I saw this on facebook and decided to share...
I used to interpret the saying "Marriage is not for small boys" to mean small boys in terms of age, until I visited a female mentor that has been in marriage for 47 years.

I asked, so what is the secret of your over 47 years in marriage?
Beaming, she retorted; My son, the expectations you bring into marriage will either spell its doom or success. I married my husband without expectations of enjoying his money or buying cars for me, but with time, my patience, hard work and God-fearing attitude yielded results of getting cars, houses, taking care of our children and all that.

You see, if a married lady keeps on nagging in the house, she pushes the spirit of her husband from the home. If you make the man unhappy, you make the house uncomfortable.

So, I married without high expectations from my husband but simply to make him happy always.

Yes, for the past 47 years, I would be the first to get up from bed and the last to go back to bed. I bath the kids, do devotions with them, prepare breakfast for my husband and boil hot water for him to bath. I iron his clothes he would take to work, kiss him and wish him the best in his daily endeavours.

I asked my old woman, so then what does the man do in return? She laughed all heart and hearty and replied; You see, this is the mistake you young ones make in marriage.
YOU DO SOMETHING FOR YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE AND EXPECT SAME REWARD FROM HIM OR HER, THIS IS WRONG!

When it becomes your attitude to only please your husband or wife always, the other person responds naturally. Indeed, if nothing touches the palm tree, it doesn't rattle.

She continued, my son, never carry "how rich or poor your family is" into marriage. After all, you knew very well the status of your family and decided to marry that man or woman.

Love only compels/leads would-be couples into marriage but it doesn't sustain marriage. Rather, understanding, patience, communication and most importantly, forgiveness sustain every marriage. High expectations are the symptoms of divorce in marriages.

Sometimes you hear, I want to marry a mother, a business partner, God fearing person etc. You cannot get all your expectations in one person. With time and depending on your relationship, you may get some. So minimise your expectations in marriage.

To cut the long story short, as too many cooks spoil the broth, she concluded on the mistakes a couple should resist at all cost in marriage:

1) Never say you have made your wife or husband somebody from a nobody. It hurts. God only used you as an agent for transformation, give the glory to God.

2) Let the man be head of the home no matter the financial, economic, physical and emotional health situation prevailing in the couple's life whilst the woman exercises diligence in the use of the tongue.

3) Having children should not be the ultimate objective in marriage. They are given to enhance your marriage. When God delays in giving you a child, have every reason to live a happy marital life.

4) Sex is a major morale booster after a hard day's stressful life. Try to be sexual beings and not "Angels" in that marriage

5) Resort to God often and less to men to solve your marital disputes.

6) Let the women " Make up" their characters much more than they make up their body.

Indeed, marriage is not for small boys because small boys struggle to forgive, demand everything speedily, lack the patience to wait, have so many friends etc.

Make every effort to let that marriage work and may God help us.

Kindly Share to Bless Others

Written by @Isaac Owolabi #IsaacoMedia

Nice reading!!!

That's right!!!

It will be very difficult for us to meet this standard in marriage these days, as feminism and equal right advocates have taken over everything.....



God will see us through....

great and insightful.

I know majority of ladies on nairaland will disagree with her.

Marriage is a work for the two
The cross of marriage is easy to bear when both hands are lifting it up and not when only one is carrying it alone,the other is watching or one is lifting up,the other is bringing it down
The husband and wife should play their roles selflessly and without compromise,both should should work for their marriage aiming at peace,love and a general happy life
One should not should be non-challant about the things affecting his/her marriage and leave all the work to the spouse
Two shall come together and become ☝️,working together to please God and each other makes marriage healthy.
May God help us(hmmmmm! I Neva marry sef! Make God help me to make the right decision)

That's why I frown at some baby attitude I see sometimes on nairaland. No wonder marriages are breaking badly. Adults with baby brains.

Marriage is supposed to be a selfless institution but where one party is not, the ripple effect will be terrible.

God, please help me be a good man. Help me marry a selfless wife. Amen!

[s]

dawnomike:
I saw this on facebook and decided to share...
I used to interpret the saying "Marriage is not for small boys" to mean small boys in terms of age, until I visited a female mentor that has been in marriage for 47 years.

I asked, so what is the secret of your over 47 years in marriage?
Beaming, she retorted; My son, the expectations you bring into marriage will either spell its doom or success. I married my husband without expectations of enjoying his money or buying cars for me, but with time, my patience, hard work and God-fearing attitude yielded results of getting cars, houses, taking care of our children and all that.

You see, if a married lady keeps on nagging in the house, she pushes the spirit of her husband from the home. If you make the man unhappy, you make the house uncomfortable.

So, I married without high expectations from my husband but simply to make him happy always.

Yes, for the past 47 years, I would be the first to get up from bed and the last to go back to bed. I bath the kids, do devotions with them, prepare breakfast for my husband and boil hot water for him to bath. I iron his clothes he would take to work, kiss him and wish him the best in his daily endeavours.

I asked my old woman, so then what does the man do in return? She laughed all heart and hearty and replied; You see, this is the mistake you young ones make in marriage.
YOU DO SOMETHING FOR YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE AND EXPECT SAME REWARD FROM HIM OR HER, THIS IS WRONG!

When it becomes your attitude to only please your husband or wife always, the other person responds naturally. Indeed, if nothing touches the palm tree, it doesn't rattle.

She continued, my son, never carry "how rich or poor your family is" into marriage. After all, you knew very well the status of your family and decided to marry that man or woman.

Love only compels/leads would-be couples into marriage but it doesn't sustain marriage. Rather, understanding, patience, communication and most importantly, forgiveness sustain every marriage. High expectations are the symptoms of divorce in marriages.

Sometimes you hear, I want to marry a mother, a business partner, God fearing person etc. You cannot get all your expectations in one person. With time and depending on your relationship, you may get some. So minimise your expectations in marriage.

To cut the long story short, as too many cooks spoil the broth, she concluded on the mistakes a couple should resist at all cost in marriage:

1) Never say you have made your wife or husband somebody from a nobody. It hurts. God only used you as an agent for transformation, give the glory to God.

2) Let the man be head of the home no matter the financial, economic, physical and emotional health situation prevailing in the couple's life whilst the woman exercises diligence in the use of the tongue.

3) Having children should not be the ultimate objective in marriage. They are given to enhance your marriage. When God delays in giving you a child, have every reason to live a happy marital life.

4) Sex is a major morale booster after a hard day's stressful life. Try to be sexual beings and not "Angels" in that marriage

5) Resort to God often and less to men to solve your marital disputes.

6) Let the women " Make up" their characters much more than they make up their body.

Indeed, marriage is not for small boys because small boys struggle to forgive, demand everything speedily, lack the patience to wait, have so many friends etc.

Make every effort to let that marriage work and may God help us.

Kindly Share to Bless Others

Written by @Isaac Owolabi #IsaacoMedia

Nice reading!!!

[/s] Define 'small boys'.

tell dem. all those small small boys dat feels dey er grown

The woman's thought on her "less expectation" on her successful marriage of 47years is a carnal microscopic view of measurement.


Read her response when asked what's her husband's contribution, and attributed the success to her less expection. DOES SHE THINK HER WORKS EARNED IT?


Less expectation, though crucial, but is not a direct key to man's heart and has no potency to make a faithful in return. Despite her less expection, her husband also contributed to the marital breakthrough as a good man.


In other word, the man is a gift of God to her. She should recognise this first because many women with her qualities are knocked out of their marriages with violent and heartless men, she should count herself blessed... Her husband is a perfect gift from God to her, and her qualities are also gifted by God to support her good husband.

ALL I SEE IN THIS STORY IS GOD because less expection doesn't stop a man from adultery or abuse or rape or domestic violence or having a child out of wedlock etc. BROTHER, NA GOD

dawnomike:
I saw this on facebook and decided to share...
I used to interpret the saying "Marriage is not for small boys" to mean small boys in terms of age, until I visited a female mentor that has been in marriage for 47 years.

I asked, so what is the secret of your over 47 years in marriage?
Beaming, she retorted; My son, the expectations you bring into marriage will either spell its doom or success. I married my husband without expectations of enjoying his money or buying cars for me, but with time, my patience, hard work and God-fearing attitude yielded results of getting cars, houses, taking care of our children and all that.

You see, if a married lady keeps on nagging in the house, she pushes the spirit of her husband from the home. If you make the man unhappy, you make the house uncomfortable.

So, I married without high expectations from my husband but simply to make him happy always.

Yes, for the past 47 years, I would be the first to get up from bed and the last to go back to bed. I bath the kids, do devotions with them, prepare breakfast for my husband and boil hot water for him to bath. I iron his clothes he would take to work, kiss him and wish him the best in his daily endeavours.

I asked my old woman, so then what does the man do in return? She laughed all heart and hearty and replied; You see, this is the mistake you young ones make in marriage.
YOU DO SOMETHING FOR YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE AND EXPECT SAME REWARD FROM HIM OR HER, THIS IS WRONG!

When it becomes your attitude to only please your husband or wife always, the other person responds naturally. Indeed, if nothing touches the palm tree, it doesn't rattle.

She continued, my son, never carry "how rich or poor your family is" into marriage. After all, you knew very well the status of your family and decided to marry that man or woman.

Love only compels/leads would-be couples into marriage but it doesn't sustain marriage. Rather, understanding, patience, communication and most importantly, forgiveness sustain every marriage. High expectations are the symptoms of divorce in marriages.

Sometimes you hear, I want to marry a mother, a business partner, God fearing person etc. You cannot get all your expectations in one person. With time and depending on your relationship, you may get some. So minimise your expectations in marriage.

To cut the long story short, as too many cooks spoil the broth, she concluded on the mistakes a couple should resist at all cost in marriage:

1) Never say you have made your wife or husband somebody from a nobody. It hurts. God only used you as an agent for transformation, give the glory to God.

2) Let the man be head of the home no matter the financial, economic, physical and emotional health situation prevailing in the couple's life whilst the woman exercises diligence in the use of the tongue.

3) Having children should not be the ultimate objective in marriage. They are given to enhance your marriage. When God delays in giving you a child, have every reason to live a happy marital life.

4) Sex is a major morale booster after a hard day's stressful life. Try to be sexual beings and not "Angels" in that marriage

5) Resort to God often and less to men to solve your marital disputes.

6) Let the women " Make up" their characters much more than they make up their body.

Indeed, marriage is not for small boys because small boys struggle to forgive, demand everything speedily, lack the patience to wait, have so many friends etc.

Make every effort to let that marriage work and may God help us.

Kindly Share to Bless Others

Written by @Isaac Owolabi #IsaacoMedia

Nice reading!!!

The OP and topic does not correlate.

Wolgrace:
The woman's thought on her "less expectation" on her successful marriage of 47years is a carnal microscopic view of measurement.


Read her response when asked what's her husband's contribution, and attributed the success to her less expection. DOES SHE THINK HER WORKS EARNED IT?


Less expectation, though crucial, but is not a direct key to man's heart and has no potency to make a faithful in return. Despite her less expection, her husband also contributed to the marital breakthrough as a good man.


In other word, the man is a gift of God to her. She should recognise this first because many women with her qualities are knocked out of their marriages with violent and heartless men, she should count herself blessed... Her husband is a perfect gift from God to her, and her qualities are also gifted by God to support her good husband.

ALL I SEE IN THIS STORY IS GOD because less expection doesn't stop a man from adultery or abuse or rape or domestic violence or having a child out of wedlock etc. BROTHER, NA GOD

Iwe lomo.

Interpret for us that went to Night school.

bukatyne2:


Iwe lomo.

Interpret for us that went to Night school.

Funny you... Iwe bawo? We're all learning here. I drew the line out of God's counsel, i.e a man that finds a wife obtains favour from Him. So, is the woman that finds a husband. Although, my write ups already expantiated what the line is.

Wife and woman are totally different, same is husband and man. Good wife and good husband as gifted by God have specific qualities and roles to maintain the blessed gift of God. Therefore, she obtained her good husband as a favour from God. Attributing the 47years success to her less expectation qualities is a fatal error.


She should have married a thug or tout or violent beast to know if her qualities would bring success and joy in her marriage.

Oluwa is involved!

bukatyne2:


The OP and topic does not correlate.

Me i don't understand ooo

Wolgrace:



Funny you... Iwe bawo? We're all learning here. I drew the line out of God's counsel, i.e a man that finds a wife obtains favour from Him. So, is the woman that finds a husband. Although, my write ups already expantiated what the line is.

Wife and woman are totally different, same is husband and man. Good wife and good husband as gifted by God have specific qualities and roles to maintain the blessed gift of God. Therefore, she obtained her good husband as a favour from God. Attributing the 47years success to her less expectation qualities is a fatal error.


She should have married a thug or tout or violent beast to know if her qualities would bring success and joy in her marriage.

Oluwa is involved!

100% true. My mom was really favored by God. But she did her part too.

dawnomike:
Me i don't understand ooo

Happy birthday.

First post after one week ban.

Wolgrace:



Funny you... Iwe bawo? We're all learning here. I drew the line out of God's counsel, i.e a man that finds a wife obtains favour from Him. So, is the woman that finds a husband. Although, my write ups already expantiated what the line is.

Wife and woman are totally different, same is husband and man. Good wife and good husband as gifted by God have specific qualities and roles to maintain the blessed gift of God. Therefore, she obtained her good husband as a favour from God. Attributing the 47years success to her less expectation qualities is a fatal error.


She should have married a thug or tout or violent beast to know if her qualities would bring success and joy in her marriage.

Oluwa is involved!

True.

Some people did all they could and yet, it did not work out.

bukatyne:


Happy birthday.

First post after one week ban.

Thanks so much... I really appreciate yours bday greetings

Thank you so much for this piece I really learnt a lot!

Nooil:


100% true. My mom was really favored by God. But she did her part too.

That's the perfect order. God first before works, so God favoured her with a gift and her gifted qualities by God was enacted to maintain and sustain the favour. Reason, Church and marriage are very identical...


Count yourself most blessed from coming out of that home and family. Follow her footstep in an organised and modernised way.


-Are you favoured too?

bukatyne:


True.

Some people did all they could and yet, it did not work out.

Because they think its by strength or intellect or quality scale etc. God is not involved.

Wolgrace:



That's the perfect order. God first before works, so God favoured her with a gift and her gifted qualities by God was enacted to maintain and sustain the favour. Reason, Church and marriage are very identical...


Count yourself most blessed from coming out of that home and family. Follow her footstep in an organised and modernised way.


-Are you favoured too?

I definitely am

Nooil:


I definitely am

Wow! Happy married life.

Wolgrace:




Wow! Happy married life.

In advance... Thank you

Nooil:


In advance... Thank you

Haha. Don't reject it, just say amen thank you. Happy married life once again

Wolgrace:



Funny you... Iwe bawo? We're all learning here. I drew the line out of God's counsel, i.e a man that finds a wife obtains favour from Him. So, is the woman that finds a husband. Although, my write ups already expantiated what the line is.

Wife and woman are totally different, same is husband and man. Good wife and good husband as gifted by God have specific qualities and roles to maintain the blessed gift of God. Therefore, she obtained her good husband as a favour from God. Attributing the 47years success to her less expectation qualities is a fatal error.


She should have married a thug or tout or violent beast to know if her qualities would bring success and joy in her marriage.

Oluwa is involved!

If we are to adopt "Wolgracian logic," those who have bad husbands are inexorably serving punishment from God since, according to you, God gives good husbands. The way we carelessly simplify relationship as if it is arithmetic is confounding. Good people marry bad people, bad people marry good people. It has nothing to do with God. This is just humanity's craving to understand and impose our explanation on the accidents or choas that nature unleashes on humanity.

mrblessed:
If we are to adopt "Wolgracian logic," those who have bad husbands are inexorably serving punishment from God since, according to you, God gives good husbands. The way we carelessly simplify relationship as if it is arithmetic is confounding. Good people marry bad people, bad people marry good people. It has nothing to do with God. This is just humanity's craving to understand and impose our explanation on the accidents or choas that nature unleashes on humanity.

Wrong method of objection....! Read the thread once more. One note, are you an atheist?

Wolgrace:



Haha. Don't reject it, just say amen thank you. Happy married life once again

Amen, thank you

This is 2020 not 1962

ednut1:
This is 2020 not 1962

What happened in 1962 ?

Nooil:

Amen, thank you

I await your IV. Thank you ma

Stacyomolola:

What happened in 1962 ?

we cannot use the marriage of her time in the 1960s to judge todays own