₦airaland Forum

Paul8000:
Good evening ladies and gents...

My name is Paul, I am married to my beautiful wife Vivian by name for the past 16 years . We have 5 wonderful children together Jemima 15, Isaac 12, Elizabeth 9, Samuel 6 and Tabitha 3. We are based in Liberia. We both are working and earning well by God grace. I have few issues with my wife that brought me here to get some advice.

Anytime my wife and I had some misunderstanding, she does involve the children. The oldest 3 she tells them everything including how I cheated on her, she also feed them with lies that I am a bad man and I want to kills her. She tells them so many things to make them hate me. They will disrespect and keeping malice with me to the extend of if I send them for errands, she will stop them and tell them not to go. No matter how much I shouted at them to go, they will not obey me because their mother has the final say. For example my wife and I are having some misunderstandings for over 3 weeks now, we are not talking or sleeping in the same room. I have tried to makes things works for us but she refused.

The children are also keeping malice with me. I sent Elizabeth to go and get some water for me, she obeyed and went to the kitchen, few moments later she came back empty handed staring at me in shock. I asked her what about the water she said her mother said I should go in the kitchen to get the water myself . At that moment I just couldn’t take it anymore I exploded in anger I went to the kitchen we had a heated arguments she pour water on me I really wanted to hit her so hard but I control my anger and walked away.

I left the house for 3 days to cool down. because I was so angry with her I just wanted to be alone. I then went home after 3 days,my 3 oldest children acted like they hadn’t seen me they were busy with their phone/ tablets and it was only my 2 youngest that were missing me they both hugged me like never before me. My youngest daughter refuse to leave my room she even slept in my room. I could see how much she misses me. My wife on her side acted like nothing too her normal behaviour as usual . For the sake of my 2 youngest children I sat her down and talked with her. How we should makes things better for the sake of our children especially the younger ones.

I have apologized to her on my knees all to no avail. I am tired of my wife turning my children against me they have becoming out of control ... I can’t correct them it pains me a lot to see my own children disrespecting me. I don’t want them to grow up and hate me all their life I want to have my family back. A happy home how we used to be before but my wife don’t want to cooperate with me I thought this lock-down will bring us together so we could sorted out our differences and fix our marriage to become better but all to no avail.

I am writing this sitting inside my car in the compound because I can’t even go inside the house because I have nobody to talk to my 2 youngest children that keeps me busy are asleep. I am so lonely all alone please how can I put an end to all this I am fed up ...

Anyone who has ever experienced something like this can you please advice me on how did you overcome this. I hope I was brief enough...

nanauju:
Quote all the super mods and the mod of the section. Frustrated peeps shouldn't be let out on the loose

Paul8000:
Good evening ladies and gents...

My name is Paul, I am married to my beautiful wife Vivian by name for the past 16 years . We have 5 wonderful children together Jemima 15, Isaac 12, Elizabeth 9, Samuel 6 and Tabitha 3. We are based in Liberia. We both are working and earning well by God grace. I have few issues with my wife that brought me here to get some advice.

Anytime my wife and I had some misunderstanding, she does involve the children. The oldest 3 she tells them everything including how I cheated on her, she also feed them with lies that I am a bad man and I want to kills her. She tells them so many things to make them hate me. They will disrespect and keeping malice with me to the extend of if I send them for errands, she will stop them and tell them not to go. No matter how much I shouted at them to go, they will not obey me because their mother has the final say. For example my wife and I are having some misunderstandings for over 3 weeks now, we are not talking or sleeping in the same room. I have tried to makes things works for us but she refused.

The children are also keeping malice with me. I sent Elizabeth to go and get some water for me, she obeyed and went to the kitchen, few moments later she came back empty handed staring at me in shock. I asked her what about the water she said her mother said I should go in the kitchen to get the water myself . At that moment I just couldn’t take it anymore I exploded in anger I went to the kitchen we had a heated arguments she pour water on me I really wanted to hit her so hard but I control my anger and walked away.

I left the house for 3 days to cool down. because I was so angry with her I just wanted to be alone. I then went home after 3 days,my 3 oldest children acted like they hadn’t seen me they were busy with their phone/ tablets and it was only my 2 youngest that were missing me they both hugged me like never before me. My youngest daughter refuse to leave my room she even slept in my room. I could see how much she misses me. My wife on her side acted like nothing too her normal behaviour as usual . For the sake of my 2 youngest children I sat her down and talked with her. How we should makes things better for the sake of our children especially the younger ones.

I have apologized to her on my knees all to no avail. I am tired of my wife turning my children against me they have becoming out of control ... I can’t correct them it pains me a lot to see my own children disrespecting me. I don’t want them to grow up and hate me all their life I want to have my family back. A happy home how we used to be before but my wife don’t want to cooperate with me I thought this lock-down will bring us together so we could sorted out our differences and fix our marriage to become better but all to no avail.

I am writing this sitting inside my car in the compound because I can’t even go inside the house because I have nobody to talk to my 2 youngest children that keeps me busy are asleep. I am so lonely all alone please how can I put an end to all this I am fed up ...

Anyone who has ever experienced something like this can you please advice me on how did you overcome this. I hope I was brief enough...

Acmepreneur:
I pity your LIFE, bet it with me, you will end your life miserable. So you think op should flog,continue. I look forward to when child abusers would be arrested and hung in this country. Idiot

Bola146:
Covid has entered your brain, Pele.

Paul8000:
Good evening ladies and gents...

My name is Paul, I am married to my beautiful wife Vivian by name for the past 16 years . We have 5 wonderful children together Jemima 15, Isaac 12, Elizabeth 9, Samuel 6 and Tabitha 3. We are based in Liberia. We both are working and earning well by God grace. I have few issues with my wife that brought me here to get some advice.

Anytime my wife and I had some misunderstanding, she does involve the children. The oldest 3 she tells them everything including how I cheated on her, she also feed them with lies that I am a bad man and I want to kills her. She tells them so many things to make them hate me. They will disrespect and keeping malice with me to the extend of if I send them for errands, she will stop them and tell them not to go. No matter how much I shouted at them to go, they will not obey me because their mother has the final say. For example my wife and I are having some misunderstandings for over 3 weeks now, we are not talking or sleeping in the same room. I have tried to makes things works for us but she refused.

The children are also keeping malice with me. I sent Elizabeth to go and get some water for me, she obeyed and went to the kitchen, few moments later she came back empty handed staring at me in shock. I asked her what about the water she said her mother said I should go in the kitchen to get the water myself . At that moment I just couldn’t take it anymore I exploded in anger I went to the kitchen we had a heated arguments she pour water on me I really wanted to hit her so hard but I control my anger and walked away.

I left the house for 3 days to cool down. because I was so angry with her I just wanted to be alone. I then went home after 3 days,my 3 oldest children acted like they hadn’t seen me they were busy with their phone/ tablets and it was only my 2 youngest that were missing me they both hugged me like never before me. My youngest daughter refuse to leave my room she even slept in my room. I could see how much she misses me. My wife on her side acted like nothing too her normal behaviour as usual . For the sake of my 2 youngest children I sat her down and talked with her. How we should makes things better for the sake of our children especially the younger ones.

I have apologized to her on my knees all to no avail. I am tired of my wife turning my children against me they have becoming out of control ... I can’t correct them it pains me a lot to see my own children disrespecting me. I don’t want them to grow up and hate me all their life I want to have my family back. A happy home how we used to be before but my wife don’t want to cooperate with me I thought this lock-down will bring us together so we could sorted out our differences and fix our marriage to become better but all to no avail.

I am writing this sitting inside my car in the compound because I can’t even go inside the house because I have nobody to talk to my 2 youngest children that keeps me busy are asleep. I am so lonely all alone please how can I put an end to all this I am fed up ...

Anyone who has ever experienced something like this can you please advice me on how did you overcome this. I hope I was brief enough...

Timileyin1234:
Not all of them takes their mother side. Madam e read again

ImaIma1:
Ok. Don't be close to your children now. Let it be your wife's job

Paul8000:
Good evening ladies and gents...

My name is Paul, I am married to my beautiful wife Vivian by name for the past 16 years . We have 5 wonderful children together Jemima 15, Isaac 12, Elizabeth 9, Samuel 6 and Tabitha 3. We are based in Liberia. We both are working and earning well by God grace. I have few issues with my wife that brought me here to get some advice.

Anytime my wife and I had some misunderstanding, she does involve the children. The oldest 3 she tells them everything including how I cheated on her, she also feed them with lies that I am a bad man and I want to kills her. She tells them so many things to make them hate me. They will disrespect and keeping malice with me to the extend of if I send them for errands, she will stop them and tell them not to go. No matter how much I shouted at them to go, they will not obey me because their mother has the final say. For example my wife and I are having some misunderstandings for over 3 weeks now, we are not talking or sleeping in the same room. I have tried to makes things works for us but she refused.

The children are also keeping malice with me. I sent Elizabeth to go and get some water for me, she obeyed and went to the kitchen, few moments later she came back empty handed staring at me in shock. I asked her what about the water she said her mother said I should go in the kitchen to get the water myself . At that moment I just couldn’t take it anymore I exploded in anger I went to the kitchen we had a heated arguments she pour water on me I really wanted to hit her so hard but I control my anger and walked away.

I left the house for 3 days to cool down. because I was so angry with her I just wanted to be alone. I then went home after 3 days,my 3 oldest children acted like they hadn’t seen me they were busy with their phone/ tablets and it was only my 2 youngest that were missing me they both hugged me like never before me. My youngest daughter refuse to leave my room she even slept in my room. I could see how much she misses me. My wife on her side acted like nothing too her normal behaviour as usual . For the sake of my 2 youngest children I sat her down and talked with her. How we should makes things better for the sake of our children especially the younger ones.

I have apologized to her on my knees all to no avail. I am tired of my wife turning my children against me they have becoming out of control ... I can’t correct them it pains me a lot to see my own children disrespecting me. I don’t want them to grow up and hate me all their life I want to have my family back. A happy home how we used to be before but my wife don’t want to cooperate with me I thought this lock-down will bring us together so we could sorted out our differences and fix our marriage to become better but all to no avail.

I am writing this sitting inside my car in the compound because I can’t even go inside the house because I have nobody to talk to my 2 youngest children that keeps me busy are asleep. I am so lonely all alone please how can I put an end to all this I am fed up ...

Anyone who has ever experienced something like this can you please advice me on how did you overcome this. I hope I was brief enough...

Bola146:
Why not be honest for once Mr counselor, kindly advise them

Digitiminimi:
how is this lockdown Boss? May God assist us

yeyeosoronga:
While you were too busy with your concubines, fire was burning under your roof.
You weren't there for your older children when they probably needed you the most as you were busy spending your time and money with your opekes.
You better don't make the same mistake with the younger ones.
The older ones seem to have given up on you. and have learnt how not to rely on you because you've probably let them down in the past with your absence. They didnt even care you were away dead or alive for 3 whole days.
Anyway, my advice for you is to work on your children one on one.
Let them get to know you individually. Start taking your eldest child with you when you go out, and ask him/her to escort you so you get to spend individual time together. Do same for the others, and don't spend time with them all together but individually till you are able to earn their trust again before you start spending time all together.
It's a long journey, which you can still redeem yourselfdeadoreEven e your children.
Don't let them see a father that abandons his children for 3 days because he is angry at their mother, don't let them see a father that comes home drunk, don't let them see a father that puts his concubines needs above theirs.
Ask them to come directly to you if they need anything, give them pocket money weekly (yes, the older ones will have some minor needs. It doesn't have to be a lot. Even if it is 500naira for data)
Beating the older ones at this stage will only further alienate them from you, as that ship has long sailed.
Good luck as you make amends with your children. At least give it your best shot.
Unfortunately, your marriage is dead. I'm not sure if you have the energy to revive it, but if you have wronged your wife apologise and ask her what she wants. A divorce to end the misery for both of you or another go at the marriage.

miltonchux:
It happens, I have a lady her man got another woman pregnant why she has not had a baby yet. They are both living happily and she later had hers. Why is all the unforgiveness and bitterness and to even resort to brainwash the kids to disrespect there dad. Whoever support such act is evil. My parents never quarrel in our present or make us know they have misunderstand. That is maturity. The man should leave the home for her, let's see how she will cope.

Ironic:
D'fvq did I just read? Like, you'll send your kids on an errand, your wife will stop them and you won't do anything?

[s]Like, you don't flog your kids?
You fvckin claiming Western pattern of raising kids [/s]by being a simp to them all to be tagged a modern dad?
You gotta be a typical African dad asap!

Bruv, the first thing you need to do now is to make them to be scared of you. Very necessary at this point.

[s]Next time you send any of them message and he/she refuses because of your wife, flog the hell out of that one, if your wife tries to misbehave, flog her too with well-deserved uppercut and smackdown[/s]. If possible, stop eating her food because she's capable of doing something unexpected with what you eat.

They'll become scared of your recent behavior and adjust. Strict dads keep the best, calm and organized home.
[s]
What next? Your wife will try to manipulate them by using your new attitude towards them[/s]. Keep being strict towards them and still do your fatherly works towards them.

Trust me, you need to go very hard right now since your soft ways ain't working.

Mothers manipulations towards their kids against their dad can only function when they are tender, when they grow, they MUST know the truth and the mum will be at the loosing end.

If you don't have the mind to do what I've advised--Divorce your wife. You can't keep housing a demon who's quick to use your kids against you because she's closer to them.

Gracealone:
The main issue that may make your wife disrespect you is your lack of money. If you are the breadwinner, it cannot be this bad.

Dande55:
Lol. You cheated on your wife with 3 different ladies, only God knows how long each cheating lasted. The time you were meant to be close to your children, you relegated all those duties to your wife. Now, she has 100% of their audience. And you think, Those times she cried and wept in front of those kids, that they aren't aware what's going on? You think they weren't building up grudges against You? Lool
This is the wicked mistake some of you men make, leaving your wives to train the kids alone and then, when they must have grown, you think you will just manipulate them and just have your way with them that easy?
And upon that, you had a child outside with another woman. Most of these men telling you to do this or that wouldn't have taking it lightly if this story was from the opposite gender cheating and having kids outside their home.


You've not seen anything, you will see worse when the children might have grown. You will shed blood, you will have a share of the tears you caused that poor innocent woman. Her anger on you reçently is caused by accumulated grudges she had for you all these years of your cheating and maltreating.

For you to make it work, you have to prove yourself to your wife and kids. Let them sincerely see you've changed. Cos, running out of your home gave them the impression that you must have gone to see your girlfriends as usual, reason they ignored you.
Work on your family cos you've failed your wife and kids.


Btw, women, have your own money, the op is still respecting the wife cos he knows that she's capable of fending for her kids and still living her life uniterupted if anything goes South.

Timileyin1234:
Pls I don’t have energy this evening

Ironic:
D'fvq did I just read? Like, you'll send your kids on an errand, your wife will stop them and you won't do anything?

Like, you don't flog your kids?
You fvckin claiming Western pattern of raising kids by being a simp to them all to be tagged a modern dad?
You gotta be a typical African dad asap!

Bruv, the first thing you need to do now is to make them to be scared of you. Very necessary at this point.

Next time you send any of them message and he/she refuses because of your wife, flog the hell out of that one, if your wife tries to misbehave, flog her too with well-deserved uppercut and smackdown. If possible, stop eating her food because she's capable of doing something unexpected with what you eat.

They'll become scared of your recent behavior and adjust. Strict dads keep the best, calm and organized home.

What next? Your wife will try to manipulate them by using your new attitude towards them. Keep being strict towards them and still do your fatherly works towards them.

Trust me, you need to go very hard right now since your soft ways ain't working.

Mothers manipulations towards their kids against their dad can only function when they are tender, when they grow, they MUST know the truth and the mum will be at the loosing end.

If you don't have the mind to do what I've advised--Divorce your wife. You can't keep housing a demon who's quick to use your kids against you because she's closer to them.

Paul8000:
I have apologized to her on my knees all to no avail.

Paul8000:
Good evening ladies and gents...

My name is Paul, I am married to my beautiful wife Vivian by name for the past 16 years . We have 5 wonderful children together Jemima 15, Isaac 12, Elizabeth 9, Samuel 6 and Tabitha 3. We are based in Liberia. We both are working and earning well by God grace. I have few issues with my wife that brought me here to get some advice.

Anytime my wife and I had some misunderstanding, she does involve the children. The oldest 3 she tells them everything including how I cheated on her, she also feed them with lies that I am a bad man and I want to kills her. She tells them so many things to make them hate me. They will disrespect and keeping malice with me to the extend of if I send them for errands, she will stop them and tell them not to go. No matter how much I shouted at them to go, they will not obey me because their mother has the final say. For example my wife and I are having some misunderstandings for over 3 weeks now, we are not talking or sleeping in the same room. I have tried to makes things works for us but she refused.

The children are also keeping malice with me. I sent Elizabeth to go and get some water for me, she obeyed and went to the kitchen, few moments later she came back empty handed staring at me in shock. I asked her what about the water she said her mother said I should go in the kitchen to get the water myself . At that moment I just couldn’t take it anymore I exploded in anger I went to the kitchen we had a heated arguments she pour water on me I really wanted to hit her so hard but I control my anger and walked away.

I left the house for 3 days to cool down. because I was so angry with her I just wanted to be alone. I then went home after 3 days,my 3 oldest children acted like they hadn’t seen me they were busy with their phone/ tablets and it was only my 2 youngest that were missing me they both hugged me like never before me. My youngest daughter refuse to leave my room she even slept in my room. I could see how much she misses me. My wife on her side acted like nothing too her normal behaviour as usual . For the sake of my 2 youngest children I sat her down and talked with her. How we should makes things better for the sake of our children especially the younger ones.

I have apologized to her on my knees all to no avail. I am tired of my wife turning my children against me they have becoming out of control ... I can’t correct them it pains me a lot to see my own children disrespecting me. I don’t want them to grow up and hate me all their life I want to have my family back. A happy home how we used to be before but my wife don’t want to cooperate with me I thought this lock-down will bring us together so we could sorted out our differences and fix our marriage to become better but all to no avail.

I am writing this sitting inside my car in the compound because I can’t even go inside the house because I have nobody to talk to my 2 youngest children that keeps me busy are asleep. I am so lonely all alone please how can I put an end to all this I am fed up ...

Anyone who has ever experienced something like this can you please advice me on how did you overcome this. I hope I was brief enough...

Paul8000:
Good evening ladies and gents...

My name is Paul, I am married to my beautiful wife Vivian by name for the past 16 years . We have 5 wonderful children
Anyone who has ever experienced something like this can you please advice me on how did you overcome this. I hope I was brief enough...

Ironic:
D'fvq did I just read? Like, you'll send your kids on an errand, your wife will stop them and you won't do anything?

Like, you don't flog your kids?
You fvckin claiming Western pattern of raising kids by being a simp to them all to be tagged a modern dad?
You gotta be a typical African dad asap!

Bruv, the first thing you need to do now is to make them to be scared of you. Very necessary at this point.

Next time you send any of them message and he/she refuses because of your wife, flog the hell out of that one, if your wife tries to misbehave, flog her too with well-deserved uppercut and smackdown. If possible, stop eating her food because she's capable of doing something unexpected with what you eat.

They'll become scared of your recent behavior and adjust. Strict dads keep the best, calm and organized home.

What next? Your wife will try to manipulate them by using your new attitude towards them. Keep being strict towards them and still do your fatherly works towards them.

Trust me, you need to go very hard right now since your soft ways ain't working.

Mothers manipulations towards their kids against their dad can only function when they are tender, when they grow, they MUST know the truth and the mum will be at the loosing end.

If you don't have the mind to do what I've advised--Divorce your wife. You can't keep housing a demon who's quick to use your kids against you because she's closer to them.