₦airaland Forum

Brazenbabe:
My point is that you people are quick to share bills with your wives/fiances but never share the domestic responsibilities
You people are quick to say what you did for her but never say what they do for you
See how all of you are on the other thread saying your families come before your wife, bla bla bla
Will you also tell your families your wives pay at least half of the bills?
I thought Nigerian women contributed nothing to the household and lives of their husbands? Why are we now being asked to pay for weddings
Abi would the man agree to answer our surname?

.......where is the logic in all you ve just said?

tiredoflife:
Gold digger oshi.
No wonder marriage no dey last
People marry ladies because of their job
See as e dey announce her salary
Bloody materialistic bastard

She made a mistake in marrying u
She will regret it all her life
What a bum
So u dey allocate 50%
Like for real
And u dont know what u did wrong
What an entitled beast
When she no bring money
U go ku ku kill am na

This one go give him wife belle
Say na two of una Bleep so una go share hospital bills
Oponu
Ode raised to the power of mumu

Can't u just raise a point without showing ur uncouthness and stupidity? Who raised u if I may ask?

Women of nowadays want to eat their cake and have it. There is nothing wrong with you allotting 50% expense to her joor. Later you will see them women dey shout gender equality but ordinary equal expense, they can't handle #smh

I See a handsome man and an Ugly or older Lady.

Michellekabod2:
am honored...

So when will you ever make sense on this forum ?

Tomorrow probably.
Lol

Brazenbabe:
My point is that you people are quick to share bills with your wives/fiances but never share the domestic responsibilities
You people are quick to say what you did for her but never say what they do for you
See how all of you are on the other thread saying your families come before your wife, bla bla bla
Will you also tell your families your wives pay at least half of the bills?
I thought Nigerian women contributed nothing to the household and lives of their husbands? Why are we now being asked to pay for weddings
Abi would the man agree to answer our surname?

ah! Darling you are indeed a talkactive

its women like you that are ready to beat the hell out of their husbands for no good reasons

it is well

tiredoflife:
U are a woman
And u are telling this entitled beast he did nothing wrong
Cant u see he married her job and not her
Is it not clear for u to see
Tomorrow she loses the job
Problem begins
He begins to call her useless woman
Why.
Cos she is useless without the job

Lol! Must her reasoning be as shallow as urs? I wonder how u got so much likes for ur display of stupidity.

Samakus:
You always make sense. I have noticed it. May your days be long

Thanks Chief.


Michellekabod2. You were saying?

sylvestersamuel:
Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, I will try to make my story brief and precise.... I have a fiancée whom I am already engaged to. As a matter of fact I have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses...

On hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then I have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....

Please I need your advice, did I do or say anything wrong, because I know how much I spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... Insult in form of advice is allowed all I need is just your advice.

She should be able to contribute to her wedding this should show if she can help out with other family finance needs if you both eventually get married, if she is earning 200k And can't contribute to her own wedding it means she may not contribute to run the marriage there by leaving you to shoulder family responsibility alone who is one of the major reasons men die before their wives

So she doesn't want To contribute nothing to her wedding?

You see that life of entitlement that is inborn with naija gals?

Davash222:
Thanks Chief.


Michellekabod2. You were saying?

.

Moralgladiator:
Stop calling her unless you don't know your value. Let her go because if you let her now be sure to always back down. And if you finish spending your money or get problem for front...she go leave you.. Naija women are only good for sex and bearing kids which you can get without marriage sef.

Same for Naija men. Supposing OP's fiancee had done as he asked. You wouldn't hear anything about it.

You guys come online to talk like you are any better. In the average Nigerian home today, the women carry most of the financial burden, go and do your survey then go back and back up your points with facts not fiction or why do you think children most times respect and take care of their mothers more. They do all the men should and more, yet still cover up for the men.

You guys need to start appreciating Naija women.

larryking540:
Exactly
When men feels it's an obligation for the wife to drop money ,they end up taking insult from the wife

Exactly.

when a woman starts contributing money by obligation, she is bound to insult the husband at any given opportunity.

And it's worst if she contributes majority of the finance.

But in all, if your wife is your best friend, that's when marriage is sweeter. You literally do all jointly and u Will value and respect eachother very well.

donstan18:
Traditionally, a man is the chief sponsor of any wedding ceremony while the woman supports in a way she can. Reason, it's expected a man goes into marriage when financially stable and ready.

Allocating 50% to her passed a message that you'll be a type of husband who will be after the statistics of the wife's earning and spending. You sure wouldn't have done what you did if you hadn't any knowledge of her earning, you acted because you know her earning and that's a red flag for Nigerian ladies, because they don't like dragging and equal responsibilities in a home.

You don't go direct when you want a woman to contribute financially to something. You go Tactically[Not imposing, but asking how and where she can take care of, she'll choose, no matter the percentage of her choice, you lock up, keep the planning going, pretend like you are cool and then sketch out a personal plan of how to act worried and restless before her, she'll wanna know the problem, act like you wanna hide it from her, she'll be worried and pissed that you are hiding things from her, then you'll come up with a story and open up that you are facing financial crisis and don't know how to sort some things out concerning the wedding, she'll willingly help with pity without seeing you as a stingy or mean person]

No be everything dem dey form mancho, you go dey use your head.

You've spent on traditional wedding and for that not to be a total waste, kindly go and meet her, reason with her and go tactical, not directly with authority.

Happy married life in advance!

I am just restraining myself from calling this your write-up nonsense
Is the man the only beneficiary of marriage??
If she doesn't have the man is to show graciousness
Are you saying that women should not be gracious?
He should be diplomatic, but it is a must that she contributes that 50% if she has it if not let her continue being single

Women are prostitutes by nature if not why do they have to be paid for so what the guy should've done is not tell her directly to contribute but ask her for loan which is more than even the 50%. She will feel that sense of belonging that she's being paid for.

sylvestersamuel:
Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, I will try to make my story brief and precise.... I have a fiancée whom I am already engaged to. As a matter of fact I have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses...

On hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then I have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....

Please I need your advice, did I do or say anything wrong, because I know how much I spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... Insult in form of advice is allowed all I need is just your advice.

You are not communicating well. Its as if you just direct or command. That's not marriage. Its a partnership. You dialogue, discuss and reach a consensus.

Let her know you cherish her and would appreciate if she can assist you in whatever means necessary to reduce financial burden on you.

She will tell you how she can come in.

Remember splitting 50:50 at this point is annoying when you didn't do like that when you were courting her.

I'm surprise that most people don't know the difference between being married and engaged...

You mentioned that you've done traditional rites, for instance, you've paid the bride price...

I kinda get disappointed at your write up...Please, with due respect; you are married.. As a matter of fact, You are fully married.. White wedding isn't a must...

To everyone who doesn't know this fact.. Once you paid a girl bride price and do every other traditional rite, YOU ARE MARRIED!..

Being engaged is when you went witj a few family member for introduction...

Thanks..

Ishilove:
In this 21st century?

You need deliverance

Lol!

tomdon:
I am just restraining myself from calling this your write-up nonsense
Is the man the only beneficiary of marriage??
If she doesn't have the man is to show graciousness
Are you saying that women should not be gracious?
He should be diplomatic, but it is a must, she must contribute 50% if she has it if not let her continue being single

I doubt you are married.

Davash222:
She’s earning 200K monthly
Where she dey work?



Assuming this story is legit, her 3 months salary should cover for her gown and the catering. But, that doesn’t mean you have to impose that on her unless she forced you to marry her.

No one is forcing you to wed. if you don’t have the funds for that, since you’re done with the traditional wedding and rites, go to any magistrate court close to you and certify your wedding.

I don’t even know who brought this issue of white wedding to Africans.

Baba I, I mean I own u 1 crate of B/Stout, platess of Nkwobi with 2 babies for the weekend

Winneygirl:
Now I can see where your biggest challenge in marriage will be .
Money, money, money.
You told us how much she earns.
How much do you earn?

His eyes are on her pockets. He's one of the new "wise" red pilled men.

brownemmanuel43:
Baba I, I mean I own u 1 crate of B/Stout, platess of Nkwobi with 2 babies for the weekend

Heineken will do. And as for the babies, I prefer slim ones with moderate boobs.
Thanks in advance.

sylvestersamuel:
Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, I will try to make my story brief and precise.... I have a fiancée whom I am already engaged to. As a matter of fact I have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses...

On hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then I have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....

Please I need your advice, did I do or say anything wrong, because I know how much I spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... Insult in form of advice is allowed all I need is just your advice.

my brother if you are not ready to marry postpone the wedding. You are supposed to bore all wedding expenses. He job is just a complement to you during the marriage proper not for you to use on the wedding day.

donstan18:
Traditionally, a man is the chief sponsor of any wedding ceremony while the woman supports in a way she can. Reason, it's expected a man goes into marriage when financially stable and ready.

Allocating 50% to her passed a message that you'll be a type of husband who will be after the statistics of the wife's earning and spending. You sure wouldn't have done what you did if you hadn't any knowledge of her earning, you acted because you know her earning and that's a red flag for Nigerian ladies, because they don't like dragging and equal responsibilities in a home.

You don't go direct when you want a woman to contribute financially to something. You go Tactically[Not imposing, but asking how and where she can take care of, she'll choose, no matter the percentage of her choice, you lock up, keep the planning going, pretend like you are cool and then sketch out a personal plan of how to act worried and restless before her, she'll wanna know the problem, act like you wanna hide it from her, she'll be worried and pissed that you are hiding things from her, then you'll come up with a story and open up that you are facing financial crisis and don't know how to sort some things out concerning the wedding, she'll willingly help with pity without seeing you as a stingy or mean person]

No be everything dem dey form mancho, you go dey use your head.

You've spent on traditional wedding and for that not to be a total waste, kindly go and meet her, reason with her and go tactical, not directly with authority.

Happy married life in advance!

In the Yoruba tradition the female foots the wedding bill. Anyways , if she still doesn't want to contribute to the expenses then plan the wedding on what you can afford , which I presume is half of the total budget. If she doesn't want to lend a hand then she can not dictate how much you'll have to spend. I'm a lady as well and I don't think all the expenses should be borne by the male.

Sotland:
I'm surprise that most people don't know the difference between being married and engaged...

You mentioned that you've done traditional rites, for instance, you've paid the bride price...

I kinda get disappointed at your write up...Please, with due respect; you are married.. As a matter of fact, You are fully married.. White wedding isn't a must...

To everyone who doesn't know this fact.. Once you paid a girl bride price and do every other traditional rite, YOU ARE MARRIED!..

Being engaged is when you went witj a few family member for introduction...

Thanks..

I tire o, I don't know who is about to get into a mess in this relationship.

The foundation is already faulty. This is already an abomination in the Ibo culture.

Living apart after trad As much as I don't like op, I don't wish he gets married to the girl because any family that can allow such are not good ppl at all.

sylvestersamuel:
Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, I will try to make my story brief and precise.... I have a fiancée whom I am already engaged to. As a matter of fact I have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses...

On hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then I have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....

Please I need your advice, did I do or say anything wrong, because I know how much I spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... Insult in form of advice is allowed all I need is just your advice.

Oga use style to let her know u can't run it alone, so she can pick where she wants to come in.

don't do it like u shared contribution in one family meeting.

But wait, Las las if it be say u are getting married to Nigerian version of feminists just like the types we. have on nairaland.
if so, baba share the money 50-50, wetin chimamanda av created let know special adviser put an end to...

But for goodness sake, buy her wedding gown abeg, it's a pride for.

U know how it goes, my husband bought my wedding gown.

Davash222:
Heineken will do. And as for the babies, I prefer slim ones with moderate boobs.
Thanks in advance.

U gat it baba, I mean receive ittttt, as for babies, na big nyash I go liek mak u relax with for this kin weekend

Michellekabod2:
See the issue posh wedding has caused?
So the years of love will be wasted just because of argument on wedding bills...

If my husband brings 5 million for wedding,i will use 4.5 million to start a business for myself and the 500k will be for the court wedding, light refreshment and traditional rites

Correct babe!!!

Munzy14:
Oga use style to let her know u can't run it alone, so she can pick where she wants to come in.

don't do it like u shared contribution in one family meeting.

But wait, Las las if it be say u are getting married to Nigerian version of feminists just like the types we. have on nairaland.
if so, baba share the money 50-50, wetin chimamanda av created let know special adviser put an end to...

But for goodness sake, buy her wedding gown abeg, it's a pride for.

U know how it goes, my husband bought my wedding gown.

Are you gay?

Wedding dress is the least thing a working class lady from a decent family can do for her self.

Except she is from a poor home.

And all these guys putting eye on girls income, what if she is bread winner of her family? What if her villagers contributed money to see her through school.

They will never ask...oju kokoro

If she wants you to sew the wedding gown abeg carry am go yaba u no fit spend pass roughly 15k. Bottomline do only what you can afford

Michellekabod2:
See the issue posh wedding has caused?
So the years of love will be wasted just because of argument on wedding bills...

If my husband brings 5 million for wedding,i will use 4.5 million to start a business for myself and the 500k will be for the court wedding, light refreshment and traditional rites

The wife in You revealed this....

That is what we av been saying, plenty women, but few wives.

Na only wife go reason like this o... All this ones, that are sleeping on kadashians and Beyonce SM handles no fit reason like this o. , most of them want wedding weh go beat dangote's children own.

Alwaysachick:
Are you gay?

Wedding dress is the least thing a working class lady from a decent family can do for her self.

Except she is from a poor home.

And all these guys putting eye on girls income, what if she is bread winner of her family? What if her villagers contributed money to see her through school.

They will never ask...oju kokoro

We are definitely on different sides...

Me gay?....... my friends for slap u now if say u are closer.....

Even tuface no straight pass me....

On a serious note, me i am not party to a woman co sponsoring her wedding.

let the man do it all. She go respect u for that.

sylvestersamuel:
Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, I will try to make my story brief and precise.... I have a fiancée whom I am already engaged to. As a matter of fact I have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses...

On hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then I have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....

Please I need your advice, did I do or say anything wrong, because I know how much I spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... Insult in form of advice is allowed all I need is just your advice.

move on bro