₦airaland Forum

NdiaraIGBO:
Na lie! Unless the woman has other psychological or self esteem issues.

Most people marry within their social class.
A rich man marrying a poor woman is the exception and not the rule.

A banker that marries a teacher is not a rich man marrying a poor woman, he is just
average. He is one salary away from poverty.

There will be zero cases of fatal domestic violence if women actually leave their poor husbands due to abuse.

Have you been to the ghettos?

Kiaka8:
[s][/s]

Kiaka8 ode!

Born2conquer:
Lalasticlala and SEUN help me

I need to act today, this morning
This marriage should be broken off

Must you talk

IneedSugarMumy1:
How do you want lalasticala to help you

Is he a judge or is he the pastor/iman that joined them

Oga carry your matter go court file divorce there

Because you don't know whose who on Nairaland. A chief Judge may be here.
Don't think because you are clueless, means everyone else is the same.

By the way, Lalastical can push it to the frontpage to receive better views.

healthserve:
Ethanol has never killed anyone human. Excessive abuse and continuous abuse of ethanol and alcohol is what kills. Do your research. While you continue to carry your hatred for me, at least be tactful about it. Your antiseptics and lots of pharmaceuticals ( sterilizing compounds) are ethanol based. Do your research


You can win me in anything. But not in chemistry especially medical biochemistry. And please stop quoting me. Stop it.

Is this guy ok? When have I been quoting you? I don’t even remember that I hate you! So I am an online hater now? Wtf? . I have been called many things but never that. Back to the argument, you obviously don’t know Chemistry. If you did you will never recommend ethanol for consumption. See Below:

Hazards Associated with Using Ethanol

Even though ethanol is very commonly used, it is a dangerous chemical. As previously mentioned, it is highly flammable; as such, it has exact flash points which are important to know when using it. While ethanol is consumed when drinking alcoholic beverages, consuming ethanol alone can cause coma and death. Ethanol may also be a carcinogenic; studies are still being done to determine this. However, ethanol is a toxic chemical and should be treated and handled as such, whether at work or in the home.

https://www.msdsonline.com/2014/04/21/ethanol-versatile-common-and-potentially-dangerous/

By the way, stop carrying around hate. Once you log out, every argument should be forgotten. As you see I have moved on a long time from your perceived dislike. I barely remember the username. You take Nairaland too seriously FYI

[s]

NdiaraIGBO:
Empty brain! People like you are just crazy. You will allow person die because of marriage? May be you are also crippled and can't survive on your own, long throat. This is the reason my girls must be professionals and independent by force! Otherwise I will not partake in any stupid marriage.

[/s]

[s]

NdiaraIGBO:
Don't be fooled by the bright lights and beautiful pictures!

[/s]

Born2conquer:
If I don’t act FAST, I might lose my sister

She made a mistake marrying this beast and I can’t keep on looking.

Please, what’s the fastest way to institute a divorce in lagos?

Why are you acting like you just got to know your sister married a disguised money ritualist? Give is insight so we can know how to advise you. We can't do that in perception, you know?

[s]

NdiaraIGBO:
Na lie! Unless the woman has other psychological or self esteem issues.

[/s]

[s]

NdiaraIGBO:
Kiaka8 ode!

[/s]

NdiaraIGBO:
Kiaka8 ode!

sometimes I wonder how a man will raise his hands and beat a woman once or twice...it just look too stupid to me that some foolish guys actually exist

Hhansome:
Your phone can type this here but cannot type it on Google I guess?

Lol...

Leezah:
HOW TO GET A DIVORCE IN NIGERIA

This article is for people who have decided that they want to get a divorce. Simple. This article is not meant to give advice on whether or not you should try to make your marriage work, or go to marriage counselling. No. The point of the article is to state as clearly as possible what you need to consider when you have made the decision to get a divorce.

Under Nigerian law, a marriage can only be ended in 2 ways – by the death of one of the partners, or by an order of the court.

The divorce process is the process to follow in order to get a court order to dissolve a marriage. Unlike in some countries where a divorce can be a relatively quick process, it would appear that the law in Nigeria has been made unduly cumbersome (rightly so in some people’s opinion), to ensure that marriage contracts and divorces are not entered into willy-nilly.

The first thing you should know is that you will need the services of a lawyer to get a divorce. Under Nigerian divorce law, a lawyer has to represent you in court in order to bring your case for divorce. Now, we could end this article at this point, and say, if you need a divorce, then go out and get a lawyer. However, that would be defeating the purpose of this article, what we want to do is explain in some more detail what the divorce process entails, so you know what to expect.


PREPARATION
Step 1- you need to understand what type of marriage you have. The divorce process depends to a large extent on how the marriage was solemnised. In present day Nigeria, most of the marriages are registered (i.e. you and your partner have a Marriage licence from a Marriage Registry), these sorts of marriages are referred to as marriages under the Act, and we shall focus on this type of marriage in this article.

Step 2 – you need to understand why you want a divorce, what is the reason for the divorce. Under the Matrimonial Causes Act (the law which governs the divorce process in Nigeria), there are certain stated grounds which can be used to dissolve a marriage. They include things like adultery, living apart for a period of time, habitual drunkenness, criminal acts etc. You need to ensure that your reason for divorce can fit into one of the grounds to prove divorce. You can read more about the grounds of divorce here. However, don’t worry too much about this now, once you speak to a lawyer he/she will listen to your case and advise you properly on which ground of divorce your reason may be able to fit under.

Step 3 – You need to begin to think about what you want out of the divorce. This will largely depend on the specific situations of your marriage. Things you should begin to consider are:

Who will have custody of children?
Will your spouse pay for maintenance of the children?
If you are unemployed, do you want maintenance from your spouse? (you will need to prove why the court should grant this)
How will the property be shared? Do you believe you are 100% entitled to certain property because you paid for them? Etc.
These are some of the things you need to be thinking about, but again, don’t worry about it too much, a good lawyer will be able to elicit this information from you and ensure all the bases are covered and you are adequately protected and you get what you deserve.


THE DIVORCE PROCESS
Step 1 – The divorce process officially commences when your lawyer files what is known as a petition for divorce in the High Court. This bundle of documents basically states your case- who you are married to, where you got married, how long you have been married for, why you want a divorce, what you want from the divorce, and any evidence to back this up. This is where the lawyer begins to earn their fee. They will draft and file all the necessary court processes and ensure you have put forward your petition in a logical and professional manner. If you are the person who filed the petition you are referred to as the petitioner, and your spouse is the respondent.

Step 2– Once the document is filed in the court, it will be given a file number in the court system (the Family court division), and then the contents of your petition will be served on (delivered to) your spouse (and his lawyer). Your spouse will be given a certain number of days (it varies based on which State your petition is filed) to respond to your petition. The content of the response will depend on if your spouse also wants a divorce.

Step 3 – Once your spouse has replied to your petition, the courts will then hear the case in open court. If there are any witnesses that need to be called to corroborate any evidence, they will appear in court.

Step 4 – If the judge is satisfied that a divorce should be granted, then it grants what is known as a ‘decree nisi’, basically that the marriage should be dissolved. However, the decree nisi does not mean that it has been dissolved, you will have to wait for another 3 months, and then the decree nisi will become a ‘decree absolute’.

Step 5 – the judge has the power to grant custody of any children to either spouse, and can make orders for the payment of maintenance (for the spouse and children), and also make orders for the settlement of any property of the marriage.


The above is a very general overview of the divorce process. As each marriage will have its own specific set of facts, the process will vary, and that is why it is important to seek the advice and counsel of a qualified lawyer before embarking on a divorce. Source-LawPadi
*************************************************************************************************************************************************************
You can start a divorce process in two ways: mutual consent divorce or contested divorce.

A divorce by mutual consent is a kind of divorce whereby both the husband and wife mutually agree to end their marriage and decide the terms and conditions of their divorce amicably. Mutual consent divorce is also called an uncontested divorce as the husband and wife file a joint divorce petition without the need to contest it in the court.

There are basically 3 conditions which can be fulfilled to get a mutual consent divorce These grounds are:

-Both the parties to the marriage have been living separately for a period of one year or more
-They have not been able to live together
-They have now mutually agreed for the dissolution of the marriage

Documents Required
*Address proof of husband
*Address proof of wife
*Marriage certificate
*Four passport size photographs of the marriage of husband and wife
*Evidence proving spouses are living separately for more than a year.
*Evidence relating to the failed attempts of reconciliation
*Further when the case proceeds in the Courts; there are certain other documents which have to be presented to get a Divorce Decree:

Income Tax Returns (3 years)
Details of present income
Birth and family details
The details of the assets
Competent Court and Jurisdiction

There are various courts that can try a Divorce case, but eventually, only the competent court must be approached to get a Regular Valid Decree. The petition for mutual divorce can be filled in these competent courts:

1. The court having jurisdiction over the area where couple seeking divorce last lived together
2. The court having jurisdiction over the area where the marriage was solemnized
3. The court having jurisdiction over the area where the wife is residing as of present
4. Procedure To Obtain Mutual Consent Divorce

The process of getting the divorce might seem a little hectic, yet it the ideal process to follow the same. The procedure being:

-Petition to be filed under Marriage Act,
-Both the parties need to file this petition together seeking the divorce before the District Court.
-The parties intending to dissolve a marriage can file for divorce after at least one year from the date of marriage.
-Both the parties need to file the petition together seeking the divorce before the District Court.
-Parties are required to show that they have been living separately for a period of one year or more before the presentation of the petition for divorce.
-Jurisdiction is with the Family Court of the city/ district where the parties last resided together (matrimonial home).
-The divorce petition is filed in the form of affidavit thereby stating that the divorce is by mutual consent and containing the agreed clauses by the parties. (First Motion)
-Recording of statements of both parties by the court.
-Six months of cooling period (not more than eighteen months in any case) granted by the court in a case to the parties wish to consider any reconciliation.
-During the period of six months, any of the party is fully entitled to withdraw the mutual consent by filing an application before the court.
-After six months, parties present themselves in front of the court.
-Parties confirm the mutual consent filed earlier. (Second Motion).
-Decree of Divorce granted by the court.

Contested Divorce
Contested divorce is where one party does not want to dissolve the marriage for whatever reasons. One-sided divorce takes place when one spouse has the grounds for separation and wishes to end the marriage. As the name suggests, the husband and wife contest each other to get the most out of a divorce proceeding and hire a divorce lawyer in India to represent their interest.

To contest a divorce in courts, the following procedure is laid down:

Filing a divorce petition- After recognising the court of appropriate jurisdiction, the contested divorce petition must be drafted by an experienced divorce attorney and must contain the issues and problems that have arisen out of the marriage and mention the grounds on which the petitioner wants to file a divorce. Once the divorce petition is filed, the court will issue summons to the other spouse notifying him/her that a divorce case has been filed by their spouse.

Reply by the opposite party- Once the summons has been sent, the opposite party is required to write his/her reply to such petition explaining their side. However, if the opposite party choose not to show up at the hearing date, the court may proceed to give a decision after hearing the side of one party only.

Interim decision- At the initial stage, the court might suggest that the divorcing spouses take up the process of mediation to settle their disputes before getting a divorce. Mediation will involve a third neutral party who will help in mediating communication between the spouses.

Filing of evidence- If the mediation does not give a positive result, normal proceedings resume and the evidence is submitted by divorce lawyers of both the spouses. Examination and cross-examination take place- evidence from the petitioner is taken into record first and then from the opposite party.

Final arguments- Once the evidence is filed, final arguments between the parties take place. Final arguments are the primary deciding factors on which the court finalises dissolution of marriage.

Divorce decree- At the conclusion of arguments, the court gives out its final judgment and passes a divorce decree.

That was a home run. Thanks

NdiaraIGBO:
Don't be fooled by the bright lights and beautiful pictures!

Choi... I get yiu though

wisdomkid:
Because you don't know whose who on Nairaland. A chief Judge may be here.
Don't think because you are clueless, means everyone else is the same.

By the way, Lalastical can push it to the frontpage to receive better views.

So the chief judge will automatically take up the case right
Lol

Born2conquer:
Ladies should avoid guys like this.

Na them

Oh shut the fvck up.
Right that moment, he gave you a workable advice, because no one here knows what the issue is, if any.

healthserve:
You don't need her to file for divorce before you save her life. Find a cheap mini flat far from him and when he's away, move her things. Divorce can come in later but first secure her safety



The best treatment and prevention for coronavorus is ethanol Fashola was right


Either by using strong alcohol to wash the hands, or the guy tract by ingesting and hanging it before swallowing or spilling, or by outright consumption, Ethanol is the best treatment for Coronavirus.


I don't have time to make careful and prudent explanation, but if are around anyone with it or that wants to prevent it, let them get alcohol, please not above 35% alcohol base.


As long as it is Unflavored alcohol. It can work effectively for prevention and treatment. The virus can't withstand the chemical strength of ethanol, hence alcohol is it's most potent enemy




Please share this information

Remember that the White men drink more of Alcohol than African countries.

Na woooo

When crisis in marriage gets to the point of threat to life, let the woman peacefully seperate from the man and return to her parents and handle the rest from there.

Amberon11:
Can you type sensibly? How does her brother's NL comment warrant his sister's beating?

can you read with your common sense? You saw nothing wrong with his outlandish comment that he has earned more than a man would earn his entire life? If you don't want oriburuku to be your portion don't quote me anyhow. If a man could spit out such rubbish can you imagine the nonsense that would come out of the woman raised in the same family with such man?

With the way you are shouting up and down I can deduce possible character of your sister. That character is able to bring out the beast in any man.

Born2conquer:
Lalasticlala and SEUN help me

I need to act today, this morning
This marriage should be broken off

I dont know you but l can bet you are not even married!
Marry first and then come back to tell us how it feels to "break-off this marriage".

Some of you like to cry more than the bereaved, if your Sister is convinced that her life is in imminent danger, she would walk out of the house and not return there.
Even you that is forming "holy Saviour" here, why dont you just house your sister or rent an appartment for her so "The Beast" can be left on his own?

I suspect you are one of those siblings who like to interfere and control the affairs of their married sibling and instigate fights between couples.
Mind your own business before thunder fire you, HOME DESTROYER

Excuzeme:
I dont know you but l can bet you are not even married![/b]
Marry first and then come back to tell us how it feels to "break-off this marriage".

Some of you like to cry more than the bereaved, if your Sister is convinced that her life is in imminent danger, she would walk out of the house and not return there.
Even you that is forming "holy Saviour" here, why dont you just house your sister or rent an appartment for her so "The Beast" can be left on his own?

I suspect you are one of those siblings who like to interfere and control the affairs of their married sibling and instigate fights between couples.
Mind your own business before thunder fire you, HOME DESTROYER

I have no business with the marriage and i’ve never been involved.
I was just opportuned to sleep over once at their side and i saw his colour.

As i am typing to you know, she stripped my sis naked outside in the compound and also sent her loads out.

I foresaw this when i opened this thread.

rawfact:
You are not helping the situation either. Meanwhile, why repeatedly boasting of being richer than your sister's husband? What is the essence or objective of such comparison? For me, it is needless. And that's my modest way of saying it is senseless.

If you've made such utterance before him or prepped up your sister to say same or more, then you would have used immaturity to worsen things for your sister whether she remains in the marriage or turn out a divorcee.

I read one of your topics where you narrated how you felt disappointed over your girlfriend sharing her nude for money. And you revealed that you were just giving relationship a trial. Strangely, you were asking for what to do because you couldn't just "divorce" her. Guess you were insanely in love. Yeah, because "crazy love" is the only thing that can make a guy remain in a relationship with an Olosho. My point is that you still desired that things worked out between both of you rather than have the relationship come to an end. That is even something that is not marriage.

So what are you suppose to do differently for your sister?

1. Stop disrespecting her husband either before or behind him. That includes when she insults/curses him before you. Also, stop looking for divorce for her. Some women literally lost their sanity after securing divorce for themselves. Some became professional prostitute in the process of looking for a replacement for their ex-husband.

2. Talk to your sister about those things that bring about such awry moments. Advice her to regularly contract the services of Local Counselors that are married, currently living with their spouse under the same roof and well over 50 years old. You said she is financially okay by herself. Sadly, not all Nigerian women can handle such position. Kudos to Madam Folorunso Alakija, a multi-billionaire with undying humility for her husband (despite her wealth), which has helped her to keep her home intact alongside her array of businesses over the years.

3. Look for every way to befriend your sister's husband. At this period, visit their place more often and intentionally support him against your sister if you happen to bump into them arguing. This includes when your sister is obviously right and her husband is wrong. Don't worry, reverse psychology will straighten things up in his mind later on for your sister, particularly when he is all by himself. Moreover, he will subconsciously owe you a lot for that and wouldn't mind hearing your mind on things before dishing out instructions to your sister. At such moments, you will be able to protect your sister's interest as you would have become a force that can make him compromise on any decision that wouldn't be in the interest of your sister. This is a healthy way to "fight" from within for your sister. Anyway, keep working on the friendship till he finds it comfortable to also call you at night to help talk to your sister rather than arguing angrily with her. Fights don't just happen. It mostly start from hot arguments, and such arguments must really be avoided or quickly calmed if the matter that brought it up is unavoidable.

4. Get those elders you claim intervened (whom I believe your sister respect) in the past to help get your sister to succumb to her husband in those areas that brew those ugly quarrels (fighting/violence).

5. Don't stop advising your sister even when you are not hearing of their quarrels. Sometimes, marital quarrels could have spiritual undertone so endevour to be praying for them too. That is better and more productive than looking for ways to sponsor their divorce.


Judging by all that have happened, it would certainly be difficult to do those 5 things listed above but endeavour to since you are so passionate about your sister's marital life.

Disclaimer: If her husband is a heavy drinker or smokes marijuana, cocaine or engage in other form of hard drugs, then discard my advice and seek counsel elsewhere.

I have no business with the marriage and i’ve never been involved.
I was just opportuned to sleep over once at their side and i saw his colour.

As i am typing to you know, she stripped my sis naked outside in the compound and also sent her loads out.

I foresaw this when i opened this thread.

Born2conquer:
I have no business with the marriage and i’ve never been involved.
I was just opportuned to sleep over once at their side and i saw his colour.

As i am typing to you know, she stripped my sis naked outside in the compound and also sent her loads out.

I foresaw this when i opened this thread.

Oh dear, sorry.

In that case, it has really gone bad. Call your people very quickly to call his people so that they can know that your sister will be staying with your family for now pending when both families (hopefully) resolve the issue that erupted such fiasco.

But it is important she doesn't sleep in that house today. It is also very important that his people are aware of where your sister will sleep tonight or for the next couple of days/weeks as your family deem necessary.

Born2conquer:
I have no business with the marriage and i’ve never been involved.
I was just opportuned to sleep over once at their side and i saw his colour.

As i am typing to you know, she stripped my sis naked outside in the compound and also sent her loads out.

I foresaw this when i opened this thread.

Okay, let us take it at face value that your in-law is a violent person and he has thrown her things out.
That in itself, solves your riddle!
Now that she is out, let her go to her family or you can house her for the time being, when you can sort her a place of her own (I think funding should not be a problem for you, according to your words).

Let both of them have sometime to reflect on their new positions (living apart), take a breather and get over their anger.
We have not been told what is at the root of this apparently violent quarrel because a man does not just wake up one day and marry a lady, likewise, a man does not just wake up one day and become "a beast", with respect to his wife, the woman he chose to marry!
There is always more to the issue that is not said.

Is your in-law temperamental? Is he on drugs, is another 'lover' in the picture, from either of the spouses? Is he undergoing some form of financial pressure? Is he mentally unstable?

Is your sister the 'kill-me-l-die-here' type? Is she the type that can kill with her mouth/tongue? Is she confrontational and insulting to her husband? Does she deflate and degrade his ego? Are 'third parties" the cause of their differences?

If a man is not mentally disturbed, l know that there comes a point when he will see the humility, love, care attention and submission from his wife and decide he has not done justice to her, by his treatment of her but this can only happen if the woman is actually not fuelling the anger!

@rawfact has given the best advice on the new development and his posts generally, are spot-on.

Take care of your sister, give her time to think over the relationship (since children are involved), before rushing her for a divorce!
Divorce is a "life-long" decision (think about it for a minute: LIFELONG! ), most divorced couples never comeback again because it sows the seeds of hatred between them.
Since they also have children between them, it ruins the life of those children and can even cut-short their glory in life so, if it can be avoided, it should be avoided at all cost!

They are separate now, what friends and family should be doing are:
- getting to the root of the issues that is causing the fights
- treating those issues and resolving them dispassionately
- set standards for both spouses, with the hope that they can reconcile, if they still love each other
- letting the husband state concisely, what he wants from his wife, that will make him love and treat her like a wife should be treated
- Asking the wife if she is willing, comfortable and accepting to do such things (it could just be an issue of submisison to authority within the household, smart women know how to submit to their husband while still being the ones in charge of the house )
- Asking the wife to say what her husband does that she will prefer he not do to her
- Asking the husband if he is comfortable and willing to drop those things, for the sake of love for his wife.\
- If they both agree, they can reconcile and all will be fine, with counselling and non-interference from overbearing family members.
Solve their problem and give them space to breath and workout their relationship till it settles down.

Note: Close to 80% of marriages crash within the first five years.
Another 15% will last between ten years and crash while less than 5% actually survive.
But once a marriage can survive the 5year storm and make it to the 10yr mark, it is likely to last till death do them apart thus, it is important to assist couples to survive that first ten year period, alot will happen in between but at the end, there will be calm after the storm.

rawfact:
You are not helping the situation either. Meanwhile, why repeatedly boasting of being richer than your sister's husband? What is the essence or objective of such comparison? For me, it is needless. And that's my modest way of saying it is senseless.

If you've made such utterance before him or prepped up your sister to say same or more, then you would have used immaturity to worsen things for your sister whether she remains in the marriage or turn out a divorcee.

I read one of your topics where you narrated how you felt disappointed over your girlfriend sharing her nude for money. And you revealed that you were just giving relationship a trial. Strangely, you were asking for what to do because you couldn't just "divorce" her. Guess you were insanely in love. Yeah, because "crazy love" is the only thing that can make a guy remain in a relationship with an Olosho. My point is that you still desired that things worked out between both of you rather than have the relationship come to an end. That is even something that is not marriage.

So what are you suppose to do differently for your sister?

1. Stop disrespecting her husband either before or behind him. That includes when she insults/curses him before you. Also, stop looking for divorce for her. Some women literally lost their sanity after securing divorce for themselves. Some became professional prostitute in the process of looking for a replacement for their ex-husband.

2. Talk to your sister about those things that bring about such awry moments. Advice her to regularly contract the services of Local Counselors that are married, currently living with their spouse under the same roof and well over 50 years old. You said she is financially okay by herself. Sadly, not all Nigerian women can handle such position. Kudos to Madam Folorunso Alakija, a multi-billionaire with undying humility for her husband (despite her wealth), which has helped her to keep her home intact alongside her array of businesses over the years.

3. Look for every way to befriend your sister's husband. At this period, visit their place more often and intentionally support him against your sister if you happen to bump into them arguing. This includes when your sister is obviously right and her husband is wrong. Don't worry, reverse psychology will straighten things up in his mind later on for your sister, particularly when he is all by himself. Moreover, he will subconsciously owe you a lot for that and wouldn't mind hearing your mind on things before dishing out instructions to your sister. At such moments, you will be able to protect your sister's interest as you would have become a force that can make him compromise on any decision that wouldn't be in the interest of your sister. This is a healthy way to "fight" from within for your sister. Anyway, keep working on the friendship till he finds it comfortable to also call you at night to help talk to your sister rather than arguing angrily with her. Fights don't just happen. It mostly start from hot arguments, and such arguments must really be avoided or quickly calmed if the matter that brought it up is unavoidable.

4. Get those elders you claim intervened (whom I believe your sister respect) in the past to help get your sister to succumb to her husband in those areas that brew those ugly quarrels (fighting/violence).

5. Don't stop advising your sister even when you are not hearing of their quarrels. Sometimes, marital quarrels could have spiritual undertone so endevour to be praying for them too. That is better and more productive than looking for ways to sponsor their divorce.


Judging by all that have happened, it would certainly be difficult to do those 5 things listed above but endeavour to since you are so passionate about your sister's marital life.

Disclaimer: If her husband is a heavy drinker or smokes marijuana, cocaine or engage in other form of hard drugs, then discard my advice and seek counsel elsewhere.

rawfact:
Oh dear, sorry.

In that case, it has really gone bad. Call your people very quickly to call his people so that they can know that your sister will be staying with your family for now pending when both families (hopefully) resolve the issue that erupted such fiasco.

But it is important she doesn't sleep in that house today. It is also very important that his people are aware of where your sister will sleep tonight or for the next couple of days/weeks as your family deem necessary.

I love your posts on this issue.

Already avoided since 1800

Born2conquer:
Ladies should avoid guys like this.

Na them

Excuzeme:
I love your posts on this issue.

Gracias

Your sister is the only one that can help herself, let her keep enduring beating. We will type rip. She is even working. Good for her, you are running helter skelter because she is your sister. I hope she is still breathing?