My family has always raised dogs since I was a kid, we've raised hundreds of dogs, sometimes we've had up to 15-17 dogs in our home.

Sometimes in the 90's, I remember we had this beautiful dog, happy dog, cross breed Alsatian. Something like that and everybody loved it and it was so playful, so friendly, we loved it. The color was so beautiful and because of that, we all loved it.

We used to castrate our dogs, but on this one, somehow we all forgot. So one day, dad remembered that ''oh! Oh! Oh! This dog is 6-months old, if we don't castrate it, it's gonna start going out and get killed looking for bitches' to bang”.


Now, My dad is a surgeon, so he got us together and he performed the surgery on the dog and we thought that was it.

Turns out the dog was crazy like fucking psycho or something like.... the dog went into depression.

Like...it stopped eating completely. You know, it practically, Major practically starved itself to death because he was castrated when it was already having erections and trying to-you know- sleep with his own mum.

He died because he loved his dick.

Now to my point.

There is a level of awakening in even dogs that there are certain things they will never accept, they will rather die than accept and the same things goes with humans, especially men.

You don't do certain things to your man and sweep it under the carpet.

When you have a man in your life, whether its marriage or dating or whatever you want to call it and he's offended at you for something...

Whatever you do to a man that makes him not touch your food, it's not anger its hurt. It is his pride that's been hurt and because of that he finds it impossible to touch your food especially because when a woman offends you...

One of the hardest things for an average woman to do is to apologize or to address it. They would rather just sweep it under the carpet and act like it never happened.

They disrespect you and then come and cook for you. And that's treating em like our dog, Major.

It’s like you flog your dog and then you come and feed it the next day. Your dog poops somewhere and then you're offended and you flog it, you know- you just discipline your dog and then you come and feed it after.

No, so being rude, hurting a man’s pride, disrespecting your man and then bringing him food after, expecting him to eat is like..... Is he your pet?

You know, that's the thing and that's why I want to say it's not malice. Because a woman would normally blow it up and say ''Oh yeah! You're keeping malice, you won't eat my food''. And then start creating all kinds of drama and bring people into the show and everyone asking you to eat her food.

No, that's not life.

It's not malice, it's dignity.

If he accepts that, he has enabled you to continue in that pattern.

Listen, girls. You don't apologize with sex or food to your man. You apologize with words.

And if you cannot do that, you should not even bother getting into a relationship or especially a marriage for that matter.

So that’s it, ladies.

It’s not malice. It is dignity.


For the men reading this. This is not an excuse to manipulate (and if you do, it always bites back anyway).

Some men may even disagree but I get it. Not all men are kings.

For those who were refreshed by this article, I have a 7 page report on my one page website: [url]themansociety.org[/url]

Castrating a 6 month old dog is animal cruelty

Poor Major

That aside, you made some valid points.

lmao, so a man disagreeing with your post makes him "not a king"
when the man is not a baby? what happens to communicating your feelings? if you want to starve yourself because you are angry, na sense you no get there's no dignity in it.

I’m sure she won’t worry if she sees you cooking and feeding yourself or ordering food to eat.
That way you’re fed and she doesn’t have to do it.
Not a big deal

If a man can be so childish and petty to reject my food because of an issue of yesterday or yesteryear then he should be ready to die of starvation.
My DH isn't this foolish or childish, he is a man. No need waiting to be served food before you bring up your perceived unruly disposition, so if he was staying in another country, he would wait till he returns to the country and to be served food to express his dissatisfaction about things.
Stop this travesty of a narrative and man up to communicate your feelings or be ready to die of starvation like Dog Major.

xendra:
lmao, so a man disagreeing with your post makes him "not a king"
when the man is not a baby? what happens to communicating your feelings? if you want to starve yourself because you are angry, na sense you no get there's no dignity in it.

The fact that I refused your food doesn't mean I wouldn't eat else where

You mean Major starved himself to death because he had no dīck to fvck his momma?

I like your write Up.. in my opinion it makes perfect sense

walcruise:

The fact that I refused your food doesn't mean I wouldn't eat else where

Good for you. I could careless about encouraging a man's childish behaviours.

xendra:
Good for you. I could careless about encouraging a man's my husband's childish behaviours.

There...

Hmmmmm, lemme not even comment before they call me man hater or feminist... Intelligent post though.

Kikikikiki..
This is very funny, you likened a dog to a man...., like a MAN!

crackkhaus:

There...

ahan! you are not doing well, is my husband not a man? why change it? I didn't say men, I sad "a man "
abeg change it back

rain21:
Kikikikiki.. This is very funny, you likened a dog to a man...., like a MAN!

and they are all agreeing

Nice post.

OP....you are right..
Especially in this era where feminist ideology is widespread..

@wjxavier, as much as there are valid points to be seen in your post, not failing to mention your beautiful introductory story about Major, I have to tell you that you still got one thing backwards.

Damn I still can't get over Major's suicide

Anyway, so hear goes...
There's something my mother told me, yes my mother, and I was just a teenager when she did. There are basically two things which a woman can use to manipulate/control/exercise some kind of power over a man - these are food and sex.
The moment a woman, your woman, your wife, discovers that you're not overly dependent on the pleasures her vagîna or cooking can provide for you, she has lost almost all the power she can use to hold you ransom. The only remaining source of her power becomes the children, but that's another story entirely.

You're absolutely on point when you state that an apology has to be made with words, not with sex and certainly not with food.
Now this is how the little wisdom from my momma ties into it: A woman who is already aware that her food or her sex does nothing extraordinary for you, will also know for a fact that she is wasting her time using them as a substitute for apology. She will definitely need to apologize with words even if she fights her nature to do it.

It all starts from the very beginning of a relationship. A man is supposed to lay down, whether overtly or covertly, his principles and exactly how conflict should be handled. It should preferably be overtly by simply telling his wife that an apology with words is the only way he can move on. He must let her know that he will never sweep things under the carpet like she does and she must understand this.

Not eating her food or not having sex, while advisable, is not really a definite solution. Yes you can decide to cook your own meals or eat out as a form of protest, but for how long? It's better that if you're even going to do this, you should inform her that you DEMAND an apology for the wrong she has done.
It is foolhardy to just give a woman the attitude without actually telling her what she can do to end it.

The overall point is to always let your wife know that you demand an apology from her, this is the best course of action. Even if you're going to refuse her food and her vagîna, it should go along with you demanding an apology and communicating your displeasure.


My hand is paining me...and Major's suicide has really messed up my morning.
I need to have a conversation with my good friend Jack Daniels.

xendra:
ahan! you are not doing well, is my husband not a man? why change it? I didn't say men, I sad "a man "
abeg change it back

Just type it yourself, when you type my husband, it lets people know you're serious

A sensible man will transfer his angst to the food and eat it hungrily

It's a very foolish behavior. Hw many times will you reject ur wife's food cos of anger?

You hit the nail on the head.

A spiralling lack of dignity is a plague in our community. Men and women are suffering from this problem.

Never believe that "you can't do anything without someone"; that "you have to settle"; that "you're lucky s/he is even *allowing* you to date them"; etc.

wjxavier:
My family has always raised dogs since I was a kid, we've raised hundreds of dogs, sometimes we've had up to 15-17 dogs in our home.

Sometimes in the 90's, I remember we had this beautiful dog, happy dog, cross breed Alsatian. Something like that and everybody loved it and it was so playful, so friendly, we loved it. The color was so beautiful and because of that, we all loved it.

We used to castrate our dogs, but on this one, somehow we all forgot. So one day, dad remembered that ''oh! Oh! Oh! This dog is 6-months old, if we don't castrate it, it's gonna start going out and get killed looking for bitches' to bang”.


Now, My dad is a surgeon, so he got us together and he performed the surgery on the dog and we thought that was it.

Turns out the dog was crazy like fucking psycho or something like.... the dog went into depression.

Like...it stopped eating completely. You know, it practically, Major practically starved itself to death because he was castrated when it was already having erections and trying to-you know- sleep with his own mum.

He died because he loved his dick.

Now to my point.

There is a level of awakening in even dogs that there are certain things they will never accept, they will rather die than accept and the same things goes with humans, especially men.

You don't do certain things to your man and sweep it under the carpet.

When you have a man in your life, whether its marriage or dating or whatever you want to call it and he's offended at you for something...

Whatever you do to a man that makes him not touch your food, it's not anger its hurt. It is his pride that's been hurt and because of that he finds it impossible to touch your food especially because when a woman offends you...

One of the hardest things for an average woman to do is to apologize or to address it. They would rather just sweep it under the carpet and act like it never happened.

They disrespect you and then come and cook for you. And that's treating em like our dog, Major.

It’s like you flog your dog and then you come and feed it the next day. Your dog poops somewhere and then you're offended and you flog it, you know- you just discipline your dog and then you come and feed it after.

No, so being rude, hurting a man’s pride, disrespecting your man and then bringing him food after, expecting him to eat is like..... Is he your pet?

You know, that's the thing and that's why I want to say it's not malice. Because a woman would normally blow it up and say ''Oh yeah! You're keeping malice, you won't eat my food''. And then start creating all kinds of drama and bring people into the show and everyone asking you to eat her food.

No, that's not life.

It's not malice, it's dignity.

If he accepts that, he has enabled you to continue in that pattern.

Listen, girls. You don't apologize with sex or food to your man. You apologize with words.

And if you cannot do that, you should not even bother getting into a relationship or especially a marriage for that matter.

So that’s it, ladies.

It’s not malice. It is dignity.


For the men reading this. This is not an excuse to manipulate (and if you do, it always bites back anyway).

Some men may even disagree but I get it. Not all men are kings.

For those who were refreshed by this article, I have a 7 page report on my one page website: [url]themansociety.org[/url]

@wjxavier:

Comparing a man to a dog sounds somehow to me.

That aside:

If a man does not or cannot communicate his displeasure in a mature way while requesting an apology, then he is 'malicious' for a lack of better word.

Now, I understand that different offences will require different ways to tackle. However, the offences and demand for apology must always be explicitly made.

And the husband should also ensure that he apologizes with words too as an 'example' to his wife.

Diverting:

1. An offence is what the person makes of it irrespective of our intentions.

2. I Googled 'malice' to make a point and it doesn't capture what we use it as. Anyways we all understand malice as used in this context jare.

Some dictionaries defined it as seeking to do evil, ill feelings towards someone etc.

https://www.google.com/search?q=malice&oq=mali&aqs=chrome.3.69i57j46j0l2j69i60.4788j0j7&client=ms-android-huawei-rev1&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

I am sooo disturbed and freaked out by the number of dogs you have had in your house that I can’t relate to the OP
I imagine your father operating on the dog on your dining table
I feel your house down to the next street will have a dog smell.
I am in some kind of agony, imagining this.
I and dogs are on totally different tangents, I can’t even feel sorry for Major, and the way you described its beauty didn’t do me at all

I already told myself that that's what I'm going to do in any relationship or marriage I find myself. I don't have strength to talk or shout. I'm a cool headed unforgiving spirit guy.

Not only will I reject your food, I will also leave the house for you. I will just ignore you completely.

Women will do something to you sometimes and you'll just feel like battering her. Thank goodness I don't have that violent spirit. What I have is an "ignoring spirit."

I swear I no go even do like say you de exist.
I think keeping malice is something I'm somehow good at. It's not like I like it tho.

@ OP? I personally would be upset if my partner rejected my food, but that’s just me. Considering how much I hate cooking it would be a double blow to me. Then withholding sexx would be another bummer.
However, usually, I am so persistent like a bug that if caught in this situation I would eventually wheedle (I dunno if this right ) him into eating the food and or having sexx with me. It is impossible to stay mad at me shaa, I think, even though I can be very, very exasperating.

I dunno if I have addressed it
Maybe it becomes all different in marriage- changes to war and mind games. In that case I know nothing about it

I really hope your dignity wouldn't kill you. You're even lucky to have a wife that still Carrysout her wifely duties(cooking and having sex) even after going through arguments abi na fight.
If you're not man enough to let your wife know what's up then you can go and eat your dignity.
Men do this too, it's not a woman's thing.
Communication is the key

Most Nigerian men are entitled, vindictive and have zero conflict resolution skills. Conflicts are resolved only in two ways, violence or silent treatment. I blame the women that entertain this foolishness. Why can’t a grown man communicate??

Silent treatment is often used as a form of punishment and control, the man is not interested in resolving anything but seeks to punish the woman and reaffirm his dominance. The thing is when ST is used repeatedly, it loses its intended effect. The woman becomes numb to it.

Lol at OP likening men to dogs.

LadySarah:
A sensible man will transfer his angst to the food and eat it hungrily

It's a very foolish behavior. Hw many times will you reject ur wife's food cos of anger?

You know, It's really easy to say that a sensible man will attack the food ...But when a man was in that "deep heated fellowship" with his spouse, and he got that lady/wife that runs her mouth 120km per min,... u know the type that talks without swallowing saliva ,U won't remember any thing sensible.. The only sensible thing most remembers was to leave the house and cool off somewhere outside the house ... because if u remain there, u might damage something.. and u can't damage what u love.

When the man is calm and back, eating the food presented will depend on the level of his displeasure.Especially when there was no closure yet .... Dignity and respect can never be bought in a convenient store... lots of us has learn how to fix something for ourselves in the kitchen, some goes to the restaurant and eat, few who love homemade food that can't stand restaurant meal and can't cook has learn to chew toothpick but just to make it look like they have had something just to upset the mrs.

There's nothing childish about not wanting to eat... It is a choice...If ladies sees that as being childish, It's like beating up a child and still preventing him/ her from crying...U upsets someone, instead of a proper apology, u said honey dinner is ready, or in some cases they send the kids to go and tell their father that dinner is ready... No now... You have to follow due process A man should treat his wife nicely and a woman should not forget to do the same.. apologize when necessary.

So men still do that crap of starving themselves when they feel angry?
I thought its only our grandpapa for village that use to do that nonsense.

Lol

Immaturity of the highest order.

The 21 century 9ja man is confused so is the woman. for Gods sake the woman still cooked for you and you are forming anger. But i dunno where the women of today have learned to talk to men anyhow and disrespectfully.

ednut1:
The 21 century 9ja man is confused so is the woman. for Gods sake the woman still cooked for you and you are forming anger. But i dunno where the women of today have learned to talk to men anyhow and disrespectfully. Make everyone dey one hin own is the solution and not marry

The whole idea of refusing food and sex is something that works ONLY when a man knows the kind of wife he has.

When it comes to mind games, some men can be grandmasters while some women can be immune to it. So depending on the woman, there are situations where during unresolved conflict, her food will be eaten and even sex will be enjoyed, but still, the man will find other ways to torment his wife with attitude until she becomes so confused about everything that is going on around her.

A man who knows his partner, I mean really knows her, can run swift circles around her successfully. Poking holes in the emotions & vanity of a woman who loves you is really quite easy because she will always want to have some influence over you, but a smart man will give it to her only on his own terms, e.g eat her food but NEVER sleep on the same bed with her.

The emphasis here is on love though, because no game will work on a woman who doesn't care about her husband anymore.
Men who are intuitive and aware that she doesn't care will prefer to spend more time out of the house, sleep in a separate room with the doors locked whenever they are home, and won't touch her body or eat her food which could be laced with poison.

All of the above is only in situations where a woman has refused to apologize even after grievances have been aired.

CHoccolaTE:
So men still do that crap of starving themselves when they feel angry?
I thought its only our grandpapa for village that use to do that nonsense.

Lol

Immaturity of the highest order.

Somebody should try that sh*t with me. They will just starve to death while I get fatter

Which is the point. If you could “careless”, why get married in the first place

See?

Seeeeee

xendra:
Good for you. I could careless about encouraging a man's childish behaviours.