₦airaland Forum

OlawaleBammie:
In 2002 we we wanted to do our common entrance, Dos fine fine gal in my class come see me with cigarette wey i pick for ground(tho make i no lie na smoke a bin wan smoke the cigar before, its been long i had bn smoking mat and paper and i had d opportunity to smoke the real cigar wen i saw it on ground)

see as dem dey shout my name in the street dat i want to smoke cigar..chaii i nearly die bn the kind of brilliant and reserved boy i was/am. i just had to go home prematurely and started crying...ahh Wale no worry e go better na.

stubbornman:
Mine was the day I went to my Crush's lodge during my school days , outside her lodge was this very big tree so we stood under it and was discussing and lovey dovey stuff suddenly I heard people shouting and running, me sef con dey wonder before could say "I have the video" Snake fall on top my head from the tree fall for ground.... baba if you see the take off wey I apply Usain Bolt got nothing on me..... That was the last time I visited her... I cut off the evil friendship!!!

dancok:
Me

SultanOfPuna:
Ok, mine is weird but I'll say it anyway

One afternoon I saw one hungry Ant strolling on its own, so I placed a cube of sugar on its way.
The Ant stopped, first check the sugar to know if it is real or fake.
Then started giving the sugar some good licking.
After few seconds the Ant stopped licking then decided to go back and inform his ant friends to come and join him with the Huge Cube of Sugar He discovered..

When I saw the Ant rolling with his niggas coming back to devour the sugar, I quickly removed the sugar before they arrived.
When they arrived they saw nothing.
The Ant felt so embarrassed infront of his Bros as they insulted him for lieing to them
About finding Sugar..
Since Then, none of his Ant homies trust him anymore
I hope that Ant has not comitted Suicide due to depression

SultanOfPuna:
Ok, mine is weird but I'll say it anyway

One afternoon I saw one hungry Ant strolling on its own, so I placed a cube of sugar on its way.
The Ant stopped, first check the sugar to know if it is real or fake.
Then started giving the sugar some good licking.
After few seconds the Ant stopped licking then decided to go back and inform his ant friends to come and join him with the Huge Cube of Sugar He discovered..

When I saw the Ant rolling with his niggas coming back to devour the sugar, I quickly removed the sugar before they arrived.
When they arrived they saw nothing.
The Ant felt so embarrassed infront of his Bros as they insulted him for lieing to them
About finding Sugar..
Since Then, none of his Ant homies trust him anymore
I hope that Ant has not comitted Suicide due to depression

Vivonose:
Lol...when I was sleeping in church,and they asked divorcee's to stand up,that's how ur single sister stood up.lol,and my brother quietly pushed me to sit down, meanwhile my mum and other members in church were starring at me in wonder...

winkmart:
I wrote " Hey baby, it was a pleasure having you around today. You made my day and I hope you will find time tomorrow so we could have more crazee fun"


Well, I sent it the SMS to her mum

SultanOfPuna:
Ok, mine is weird but I'll say it anyway

One afternoon I saw one hungry Ant strolling on its own, so I placed a cube of sugar on its way.
The Ant stopped, first check the sugar to know if it is real or fake.
Then started giving the sugar some good licking.
After few seconds the Ant stopped licking then decided to go back and inform his ant friends to come and join him with the Huge Cube of Sugar He discovered..

When I saw the Ant rolling with his niggas coming back to devour the sugar, I quickly removed the sugar before they arrived.
When they arrived they saw nothing.
The Ant felt so embarrassed infront of his Bros as they insulted him for lieing to them
About finding Sugar..
Since Then, none of his Ant homies trust him anymore
I hope that Ant has not comitted Suicide due to depression

Shibaraba:
Me and one very fine girl dey chat for lecture theatre after I Don consume four days beans Wey I Don use warming scatter him life. Small time mess show. I dey push the mess back. Mess accumulate I come dey feel somehow. Belle dey rumble. If I wan excuse the girl she go follow. She no want make I move far. As I see say she gum me I devise plan say make I carry her go open place way people dey so even if I start to mess plenty people dey Wey she go suspect. Na so we go front I say make I release the mess sample am. As in small small release. As I relax my Yansh muscle see force wey mess take come out. Fruuuuuuuuuprapraprapra. Mess comot with full force water shit escort am. Come dey flow down my leg gently. Painful part be say everybody hear. Like say make ground swallow me. I left hanty run enter bush o. Na there I call my men make them bring change of clothes and pure water bag make I use clean up. As for class them use am yab me till I nearly die.
World famous SmG.... Sub messing Gun.
The name stuck I swear.
Stupid hanty wey we gist still follow them yab me..come go date my guy. So wetin I gain upon the embarrassment...... Nothing

Culin:
Lol, it's so embarrassing I don't even want to remember that day, talk more of sharing.

Ishilove:
Trust me, I'm not. You were probably still in primary school or JSS class when I was in 100 level.

donstan18:
I've got many, but I'll tell one.

During my 100lvl registration then in school. Any graduate or student can relate how stressful, tiring and crowded it use to be doing registrations.

It was so sunny that very day with crowd of freshers everywhere, i got tired at some point and decided to get some rest under a tree. Unbuttoned the first two buttons of my long sleeve shirt for air while getting some rest

Some minutes later, a very big yellow-headed lizard fell from the tree and found its way inside my singlet[Singlet was tucked in my jeans], I screamed so high and got the attention of 99% of students there, while trying to make way for lizard by pulling my singlet from my jean, I ended up opening another way for the lizard to jump inside my boxer. At that moment, I shouted and nervously got confused that I couldn't differentiate my prick from the lizard in my boxer because both of them were dangling and dancing around as I was screaming and rehearsing makossa dance in public, jumping around the tree shouting and behaving like a mad man. People couldn't help because they don't know how to, rather, some were laughing and shouting in amusement.

As God had it, i successfully dragged the lizard out, it jumped out, nodded its head and was there looking at me like a fool instead of running, out of anger of embarrassment, I chased the lizard with my tattered clothes and ended up falling down while the lizard escaped. People were laughing as I was, just so FVCKING EMBARRASSED and PISSED that I was so ashamed to even stand and clean my cloth.

Fortunately, two ladies from the crowd stepped forward, helped me picked my scattered files and cleaned my clothes[Thou they were smiling and laughing while helping], and I had to laugh too in shame.

Nna eh! I just jejely gather morale waka comot, find okada begin dey go my lodge

Registration no be by force!!

Discombulator:
The day my mother told the whole church my real age,men were still young there and I had a kind of morale people my age don't have plus big stature so all the people my age and 2,3 years older than me treated me like a celebrity,then my talkie talkie sweet mother announced my real age during a testimony, since then my morale dropped and folks started treating me like regular kids.
It took me a whole month to accept my mum's apology walahi,she apologized everyday ,I no even dey talk to am until my parle change am for me.

donstan18:
I've got many, but I'll tell one.

During my 100lvl registration then in school. Any graduate or student can relate how stressful, tiring and crowded it use to be doing registrations.

It was so sunny that very day with crowd of freshers everywhere, i got tired at some point and decided to get some rest under a tree. Unbuttoned the first two buttons of my long sleeve shirt for air while getting some rest

Some minutes later, a very big yellow-headed lizard fell from the tree and found its way inside my singlet[Singlet was tucked in my jeans], I screamed so high and got the attention of 99% of students there, while trying to make way for lizard by pulling my singlet from my jean, I ended up opening another way for the lizard to jump inside my boxer. At that moment, I shouted and nervously got confused that I couldn't differentiate my prick from the lizard in my boxer because both of them were dangling and dancing around as I was screaming and rehearsing makossa dance in public, jumping around the tree shouting and behaving like a mad man. People couldn't help because they don't know how to, rather, some were laughing and shouting in amusement.

As God had it, i successfully dragged the lizard out, it jumped out, nodded its head and was there looking at me like a fool instead of running, out of anger of embarrassment, I chased the lizard with my tattered clothes and ended up falling down while the lizard escaped. People were laughing as I was, just so FVCKING EMBARRASSED and PISSED that I was so ashamed to even stand and clean my cloth.

Fortunately, two ladies from the crowd stepped forward, helped me picked my scattered files and cleaned my clothes[Thou they were smiling and laughing while helping], and I had to laugh too in shame.

Nna eh! I just jejely gather morale waka comot, find okada begin dey go my lodge

Registration no be by force!!

biGDhAp:
.. lol my niqqa, we gather dey oo.. me sef smoke mat that year like .

donstan18:
I've got many, but I'll tell one.

During my 100lvl registration then in school. Any graduate or student can relate how stressful, tiring and crowded it use to be doing registrations.

It was so sunny that very day with crowd of freshers everywhere, i got tired at some point and decided to get some rest under a tree. Unbuttoned the first two buttons of my long sleeve shirt for air while getting some rest

Some minutes later, a very big yellow-headed lizard fell from the tree and found its way inside my singlet[Singlet was tucked in my jeans], I screamed so high and got the attention of 99% of students there, while trying to make way for lizard by pulling my singlet from my jean, I ended up opening another way for the lizard to jump inside my boxer. At that moment, I shouted and nervously got confused that I couldn't differentiate my prick from the lizard in my boxer because both of them were dangling and dancing around as I was screaming and rehearsing makossa dance in public, jumping around the tree shouting and behaving like a mad man. People couldn't help because they don't know how to, rather, some were laughing and shouting in amusement.

As God had it, i successfully dragged the lizard out, it jumped out, nodded its head and was there looking at me like a fool instead of running, out of anger of embarrassment, I chased the lizard with my tattered clothes and ended up falling down while the lizard escaped. People were laughing as I was, just so FVCKING EMBARRASSED and PISSED that I was so ashamed to even stand and clean my cloth.

Fortunately, two ladies from the crowd stepped forward, helped me picked my scattered files and cleaned my clothes[Thou they were smiling and laughing while helping], and I had to laugh too in shame.

Nna eh! I just jejely gather morale waka comot, find okada begin dey go my lodge

Registration no be by force!!

OlawaleBammie:
Lol, Mat gang but na paper sweet pass, especially book cover

wen u put light for mat the fire too dey quick off, e no b like paper

SaintHilary:
2019




When I voted for the dulllard Buhari in front of everyone in VGC polling unit

Worst decision I've ever made and I will ever make in life

SultanOfPuna:
Ok, mine is weird but I'll say it anyway

One afternoon I saw one hungry Ant strolling on its own, so I placed a cube of sugar on its way.
The Ant stopped, first check the sugar to know if it is real or fake.
Then started giving the sugar some good licking.
After few seconds the Ant stopped licking then decided to go back and inform his ant friends to come and join him with the Huge Cube of Sugar He discovered..

When I saw the Ant rolling with his niggas coming back to devour the sugar, I quickly removed the sugar before they arrived.
When they arrived they saw nothing.
The Ant felt so embarrassed infront of his Bros as they insulted him for lieing to them
About finding Sugar..
Since Then, none of his Ant homies trust him anymore
I hope that Ant has not comitted Suicide due to depression

donstan18:
I've got many, but I'll tell one.

During my 100lvl registration then in school. Any graduate or student can relate how stressful, tiring and crowded it use to be doing registrations.

It was so sunny that very day with crowd of freshers everywhere, i got tired at some point and decided to get some rest under a tree. Unbuttoned the first two buttons of my long sleeve shirt for air while getting some rest

Some minutes later, a very big yellow-headed lizard fell from the tree and found its way inside my singlet[Singlet was tucked in my jeans], I screamed so high and got the attention of 99% of students there, while trying to make way for lizard by pulling my singlet from my jean, I ended up opening another way for the lizard to jump inside my boxer. At that moment, I shouted and nervously got confused that I couldn't differentiate my prick from the lizard in my boxer because both of them were dangling and dancing around as I was screaming and rehearsing makossa dance in public, jumping around the tree shouting and behaving like a mad man. People couldn't help because they don't know how to, rather, some were laughing and shouting in amusement.

As God had it, i successfully dragged the lizard out, it jumped out, nodded its head and was there looking at me like a fool instead of running, out of anger of embarrassment, I chased the lizard with my tattered clothes and ended up falling down while the lizard escaped. People were laughing as I was, just so FVCKING EMBARRASSED and PISSED that I was so ashamed to even stand and clean my cloth.

Fortunately, two ladies from the crowd stepped forward, helped me picked my scattered files and cleaned my clothes[Thou they were smiling and laughing while helping], and I had to laugh too in shame.

Nna eh! I just jejely gather morale waka comot, find okada begin dey go my lodge

Registration no be by force!!

biGDhAp:
.. lol . oh your own pass me na for paper me stop oo .. I no try am reach book cover

OlawaleBammie:
Ahh, book cover wey dey tick?? try am one day, stil try am one day

biGDhAp:
.. nah.. man don pass that level jare.. I'm not into smoking anymore

bilulu:
Let's hear please..... Marian

OlawaleBammie:
Lol, am just pulling ur leg jare, even if one would smoke wkl it be ordinary paper?

Likewise me... the public embarrassment made me stop the nonsense den, and since den notin like paper in my mouth again...




I AM NOT A SMOKER OO, I DONT SMOKE AND I DONT DRINK ALL I DID DEN WAS DUE TO INFANT/YOUTHFUL/WARD'S EXUBERANCE

SyrusdeHansome:
Nawa o. eb like say ur village pple carry mess swear 4 ur head o

Silas6:
This morning as i wan comot 4 house, i wear my tight Jean and I no too like to dey wear boxer under tight jean, cuz e no dey give me joy. So as usual, i no wear boxer or pant, just my tight jean.
Rain fall well well for Ikoyi this morning and una know as Island be, water everywhere...everybody dey find where to hide make rain no touch dem...i see one bank Atm shade for the other side of the road, na dia people stay and space still dey.
But water dey infront of the place so you go need walk down the end of the water to cross the water...me sef bin wan walk to the end of the water oh...naso i see say na fine fine girls dey inside the ATM place...e go make sense if fine boy like me jump the water instead now. Actually, the water no too wide, na something wey person fit jump but nobody just wan take the risk...me i go take am, if i jump am, this fine girls go trip..
Naso i move backwards small....the babes dey look me, me sef cut eye for them come lick lips...i move back well well...come run..as i reach the water, naso i spread leg finish take jump...na ontop the water i dey when i hear Kpraaaaaaa!..my brothers and sisters, i hear kpraaaaaaaa!!!!
...i think say na clap people dey clap for me say i jump wella, my head swell...i spread legs wider..i come notice say fresh air dey enter my body from under, both front and back....i look down see Lagidigbo Akanni Outside dey sing Rain Rain go away...What is your problem u this preeq, did i buy you nursery rhymes book.
E tear reach back, my yansh black well well for under light..i no even know which one to cover, front or back and My people, i use hand hold my problem front and back...come fall yakata inside water siddon dia oh... � � �
...these babes dey look me dey laugh..why do bad things happen to the good ones? ....I need a towel
...Mooomooo Miii
How i wan even take off am give tailor sew?
. Heaven i need a hug ooooo!

Froshloaded:
Blu03 I made ftc
Mine was the day, I was making a presentation. I didnt know, my zippers were out, I just noticed people were laughing . not until I checked, it was so embarassing

Karemarealty288:
Gbam!

larryking540:
Come on u don't have to embarrass him by indirectly calling him a kid