*I waited nearly 20 years for my lover to leave his wife – then she died and he ghosted me*



My lover was planning to leave his wife for me - and then she died
My lover was planning to leave his wife for me - after her death, I haven't heard from him CREDIT: MISTERNED.COM/MISTERNED.COM
Anonymous .


We’ve been together for 19 years. I was 26 when we met and he was 38 and I knew I should run a mile. He was my boss, married, the life and soul of every gathering, clever, kind and funny.

When we started seeing each other he was in anguish, partly because he’s a practising Christian but mainly about inflicting a divorce on his three young children.

He swore he loved me and wanted me to leave him because he wouldn’t end his marriage until his children were older.

It was my choice to stay, grabbing every spare moment with him.

I’d had a few relationships, but had never met anyone who made me feel so interesting, so loved, so special.

The rest of my life was totally separate and my friends got fed up with being dumped at a moment’s notice.

Then he worried that colleagues would find out and helped me find another, better-paid job, which meant I could afford a mortgage for a tiny flat. I was constantly promoted because I had so much time to work.

We managed a couple of evenings a week and the occasional weekend away and I knew our time would come eventually.

We had an amazing love life but it wasn’t just that – we shared books and discussed them endlessly, argued over politics and loved the same music and anything outdoors.

We cooked for each other in my flat as we didn’t go out in our home town but nine years ago a friend of his wife saw us together on a weekend away.

When he said his wife knew, I thought that, despite the upset, this was our chance to make it official and be together.

Instead, he promised her he’d give me up and told me that he wanted to stay with his family for another five years, until the youngest went to uni.

He said he totally understood if I couldn’t accept that and wanted to finish things. But I couldn’t face life without him. The five years were nearly over when his wife became ill with cancer.


Obviously, he couldn’t leave her then, but despite guilt on both sides, our affair continued.

She died five months ago. The day after that he told me he would need a bit of space to look after his children and organise all the practicalities but said that in time we’d be together.

I’ve not heard from him since. He doesn’t answer my texts. He posts about grief and acceptance and love on social media, portraying a very different marriage from the one I thought he had, but maybe that’s for his children.

I can’t eat or sleep properly and work is a blur. I don’t even have children to distract me as we both knew that was never an option. That was fine; it was always just him and the fun we had that mattered to me.

Last week, I went to an event hoping he might be there, and he was, with his adult children – and another woman. He gave me a casual wave. I asked another friend – tactfully – who the woman was, and was told she is a close friend of his wife who’s been helping them all.

The friend said: “It’s early days yet but we’re all hoping he’ll find some happiness with her after all he’s been through. And the kids love her…” I couldn’t believe my ears and I’m almost sure she’s got it wrong. Surely nearly 20 years can’t be forgotten just like that?

Maybe he’s feeling guilty – we saw much more of each other when his wife was ill and the night before she died he was making love to me.

But she’s gone now and no one knows about us so I hoped I would gradually slip into his life.

We always said we were meant to be together and I want to see him, but I can’t make myself go. I’ve no one to talk to, as we kept everything totally secret, but I’m scared that if I confront him that will be the end.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/relationships/waited-nearly-20-years-lover-leave-wife-died-ghosted/?WT

The title of this movie is "20 Years Love"

Some people say we can't help who we fall in love with... But

Dear single ladies.. Relationships like this will destroy your future if you don't get out of it quickly..I know people do these for economic reasons(money)but never do it for love
Unless you plan to be a 2nd,3rd or 4th wife..hehehe
Do not stand in the way of your progress... Just look for courage and get out of the situation..In the long run you will heal and eventually meet someone who is worthy of all the love you have...
Even if you don't meet someone..Don't be a home wrecker :

I don't blame the man. The man needed someone young, fresh and trustworthy, not some old cargo who have been praying and wishing evil for her fellow woman for 20 years!. Who knows if u don't have a hand in the woman's death?

In Michael Jackson's voice ..,. I am Speechless!

you see , you failed to understand something here.... you were busy praying and hoping for a future that you forgot to live for the moment .... those moments you shared together even if the relationship doesn't lead anywhere, treasure them and move on.... not every relationship must lead to marriage.....

Camelot3:
The woman died of cancer. Read it well

I read where it was said the man's wife was ill but I haven't seen where it mentioned cancer.

This is not fair, for 20years.

Serves her right. She was building castle in the air.
I pity those women dating married men with the hope that they will leave their wife for you.

Menopause will be their neighbour soon

Sometimes I wonder if some people actually have sense of reasoning tueh,wonders shall never end

Better man

This is how my first love.. is waiting for an army guy for 5yrs now... Congrats madam @45yrs