₦airaland Forum

Nnaabros:
One of the major problems bedevilling relationships and marriages today is the epidemic known as 'feminism'.

you are wrong. I am sure only social media active individuals have heard of the word feminism, of which that number is almost negligible.

missimelda01:
These days both men and women want to play smart, no one wants to be at the loosing end. Abi is it too much sense that is killing our generation? Marriage is a beautiful thing but that's gradually changing, the women love their children more and forget their husbands, the husbands chase after ladies and forget their wives, people are stabbing each other to death, and so much more. God help us.
40 years of being together is huge, I tap into the blessing.

True sha

Wanting to "outsmart" the other

You just got to know one of the reasons they last together for that long, not even their lovely daughter can come in between the love and respect she has for her husband.

Money is the number one problem in today's relationships, once a woman is greedy and her whole life revolves around money and noting but money, she will likely not make a good wife.

She can do anything for money, at the expense of the union, she may not be able to cope if there is any down time for the man which comes in our life circle because life is not a bed of roses.

Noting gives a marriage security like having a wife who can turn down the richest man in the world for the love of her husband. Begin to test many wives with huge money and expensive gifts and watch them make sweet excuses for leaving relationship of many years.

love this

See story!

Femsyn:
To buttress the OP's views...

I read this story and i laughed... i laughed hard because marriage is complex and is often more that what meets the eye.

Do you know the couple's story? They alone, know why they act in the manner they do. Look! how a woman or wife react in marriage is borne more of the input of the husband. What you see is what you get.

Let me ask you a question? Do you think the woman would've reacted the same way, if the man is often of the habit of squandering family cash on irrelevant things, stays away from the house with girlfriends, ignores the wife, does not carry the wife along in major decisions and does not take care of the home?

Young men, don't read hastily. The man the OP depicted up there is a responsible man. Most women align with their husbands easily, when the man is doing the needful.

The man has done enough for the reward you saw for few moments. Men, that reward doesn't come automatically. You work for it!!!

My response is not for the OP, because s/he has done justice with the points given thereafter. My response is for men who might read hastily, and assume the wife's behaviour is follow-come.

Very brilliant analysis
On point

hummmmmm

absolutefrag:
We should avoid generalization when looking at marriages. That is a recipe for unhappiness. In some situations the man might insist that the money be handed to his wife and in others they might decide to share or spend jointly on an existing projects. And they can all be right, depending on what works for them. People should do what works for them to attain success without seeing things only from one angle.

I think you are missing the point here.. The idea is not about who gets to keep the money or who gets which amount.. The lesson which is a general one is the fact that the woman recognizes the role of her husband as the head and willingly submits to him.. If the husband doesn't want to keep the money it would be his decision and not the wife's

emmadejust:
Our digital wife of nowadays is not concern in that obedience and summit to their husband .
The whole world revolves around them and their happiness

I have nothing to add. You said it all. The wives of these days, everything must begin and end with them. Their submissive is zero despite the fact , they have nothing to contribute to the family upbringing

Am speechless for this writeup. Why?

1. If a lady could write objectively then there are still good hopes
2. For their daughter to know the standing order of how the sharing would go down implies that they don tay for that price.

Thanks for adding the writeup to my mental things to do in marriage.

By the way, op, you be single. Make we start something now

Rubbish post

You are a very sensible man. It is obvious you will be a rational husband.

Femsyn:
To buttress the OP's views...

I read this story and i laughed... i laughed hard because marriage is complex and is often more that what meets the eye.

Do you know the couple's story? They alone, know why they act in the manner they do. Look! how a woman or wife react in marriage is borne more of the input of the husband. What you see is what you get.

Let me ask you a question? Do you think the woman would've reacted the same way, if the man is often of the habit of squandering family cash on irrelevant things, stays away from the house with girlfriends, ignores the wife, does not carry the wife along in major decisions and does not take care of the home?

Young men, don't read hastily. The man the OP depicted up there is a responsible man. Most women align with their husbands easily, when the man is doing the needful.

The man has done enough for the reward you saw for few moments. Men, that reward doesn't come automatically. You work for it!!!

My response is not for the OP, because s/he has done justice with the points given thereafter. My response is for men who might read hastily, and assume the wife's behaviour is follow-come.

Mzflexydeeva:
Over the weekend I had the privilege to attend a couple’s wedding anniversary. It was over 40 years of marriage. While the couple and kids danced and had merry I kept an observant eye trying to figure out within me how 2 strangers managed to live that long together looking all happy and equally having their kids all around them looking like this one big family.

Then something happened. This in itself helped me conclude that indeed for a marriage to be successful a woman had 99% of the hard work to do and this is also guiding my conclusion in this write up.

It was time for dance, dance, dance and lots of people came out to spray the couple just to appreciate them. Since I was close to the family, I was part of the money picking committee. In fact I was the coordinator. At the end of it all I counted the total money realized and was about to hand over to the daughter of the celebrant when she whispered.

“Who do I hand over the money to? My mum or my dad”?

I quickly answered your mum of course. The men don’t know how to manage money more so women are better at financial matters. She laughed and looked at me saying “I would have given my mum but I know she will give it to my dad who may just keep it all to himself so I have decided to share it into 2 half and give them both their share. I was amazed at such wisdom as I walked away to my seat thinking how fair that decision their daughter had made was. Later that day I called my friend to congratulate her again and praise her for being so wise but to my surprise she had something else to say.

Just as I finished praising her she said, I did as I thought was just for my parents but to my greatest surprise as I handed over the money to my mum and explained to her she rejected it. I heard myself shout “what” over the phone. Just then my friend said, my mum refused half the money and asked me to hand everything over to my dad at this point my voice could be heard by others around me. See me see wahala, what’s my own? Na me get money?

Then my friend continued, my mum said she wasn’t going to be a part if that sharing. Give it to your dad she said, what ever he gives me I would take and if he gives me nothing so be it. He is my husband after all. On hearing this I told my girl I would call her back as I need to check on somethings.

This really got me thinking... what is happening to marriages today?

Now I am summarizing some of the things destroying our marriages inspired by the woman in this encounter.

Love is not enough to take that life decision called marriage. Marriage should be a decision carefully thought out. Not something rushed into out of peer pressure or social intimidation. Not a decision made by friends or family but one for which one has carefully sat down to weigh the cons and pros. Having said that, it is still scary to see the level of broken homes arising each day.
Divorce is not a solution to marital problems but in itself can cause more harm than good. Although I am not a fan of divorce but when sanity and safety is at stake I fully Stan.

1. Finance: most times the issues caused by finances in a home is out of greed, social validation and peer pressure. A woman should understand her husband’s financial capability and live within such. Do not be tempted to live like your mates are living resulting in unhealthy pressure of your spouse. Men should be hard working and proactive. Do not be the type that believes I own my wife and all she owns. The easiest way to loose a woman’s respect is to misuse her finances.

2. Patience: This is by far the life one of marriages. Patience from either man or woman. Patience is what will keep you when she is nagging, what will keep you when he starts keeping late nights

3. Understanding: To be able to live together,there has to be a certain level of understanding of which once the understanding is compromised the marriage can as well be over.

4. Love: what exactly is Ione? Love isn’t what keeps 2 people together. Love is what brings them together

5. Forgiveness: once you have the spirit of forgiveness,your marriage is bound to sail with less friction. Forgiveness is so important in marriage that if partners can’t forgive each other they can not be cohabiting. Infidelity, disrespect,lack of control and all what may become irrelevant once the spirit of forgiveness visits you.

6. Interpersonal relationships : this involves the level of friendship. Once you consider your partner a friend you will never feel cheated rather you will see you both as equals not also neglecting the place of each one.

7. Sensitivity to the feelings of your partner: the ability to tell what your partner is feeling is a special gift. A gift that allows you to leave in harmony with everyone. The feelings of your partner should never be taken for granted. Women like it when you can tell at every point how emotionally stable they are. Men love to be seen and treated like babies. Do it and when it’s time to be happy, your home will know no bounds for love and happiness.

Let’s help save marriages and teach people to remain married unless in cases of domestic violence by either party.

All these are stories. The only way a marriage works is when both parties are ready to make it work. When one party does not care, that is game over. One party may even capitalize on the resolve if the second party to make the marriage work. He/She may just continue misbehaving because they understand that the other party is dying to make the marriage the work.

To a man,a good wife is one that submits to him,tolerate him,compromise for him. Just he,himself and him.

What men call good in a woman is what benefits them not the woman themselves.
You can never see a man praise his wife saying "she is a strong woman,pursued her dreams and goal,made a name for himself. I admire her confidence,her diligence and how she takes Care of herself". It always has to be "I love her so much,she sacrificed for ME,made compromises for ME, stood by ME and endured MY excesses"

A woman's need is never in a man's agenda.

Today a man opened a thread praising his wife, all I saw was celebrating self centeredness and encouraging women to settle for the less(when men aren't willing to settle for less).



Self duty is the best form of sacrifice.

The ultra feminists are coming to eat you raw. How dare she give the man that money?

Mzflexydeeva:
Over the weekend I had the privilege to attend a couple’s wedding anniversary. It was over 40 years of marriage. While the couple and kids danced and had merry I kept an observant eye trying to figure out within me how 2 strangers managed to live that long together looking all happy and equally having their kids all around them looking like this one big family.

Then something happened. This in itself helped me conclude that indeed for a marriage to be successful a woman had 99% of the hard work to do and this is also guiding my conclusion in this write up.

It was time for dance, dance, dance and lots of people came out to spray the couple just to appreciate them. Since I was close to the family, I was part of the money picking committee. In fact I was the coordinator. At the end of it all I counted the total money realized and was about to hand over to the daughter of the celebrant when she whispered.

“Who do I hand over the money to? My mum or my dad”?

I quickly answered your mum of course. The men don’t know how to manage money more so women are better at financial matters. She laughed and looked at me saying “I would have given my mum but I know she will give it to my dad who may just keep it all to himself so I have decided to share it into 2 half and give them both their share. I was amazed at such wisdom as I walked away to my seat thinking how fair that decision their daughter had made was. Later that day I called my friend to congratulate her again and praise her for being so wise but to my surprise she had something else to say.

Just as I finished praising her she said, I did as I thought was just for my parents but to my greatest surprise as I handed over the money to my mum and explained to her she rejected it. I heard myself shout “what” over the phone. Just then my friend said, my mum refused half the money and asked me to hand everything over to my dad at this point my voice could be heard by others around me. See me see wahala, what’s my own? Na me get money?

Then my friend continued, my mum said she wasn’t going to be a part if that sharing. Give it to your dad she said, what ever he gives me I would take and if he gives me nothing so be it. He is my husband after all. On hearing this I told my girl I would call her back as I need to check on somethings.

This really got me thinking... what is happening to marriages today?

Now I am summarizing some of the things destroying our marriages inspired by the woman in this encounter.

Love is not enough to take that life decision called marriage. Marriage should be a decision carefully thought out. Not something rushed into out of peer pressure or social intimidation. Not a decision made by friends or family but one for which one has carefully sat down to weigh the cons and pros. Having said that, it is still scary to see the level of broken homes arising each day.
Divorce is not a solution to marital problems but in itself can cause more harm than good. Although I am not a fan of divorce but when sanity and safety is at stake I fully Stan.

1. Finance: most times the issues caused by finances in a home is out of greed, social validation and peer pressure. A woman should understand her husband’s financial capability and live within such. Do not be tempted to live like your mates are living resulting in unhealthy pressure of your spouse. Men should be hard working and proactive. Do not be the type that believes I own my wife and all she owns. The easiest way to loose a woman’s respect is to misuse her finances.

2. Patience: This is by far the life one of marriages. Patience from either man or woman. Patience is what will keep you when she is nagging, what will keep you when he starts keeping late nights

3. Understanding: To be able to live together,there has to be a certain level of understanding of which once the understanding is compromised the marriage can as well be over.

4. Love: what exactly is Ione? Love isn’t what keeps 2 people together. Love is what brings them together

5. Forgiveness: once you have the spirit of forgiveness,your marriage is bound to sail with less friction. Forgiveness is so important in marriage that if partners can’t forgive each other they can not be cohabiting. Infidelity, disrespect,lack of control and all what may become irrelevant once the spirit of forgiveness visits you.

6. Interpersonal relationships : this involves the level of friendship. Once you consider your partner a friend you will never feel cheated rather you will see you both as equals not also neglecting the place of each one.

7. Sensitivity to the feelings of your partner: the ability to tell what your partner is feeling is a special gift. A gift that allows you to leave in harmony with everyone. The feelings of your partner should never be taken for granted. Women like it when you can tell at every point how emotionally stable they are. Men love to be seen and treated like babies. Do it and when it’s time to be happy, your home will know no bounds for love and happiness.

Let’s help save marriages and teach people to remain married unless in cases of domestic violence by either party.

""This in itself helped me conclude that indeed for a marriage to be successful a woman had 99% of the hard work to do and this is also guiding my conclusion in this write up."c


This doesn't make any sense. 99% gini

Nnaabros:
One of the major problems bedevilling relationships and marriages today is the epidemic known as 'feminism'.

Feminism is good.

I guess u mean female toxicity.

Marriage is about understanding btwn the 2 people involved. If u wana copy sm1 else’s marriage or even the conventional marriage it may not work or be better than ur own original model so try knowing and understanding urselves.

Sm men like overly submissive women and Sm want a lady with a mind of her own bt not rude or disrespectful. Different strokes for different folks.

Lol. I know at least three older couples that celebrated their anniversary.

1. Deadbeat father
2. Philanderer
3. Narcissistic and abusive

Quality of marriage is different from longetivity of marriage. I think the wise thing is to give your best effort and choose wisely!

una mumu don suppose do naa

Marriage is between two adults and someone says the success of marriage depends on the woman how?

It is the reality though

Oracle23:
""This in itself helped me conclude that indeed for a marriage to be successful a woman had 99% of the hard work to do and this is also guiding my conclusion in this write up."c


This doesn't make any sense. 99% gini

This is very interesting

______________________________________
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vaptnmFHoo

Sterope:
It is the reality though

99% on the woman, 1% on the HEAD OF THE HOUSE. Impressive...

That's a man that has intimidated his wife for Donkey years, there's nothing to emulate here

Mzflexydeeva:
Over the weekend I had the privilege to attend a couple’s wedding anniversary. It was over 40 years of marriage. While the couple and kids danced and had merry I kept an observant eye trying to figure out within me how 2 strangers managed to live that long together looking all happy and equally having their kids all around them looking like this one big family.

Then something happened. This in itself helped me conclude that indeed for a marriage to be successful a woman had 99% of the hard work to do and this is also guiding my conclusion in this write up.

It was time for dance, dance, dance and lots of people came out to spray the couple just to appreciate them. Since I was close to the family, I was part of the money picking committee. In fact I was the coordinator. At the end of it all I counted the total money realized and was about to hand over to the daughter of the celebrant when she whispered.

“Who do I hand over the money to? My mum or my dad”?

I quickly answered your mum of course. The men don’t know how to manage money more so women are better at financial matters. She laughed and looked at me saying “I would have given my mum but I know she will give it to my dad who may just keep it all to himself so I have decided to share it into 2 half and give them both their share. I was amazed at such wisdom as I walked away to my seat thinking how fair that decision their daughter had made was. Later that day I called my friend to congratulate her again and praise her for being so wise but to my surprise she had something else to say.

Just as I finished praising her she said, I did as I thought was just for my parents but to my greatest surprise as I handed over the money to my mum and explained to her she rejected it. I heard myself shout “what” over the phone. Just then my friend said, my mum refused half the money and asked me to hand everything over to my dad at this point my voice could be heard by others around me. See me see wahala, what’s my own? Na me get money?

Then my friend continued, my mum said she wasn’t going to be a part if that sharing. Give it to your dad she said, what ever he gives me I would take and if he gives me nothing so be it. He is my husband after all. On hearing this I told my girl I would call her back as I need to check on somethings.

This really got me thinking... what is happening to marriages today?

Now I am summarizing some of the things destroying our marriages inspired by the woman in this encounter.

Love is not enough to take that life decision called marriage. Marriage should be a decision carefully thought out. Not something rushed into out of peer pressure or social intimidation. Not a decision made by friends or family but one for which one has carefully sat down to weigh the cons and pros. Having said that, it is still scary to see the level of broken homes arising each day.
Divorce is not a solution to marital problems but in itself can cause more harm than good. Although I am not a fan of divorce but when sanity and safety is at stake I fully Stan.

1. Finance: most times the issues caused by finances in a home is out of greed, social validation and peer pressure. A woman should understand her husband’s financial capability and live within such. Do not be tempted to live like your mates are living resulting in unhealthy pressure of your spouse. Men should be hard working and proactive. Do not be the type that believes I own my wife and all she owns. The easiest way to loose a woman’s respect is to misuse her finances.

2. Patience: This is by far the life one of marriages. Patience from either man or woman. Patience is what will keep you when she is nagging, what will keep you when he starts keeping late nights

3. Understanding: To be able to live together,there has to be a certain level of understanding of which once the understanding is compromised the marriage can as well be over.

4. Love: what exactly is Ione? Love isn’t what keeps 2 people together. Love is what brings them together

5. Forgiveness: once you have the spirit of forgiveness,your marriage is bound to sail with less friction. Forgiveness is so important in marriage that if partners can’t forgive each other they can not be cohabiting. Infidelity, disrespect,lack of control and all what may become irrelevant once the spirit of forgiveness visits you.

6. Interpersonal relationships : this involves the level of friendship. Once you consider your partner a friend you will never feel cheated rather you will see you both as equals not also neglecting the place of each one.

7. Sensitivity to the feelings of your partner: the ability to tell what your partner is feeling is a special gift. A gift that allows you to leave in harmony with everyone. The feelings of your partner should never be taken for granted. Women like it when you can tell at every point how emotionally stable they are. Men love to be seen and treated like babies. Do it and when it’s time to be happy, your home will know no bounds for love and happiness.

Let’s help save marriages and teach people to remain married unless in cases of domestic violence by either party.

Without the spirit of God this qualities will not exist. Submition, humility from God

Hmmm

Nnaabros:
One of the major problems bedevilling relationships and marriages today is the epidemic known as 'feminism'.

My broda the thing is destroying marriages and even siblings, you can imagine my younger sister competing with me as though we are equals. I just tire

We are damn lucky!

pocohantas:
99% on the woman, 1% on the HEAD OF THE HOUSE. Impressive...

Are you expecting your younger sister to carry your weight for you?

sammirano:
My broda the thing is destroying marriages and even siblings, you can imagine my younger sister competing with me as though we are equals. I just tire

Sterope:
It is the reality though

No, it isn't the reality, It is a false statement.

Lol. Are you from Mars?

Oracle23:
No, it isn't the reality, It is a false statement.