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What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by Afamed: 12:40am On Feb 27, 2020
Sterope:
You don't get an award for not telling the truth.

In many homes in Nigeria, women contribute as much as men even when they earn less. Where some may not contribute in lump sums, the daily expenses are on their shoulders.

I don't expect contrary opinion from you
Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by djon78(m): 12:46am On Feb 27, 2020
Tunex252:
The woman is a good woman and probably from the 19s, women from those years are submitted to their husband, support them financially even when d man is broke to d extreme and respect dem but u see women of nowadays if 200 of nowadays women are looking for husband, I can sure that only 10 is capable and ready for marriage.. nowadays women are really spoilt




Honestly the level of toxicity is terrible. You wonder how a sane man can live with such toxic beings.

Men searching for spouse should be very watchful and prayerful too.

3 Likes

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by spiritedtete: 1:20am On Feb 27, 2020
You just describe my mum... at the same time described my wife...


Sometimes i know i don't know God's worth over the kind of wife he has given to me... she makes my heart humble everytime i look at her meekness. Kilode!!!

Oh lord I have come to also appreciate the typr of a wife you gave me lord. Thank you!

I am not looking forward to counting years with her... inam just looking forward to everday she being by my side.

2 Likes

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by Nobody: 1:32am On Feb 27, 2020
OyinO:
When our forefathers were not going to churches and fearing Gods. marriages used to last a lifetime. How come in a generation of Godfearing spouses, divorce, naggging, stabbing, cheating, side-chicken, hatred, disrespect and retarliation has taken over marriages between so-called Godfearing pretenders?


They had toxic marriages bros. A divorced or unmarried woman was looked at with much contempt, scorn and hatred, she was like an eyesore in the society of then and most times called a witch, most women then stayed in toxic relationships rather than face the disgrace that may be brought upon her and her children by the society, remember to that those times men freely beat their wives, so don't compare then with now. It is not by force to be together now.

14 Likes

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by bitingcool: 1:48am On Feb 27, 2020
Mzflexydeeva:
Over the weekend I had the privilege to attend a couple’s wedding anniversary. It was over 40 years of marriage. While the couple and kids danced and had merry I kept an observant eye trying to figure out within me how 2 strangers managed to live that long together looking all happy and equally having their kids all around them looking like this one big family.

Then something happened. This in itself helped me conclude that indeed for a marriage to be successful a woman had 99% of the hard work to do and this is also guiding my conclusion in this write up.

It was time for dance, dance, dance and lots of people came out to spray the couple just to appreciate them. Since I was close to the family, I was part of the money picking committee. In fact I was the coordinator. At the end of it all I counted the total money realized and was about to hand over to the daughter of the celebrant when she whispered.

“Who do I hand over the money to? My mum or my dad”?

I quickly answered your mum of course. The men don’t know how to manage money more so women are better at financial matters. She laughed and looked at me saying “I would have given my mum but I know she will give it to my dad who may just keep it all to himself so I have decided to share it into 2 half and give them both their share. I was amazed at such wisdom as I walked away to my seat thinking how fair that decision their daughter had made was. Later that day I called my friend to congratulate her again and praise her for being so wise but to my surprise she had something else to say.

Just as I finished praising her she said, I did as I thought was just for my parents but to my greatest surprise as I handed over the money to my mum and explained to her she rejected it. I heard myself shout “what” over the phone. Just then my friend said, my mum refused half the money and asked me to hand everything over to my dad at this point my voice could be heard by others around me. See me see wahala, what’s my own? Na me get money?

Then my friend continued, my mum said she wasn’t going to be a part if that sharing. Give it to your dad she said, what ever he gives me I would take and if he gives me nothing so be it. He is my husband after all. On hearing this I told my girl I would call her back as I need to check on somethings.

This really got me thinking... what is happening to marriages today?

Now I am summarizing some of the things destroying our marriages inspired by the woman in this encounter.

Love is not enough to take that life decision called marriage. Marriage should be a decision carefully thought out. Not something rushed into out of peer pressure or social intimidation. Not a decision made by friends or family but one for which one has carefully sat down to weigh the cons and pros. Having said that, it is still scary to see the level of broken homes arising each day.
Divorce is not a solution to marital problems but in itself can cause more harm than good. Although I am not a fan of divorce but when sanity and safety is at stake I fully Stan.

1. Finance: most times the issues caused by finances in a home is out of greed, social validation and peer pressure. A woman should understand her husband’s financial capability and live within such. Do not be tempted to live like your mates are living resulting in unhealthy pressure of your spouse. Men should be hard working and proactive. Do not be the type that believes I own my wife and all she owns. The easiest way to loose a woman’s respect is to misuse her finances.

2. Patience: This is by far the life one of marriages. Patience from either man or woman. Patience is what will keep you when she is nagging, what will keep you when he starts keeping late nights

3. Understanding: To be able to live together,there has to be a certain level of understanding of which once the understanding is compromised the marriage can as well be over.

4. Love: what exactly is Ione? Love isn’t what keeps 2 people together. Love is what brings them together

5. Forgiveness: once you have the spirit of forgiveness,your marriage is bound to sail with less friction. Forgiveness is so important in marriage that if partners can’t forgive each other they can not be cohabiting. Infidelity, disrespect,lack of control and all what may become irrelevant once the spirit of forgiveness visits you.

6. Interpersonal relationships : this involves the level of friendship. Once you consider your partner a friend you will never feel cheated rather you will see you both as equals not also neglecting the place of each one.

7. Sensitivity to the feelings of your partner: the ability to tell what your partner is feeling is a special gift. A gift that allows you to leave in harmony with everyone. The feelings of your partner should never be taken for granted. Women like it when you can tell at every point how emotionally stable they are. Men love to be seen and treated like babies. Do it and when it’s time to be happy, your home will know no bounds for love and happiness.

Let’s help save marriages and teach people to remain married unless in cases of domestic violence by either party.

Sakamanje

1 Like

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by toprealman: 3:05am On Feb 27, 2020
Clearly baba is not the "selfish" type..,..and mama knows it.
Happy for them.To young men and women.....hussle, make YOUR OWN money!
Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by vickydevoka(m): 3:08am On Feb 27, 2020
Michellekabod2:
To a man,a good wife is one that submits to him,tolerate him,compromise for him. Just he,himself and him.

What men call good in a woman is what benefits them not the woman themselves.
You can ne wever see a man praise his wife saying "she is a strong woman,pursued her dreams and goal,made a name for himself. I admire her confidence,her diligence and how she takes Care of herself". It always has to be "I love her so much,she sacrificed for ME,made compromises for ME, stood by ME and endured MY excesses"

A woman's need is never in a man's agenda.

Today a man opened a thread praising his wife, all I saw was celebrating self centeredness and encouraging women to settle for the less(when men aren't willing to settle for less).



Self duty is the best form of sacrifice.
U sounds one sided. Haven't u seen on dis thread when a woman gushes praise on her husband
Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by vickydevoka(m): 3:12am On Feb 27, 2020
Lamanii22:



Equal rights and shii...
Equal rite is gud. If Africa can emulat the white completely. No unnecessary huge payment for dowry. N bill n house chores should be divided into two. Den I will believe in equality . It shouldn't be one-sided

2 Likes

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by Sluacoast(m): 3:20am On Feb 27, 2020
ednut1:
Must one marry
Then this thread is not for you. Move on

1 Like

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by Brainboxfid(f): 3:29am On Feb 27, 2020
Femsyn:
To buttress the OP's views...

I read this story and i laughed... i laughed hard because marriage is complex and is often more that what meets the eye.

Do you know the couple's story? They alone, know why they act in the manner they do. Look! how a woman or wife react in marriage is borne more of the input of the husband. What you see is what you get.

Let me ask you a question? Do you think the woman would've reacted the same way, if the man is often of the habit of squandering family cash on irrelevant things, stays away from the house with girlfriends, ignores the wife, does not carry the wife along in major decisions and does not take care of the home?

Young men, don't read hastily. The man the OP depicted up there is a responsible man. Most women align with their husbands easily, when the man is doing the needful.

The man has done enough for the reward you saw for few moments. Men, that reward doesn't come automatically. You work for it!!!

My response is not for the OP, because s/he has done justice with the points given thereafter. My response is for men who might read hastily, and assume the wife's behaviour is follow-come.
you nailed it

1 Like 1 Share

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by Sluacoast(m): 3:34am On Feb 27, 2020
kapelvej:
All these are stories. The only way a marriage works is when both parties are ready to make it work. When one party does not care, that is game over. One party may even capitalize on the resolve if the second party to make the marriage work. He/She may just continue misbehaving because they understand that the other party is dying to make the marriage the work.
The writeup clearly depict all of of it, so don't just refer this as an ordinary mere story. It weigh more than you can imagine. Other woman can grab from this writeup, same as the men. It's just that some things done in private also play a big role in ensuring a long lasting marriage.
A person with the Sobriquet "Femsyn" has a lot to contribute to this. Shalom!
Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by akbahbah(m): 3:39am On Feb 27, 2020
Nnaabros:
One of the major problems bedevilling relationships and marriages today is the epidemic known as 'feminism'.

You said it all. May God further add to your wisdom. If feminism can be addressed amongst women of nowadays, marriages will begin to stand like it used to in those days.

2 Likes

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by sweetilicious(f): 4:08am On Feb 27, 2020
Mzflexydeeva:
Over the weekend I had the privilege to attend a couple’s wedding anniversary. It was over 40 years of marriage. While the couple and kids danced and had merry I kept an observant eye trying to figure out within me how 2 strangers managed to live that long together looking all happy and equally having their kids all around them looking like this one big family.

Then something happened. This in itself helped me conclude that indeed for a marriage to be successful a woman had 99% of the hard work to do and this is also guiding my conclusion in this write up.

It was time for dance, dance, dance and lots of people came out to spray the couple just to appreciate them. Since I was close to the family, I was part of the money picking committee. In fact I was the coordinator. At the end of it all I counted the total money realized and was about to hand over to the daughter of the celebrant when she whispered.

“Who do I hand over the money to? My mum or my dad”?

I quickly answered your mum of course. The men don’t know how to manage money more so women are better at financial matters. She laughed and looked at me saying “I would have given my mum but I know she will give it to my dad who may just keep it all to himself so I have decided to share it into 2 half and give them both their share. I was amazed at such wisdom as I walked away to my seat thinking how fair that decision their daughter had made was. Later that day I called my friend to congratulate her again and praise her for being so wise but to my surprise she had something else to say.

Just as I finished praising her she said, I did as I thought was just for my parents but to my greatest surprise as I handed over the money to my mum and explained to her she rejected it. I heard myself shout “what” over the phone. Just then my friend said, my mum refused half the money and asked me to hand everything over to my dad at this point my voice could be heard by others around me. See me see wahala, what’s my own? Na me get money?

Then my friend continued, my mum said she wasn’t going to be a part if that sharing. Give it to your dad she said, what ever he gives me I would take and if he gives me nothing so be it. He is my husband after all. On hearing this I told my girl I would call her back as I need to check on somethings.

This really got me thinking... what is happening to marriages today?

Now I am summarizing some of the things destroying our marriages inspired by the woman in this encounter.

Love is not enough to take that life decision called marriage. Marriage should be a decision carefully thought out. Not something rushed into out of peer pressure or social intimidation. Not a decision made by friends or family but one for which one has carefully sat down to weigh the cons and pros. Having said that, it is still scary to see the level of broken homes arising each day.
Divorce is not a solution to marital problems but in itself can cause more harm than good. Although I am not a fan of divorce but when sanity and safety is at stake I fully Stan.

1. Finance: most times the issues caused by finances in a home is out of greed, social validation and peer pressure. A woman should understand her husband’s financial capability and live within such. Do not be tempted to live like your mates are living resulting in unhealthy pressure of your spouse. Men should be hard working and proactive. Do not be the type that believes I own my wife and all she owns. The easiest way to loose a woman’s respect is to misuse her finances.

2. Patience: This is by far the life one of marriages. Patience from either man or woman. Patience is what will keep you when she is nagging, what will keep you when he starts keeping late nights

3. Understanding: To be able to live together,there has to be a certain level of understanding of which once the understanding is compromised the marriage can as well be over.

4. Love: what exactly is Ione? Love isn’t what keeps 2 people together. Love is what brings them together

5. Forgiveness: once you have the spirit of forgiveness,your marriage is bound to sail with less friction. Forgiveness is so important in marriage that if partners can’t forgive each other they can not be cohabiting. Infidelity, disrespect,lack of control and all what may become irrelevant once the spirit of forgiveness visits you.

6. Interpersonal relationships : this involves the level of friendship. Once you consider your partner a friend you will never feel cheated rather you will see you both as equals not also neglecting the place of each one.

7. Sensitivity to the feelings of your partner: the ability to tell what your partner is feeling is a special gift. A gift that allows you to leave in harmony with everyone. The feelings of your partner should never be taken for granted. Women like it when you can tell at every point how emotionally stable they are. Men love to be seen and treated like babies. Do it and when it’s time to be happy, your home will know no bounds for love and happiness.

Let’s help save marriages and teach people to remain married unless in cases of domestic violence by either party.
Good
Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by safarigirl(f): 4:09am On Feb 27, 2020
No two marriages are the same.

Each marriage is different

You cannot use one formula to give a general review of marriage. I watched an interracial couple that have been married over 60 years and when they were asked the secret of their marriage, the man responded "I do whatever she tells me to do and everyone is happy". They have been together 60 years, with a formula opposite of your perfect couple's formula.

Two people make a marriage work, not one person

Submissive women have been cheated on and been divorced by men who never appreciated them

Good men have been cheated on and divorced by women who never appreciated them

Longevity is not a sign of goodness, it could also be a sign of continued abuse.

Slavery existed for over 100 years, OP, if that was marriage, would you say it was a successful marriage, just because one party (the slaves), did 99% work and allowed their masters make all the decisions?

Pray that you never have to roll over for someone who will step on you all the days of your life, and that you find someone who will appreciate you all the time.

And never forget, similar symptoms don't always mean the same sickness.

I wish everyone the partner they deserve.

19 Likes

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by nextlevel2020: 4:10am On Feb 27, 2020
I am a single and I am at my late 30s, but when issue of marriage arises my heart always beat. I am privilege to have good job with 6 digits salary and I own my house, but the greatest fear I am facing is what I experience from my colleagues marriages on daily basis couple with my jungle life to the stardom. To cut my story brief, I will talk about my colleague who is also my closest friend's marriage to illustrate my fear for taking the bold step. This my friend married a pretty young lady and they started life together from scratch and they were blessed with two kids. Few years later, they built their home in one remote area and they began to live there without any neighbor. The first day I visited them, I have nothing but to praise the woman for developing such audacity to live alone whenever my friend leave for work. As time goes on, my friend decided to allow his wife to enroll for her degree program in order to better their future and the life of their two kids. When the woman finished the program, she said that she is done with the marriage and that was the end. Pastors from their church, family members and friends did everything to find out what went wrong but all efforts to get things to normalcy proved abortive. Few months later, Lawyer brought divorce letter and that was the end.

One thing I learned from their marriage is that, for a couple to live together till death puts them apart, there must be effective communication and determination to sustain the union. Till today, my friend could not say this was what went wrong in his marriage and the woman also muted till she sent divorce letter.

About my jungle life. I want to say a little about myself and I do hope that the good people in this platform can advise me to kill the fear I have for marriage.
I am from a very humble background and none of my parents has formal education. I began primary school when I was closed to fourteen, I was able to foster myself from primary to tertiary institution with the help of farming activities and site jobs. These periods, I encountered several humiliations that I can't share all. The girl I was dating then, said to me open that I should go and look for my wife elsewhere because she could not see any traces of survival from me and she left me for someone else. Five months later, I got an appointment with multinational firm and God has been faithful in all aspects of my life. I have traveled to Europe and some Africa countries too but the phobia of who will make me happy and will not abscond from my life like my friend's wife is the greatest concern am facing at the moment.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by ursullalinda(f): 4:26am On Feb 27, 2020
absolutefrag:
We should avoid generalization when looking at marriages. That is a recipe for unhappiness. In some situations the man might insist that the money be handed to his wife and in others they might decide to share or spend jointly on an existing projects. And they can all be right, depending on what works for them. People should do what works for them to attain success without seeing things only from one angle.


Very wise talk.....different from the stereotype.....the day I told my husband it takes a woman to make marriage work.....he corrected me instantly and said it takes two to tango.......and every second I see it play out.

4 Likes

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by ursullalinda(f): 4:27am On Feb 27, 2020
Femsyn:
To buttress the OP's views...

I read this story and i laughed... i laughed hard because marriage is complex and is often more that what meets the eye.

Do you know the couple's story? They alone, know why they act in the manner they do. Look! how a woman or wife react in marriage is borne more of the input of the husband. What you see is what you get.

Let me ask you a question? Do you think the woman would've reacted the same way, if the man is often of the habit of squandering family cash on irrelevant things, stays away from the house with girlfriends, ignores the wife, does not carry the wife along in major decisions and does not take care of the home?

Young men, don't read hastily. The man the OP depicted up there is a responsible man. Most women align with their husbands easily, when the man is doing the needful.

The man has done enough for the reward you saw for few moments. Men, that reward doesn't come automatically. You work for it!!!

My response is not for the OP, because s/he has done justice with the points given thereafter. My response is for men who might read hastily, and assume the wife's behaviour is follow-come.



You are a very wise man.......God bless you for this.

2 Likes

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by Ladycewhy(f): 4:35am On Feb 27, 2020
Femsyn:
To buttress the OP's views...

I read this story and i laughed... i laughed hard because marriage is complex and is often more that what meets the eye.

Do you know the couple's story? They alone, know why they act in the manner they do. Look! how a woman or wife react in marriage is borne more of the input of the husband. What you see is what you get.

Let me ask you a question? Do you think the woman would've reacted the same way, if the man is often of the habit of squandering family cash on irrelevant things, stays away from the house with girlfriends, ignores the wife, does not carry the wife along in major decisions and does not take care of the home?

Young men, don't read hastily. The man the OP depicted up there is a responsible man. Most women align with their husbands easily, when the man is doing the needful.

The man has done enough for the reward you saw for few moments. Men, that reward doesn't come automatically. You work for it!!!

My response is not for the OP, because s/he has done justice with the points given thereafter. My response is for men who might read hastily, and assume the wife's behaviour is follow-come.
thank you o. I will not hold sway for other women but I will speak for myself. I am this type that serves the hand I am dealt .

Most of the men here gyrating on this thread have no integrity ,no transparency,no loyalty ,no consideration to their partners.They move as if their partners are second fiddles yet they want a woman who will kneel down and lick their feet grin grin. Yeye dey smell

10 Likes

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by Ladycewhy(f): 4:39am On Feb 27, 2020
safarigirl:
No two marriages are the same.

Each marriage is different

You cannot use one formula to give a general review of marriage. I watched an interracial couple that have been married over 60 years and when they were asked the secret of their marriage, the man responded "I do whatever she tells me to do and everyone is happy". They have been together 60 years, with a formula opposite of your perfect couple's formula.

Two people make a marriage work, not one person

Submissive women have been cheated on and been divorced by men who never appreciated them

Good men have been cheated on and divorced by women who never appreciated them

Longevity is not a sign of goodness, it could also be a sign of continued abuse.

Slavery existed for over 100 years, OP, if that was marriage, would you say it was a successful marriage, just because one party (the slaves), did 99% work and allowed their masters make all the decisions?

Pray that you never have to roll over for someone who will step on you all the days of your life, and that you find someone who will appreciate you all the time.

And never forget, similar symptoms don't always mean the same sickness.

I wish everyone the partner they deserve.
couldn't have said it any better. Co-signed.

2 Likes

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by Ladycewhy(f): 4:46am On Feb 27, 2020
Mizwisdom:
That's a man that has intimidated his wife for Donkey years, there's nothing to emulate here
the woman seems to be exhibiting symptoms of Stockholm syndrome grin grin grin

5 Likes

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by Ladycewhy(f): 4:53am On Feb 27, 2020
pocohantas:


Very lucky. Rare picture of a Nigerian woman after loading 99% of the work on herself. You see those guys on top- na the brother in-laws wey no dey ever go their own house.
lawd this creacked me up ,poko my sister no wonder women dey quick old ,chai see load grin grin grin grin. Women dey try sha!, Imagine carrying 99% of the load as the op stated ,while oga carried 1% why she nor go quick old grin grin grin

4 Likes

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by back2sender: 4:58am On Feb 27, 2020
kazyhm:


That where we found ourselves.........the notion that happy wife is a happy home........


Meanwhile, Husband rest of mind is really a peaceful home...

Exactly my brother.
If a man is happy with with his wife and the wife is not happy with the man, the marriage will survive.
BUT
if a man is not happy with his wife and the wife is happy with the man, the marriage will not last.
Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by ise82(m): 5:02am On Feb 27, 2020
LagosBoi2:
You just got to know one of the reasons they last together for that long, not even their lovely daughter can come in between the love and respect she has for her husband.

Money is the number one problem in today's relationships, once a woman is greedy and her whole life revolves around money and noting but money, she will likely not make a good wife.

She can do anything for money, at the expense of the union, she may not be able to cope if there is any down time for the man which comes in our life circle because life is not a bed of roses.

Noting gives a marriage security like having a wife who can turn down the richest man in the world for the love of her husband. Begin to test many wives with huge money and expensive gifts and watch them make sweet excuses for leaving relationship of many years.

I respect your uncommon wisdom.
Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by pheonixdld2(m): 5:09am On Feb 27, 2020
Cooked up story, don't believe one bit of it.
Why;
There is no way a couple you said had lived for 40years together and might have children who at most would be in their early 30s have any child who wouldn't know exactly how the parents handle some issues, impossicant. Imagine a 30 year old not know what to do with the money realised from the spraying on a party and even asking what to do like a child. Haba!!!

4 Likes

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by cjudy(m): 5:10am On Feb 27, 2020
post=86985624:
Just Yesterday, we came across this post below on a thread talking about how are you going to share 100K between your parents.
We answered and posted an image of sharing it 50/50 to our mothers and fathers @[color=#006600][/color].

But later in the day, the post below from this very wise lady almost changed our perspective to this matter.

Enjoy The GOLDEN words below....



Wow, this is a Frontpage material.
You are blessed among women Freshvine!
You are a woman of virtue.
It is sooo refreshing to know that we still have reasonable and sensible people like you on this forum sis.
This is a breathe of fresh air, Freshvine.
Hugs Hugs Hugs dearie... kiss

Again, Stay blessed Freshvine,
You are truly a breath of fresh air. kiss

You don't know anything apart from Darling President. Stop commenting on family matters please because all your advices are for the zombies.

1 Like

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by Emk5556: 5:11am On Feb 27, 2020
Femsyn:
To buttress the OP's views...

I read this story and i laughed... i laughed hard because marriage is complex and is often more that what meets the eye.

Do you know the couple's story? They alone, know why they act in the manner they do. Look! how a woman or wife react in marriage is borne more of the input of the husband. What you see is what you get.

Let me ask you a question? Do you think the woman would've reacted the same way, if the man is often of the habit of squandering family cash on irrelevant things, stays away from the house with girlfriends, ignores the wife, does not carry the wife along in major decisions and does not take care of the home?

Young men, don't read hastily. The man the OP depicted up there is a responsible man. Most women align with their husbands easily, when the man is doing the needful.

The man has done enough for the reward you saw for few moments. Men, that reward doesn't come automatically. You work for it!!!

My response is not for the OP, because s/he has done justice with the points given thereafter. My response is for men who might read hastily, and assume the wife's behaviour is follow-come.
you are right my brother. Even the bible said husbands should love their wives. While wives should be submissive. The mans duty comes first before the woman. Am a living witness. Today marriages are full of misplaced priorities. Men this days marry because of what they think a their wives can bring also to the table. "A woman does not add value to a man. She compliments the mans value." God bless us all.

4 Likes

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by tomdon(m): 5:32am On Feb 27, 2020
Femsyn:
To buttress the OP's views...

I read this story and i laughed... i laughed hard because marriage is complex and is often more that what meets the eye.

Do you know the couple's story? They alone, know why they act in the manner they do. Look! how a woman or wife react in marriage is borne more of the input of the husband. What you see is what you get.

Let me ask you a question? Do you think the woman would've reacted the same way, if the man is often of the habit of squandering family cash on irrelevant things, stays away from the house with girlfriends, ignores the wife, does not carry the wife along in major decisions and does not take care of the home?

Young men, don't read hastily. The man the OP depicted up there is a responsible man. Most women align with their husbands easily, when the man is doing the needful.

The man has done enough for the reward you saw for few moments. Men, that reward doesn't come automatically. You work for it!!!

My response is not for the OP, because s/he has done justice with the points given thereafter. My response is for men who might read hastily, and assume the wife's behaviour is follow-come.



You are a wiser man
You really helped articulate my points albeit more aptly
It was the follow up points that saved the OP if not it would'nt have made sense.
Not all men crave vain glory.
The OP is a woman and is trying to glorify men. The man is the head but they're both equal partners in the union. The old woman is just extra wise and a peace lover

4 Likes

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by Acidosis(m): 5:37am On Feb 27, 2020
Dividing the money is a stup!d idea. That's a way of separating what God has joined together. I hope you won't try this with newly weds after their couple dance. You just might break the home on the very day it starts. The senseless 30 year old daughter should also know better. How can you grow up in a family where the wife sees her husband as the head and still go ahead to share "their" money in ratio of 50:50?? No sense after 30 years of living with peaceful parents. That's what feminism does.

1 Like

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by jp130(m): 5:45am On Feb 27, 2020
Last match for dis season is today, congratulations to teams awaiting thier promotion to upper league. Congrats managers

Check my signature n thank me later
Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by ise82(m): 5:47am On Feb 27, 2020
nextlevel2020:
I am a single and I am at my late 30s, but when issue of marriage arises my heart always beat. I am privilege to have good job with 6 digits salary and I own my house, but the greatest fear I am facing is what I experience from my colleagues marriages on daily basis couple with my jungle life to the stardom. To cut my story brief, I will talk about my colleague who is also my closest friend's marriage to illustrate my fear for taking the bold step. This my friend married a pretty young lady and they started life together from scratch and they were blessed with two kids. Few years later, they built their home in one remote area and they began to live there without any neighbor. The first day I visited them, I have nothing but to praise the woman for developing such audacity to live alone whenever my friend leave for work. As time goes on, my friend decided to allow his wife to enroll for her degree program in order to better their future and the life of their two kids. When the woman finished the program, she said that she is done with the marriage and that was the end. Pastors from their church, family members and friends did everything to find out what went wrong but all efforts to get things to normalcy proved abortive. Few months later, Lawyer brought divorce letter and that was the end.

One thing I learned from their marriage is that, for a couple to live together till death puts them apart, there must be effective communication and determination to sustain the union. Till today, my friend could not say this was what went wrong in his marriage and the woman also muted till she sent divorce letter.

About my jungle life. I want to say a little about myself and I do hope that the good people in this platform can advise me to kill the fear I have for marriage.
I am from a very humble background and none of my parents has formal education. I began primary school when I was closed to fourteen, I was able to foster myself from primary to tertiary institution with the help of farming activities and site jobs. These periods, I encountered several humiliations that I can't share all. The girl I was dating then, said to me open that I should go and look for my wife elsewhere because she could not see any traces of survival from me and she left me for someone else. Five months later, I got an appointment with multinational firm and God has been faithful in all aspects of my life. I have traveled to Europe and some Africa countries too but the phobia of who will make me happy and will not abscond from my life like my friend's wife is the greatest concern am facing at the moment.

Most girls we have now are selfish... once they are empowered or see a better person financially they jump ship.
Never pity any lady and marry her because 95% of them are with you just because of the money. That’s why I pity guys that think u can buy love or entice a girl to marry you. Men should run tests on their ladies to see if they are fit.
Test her with money. Pretend you don’t have and do it several times. Don’t be a nice guy.
Money is number one thing that will guide. Trust me 99% of girls will fail the test in this age of “buy me subscription or recharge ”.
Run the test of materialism. Is she attached to material things? We know material things won’t last. If you married a woman using ur car and in 10yrs time u can’t upgrade she will possibly leave u for a better car owner.
Our fathers tested their wives or their mothers assisted them. Don’t relied on your understanding. Run tests!

I’m saying this because because most of the times men will have a lot to lose than gain if the marriage fails.
The girls of this generation have lost it completely and it’s your responsibility to find a good one and leave the rest to roam the streets.
The prophecy will be fulfilled in this generation many women will regret later and seek for men to just attach to just to bear his name and they will find none.

3 Likes

Re: What I Learnt From A Wedding Anniversary That Could Help Save Marriages Today by RexTramadol1: 5:55am On Feb 27, 2020
Mzflexydeeva:
flesh and blood didn’t reveal this to you


Lmao na Peter jnr he be

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