3villages away.

jaxxy:
Probably I missed that part. I responded based on the info I read sofar bt if her ex still habours any ulterior motives then he must be a lunatic bt I don’t think that’s the situation yet.

Then I ask why also is the husband being so nice to her ex? What cud be his reasons? because he’s the one responsible for all this frnds associations.

Any man that visit a woman has an end in man to sleep with her PERIOD.

No man flexes with any lady he's has not slept or imagined sleeping with, you've no business looking for exclusivity with someone's wife or any woman you don't have interest in...

You want to chat with a friend look for a single woman, you don't have fine one and build your relationship with the person.

The Lady as much as the guy know the relationship is not healthy why play around with it, the guy knows he can get the lady just a matter of time the Lady knows that already why waiting till it happens, it's good you share your experience here to get help but beyond this add action, you already know what to do, STOP thinking of how to do it, JUST do it. KICK HIM OUT

RisenPhoenix:
Run ke? Shey she will not settle her debt? She's a debtor ni. Read her first post on the forum.

@op. I'm willing to bet anything that your husband has no idea of the debt you're owing your ex. You only told your husband that your ex was helping you financially out of the goodness of his heart abi?

Women are the mistresses of half-truths and pretence sha. When I say men sgould only marry virgins they will be shouting upandan.

Ahahan why dont you finish reading her initial thread. The hubby knew about it all, she did come out clean.

CyberWolf:
Sometimes you people talk anyhow and use instances that are not the same as example. If you read the first thread as far back as 2018, you will understand that this demonic ex has no respect for her marriage, has no respect for her or the husband. Him coming back now despite how the issue in 2018 was handled shows that he has ulterior motive . So you telling this lady that it’s nothing shows you’re not sincere.

Exactly, I read that thread back then and now this, that ex is out for something.

This one is not ordinary eye.

Which sort of obsession or evil is this.

jaxxy:
Not every ex is a terrible person. Aslong as ur ex was good to u when u were dating and even after and now Ure married and he’s meet ur husband and no longer interested or disturbing u for anything I don’t see any problem here.

For ur husband to still associate with him despite all u told him only means he understand the kind of man he is and knows he isn’t as bad as u think and carries no bad intentions towards u guys. That is a good thing.


I have also gotten to know a cool guy just cos he was dating my ex(kinda) and how we got talking was pretty ackward bt we have a decent conversation and he explained his serious intentions towards her and he didn’t mind us being frnds. Quite unusual bt I respected him for that and even stopped calling or chatting the gal. I chat with him more and we discuss biz together so I don’t see so much negativity in this Aslong as ur ex respects ur marriage and has moved on. Cheers.

Whenever he visits and I told him my husband isn't around, he will tell me he's aware that my husband too is aware he is in my house. After asking me about my baby he doesn't talk to me again. He will concentrate on watching tv. He doesn't have my number and doesn't ask for it. My am not comfortable with his presence.

jaxxy:
Probably I missed that part. I responded based on the info I read sofar bt if her ex still habours any ulterior motives then he must be a lunatic bt I don’t think that’s the situation yet.

Then I ask why also is the husband being so nice to her ex? What cud be his reasons? because he’s the one responsible for all this frnds associations.

In the previous thread, the lady always ask for help from this her ex and the ex requires for sex before helping her. So the last time, this lady asked for help as usual and the ex requires for sex as usual but she told him that she is seeing her period, he said ok and gave her the help she asked for with promise that she must come back for the sex when her period is over. So when the period was over, she called him that she is ready but he told her that he is not in town. She okay whenever you come back, let me know.

This ex didn’t call her again till after 4 months, he called her with a foreign number, tell her that he was outside the country for a course, that she should remember her promise, she said okay[b][/b]. So when the ex finally came back after 2 years, this lady (OP) is already married. The ex called and told her that she should come and fulfill her promise, OP told him that she is already married so it’s not gonna be possible. The ex said even if you’re married, you must come and have sex with me per our agreement, OP begged him that she will pay him back his money with interest, but the ex refused so, that’s when OP came here and she was advised to get her husband involved ASAP and that’s what she did. Below was how the husband handled the issue:

[b] Good afternoon my good people of Nairaland. Happy Sunday!

Yesterday after a dinner with my husband, I told him everything about me and my ex.
My husband asked me a lot of questions concerning my ex like "Where's he from? What's he into? How did we meet?" A lot of questions about him. I was very honest with him and told him everything. Even told him that he (my ex) disvirgined me.

After telling him everything, my husband response was "okay". I noticed his countenance changed.

He sat for few minutes in the sitting room then went to the bedroom and slept.

Normally we always pray before going to bed no matter how tired we are but yesterday my husband went to bed without praying and I was scared to ask him why he didn't pray.

Early this morning he was moody. He told me not to make breakfast that we will eat when we returned. He went into the restroom had his bathe then dresses up and I did same.

My husband face wasn't bright. We entered the car, he started it and we drove off.

While on the road we were both silent. All of a sudden he diverted from the church route to another route. I wanted asking him where we are heading to but I remained calmed.

Before I could know it, I saw him heading to my village road. I pee on myself. I asked him where we are heading to he told me not to worry.

I began begging him with tears in my eyes. He increases the volume of the car's radio just to distract me.

After 45mins drive, we arrived my village and he asked me to show him the guy's compound so I took him there.
We met the guy's mother, we greeted her then my husband told her everything I told him.

The old woman begged us to forgive her son. My husband collected the guy's number and called him in his mom's presence.
My husband was friendly on the phone. He thanked my ex for the help he rendered to me then told him to send his acct number that he will send him back his money.

My ex told my husband not to bother that he was just helping me as a friend.
That he is sorry, he thought I was joking when I told him I'm married.

My husband gave the phone to his mom and the old woman spoke with him (my ex) and warned him to stay away from me that I am a married woman.

My husband collected the phone and told my ex that for the help he offered me, he (my husband) is going to sponsor his wedding from start to finish whenever he (my ex) is ready to marry.

My husband also told him that his (my ex's) name will be on the police watchlist in case anything happens to his wife.

My ex was begging and promised never to hurt me.

We left their compound to my father's compound, greeted my mom and we headed back to the town.

On our way home, my husband was smiling all through and gave me the car to drive.

We branched an eatery to have our lunch and he bought me my favorite.

We just arrived home not quite long [/b]

So that’s how the husband and the ex became friends. Who in his right senses does that?

NwaAmaikpe:




You are such an ingrate.
Do you know how many of us that wish that our partners were cool with our exes.

You have the prospect of a 3some on a platter and here you are complaining about a gift from God.

But this does not add up.
If x+10 = u ≤ 40%

Where 10 is your present spouse,
x is your ex
While you are u.
And u is less than in an optimal state.

Then what is y?

Y is simply that you did your ex bad.
He was a great guy but you schemed him away for your present husband out of greed and an addiction for cheating.

I know this because,
You feel sooooo uncomfortable with your ex around. You feel an indescribable amount of guilt each time you see him and it feels like you are staring at Karma in human garb.

For your husband to be that nice to your ex means that
Your husband knew you were cheating on your ex with him. He knows your ex didn't deserve that wrong, this explains why he feels obliged to set him up on life.

So it is either that he is a man of great conscience or a man who needs your ex as an ally to know the true you and decipher all of your trickery for him to feel this indebted to your ex.

Or even better.
Your husband and your ex may be gay and your ex is using this as his best revenge.

But one thing is certain.
You were two-faced and bad to your ex....this is why the bible says that the wicked runs when NOTHING is chasing them.

Get over it, what will be, will be.
This is because I've just found out from your previous post that your ex isn't really an ex but your best and most loyal patron in your prostitution days.

You owe him, an agreement is an agreement.
Your husband is a proper gentleman so he should understand this too.
I don't think your husband will even mind because someone who brings home his wife's ex and someone who marries a hoe doesn't expect much out of marriage.

My only prayer is that your husband is forever able to meet his financial, emotional and sexual obligations because water will surely find it's level.

What do I even know, over to Lalasticlala and the other elders.

Sifonabasi, all I can deduce from this comment is that, your husband might be a gay, so he went for one that's closest to you so you won't suspect him(them). But you can still prove Nwamaikpe wrong

Mizwisdom:
I'm sure you didn't bother to read her previous thread about this man. He has been sleeping with her for any favor he grants even while dating her husband. This was happening while she was single and he still continue asking her for sex even as a married woman. Don't you think he needs a violent approach to teach him a lesson? how can he have the guts to sneak into her family through her husband?,he's still demanding for sex and she's physically weak to resist him..she will soon give in again, that's why I suggested it. that's a good way out of this mess

I have never slept with him while dating my husband. He was outside the country before I met my husband.

SifonAbasi:
When I met my husband my ex was oversea. He came back after my wedding so nothing like double dating. To my knowlege, he doesn't have a fiacee yet. He's not in a relationship.

How did you know all these informations about him, clearly you've been having some "Decent" intimate conversation outside work you shouldn't be involved in whatsoever...

My dear you've made that mistake but you can correct it now, don't entertain a man that's not your husband inside alone, leave the people telling you is nothing, they wouldn't tell you the battles and struggles they face inside and how many times they misbehaved but because they're not caught they say it's nothing but you and I know, each time spent with him creates a bond, guess what, even if you're quarreling, arguing or having normally innocent conversation, bond is created. Now tell me why would you want to create a bond with a man who is not your husband, my dear you don't need that kind of confusion and emotional turture.

Save Yourself and save your marriage
KICK the Guy Out nobody will do it for you, your husband will not do it for you, he expects you to respect him enough to do it yourself... He's watching and observing from a distance, men are Logical Beings.

Add Action

NoToPile:
Exactly, I read that thread back then and now this, that ex is out for something.

This one is not ordinary eye.

Which sort of obsession or evil is this.

I’m telling you and OP needs to handle the ex dangerously and violently if not, he will keep coming back.

na2016:
Such a dumb and stupid comment.
@sifonabasi, eyeneka mmi, I hope you open up to your husband that this guy was your ex and that you are not comfortable with him around. Any sensible man, will not want an ex to be around his wife!

He is aware.

I wouldn't waste my time advising the op.
Something doesn't add up. Both from the fomer and present story.
But if this story is true then that ex.hands are not clean.
The op's husband is not using his normal senses to act.
I am so worried for the op because this guy is playing out a script he has fully written all by himself. He has fulfilled part 1 by bringing the most important person (hubby) of his target (op) closer to himself.
The end of the story may not go well. Is either the op becomes the victim or the family as a whole becomes his victim.

Beware! Beware! Beware! OP . Brace up for what is ahead.
For me, is either my husband chooses me or my ex. He can't have the both of us

SifonAbasi:
Good morning friends.

Please how can I politely stop my ex from visiting my home?

Yesterday was the third time my husband returns from work to meet my ex in our house.

After the incident that happened between us, my ex started coming closer to my husband and they became distance friends.
My husband invited him to our child's naming ceremony and that was how he got to know our house.

Eversince then he has been visiting and I am not comfortable with it.
I told if he must come he should come when my husband is around.

Please what should I do?

Tell your husband you are not comfortable with him around too often.

Posterity will be kind on you afterwards.

Ehimen4God:
How did you know all these informations about him, clearly you've been having some "Decent" intimate conversation outside work you shouldn't be involved in whatsoever...

My dear you've made that mistake but you can correct it now, don't entertain a man that's not your husband inside alone, leave the people telling you is nothing, they wouldn't tell you the battles and struggles they face inside and how many times they misbehaved but because they're not caught they say it's nothing but you and I know, each time spent with him creates a bond, guess what, even if you're quarreling, arguing or having normally innocent conversation, bond is created. Now tell me why would you want to create a bond with a man who is not your husband, my dear you don't need that kind of confusion and emotional turture.

Save Yourself and save your marriage
KICK the Guy Out nobody will do it for you, your husband will not do it for you, he expects you to respect him enough to do it yourself... He's watching and observing from a distance, men are Logical Beings.

Add Action

Did you bother to read the OP? Her husband brought the ex home after all that has happened which he is full aware, so he should be the one to get rid of him.

Madam it's a plan deal between your husband and your so called ex. Your husband allows him to come around to see if you've truly changed from your old lifestyle. That's the reason why he's OK with him coming around....

If I may ask,when you guys were dating what was the relationship like?who broke up the relationship and what were the reasons.This will determined my advice.no lies please.

SifonAbasi:
Good morning friends.

Please how can I politely stop my ex from visiting my home?

Yesterday was the third time my husband returns from work to meet my ex in our house.

After the incident that happened between us, my ex started coming closer to my husband and they became distance friends.
My husband invited him to our child's naming ceremony and that was how he got to know our house.

Eversince then he has been visiting and I am not comfortable with it.
I told if he must come he should come when my husband is around.

Please what should I do?

relocate

SifonAbasi:
He is aware.

Below is how you will handle this issue, be firm and resolute while at it and be ready to absorb whatever that will come out it.

CyberWolf:
Trust me, that your ex is out on a revenge and he won’t stop until he destroys you and your husband. He wanted to get his payment as both of you agreed last time but felt your husband stood in his way so now what will he do?

He will get close to your husband and try to win his trust, once he has achieved that, he will activate the 2nd phase. It’s a well planned operation and he seems to be succeeding by getting closer and closer to your husband.

Very soon, your husband might start trusting more than you and that’s when he will likely activate the phase 2, whatever it is. Now that your eyes are still clear, stand your ground and make it clear to your husband that you don’t want him around your house.

If your husband insists on him coming, tell him that he should choose between you and her and be ready to accept the consequences, that is ending the marriage.

That your ex is a dangerous idiot and he needs to be handled in a dangerous way. Also warn him to never step his foot in your house whenever your husband is not around even if it means pouring him hot water. Get his mother involved too. Be fast about it or else it will be too late for you.

If you like, take the advice, if you like be soft and stay there, you’re the one that will suffer the effect of your negligence at the end.