₦airaland Forum

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Kekereekun123:
low achiever kill you there. i qualified as an ACA before i graduated from UK. you think say i be like you wey no fit afford house rent. come Ikate make i house you

Isn't that what they all say?

funmisticqueen2:
to nuture and take care of the family

Good that is all I need to know.

Because when most female and male don't want to accept their traditional roles and they come here and start complaining.

I ask why get married then, if you don't want to play your role as husband or wife. It doesn't make sense.

I have opted out for personal reasons. But it disgust me when both sides bring out funny theory. They both reverse their role and are complaining.

50:50 is for woke people and not those blinded by stereotype. How can you expect a man with the mindset that house chores is for women which he has learnt for decades to suddenly change? Or a woman who is used to the narrative of a man being the financial provider to suddenly change to splitting 50:50 with a man? It definitely will goof up!

Funmisticqueen2,blame your cousin who stayed despite his defaulting . its her fault,why didn't she leave? This has nothing to do with 50:50 but the individuals involved (a non-faithful man that turns on his words and a lady that doesn't know her value but chose to stick with him).


A typical lady will be resentful towards a man she provides for,whilst a man can do this joyfully. A typical man will be bitter if he does the house chores,while women will do it joyfully.


In summary,50-50 should be adopted ONLY if both parties involved can handle a drift from what the society expects from them without defaulting or feeling resentful.

Fisher007:
Good that is all I need to know.

Because when most female and male don't want to accept their traditional roles and they come here and start complaining.

I ask why get married then, if you don't want to play your role as husband or wife. It doesn't make sense.

I have opted out for personal reasons. But it disgust me when both sides bring out funny theory. They both reverse their role and are complaining.

the lady felt the man wasn't being reciprocative. If they are to share 50:50 of their traditional responsibility, it only makes sense that the man does some of hers while she does some of his. It's only fair

Fisher007:
Good that is all I need to know.

Because when most female and male don't want to accept their traditional roles and they come here and start complaining.

I ask why get married then, if you don't want to play your role as husband or wife. It doesn't make sense.

I have opted out for personal reasons. But it disgust me when both sides bring out funny theory. They both reverse their role and are complaining.

the roles couples take are for them choose, not us to decide. There should be no fixed or predefined role for men and women to adopt.

funmisticqueen2:
the lady felt the man wasn't being reciprocative. If they are to share 50:50 of their traditional responsibility, it only makes sense that the man does some of hers while she does some of his. It's only fair

why couldn't she just leave? Or stop funding finances since he stopped the chores?

funmisticqueen2:
I'm not a feminist

Funmilayo, but you sound like one!
A pained feminist for that matter.


Once more...
Tone it down a notch or two!

Michellekabod2:
50:50 is for woke people and not those blinded by stereotype. How can you expect a man with the mindset that house chores is for women which he has learnt for decades to suddenly change? Or a woman who is used to the narrative of a man being the financial provider to suddenly change to splitting 50:50 with a man? It definitely will goof up!

Funmisticqueen2,blame your cousin who stayed despite his defaulting . its her fault,why didn't she leave? This has nothing to do with 50:50 but the individuals involved (a non-faithful man that turns on his words and a lady that doesn't know her value but chose to stick with him).


A typical lady will be resentful towards a man she provides for,whilst a man can do this joyfully. A typical man will be bitter if he does the house chores,while women will do it joyfully.


In summary,50-50 should be adopted ONLY if both parties involved can handle a drift from what the society expects from them without defaulting or feeling resentful.

my friend is woke, her ex was the typical African man.

I did blame her, a lot!! I was the only one advocating she leave the guy mostly because I was tired of her complaining to me all the time.

funmisticqueen2:
my friend is woke, her ex was the typical African man.

I did blame her, a lot!! I was the only one advocating she leave the guy mostly because I was tired of her complaining to me all the time.

that's the issue.... Marry your perfect match. If you are a traditional man,marry a traditional woman. If you are a woke man,marry a woke woman.

funmisticqueen2:
Sooooo, now I know that going 50/50 is a terrible idea and a sham. However, in the past I did not know any better as I thought I was being progressive or that it made sense.However


My friend's Story:

She well to do, about 3 years my senior and very staunch in her beliefs also now a chartered accountant.

She was dating a guy for 4 years then(I know, ). It was her first serious relationship. She's super smart, like getting scholarships and a philosophical kinda smart, and a feminist to the core. Since the start of the relationship, He suggested that a relationship is a partnership, hence they should do everything 50:50. she used to have the mindset of "It makes sense to go in half of the bills because this isn't the 1960 anymore and many women are working now. It's not fair to the guy to pay all the bills". I loved her a lot, but it was one of the topics we both disagreed on that time.

I told her that everything wouldn't be exactly 50/50 as that's impossible, but her expectation was that it would be close. That also included housework as well.

Things became interesting when she and her boyfriend decided to rent a flat together.

They decided to split the bill and house chores. Even though at first he cooked, he stopped doing that as she began to learn how to cook soups from his tribe. There was a time when she lost her job at the beginning of buhari regime, so of course he had to pick up all the bills. She did all the cooking and housework and continued to look for a job because she felt it was the right thing to do. He would come home to a neat house, a hot meal but tired girlfriend. She eventually found another, but the pay was less.

However, he too lost his job about a year later and she was paying all the bills, there was almost no reciprocity. She would come home to a dirty house and no food. That was the time that she was working and going to courses to write her ACCA exams. Back then she would complain to me, since also was friends with the guy. She was so frustrated.



It became so bad that she had to resort to nagging when she got home and asked why the dishes were not done, he'd begin to do them while she would do other house chores....but he had all day to do them, . On a side note, she then began to fail her papers, and all he had was the audacity to say "Maybe you should find more time to study. She was making good grades when she was working and writing exams." All she kept telling me was, "IF HE HELPED AROUND THE HOUSE AND COOKED I WOULD HAVE MORE TIME TO STUDY!!" Not only that, he had an online course, for 2 months which hardly count as full time But she didn't say anything.He eventually got another job though.

People suggested that she was emasculating him, so she said calmly tried talked to him about his lack of effort on several occasions but it didn't seem to matter although he agreed he'd do more.

He had a bad habit of starting chores and not finishing them (whether he had a job or not) and always had an excuse:

"I got distracted." "I'll get to it later." "I'm too busy"

It didn't help that family members were excusing his behavior. They claimed they always had to do his chores as he never finished them either, when they were kids. She didn't care about that. He wasn't a child anymore and that screamed lack of maturity.

She got so sick of it that she decided to be petty (she still regrets it). She didn't wash dishes for an entire month just to see how far it would go. Well, She only washed what she needed personally and left the rest. Surprisingly, he complained within a week. "The dishes haven't been done in a few days..." And she immediately proceeded to give most of the excuses he gave her the MULTIPLE times she confronted him about it during that month. He was pissed, but yet, only did the dishes a total of three times that month and had an attitude doing even that.

She ended up doing dishes again because she was tired of the state of the kitchen although it was only twice a week and that still wasn't enough for him.

Eventually, her new company was downsized and her salary was slashed. So she couldn't pay half like she used to. It was agreed that he'd pay rent and she'd pay the utilities and cable. Yeah...he eventually didn't like that anymore either.

He also started proposing marriage and wanting her to get pregnant before that and she said no. He asked why. She told him it was because It felt like she was doing most of everything. She did most of the cooking and cleaning still and having a baby would be more work for her. They had an argument about it. She honestly felt bad and thought maybe he would be a good dad but in any case, as if she didn't have enough red flags, this was the moment that confirmed 50/50 ideology was not working out for her. Just the thought of bringing a child into the world when she felt he wasn't even helping her or being supportive at that point was too much.

Eventually the relationship ended (I was the only happy one) . Her reasoning was because they weren't making each other happy and she couldn't take it anymore, and his was because she was a lazy woman who wasn't sacrificing for the relationship like he was (rolling my eyes at him).

She is in London today, doing her master's under a scholarship tuition free and all expenses paid. We still keep in touch. The guy is married. But he complains of how dirty his wife is. Ain't karma a bitch. The end.

Anyway, all that to say 50/50 is a scam. I feel like there are too many guys who proudly exclaim, "It's not 1950 anymore!" Or "It's 2020 now", but it obviously only applies to bills and NOT housework. They want the woman to still embrace her "gender role" 100% and do all the cooking, cleaning, and child rearing if a child or children are involved but also want the woman to step in HIS gender role as the provider and pay for half the bills as well. That's already 150% at least on her part while he's doing 50%

Also, I know that a financially well off man is not the only qualification because some will financially abuse women and I'm not advocating for complete dependency on a man either. All men have to be vetted the same in many areas no matter what.

It's because the last time I checked we men are the one doing everything for you lazy ungrateful women all in the name of relationship and marriage .

Kekereekun123:
This broke silly ugly girl again with her trash. one man equals all men now. nonsense

Don't mind the harlot

Your story is fake. Just say you like some equality that favours you but you don't like others. How can a man that was happy with doing 50:50 and sharing the chores suddenly have a problem with the chores? By the way, how does your story really show that 50:50 is a scam? Suppose the boyfriend was doing the chores, will you call 50:50 a scam? We can blame the boyfriend's laziness and lack of tact on the girlfriend's part for not standing her ground on refusing to the shortchanged. We cannot blame ego for the man's actions because he was willing to do the chores in the past.

Now let me ask you, suppose a couple decided to do 50:50 and every month and when it's time to pay the bills, the girlfriend, in typical female version, keeps bringing up a sob story on how she is short on money, the boyfriend then pays all while she still insist on sharing the chores, would you call 50:50 a scam because of this? Basically, you didn't need to bring up a contrived story. Just say you want a man that is rich and is taking care of you and you resent the idea of financially investing your relationship in any little way even though you like equal rights and opportunities as a man. Just concede, it's not a sin.

Ekemeze:
Oh my God. jezzz! did you type this yourself? Please don't make me believe the shits that scientists came up with, that a female brain is smaller in size than that of a man.

Biko, show me the lie in my statement.

Martinez39s:
Your story is fake. Just saying you like some equality that favours you but you don't like others. How can a man that was happy with doing 50:50 and sharing the chores suddenly have a problem with the chores? By the way, how does your story really show that 50:50 is a scam? Suppose the boyfriend was doing the chores, will you call 50:50 a scam? We can blame the boyfriend's laziness and lack of tact on the girlfriend's part for not standing her ground on refusing to the shortchanged. We cannot blame ego for the man's actions because he was willing to do the chores in the past.

Now let me ask you, suppose a couple decided to do 50:50 and every month and when it's time to pay the bills, the girlfriend, in typical female version, keeps bringing up a sob story on how she is short on money, the boyfriend then pays all while she still insist on sharing the chores, would you call 50:50 a scam because of this? Basically, you didn't need to bring up a contrived story. Just say you want a man that is rich and is taking care of you and you resent the idea of financially investing your relationship in any little way even though you like equal rights and opportunities as a man. Just concede, it's not a sin.

he was never happy doing the chores. He only pretended to be for a little while. That's what I think.

Martinez39s:
Your story is fake. Just say you like some equality that favours you but you don't like others. How can a man that was happy with doing 50:50 and sharing the chores suddenly have a problem with the chores? By the way, how does your story really show that 50:50 is a scam? Suppose the boyfriend was doing the chores, will you call 50:50 a scam? We can blame the boyfriend's laziness and lack of tact on the girlfriend's part for not standing her ground on refusing to the shortchanged. We cannot blame ego for the man's actions because he was willing to do the chores in the past.

Now let me ask you, suppose a couple decided to do 50:50 and every month and when it's time to pay the bills, the girlfriend, in typical female version, keeps bringing up a sob story on how she is short on money, the boyfriend then pays all while she still insist on sharing the chores, would you call 50:50 a scam because of this? Basically, you didn't need to bring up a contrived story. Just say you want a man that is rich and is taking care of you and you resent the idea of financially investing your relationship in any little way even though you like equal rights and opportunities as a man. Just concede, it's not a sin.

yes actually. I would call it a scam, an agreement is an agreement.

funmisticqueen2:
what does feminists being lesbians have to do with my post? Pretty unrelated.

Take the message, that's all that matters.

Happyguy201:
It's because the last time I checked we men are the one doing everything for you lazy ungrateful women all in the name of relationship and marriage .

why so bitter?!

funmisticqueen2:
he was never happy doing the chores. He only pretended to be for a little while. That's what I think.

If your story is true, then your friend did wrong by staying in the relationship. People need to set standards in their relationships. She should have sat the guy down and reminded him of the 50:50 plan and insisted that she will not be shortchanged and that if he fumbles from henceforth, she will leave. She fumbled by staying and tolerating him.

funmisticqueen2:
I'm in a relationship actually.

I actually agree with you. House chores no be beans and many guys are not raised to take care of the home

Martinez39s:
If your story is true, then your friend did wrong by staying in the relationship. People need to set standards in their relationships. She should have sat the guy down and reminded him of the 50:50 plan and insisted that she will not be shortchanged and that if he fumbles from henceforth, she will leave. She fumbled by staying and tolerating him.

True, I agree. Thank God she was smart enough to not get pregnant for him

Michellekabod2:
that's the issue.... Marry your perfect match. If you are a traditional man,marry a traditional woman. If you are a woke man,marry a woke woman.

I just tire

Mgbeke man forming Behind na him cause this wahala

funmisticqueen2:
Isn't that what they all say?

i can share you my linkedin profile. you think everyone here is a low lifer.

Kekereekun123:
i can share you my linkedin profile. you think everyone here is a low lifer.

not everyone. But you can share your LinkedIn profile if you want.

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funmisticqueen2:
not everyone. But you can share your LinkedIn profile if you want.

why will i wanna sent it to a sadist ugly hippo like you. where did you later find house self. broke doctor

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Ekemeze:
Please bro. Come'on! She's beautiful. Hmmmmm

woman wey never born looking like this already lmao. pig

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The lady ought to have walk away when the guy did not act according to the set down terms.