₦airaland Forum

merahki:
@ OP? I personally would be upset if my partner rejected my food, but that’s just me. Considering how much I hate cooking it would be a double blow to me. Then withholding sexx would be another bummer.
However, usually, I am so persistent like a bug that if caught in this situation I would eventually wheedle (I dunno if this right ) him into eating the food and or having sexx with me. It is impossible to stay mad at me shaa, I think, even though I can be very, very exasperating.

I dunno if I have addressed it
Maybe it becomes all different in marriage- changes to war and mind games. In that case I know nothing about it

xendra:
lmao, so a man disagreeing with your post makes him "not a king"
when the man is not a baby? what happens to communicating your feelings? if you want to starve yourself because you are angry, na sense you no get there's no dignity in it.

Sehindemi:
If a man can be so childish and petty to reject my food because of an issue of yesterday or yesteryear then he should be ready to die of starvation.
My DH isn't this foolish or childish, he is a man. No need waiting to be served food before you bring up your perceived unruly disposition, so if he was staying in another country, he would wait till he returns to the country and to be served food to express his dissatisfaction about things.
Stop this travesty of a narrative and man up to communicate your feelings or be ready to die of starvation like Dog Major.

walcruise:
The fact that I refused your food doesn't mean I wouldn't eat else where

crackkhaus:
You mean Major starved himself to death because he had no dīck to fvck his momma?
https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/agape.gif

xendra:
Good for you. I could careless about encouraging a man's childish behaviours.

SweetCunt97:
Hmmmmm, lemme not even comment before they call me man hater or feminist... Intelligent post though.

rain21:
Kikikikiki..
This is very funny, you likened a dog to a man...., like a MAN!

xendra:
and they are all agreeing

crackkhaus:
@wjxavier, as much as there are valid points to be seen in your post, not failing to mention your beautiful introductory story about Major, I have to tell you that you still got one thing backwards.

Damn I still can't get over Major's suicide

Anyway, so hear goes...
There's something my mother told me, yes my mother, and I was just a teenager when she did. There are basically two things which a woman can use to manipulate/control/exercise some kind of power over a man - these are food and sex.
The moment a woman, your woman, your wife, discovers that you're not overly dependent on the pleasures her vagîna or cooking can provide for you, she has lost almost all the power she can use to hold you ransom. The only remaining source of her power becomes the children, but that's another story entirely.

You're absolutely on point when you state that an apology has to be made with words, not with sex and certainly not with food.
Now this is how the little wisdom from my momma ties into it: A woman who is already aware that her food or her sex does nothing extraordinary for you, will also know for a fact that she is wasting her time using them as a substitute for apology. She will definitely need to apologize with words even if she fights her nature to do it.

It all starts from the very beginning of a relationship. A man is supposed to lay down, whether overtly or covertly, his principles and exactly how conflict should be handled. It should preferably be overtly by simply telling his wife that an apology with words is the only way he can move on. He must let her know that he will never sweep things under the carpet like she does and she must understand this.

Not eating her food or not having sex, while advisable, is not really a definite solution. Yes you can decide to cook your own meals or eat out as a form of protest, but for how long? It's better that if you're even going to do this, you should inform her that you DEMAND an apology for the wrong she has done.
It is foolhardy to just give a woman the attitude without actually telling her what she can do to end it.

The overall point is to always let your wife know that you demand an apology from her, this is the best course of action. Even if you're going to refuse her food and her vagîna, it should go along with you demanding an apology and communicating your displeasure.


My hand is paining me...and Major's suicide has really messed up my morning.
I need to have a conversation with my good friend Jack Daniels.

crackkhaus:
@wjxavier, as much as there are valid points to be seen in your post, not failing to mention your beautiful introductory story about Major, I have to tell you that you still got one thing backwards.

Damn I still can't get over Major's suicide

Anyway, so hear goes...
There's something my mother told me, yes my mother, and I was just a teenager when she did. There are basically two things which a woman can use to manipulate/control/exercise some kind of power over a man - these are food and sex.
The moment a woman, your woman, your wife, discovers that you're not overly dependent on the pleasures her vagîna or cooking can provide for you, she has lost almost all the power she can use to hold you ransom. The only remaining source of her power becomes the children, but that's another story entirely.

You're absolutely on point when you state that an apology has to be made with words, not with sex and certainly not with food.
Now this is how the little wisdom from my momma ties into it: A woman who is already aware that her food or her sex does nothing extraordinary for you, will also know for a fact that she is wasting her time using them as a substitute for apology. She will definitely need to apologize with words even if she fights her nature to do it.

It all starts from the very beginning of a relationship. A man is supposed to lay down, whether overtly or covertly, his principles and exactly how conflict should be handled. It should preferably be overtly by simply telling his wife that an apology with words is the only way he can move on. He must let her know that he will never sweep things under the carpet like she does and she must understand this.

Not eating her food or not having sex, while advisable, is not really a definite solution. Yes you can decide to cook your own meals or eat out as a form of protest, but for how long? It's better that if you're even going to do this, you should inform her that you DEMAND an apology for the wrong she has done.
It is foolhardy to just give a woman the attitude without actually telling her what she can do to end it.

The overall point is to always let your wife know that you demand an apology from her, this is the best course of action. Even if you're going to refuse her food and her vagîna, it should go along with you demanding an apology and communicating your displeasure.


My hand is paining me...and Major's suicide has really messed up my morning.
I need to have a conversation with my good friend Jack Daniels.

wjxavier:
Damn I love you. Only you got hit by the dog part. Thanks dude. I love dogs too.

How’s mum?

Unfortunately, mum May be slightly inaccurate on this bro.

Food and sex may attract a man. But it is RESPECT that makes a keeper any day.

There are 4 things actually.

4

Attention
Food
Sex
Respect

So you see, you can still have your man without food or sex. Otherwise our born again sisters no go dey see husband marry.

As for me, I can’t eat the food of a woman who does not honor me. Or who is dragging “steering wheel” with me.

Especially WHEN they try to switch it as if nothing happened.

Go in peace. That’s my way.

There have to be consequences for actions. Or they will continue.


I can’t depend on a woman’s vagina. What if she dies?

I don’t think that’s the strongest hold a woman has in relationship.

@crackkhaus

wjxavier:
From the few men I have met, getting an apology from her is harder than sex during period.

Are you married?

Maybe you should. Hahaha

Join me with this lockdown special formula.

wjxavier:
Starve self how? How do you think around a dot like this

Can he not cook?

Are there no restaurants?

I mean, that’s so obvious, it’s shocking you didn’t think of it.

What else might you be missing in trying to talk smart?

Egungun be careful oooo

24kmagic:
I already told myself that that's what I'm going to do in any relationship or marriage I find myself. I don't have strength to talk or shout. I'm a cool headed unforgiving spirit guy.

Not only will I reject your food, I will also leave the house for you. I will just ignore you completely.

Women will do something to you sometimes and you'll just feel like battering her. Thank goodness I don't have that violent spirit. What I have is an "ignoring spirit."

I swear I no go even do like say you de exist.
I think keeping malice is something I'm somehow good at. It's not like I like it tho.

Richy4:
You know, It's really easy to say that a sensible man will attack the food ...But when a man was in that "deep heated fellowship" with his spouse, and he got that lady/wife that runs her mouth 120km per min,... u know the type that talks without swallowing saliva ,U won't remember any thing sensible.. The only sensible thing most remembers was to leave the house and cool off somewhere outside the house ... because if u remain there, u might damage something.. and u can't damage what u love.

When the man is calm and back, eating the food presented will depend on the level of his displeasure.Especially when there was no closure yet .... Dignity and respect can never be bought in a convenient store... lots of us has learn how to fix something for ourselves in the kitchen, some goes to the restaurant and eat, few who love homemade food that can't stand restaurant meal and can't cook has learn to chew toothpick but just to make it look like they have had something just to upset the mrs.

There's nothing childish about not wanting to eat... It is a choice...If ladies sees that as being childish, It's like beating up a child and still preventing him/ her from crying...U upsets someone, instead of a proper apology, u said honey dinner is ready, or in some cases they send the kids to go and tell their father that dinner is ready... No now... You have to follow due process A man should treat his wife nicely and a woman should not forget to do the same.. apologize when necessary.

ImaIma1:
And how does that even help the marriage. It doesn't even bother women like it used to. Some women, like my friend, will just leave bread on the fridge for you and not bother herself cooking till you recover. Her husband has learned to talk, seeing that not eating her food even makes her happy not to stress herself in the kitchen.

Malice is childish, and refusing to eat or coming home is pointless and foolish. Imagine refusing to eat the food you pay for or staying in the house where you pay rent while the person you are trying to pepper is eating the food and lying comfortably in the house. Chai!

Takotsubo:
I think it's important to know your spouse 100% before acting this film out.


Don't eat? Fine.I only offer once if it's me doing the cooking on the day.If you say no on day one,I will not offer again. I'm not bothered by eating in restaurants,please buy extra for me.

Silent treatment? I grew up with this one so if you refuse to talk,I keep quiet as well as long as it takes till you're ready to undo what you've started.

Say no to sex? Lots of toys to use.
Some of us are not moved by threats of chick outside either.


My father did everything written here..

He would refuse to eat and my mum would run round,cajoling ,then in turn she would become miserable.

He also was skilled at giving the silent treatment..

There's no form of manipulation I didn't witness so essentially,I've seen it all .

In the beginning of marriage, I could actually go on to the point where it was detrimental to me just to put make a point.

My husband realised this quickly when he tried not eating and silent treatment and I responded in kind,unbothered.

2,3 trials with same result then both of us realised it was pointless.

We stopped it in the same first year of marriage when my husband sat us down and discussed the aim of our marriage..we agreed we love each other and noted that our pattern of behaviour was childish and destructive.

Years and years later ,this holds true.No arguing or shouting .

Isn't an argument mostly about 2 people seeing things differently?

You can appreciate another person's point of view,you don't have to agree with it and you can pass this information across without resorting to bad behaviour.


Once voices start to raise,one person usually says : Hey,you are starting to shout and I'm sorry I cannot listen to it and I'll come back.later when we can talk better.

Apologising to each other isn't that hard..Both can say sorry and move on.

What's the point in all the emotional manipulation?

Life is already complicated as is,it's pointless to punish each other for no just cause.

Being married in itself can be incredibly difficult to navigate for even the best behaved and loving couple,problems could spring up even with the best intentioned ones..

Battle of wills doesn't go well if you do not know the length your spouse is willing to go.

24kmagic:
Lol
I don't think I'll have any problem with that, as long as I'm away from her.
When the food is finished, she'll restock.

Takotsubo:
I think it's important to know your spouse 100% before acting this film out.


Don't eat? Fine.I only offer once if it's me doing the cooking on the day.If you say no on day one,I will not offer again. I'm not bothered by eating in restaurants,please buy extra for me.

Silent treatment? I grew up with this one so if you refuse to talk,I keep quiet as well as long as it takes till you're ready to undo what you've started.

Say no to sex? Lots of toys to use.
Some of us are not moved by threats of chick outside either.


My father did everything written here..

He would refuse to eat and my mum would run round,cajoling ,then in turn she would become miserable.

He also was skilled at giving the silent treatment..

There's no form of manipulation I didn't witness so essentially,I've seen it all .

In the beginning of marriage, I could actually go on to the point where it was detrimental to me just to put make a point.

My husband realised this quickly when he tried not eating and silent treatment and I responded in kind,unbothered.

2,3 trials with same result then both of us realised it was pointless.

We stopped it in the same first year of marriage when my husband sat us down and discussed the aim of our marriage..we agreed we love each other and noted that our pattern of behaviour was childish and destructive.

Years and years later ,this holds true.No arguing or shouting .

Isn't an argument mostly about 2 people seeing things differently?

You can appreciate another person's point of view,you don't have to agree with it and you can pass this information across without resorting to bad behaviour.


Once voices start to raise,one person usually says : Hey,you are starting to shout and I'm sorry I cannot listen to it and I'll come back.later when we can talk better.

Apologising to each other isn't that hard..Both can say sorry and move on.

What's the point in all the emotional manipulation?

Life is already complicated as is,it's pointless to punish each other for no just cause.

Being married in itself can be incredibly difficult to navigate for even the best behaved and loving couple,problems could spring up even with the best intentioned ones..

Battle of wills doesn't go well if you do not know the length your spouse is willing to go.

ImaIma1:
What if the wife is not moved by the man refusing to eat but rather glad not to stress in the kitchen? Probably one that doesn't really enjoy cooking.

What if he has the type of wife that goes to bed and snores away and not worry herself if he comes home or not?

And also the type that would take refusing to have sex as a break?

There are women like this that won't let things bother them and wait for whenever the husband is ready to communicate his feelings properly.

How will such a man cope when he sees that his tantrums and being ignored?

rain21:
Kikikikiki..
This is very funny, you likened a dog to a man...., like a MAN!

ImaIma1:
And what good would that do you and the marriage?

Everytime you feel hurt, you refuse food and stay away and continue the cycle till you are old?

What happened to talking?

ImaIma1:
24kmagic
wjxavier

Look at how mature people deal with issues and make their marriage work.

All those mind games and struggle for power is plain silly.

Takotsubo:
You can appreciate another person's point of view,you don't have to agree with it and you can pass this information across without resorting to bad behaviour.

Apologising to each other isn't that hard..Both can say sorry and move on.

Life is already complicated as is,it's pointless to punish each other for no just cause.

Being married in itself can be incredibly difficult to navigate for even the best behaved and loving couple,problems could spring up even with the best intentioned ones..

24kmagic:
I already told myself that that's what I'm going to do in any relationship or marriage I find myself. I don't have strength to talk or shout. I'm a cool headed unforgiving spirit guy.

Not only will I reject your food, I will also leave the house for you. I will just ignore you completely.

Women will do something to you sometimes and you'll just feel like battering her. Thank goodness I don't have that violent spirit. What I have is an "ignoring spirit."

I swear I no go even do like say you de exist.
I think keeping malice is something I'm somehow good at. It's not like I like it tho.

24kmagic:
I already told myself that that's what I'm going to do in any relationship or marriage I find myself. I don't have strength to talk or shout. I'm a cool headed unforgiving spirit guy.

Not only will I reject your food, I will also leave the house for you. I will just ignore you completely.

Women will do something to you sometimes and you'll just feel like battering her. Thank goodness I don't have that violent spirit. What I have is an "ignoring spirit."

I swear I no go even do like say you de exist.
I think keeping malice is something I'm somehow good at. It's not like I like it tho.

crackkhaus:
It's funny how you quoted her post twice but failed to see the sentence about how an apology is very necessary and should not be that hard so couples can move on.

She was actually the only female here that had enough sense to state that an apology is very necessary for all parties involved i.e dealing with the root problem instead of just the reaction to the problem.

But perhaps you can humour me with an answer to the question below... maybe by some miracle, you won't go on an emotional tirade for being called out...

So in your own opinion, is a wife acting MATURE for refusing to apologize, or does your sermon about MATURITY only take effect when a frustrated husband decides to emotionally manipulate his wife into getting the apology he deserves?

24kmagic:
What happened to her learning how not to hurt me? Cos I know that most of the issues we'll have will come from her

ImaIma1:
But you didn't notice where she said if he decides to use the silent treatment, she'd ignore.

Apologising isn't the issue when they wife knows she has wronged. But when the guy decides to go silent instead of talking issues out, that's where there is a problem.