How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own - Family - Nairaland
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| How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by Okmei3119: 5:34am On Feb 25, 2020 |
Hello nlander I had to open a new account because I am getting irritated by my husband not been able to make a decision or do anything without seeing me.He lacks self confidence If he wants to open an account with a bank,I have to be seated with him right dere,if his boss rebuked him,I have to be dere to beg his boss,if he makes a mistake,I have to be dere to clean up this mess over and over and over again. What got me really irritated was when we were about paying for our new apartment and I was at engrossed with work at the office,I told him to pay the landlord since he was off duty,he insisted he didn’t know what to say and I should be seated beside him,I was so disappointed.I had to do all the talking that day when we got to the landlords.He doesn’t invest his money,he spends lavishly and when he is broke,he gets so angry at me if I tell I invested mine. How would I build him to be a man who can be confident in himself and make decisions without I always seated to boost his ego,I love him but I don’t like weak men |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by money121(m): 5:42am On Feb 25, 2020 |
All is well May Almighty Allah Increase Him in Knowledge Send my regard to oga 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by Nwodosis(m): 5:42am On Feb 25, 2020 |
These are sides effects of remoting a man to make him yours either though love charms or through the consultations of spiritualists! Search your conscience my sister, you wouldn't have married him if he were like this during courtship. 16 Likes |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by Nobody: 5:42am On Feb 25, 2020 |
Start giving him excuse anytime he requires you to do those stuff for him. Form that you are busy and wont be able to go to those places with him. Trust me he will grow up.. You have to be strong minded if you want to break this cycle because you've been babysitting him alot. 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by PrimadonnaO(f): 6:01am On Feb 25, 2020 |
We're still going to ask you the cliché question... "didn't you notice all these during courtship?"  When will people learn to stop getting married to a person on the basis that they will change in marriage? Or to keep making excuses for their actions and inactions. People do not just change who they are or the things they do, because it is a deep seated psychological construct. Please, before going into marriage, for your own peace of mind... always ask yourself "if this person never changes, can I live with and remain happy with him forever?" Continue with the relationship only if you truthfully believe you'll be fine with or without the changes. This applies to both male and female. 9 Likes |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by Muna4real(f): 6:03am On Feb 25, 2020 |
Okay. Then you should cope by deciding for him   |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by Nobody: 6:05am On Feb 25, 2020 |
Oh my! Was he not like this before marriage? Nawa  |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by Mindlog: 6:10am On Feb 25, 2020 |
Dependent Personality Disorder is what he is dealing with. 5 Likes
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| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by Okmei3119: 6:10am On Feb 25, 2020 |
He was like this during courtship but I thought he was just trying to let me get involved in his life,at least to know him better but I expected after 5 yrs of marriage,he should be able to cope without wanting me to make decisions all the time This is the only weakness he has,I can’t even bring up this discussion with him because I can’t afford to hurt him  |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by chatinent: 6:16am On Feb 25, 2020 |
We tell people that courtship failures are usually marriage failures. |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by tabithababy(f): 6:27am On Feb 25, 2020 |
You married a mugu 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by itsme01: 6:44am On Feb 25, 2020 |
Just let him be madam, if you become unavailable for him to make decisions together, your husband might start seeking that back up from friends and side chick... all you need to do is tell him that you would like him to make the next decision all by him self and whatever the outcome you would be proud of him regardless.. and let married people try to stop fixing what is not broken, stop trying to change people at all cost funny thing is my own main problem is I am far too individualistic and this hurts my relationships, I had once travelled out only to call my partner with a foreign number lol  she nearly died of shock and when I came back she was asking if I think she was a witch or destiny stopper . 7 Likes |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by madridguy(m): 6:44am On Feb 25, 2020 |
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| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by GiggyJaggi: 7:19am On Feb 25, 2020 |
[s] itsme01:[/s] 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by crackkhaus: 8:02am On Feb 25, 2020 |
Seems to me you married him because he can give you multiple orgâsms by putting his tongue between your thighs, this is the only explanation I can glean here because there's no way he wasn't like this when you were dating. Continue enjoying the head jor, you can't have it good in every aspect. At least you didn't complain he doesn't have money, so you have no problem. 6 Likes |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by Nobody: 8:12am On Feb 25, 2020 |
Something dae tell me say madam use jax marry oga....no be me talk am o. |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by punisha: 8:31am On Feb 25, 2020 |
U did not jazz him and he's like this Abi? Why Una too complain? Do u know how many women out there r wishing they get involved in decision making in their homes? Stop complaining and instead use the opportunity in helping him make right decisions. Imagine marrying a husband that wakes up one morning and says pack ur stuff we r moving to another state when u have ur biz running n booming, children enrolled in school and doing fine academically.....or husband that dies and u realise he has landed properties and biz all over but have no access to them because u weren't involved at any point? U don't want a weak man yen yen yen... If he's the opposite u will complain and tell d world how u feel left out in his life. What do women want really? 4 Likes |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by Omar09(m): 8:36am On Feb 25, 2020 |
Okmei3119: Whoops, you married a man baby... And boy with mommy issues! You are gonna have to be his mother for the rest of the marriage. The way you will want your son to do something, you will do the same to him. And if your son refuses you punish him. Do the same to your husband. Ciao 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by spongeisback: 8:38am On Feb 25, 2020 |
OP be happy you’re the one he’s being dependent on and not outsiders. My advice whenever he calls you about things you know he can handle, calmly tell him to handle because you know he will do a good job. It’s frustrating but don’t push him into sharing with outsiders before they destroy your family. 3 Likes |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by IDERAWOLE(m): 8:54am On Feb 25, 2020 |
Okmei3119: This life can be funny I tell you. It has to be understood. Here you're having a woman craving her husband to do things without her! Many are crying for not being carried along in decision making. Chineke! Well, when it gets too much, a woman is put off again. You came into his life by divine arrangements, but majority of the people don't reckon with divinity and that's the problem. You're God-sent into his life. When you understand this, your stress is reduced. Then, you can watch out for the reason of this overdepende on you. Make sure you never did any love charm prior to your wedding because I don't trust Nigerians. Thank God for his life and pray against fear of the unknown in his life. It's no joke. Let me ask you, on business and bedroom matters, does he seek your consent to take decisions? This might begin to open up the issues, I hope you understand my intent in asking that question. How good is he in the oza room? |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by misreal(m): 9:16am On Feb 25, 2020 |
itsme01:this is a very sound advice miss op.. See, your husband thinks you will be disappointed if his decision fails. Try to make him understand how that he is your hero, and that if ever his decisions fails.you will still be proud of him. 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by jagaban002(m): 9:25am On Feb 25, 2020 |
That means u mean everything to him , is not 100% weak he just don’t want to do anything without him . Just sit him down and let him know is the head of the house and he needs to start making the right decision without u . Don’t call him weak man because he confide in u is better than the man that confide in friends than there wife so Be thankful for what God has given u and stop calling ur husband weak man . |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by JONNYSPUTE(m): 9:42am On Feb 25, 2020 |
Okmei3119:.. But he is the type you ladies call the Real man? |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by LadySarah: 9:48am On Feb 25, 2020 |
He needs a whole lot of encouragement and self esteem boosting. At least he could propose to you or where you the one that did it. Be careful not to emasculate him it makes some men feel worthless especially if you earn more. Give him tasks and nudge him till its completion then praise him. Gradually you will see changes. No nagging whatsoever. If no change, bear it as everybody has their own cross 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by JONNYSPUTE(m): 10:01am On Feb 25, 2020 |
jagaban002:.. The truth is that he is a weak man. When a man lacks the power to perform physically demanding tasks or is liable to break or give way under pressure,then he is a weak man. So what are you talking about?. |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by JONNYSPUTE(m): 10:03am On Feb 25, 2020 |
LadySarah:.. She should give him task to do as what? His houseboy or.....? |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by JONNYSPUTE(m): 10:04am On Feb 25, 2020 |
misreal:. Funny. As a child he is abi? |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by JONNYSPUTE(m): 10:05am On Feb 25, 2020 |
Omar09:.. Hahahaha. Why is she complaining? The man is a real man nah. |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by nlPoster: 10:06am On Feb 25, 2020 |
He prefers joint interactions as a couple and you dont. Let him know you are not sentimental like that (probably due to your background or experiences I'm guessing?). And then perhaps agree to priorities you can do together. In addition, note the difference between can't and won't. Nlers just make a point of complaining about everything under the sun. Perhaps he feels you are more outgoing than he is, and interact better with people?  1 Like |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by LadySarah: 10:14am On Feb 25, 2020 |
JONNYSPUTE: Leaving some of those duties for him. I would have replied you the way I'm led to but read my signature. I won't say anything further. |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by Omar09(m): 10:14am On Feb 25, 2020 |
JONNYSPUTE: Idk oh... Woman no look before e jump, na when trouser don tear na im we no go hear word. No be wetin person see na im e go pursue? |
| Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by Mariangeles(f): 10:35am On Feb 25, 2020 |
Okmei3119: The truth is he has always been that way and that was what got you attracted to him. You're the type of woman that loves to take total control of things and you found just the right man that allows that. To be honest with you, you can't change him at this point. You chose your ideal man and now you're fed up. Learn to live with it. |
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