Ok

y'all in relationships come n help a brother o..

southniyikaye:
8 years, 8 solid years of sacrificing my effort, support, care was shattered in just few minutes.
Got her as my girlfriend in 2012 and we got married in 2016.
Have been the one taking care of both of us since then, worked, and sacrificed my all. Almost died because of her 4times not gonna go into details.
She was arrogant, stubborn and disrespectful but I was able to keep those attitudes in check.
We go two kids together and have been doing my best as a man, they never lack anything. But last year things got worst and she have to go stay with her parents this year Feb while I aquat somewhere trying to get my life together and start all over.
Am this type of person that put people above me, I put even strangers needs above mine, am 300% soft and take things to heart, a confirmed simp like ubunja will call it.(I wish the redpill will actually be a tablet to swallow) cos all I read couldn't help me cos I take things to heart too much, have taken this relationship to the heart.
The fact that I gat kids and a understanding wife still kept me going not minding the financial problems I have cos I believe one day things will change for the better.
I don't have friends, right from sec sch days, that's how have been, 1 man squad have been my thing. I can stay indoor for years without going out, I am not gonna feel it a bit. Enough of the stort(but just letting you know the type of person I was.)
2days ago so I was chatting my wife and telling her things gonna be okay soon that I am hopeful and I want us to restrrategise and plan for our future and that of our kids, I said a lot of of things that can shape our future but I was wounded by the answer she gave me like
WHATEVER SUIT YOU
tried to make her smile
And she was like, any problems?
Her answers, her attitude, her behavior was so cold to me, like someone who was already tired but just don't know how to say it.
I know she always want to live a flashy life, a life without stress, worries and pain.
Believe me, I can vouch for her, she is not promiscuous, but the way she spoke was like she already found an alternative or someone was already talking to her and she is almost convinced or sort of.
Have been shattered since then and I just feel like I was gonna have an attack. It really hit me so hard.
Maybe if I had been a bad boy from inception, It won't affect me this much. I can't just think straight, high BP, couldn't eat.
Pls guys advice me am going insane sincerely.
Eight good years and I can swear on my life, I have never cheated not even flirt cos I find it extremely difficult to cheat.

Cc ubunja

And yes I spent almost 10hours going through all ubunja's topics, tried to form the hard guy and just wave everything off and move on and pretend like it never happened but I can't.
Wish REDPILL WAS ACTUALLY A TABLET I COULD USE.

Cc rocktation
Cc farano

U gat all those red flag when u were dating her..yet u went ahead to home her.

G get out from here with all these name dropping.

So because she said suit yourself, you come dey look for who go support your thread.

You haven't told us if she cheated on you.

She's also taking the pressure just like you.

Do you know what it means for a married lady to go back to her parents house with kids, while you walk free.

You couldn't put your house in order.
That's why you're in this mess.


Let me give you a secret.

She doesn't want to hear your stupid stories, just make things work out

freesoul12:


U gat all those red flag when u were dating her..yet u went ahead to home her.

I overlooked them cos I saw her loyalty, she doesn't cheat, she is a good cook and she never denied me the do anytime I feel like.
So I believed I can manage those other things. And sincerely for eight years I was able to control them

I was in a similar relationship then.I have to let her go cos i knew this is the kind of thing one wil be facing in the nearest future. Carry your cross my brother.. I know God will surely help u out

southniyikaye:
I overlooked them cos I saw her loyalty, she doesn't cheat, she is a good cook and she never denied me the do anytime I feel like.
So I believed I can manage those other things. And sincerely for eight years I was able to control them

Boss,I get your point...Some girls can't cheat on you but their character alone is worse than cheating.Cheating is not the only criteria u look up to if ure to home a girl

Go to her and have a heart to heart talk.
It's too early to conclude that she has abandoned you.
She is not happy with your situation but her reaction is wrong dats all.

Wow.... Feeling sorry for Op

Man file for a divorce and take custody of your kids... That woman is going to drain you coupled with the financial challenges you're facing now

Please for the sake of your health

Cc lefulefu

you are your own, the sooner you make peace with this the better for you to able to make inform decisions.
cheating is not the only thing that can destroy marraige.

anybody that smiles with you only when things are rossy is never a reliable person.

its time you start keeping your plans to yourself cos in this trying times YOU are all you have.

its obvious your wife seem uninterested, then stop engaging her, leave her be.

Brother, I'll advice you let her be for now... Focus in how to get back on your feet and meet ur kids needs... Don't focus ur attention on her attitude. Let ur results and achievements convince her. If she's still available when you're okay and wants to come back to u then u can accept her. If she's not available, be the best dad to your kids and find an independent woman who won't leave u should in case you fall again

inas much you created your own down fall, no redpill can save you at the moment

your job now is to develop yourself, it will be hard to cut contact with your wife if you have kids, if you do not have kids, cut contact with her and focus on rebuilding your self esteem, your self esteem is everything now.

focus on building rather than things you cant control

How on earth she allow you play her up to this level is what i don't understand well i'm glad she's starting to think like a real lady and i think the best thing for her right now is to divorce you and move on cause no woman deserve to be in this terrible situation.....hope she finds love again from a REAL MAN

Never ignore red flags
And also, why isn't she working?
Especially now that things aren't Rosy?

So you expect me to read this story book of yours

southniyikaye:
8 years, 8 solid years of sacrificing my effort, support, care was shattered in just few minutes.
Got her as my girlfriend in 2012 and we got married in 2016.
Have been the one taking care of both of us since then, worked, and sacrificed my all. Almost died because of her 4times not gonna go into details.
She was arrogant, stubborn and disrespectful but I was able to keep those attitudes in check.
We go two kids together and have been doing my best as a man, they never lack anything. But last year things got worst and she have to go stay with her parents this year Feb while I aquat somewhere trying to get my life together and start all over.
Am this type of person that put people above me, I put even strangers needs above mine, am 300% soft and take things to heart, a confirmed simp like ubunja will call it.(I wish the redpill will actually be a tablet to swallow) cos all I read couldn't help me cos I take things to heart too much, have taken this relationship to the heart.
The fact that I gat kids and a understanding wife still kept me going not minding the financial problems I have cos I believe one day things will change for the better.
I don't have friends, right from sec sch days, that's how have been, 1 man squad have been my thing. I can stay indoor for years without going out, I am not gonna feel it a bit. Enough of the stort(but just letting you know the type of person I was.)
2days ago so I was chatting my wife and telling her things gonna be okay soon that I am hopeful and I want us to restrrategise and plan for our future and that of our kids, I said a lot of of things that can shape our future but I was wounded by the answer she gave me like
WHATEVER SUIT YOU
tried to make her smile
And she was like, any problems?
Her answers, her attitude, her behavior was so cold to me, like someone who was already tired but just don't know how to say it.
I know she always want to live a flashy life, a life without stress, worries and pain.
Believe me, I can vouch for her, she is not promiscuous, but the way she spoke was like she already found an alternative or someone was already talking to her and she is almost convinced or sort of.
Have been shattered since then and I just feel like I was gonna have an attack. It really hit me so hard.
Maybe if I had been a bad boy from inception, It won't affect me this much. I can't just think straight, high BP, couldn't eat.
Pls guys advice me am going insane sincerely.
Eight good years and I can swear on my life, I have never cheated not even flirt cos I find it extremely difficult to cheat.

Cc ubunja

And yes I spent almost 10hours going through all ubunja's topics, tried to form the hard guy and just wave everything off and move on and pretend like it never happened but I can't.
Wish REDPILL WAS ACTUALLY A TABLET I COULD USE.

Cc rocktation
Cc farano

She has since stopped replying my messages and chatting me
And I always see her online

I think you also keep in mind that she's also as stressed as you.
I think it's better you have a face to face conversation and iron things out with her.

Also, she should get something doing no matter how small.
It helps in helping someone appreciate money.

People tend not to know the value of money until they have worked for it.
And at this point you also need help and support.

That's what partners are for to bring support to you when you're down not to add more weight.

Talk to her.
Chats are easy ways to get misunderstood.

Not everything can be discussed through chats.
You might think she doesn't care but she does.
After all what happens next affects both of you.

Guess this saying was true all along.. no romance without finance

@OP It's a man's world. Get your acts together and keep going. Maybe or maybe not she will come back.

Millenniumlady:
How on earth she allow you play her up to this level is what i don't understand well i'm glad she's starting to think like a real lady and i think the best thing for her right now is to divorce you and move on cause no woman deserve to be in this terrible situation.....hope she finds love again from a REAL MAN

Well-done real lady.. Keep it up

...your biggest problem was that you ignored, the line 8,of this your write up when you guyz where dating....you said sh was very arrogant,stubborn and disrespectful....

That is what is now hunting you...

You also said,.. I HV always known sh wanted a falshy lifestyle, stress free and all that...

The truth remains,you HV been the only one working your ass off to make this relationship work....

On the break up fear....like av experience b4..it is very very hard to help your mind off it...cuz sh is a wife and not a relationship

Free that wife of yours for a long time....

If you keep putting pressure on her to come back she will come back putting much more pressure on you....

Brother be wise, the book of proverb spoke alot about things like this..

You saw all this beforehand and you chose to go ahead...

You are soft from the heart no doubt..

Men like you makes these world a better place..
Always believing they can manage the unmanageable

Millenniumlady:
How on earth she allow you play her up to this level is what i don't understand well i'm glad she's starting to think like a real lady and i think the best thing for her right now is to divorce you and move on cause no woman deserve to be in this terrible situation.....hope she finds love again from a REAL MAN

oh my....WTF!!

Sorry bro for the pain.

you have done literally nothing wrong to love your woman n family so much that you provided for them so well when things was going well for you. As a matter of fact u obeyed God's word.

Without mincing words for you, you failed to realise that love is never enough to marry. Before settling for a partner think about her economic advantage. Her arrogance, disrespect n stubborness was there when u dated her for two years but because you thought u were either in love or believed she will change or u can endure.

See bro ! marriage is partnership n you should not feel bad when u can't carry on with the family responsibilities but yes you ought to feel concerned as a man of honour but u married a woman who has never invested in the marriage so she can choose to act anyway because she feels you will be the looser. The Bible says two are better than one so when one falls the other will help the other to stand.

You married a woman who might have asked you countless of times can u take care of me ? a question I detest so much been asked. what is the meaning of she dont want pain she dnt want stress, she wants to live a flashy life style, bro at whose expense ? A woman of economic advantage thinks above all dos bull craps.

The deed is done and won't tell you your wife is bad or you shld not fight for her but this is an eye opener. The people u really deserve are the ones that are there when you are in crises. Available for you physically,emotionally n surportive.

most women who are flashy are like cancers. Job in the Bible can relate better. They tends to be angels n caring when things are fine but demons n psychopath when things go wrong.

uncle my advise for you tho am not married but am a high chief bachelor so u can decide wat to make of my advice. Women tends to get power when you beg them in such situation they see u as a weakling 1.dnt beg her just explain things to her. 2. pray to God for direction n restoration 3. work on your emotions n see her as non existing.4. still keep giving the little u have for your children. 5. if you are a christain and you belong to a church try see your pastor n seek counsel n help.

las las if God willing your wife will come back to her senses n know her role in the marriage is to be a help meet n not a liability. she will step up her game and be responsible too but if otherwise bro you know what to do and if you dnt know lemme help u with the golden rule . YOURSELF FIRST. shalom !!!

Millenniumlady:
How on earth she allow you play her up to this level is what i don't understand well i'm glad she's starting to think like a real lady and i think the best thing for her right now is to divorce you and move on cause no woman deserve to be in this terrible situation.....hope she finds love again from a REAL MAN

Words by an idiot, was she handicap when she said i do? What stop her from learning skills when the going was Rossy, my Dad knew that his wealth won't sustain him, he make sure that he sponsored my Mum through school and when he was broke.... Mumsi was doing well in education sector and taking care of the family without anyone knowing apart from immediate family.
You such a millennium Myopic Feminist and it's your type that was sent by Lucifer to wreck homes. Sycophant!!

This is what you get when you go all out that you want a girl by any means(mistake that most guys make) without checking how much she is really into you too.....pleasing a girl with material things only makes sense to her when she is receiving it from a man and not a baby man, you think you can win a girls hearth with love and care ,sure it matters too but withouth being a man then you are raising a structure on a weak foundation....she will get bored and gets tired.............1st strive to be a man ,ckeck the aura you radiate around your wife ,make sure is that of a full man ,you need to oprate on a higher sense of doing things, dont just be a pleaser husband........To act like a man and to act like a woman is two different things in this world,most guys run away from women who acts like men but gets suprised when a girl drop them for picking the role of women , acting like a man does not mean oppressing your woman, just make her have this sense of being with something that is so freindly yet so supirior to her ,something that is stronger ,wiser ,harder all working in her own favour and not against her , it may take you time but you need to build this , ........i am sure you married a good woman that is why you are still contemplating if she is cheating even at this stage.....any man that counts how nice he was to his woman when explaning the problems from the relationship is still a baby man , work on your self ,work out ,build some muscle that will help radiate your testostone level , it cost less for a man to matain his woman but it cost more for a baby man to matain his woman.


Pleas dont mind some grammatical errors

southniyikaye:
I overlooked them cos I saw her loyalty, she doesn't cheat, she is a good cook and she never denied me the do anytime I feel like.
So I believed I can manage those other things. And sincerely for eight years I was able to control them

Okay I just read yiur story. Mr Man it's best for you to work smart and make things better for your family. Imagine d shame of moving back to her mother's place with kids and you there yarning dust? Women need concrete evidence and not talk. Remember the Bible said a man who cannot care for his family is worse than an infidel. Hope when things get better you'll see reasons to allow her earn money and not solely depend on you. Empower your wife! Don't make her helpless and stranded with ur kids when you no more. P.s It's hard to see a cheerful person in such condition o. So Nwannem je chuba ego

Go to God in prayers, maybe she too is really fed up with life or she is not happy. Go and see her one on one.

Why do I keep having the feeling that this thing will eventually happen to my cousin, anytime d fool starts dating he takes d responsibility of the girls father by spending like a fool even though d girl is really not into her.

Guys have to understand that there's definitely a thick line between love m money,money is important but it must b balanced with love.from your write up she wasn't really into u right from d onset cos d way she views things differ from d way u view them but it's like u were trying to tie her down with love money n other shits so when d jazi jazier she's planning to Kawai.

Now u have to live with the consequences of your actions because she's your wife n not your girlfriend n if u try divorce what happens to your kids?

A bad foundation is leading u to shits now,I pity u bro....

She was arrogant, stubborn and disrespectful but I was able to keep those attitudes in check.


She has since stopped replying my messages and chatting me
And I always see her online
[/quote]....Go thank your God she was the one that left on her own. Use this opportunity to work harder without distractions.Stsy focused and Hustle the more.Not for her,but for your kids.Dont go beg her Because if you do and she comes back,things will get worst.Make sure you go to see your kids atleast twice a week and act as if she is nothing to you.Be strong bro Don't go and kill your self for any woman.

You're trying as much as possible to show the world that you are stupid and brainless but nobody is paying attention cos we have enough lunatics in the world already.

Millenniumlady:
How on earth she allow you play her up to this level is what i don't understand well i'm glad she's starting to think like a real lady and i think the best thing for her right now is to divorce you and move on cause no woman deserve to be in this terrible situation.....hope she finds love again from a REAL MAN

Chai. People make una pray so that you wouldn't end up with a bad spouse. But Op you know say without money in marriage problems must come. It only takes a real G to keep a woman in check without cash. So be a real G.

my brother from the day she went back to her parents house was the day you lost your Honour as her Husband. I think her attitudes towards you is a sign for you as a Man to work hard to regain your lost Honour...whether you live or die in the process of achieving it doesn't matter...atleast you left a legacy for your children to follow...That is my Father,he died just to make us live a better life.

If you give more to strangers than yourself, it means you don't like yourself and therefore feel you don't deserve nice things.

If you don't love yourself, how can someone else love you for you. They would love you for what you have.

Bros, this life is too sweet ooo. Better pick up yourself and focus on you instead of seeking validation from your partner. If you do your best and e no work out, you can marry again.

Life goes on.