piamily:
Okay. There’s thing guy I met one time last year. So he came up bold and said he was interested in a relationship. He didn’t even waste time. I was impressed . Normally I was supposed to dish out my “naija shakara girls style” you know, but I didn’t . After some days I agreed to date him.

I found out he’s easy going so I decided to give in and be mutual with the love and attraction etc. as soon as I got interested, he withdrew.

I noticed it . I don’t understand why a man will do this. Was he not interested? And does he expect the woman to hate him.

I see some men complain about ladies being hard to get and now a lady didn’t play that much hard yet the man withdrew a bit. Still don’t get men sometimes sha

Some guys are just very weird naturally. I hate girls who play hard to get, I very much do.

This guy probably didn't care in the first place, but you got attracted rather. And he decided to play around, I really can't tell.

Ignore the mofo. And focus on something better.

Zoie:
The average Nigerian man suffers from an extremely weak self esteem that needs to stay constantly bloated to stay functional.
That's why they chase after ladies who treat them like shi.t and avoid ladies who show them love. The hunt makes them happy. The thrill of having to constantly woo a woman makes them feel good. Makes them feel she is better than the one who shows love even without being wooed..even if the former is a retired runs girl.

I don't totally agree to this your assumptions becos i think you are talking the other way round

frankkydee:












I don't totally agree to this your assumptions becos i think you are taking the other way round

Your cup of gravel, my dear. I don't give a fvck whether you agree or not.

Zoie:
The average Nigerian man suffers from an extremely weak self esteem that needs to stay constantly bloated to stay functional.
That's why they chase after ladies who treat them like shi.t and avoid ladies who show them love. The hunt makes them happy. The thrill of having to constantly woo a woman makes them feel good. Makes them feel she is better than the one who shows love even without being wooed..even if the former is a retired runs girl.

This exactly how it is in all honesty

Thanks love

James4bright:


Some guys are just very weird naturally. I hate girls who play hard to get, I very much do.

This guy probably didn't care in the first place, but you got attracted rather. And he decided to play around, I really can't tell.

Ignore the mofo. And focus on something better.

So true

Irony of life

Renida:




This exactly how it is in all honesty

piamily:
So true

Irony of life

That's why I kept pointing at

1. State of maturity

2. Mental psyche of the other party



If a person isn't relaxed in loving or mature, they won't make good partners. Forget it. Always check the psyche of your love interest to now if it's a good deal or just chap. While I say I haven't found one I liked, last year close to ten ladies within a social circle wanted me. But damn it, many Nigerians have bad psyche which is going to turn one into a therapist or mental care giver in the long run, so it's better to be single than be with people with psychological issues.

Zoie:

Your cup of gravel, my dear. I don't give a fvck whether you agree or not.

Has it gotten to this already? Am sorry if I touched a nerve!

Damn true !!

Renida:



That's why I kept pointing at

1. State of maturity

2. Mental psyche of the other party



If a person isn't relaxed in loving or mature, they won't make good partners. Forget it.

piamily:
Damn true !!

Don't be unhappy if you're still single. Forgive yourself for not being hooked. And who knows when we stop searching, it just could come looking for us.

Lol

Yeah

Renida:



Don't be unhappy if you're still single. Forgive yourself for not being hooked. And who knows when we stop searching, it just could come looking for us.

piamily:
Okay. There’s thing guy I met one time last year. So he came up bold and said he was interested in a relationship. He didn’t even waste time. I was impressed . Normally I was supposed to dish out my “naija shakara girls style” you know, but I didn’t . After some days I agreed to date him.

I found out he’s easy going so I decided to give in and be mutual with the love and attraction etc. as soon as I got interested, he withdrew.

I noticed it . I don’t understand why a man will do this. Was he not interested? And does he expect the woman to hate him.

I see some men complain about ladies being hard to get and now a lady didn’t play that much hard yet the man withdrew a bit. Still don’t get men sometimes sha

I can relate with this your story very well, Its physiological but I can't really explain now

piamily:
Oh ! I get you now. So you’re saying Nigerian men really want ladies to play the hard to get very hard then. So why are they complaining. Well then I’ll keep playing it hard as usual since they think it was bread and butter they got in a platter of gold

Playing hard to get don't work for all guys. Mature guys will see it as immaturity. You can do that to young guys who just want to bleep and move on but if you try such with a guy who is truly serious with you, he will simply move on.

Like me, there is a limit I can tolerate a girl that play hard to get. Once a lady exhausts her life line or exceeds that limit, I don yakpa no time.

I will simply see you as the not serious type who doesn't know what she wants.

Be yourself. And if you must play hard to get with a guy you like, do it with sense. Don't over do it so that it won't make the guy back off.

Humans are different.

You sound like an introvert

Renida:



Nah. Attraction and soul interest are two different issues. Anyone can be attracted to persons, but then your person of interest may not be available or may not want to be in a relationship for reasons like ethnicity, attraction is first, in loving relationships people develop an extensive list that's almost many times designed to keep them single, not help them find love, another mental imbalance issue in the psyche of a lovers interest


I'd rather be working on my combustion engines blueprint, factory manual review, conducting improvements in my engineering systems designs, solving mysteries in quantum physics, writing scientific papers than let love exhaust me now. Love drains. I'd rather be willing to forfeit my ego and be chased at this moment.

piamily:
Thanks love

It's just immaturity and nothing else.

I met a girl some weeks ago, starting wooing her immediately I saw her walking in her building, this girl made me talk for too long without saying anything back, but I could catch those little grins and smiles she tried to hide, I knew she liked me but was playing hard to get. Lastly she gave me her number but I didn't even think of calling. Am I mad ni? I hate pretentious and fake people.

piamily:

You sound like an introvert

How so? Talk to me

Can you share please ?

frankkydee:











How wrong could it be? Though as for me, I don't take any lady that shows interest in me for granted, I was just talking from the experience I had with some of my male friends

Can’t explain
I just feel it

Like you’re an introvert but people around you think you’re extroverted

Renida:



How so? Talk to me

piamily:

Can’t explain
I just feel it

Like you’re an introvert but people around you think you’re extroverted

Mental tinkering, I'm a deep thinker that spends lots of time thinking abi? . I live in my head cause I'm somewhat complex right?

Jflex07:
Do not accept what that guy is saying, for me I easily lose interest once a girl plays hard to get.Individual cases differ my dear

Exactly.

piamily:
I have noticed men especially African men loose interest when a lady becomes interested in them even just a bit.I really don’t get it.

Do men expect women to hate them even when the men love the women? Cos I don’t understand if it should be mutual or not

Your views please

I don't know whoever brought up this thwarted view and some men too pride in it. Some women use it to act really defiant and emotionless even though they like the guy. Now dear op, I think it's just immature and silly for a guy to act as such. I feel it's only a guy that has had his way(sex or money or whatever) with a lady that wld do such. If you love a lady and she shows interest keep going.. Never stop even after marriage.

piamily:
Okay. There’s thing guy I met one time last year. So he came up bold and said he was interested in a relationship. He didn’t even waste time. I was impressed . Normally I was supposed to dish out my “naija shakara girls style” you know, but I didn’t . After some days I agreed to date him.

I found out he’s easy going so I decided to give in and be mutual with the love and attraction etc. as soon as I got interested, he withdrew.

I noticed it . I don’t understand why a man will do this. Was he not interested? And does he expect the woman to hate him.

I see some men complain about ladies being hard to get and now a lady didn’t play that much hard yet the man withdrew a bit. Still don’t get men sometimes sha

One reason can be that he doesn't like the girl in question that much and that's it.

Another reason is that girls sometimes overload guys that they like with attention and expect to receive the same or even more attention in return. This gets to irritate and/or suffocate the guy most times causing him to withdraw. Cos sensible people don't like to start what they can't continue.

Another common reason is simple human nature. If you make a person feel like a star, it's only a matter of time before they start treating you like a fan. Humans usually can't help it. Except the person is self aware and genuinely good.

That's why they say that we should go into love/ relationships with our head

In my own standards once I approach a lady I like and you start acting and playing hard to get. Then it's a no no for me.

piamily:

No the guy hasn’t even chased and chased , he just started and is doing shakara because the woman acts interested. I really don’t understand if men expect women to chase them.

Won’t he kill his ego?

Dey tell you to go for a guy u like , don’t try it o

Two major reasons I know of are:

1. He values the girl a lot that he wouldn't want to waste her time or falsely raise her hope to enable her focus on others; maybe because (a) he observed differences between them that would prevent them from having a mutually healthy and happy relationship - and it's not a case of him being better than her, and vice versa. (b) He's in a committed relationship with another woman and holds the bond of the relationship sacred to the extent that he wouldn't like to desecrate it - so he has to withdraw attention from you (the girl) for the mutual good of all.

2. It could be that the girl did not meet the standard he held her from afar, this depends on what usually makes him fall in love - of course, this doesn't automatically mean that the girl is evil, in fact, it could even mean that it takes an evil girl to make him fall in love.

Hed0nist:


One reason can be that he doesn't like the girl in question that much and that's it.

Another reason is that girls sometimes overload guys that they like with attention and expect to receive the same or even more attention in return. This gets to irritate and/or suffocate the guy most times causing him to withdraw. Cos sensible people don't like to start what they can't continue.

Another common reason is simple human nature. If you make a person feel like a star, it's only a matter of time before they start treating you like a fan. Humans usually can't help it. Except the person is self aware and genuinely good.

That's why they say that we should go into love/ relationships with our head

I feel the first case is very annoying , if u hv someone , there is no need being close to a girl. Let’s respect ourselves

Lalasticlala
Farano
Let’s hear from a larger audience

Liliantalks:
Lalasticlala
Farano
Let’s hear from a largest audience

Let me help you by adding one or two more names


Dominique

Ok the truth is the guy is scared ,yes he
Approached you first and all and you
Didn't give him a tough time ,you didn't
Even do your normal naija girl shakara,
dat where the problem lies ,he knows
You love him and he is scared of losing u
Cause he doesn't want to get heart
broken ,he didn't believe u could just
Accept like dat ,but since he knows u
Are attracted to him ,he wouldn't want
To get heart broken because he now feels like he has some kinda power over u and that's where
His ego comes in ,so my advice is give him
Space plenty of space and he's gonna
Crawl back to you ,and when he does
Create that I'm too busy for u kinda style
Dat going to make it more fun and adventures
For him .

Wow

Why do you say so

Liliantalks:
Dey tell you to go for a guy u like , don’t try it o

Wow

MikeofKd:
Ok the truth is the guy is scared ,yes he
Approached you first and all and you
Didn't give him a tough time ,you didn't
Even do your normal naija girl shakara,
dat where the problem lies ,he knows
You love him and he is scared of losing u
Cause he doesn't want to get heart
broken ,he didn't believe u could just
Accept like dat ,but since he knows u
Are attracted to him ,he wouldn't want
To get heart broken because he now feels like he has some kinda power over u and that's where
His ego comes in ,so my advice is give him
Space plenty of space and he's gonna
Crawl back to you ,and when he does
Create that I'm too busy for u kinda style
Dat going to make it more fun and adventures
For him .

piamily:


Wow

Why do you say so

from experience, guys loose interest on ladies that r into them , it’s like a competition, allow him do the calling , set the dates , make all the efforts . U should be accepting him for he’s efforts not cause u like him , ofcourse u must find him attractive to accept him