It is not a man problem, it is a general problem. From experience, there were few reasons I found myself doing same;

1. He was not a perfect fit. You see some guys/girls that claim to be more important than technology. When you go close to them, you discover they are not as special as they advertise themselves or they are just not your spec (not any fault of theirs).

2. For the thrill. People that claim alfa are major victims. You wanna see how they are without their defenses. Once that is done, on to the next one.

3. Regular is boring. So, diminishing marginal returns will start setting in. I think this is why some people like a little drama and makeup sex.

4. He/she is already in a relationship. It is only sensible you retract when the other gender is crossing the line.

It is not always easy telling people these things. So, most of us would rather play the tactical withdrawal and hope you get the memo.

piamily:
I have noticed men especially African men loose interest when a lady becomes interested in them even just a bit. I really don’t get it.

Do men expect women to hate them even when the men love the women? Cos I don’t understand if it should be mutual or not

Your views please

Your assertion is totally wrong, for two to be able to equate together, there should be balance. You can't go for what's bigger than you and expect balance, he'll use and dump u.

Not in all circumstances. Imagine being a guy like Wizkid and a girl like Ariana Grande or Taylor Swift is interested in you, it will be hard for you as the guy to turn her down.

When ladies plays hard to get for so long the guy lose focus guys no longer wait .

The world has changed and many ladies still thinks this is 80s or 90s

Kekereekun123:
Cant related dunno who you have been dating. These days people Bleep on the same day they meet or first date. You con dey expect man to chase u for long. Who u Who born you Hiw do you exist

You are a ladical, whu you?

piamily:
I have noticed men especially African men loose interest when a lady becomes interested in them even just a bit. I really don’t get it.

Do men expect women to hate them even when the men love the women? Cos I don’t understand if it should be mutual or not

Your views please

Why do you get suspicious when a 24k gold is offered to you at $500/ounce??
How I see it most times...n most times I'm wrong.

piamily:
Okay. There’s thing guy I met one time last year. So he came up bold and said he was interested in a relationship. He didn’t even waste time. I was impressed . Normally I was supposed to dish out my “naija shakara girls style” you know, but I didn’t . After some days I agreed to date him.

I found out he’s easy going so I decided to give in and be mutual with the love and attraction etc. as soon as I got interested, he withdrew.

I noticed it . I don’t understand why a man will do this. Was he not interested? And does he expect the woman to hate him.

I see some men complain about ladies being hard to get and now a lady didn’t play that much hard yet the man withdrew a bit. Still don’t get men sometimes sha

Wawooo

piamily:
I have noticed men especially African men loose interest when a lady becomes interested in them even just a bit. I really don’t get it.

Do men expect women to hate them even when the men love the women? Cos I don’t understand if it should be mutual or not

Your views please

Becasue we've become so used to chasing that it's the only thing that gives us thrill. Don't blame us, it's you guys that caused it. If every ones in a while you went out of your way to show a guy you liked him, it won't be less thrilling when we get positive attitudes from you.

I do noticed that even with myself as a good example........


I even thought maybe I have spiritual wife..lol
Cuz most girls that like me , I don't like the back, infact, I'll just look away.... thinking in myself that I be fine boy nah...but most girls I like don't usually give a flying bout dating me, but when one is eventually showing green light, something somewhere will just make me to start ignoring her like...or maybe nah winch dey do me sef...I thought then......... until I realized probably I m afraid of getting into a relationship whatever....

piamily:
Okay. There’s thing guy I met one time last year. So he came up bold and said he was interested in a relationship. He didn’t even waste time. I was impressed . Normally I was supposed to dish out my “naija shakara girls style” you know, but I didn’t . After some days I agreed to date him.

I found out he’s easy going so I decided to give in and be mutual with the love and attraction etc. as soon as I got interested, he withdrew.

I noticed it . I don’t understand why a man will do this. Was he not interested? And does he expect the woman to hate him.

I see some men complain about ladies being hard to get and now a lady didn’t play that much hard yet the man withdrew a bit. Still don’t get men sometimes sha

You wanted too much attention guys Don't like ladies that like too much attention we get tired and bored giving a man his much cherished space will make him cherish you and not breathing down his neck every second

piamily:
I have noticed men especially African men loose interest when a lady becomes interested in them even just a bit. I really don’t get it.

Do men expect women to hate them even when men love women? Cos I don’t understand if it should be mutual or not

Your views please

It's because we expected the other way round. But if the lady has what it takes to be my wife, I wouldn't oh....
There are some type of lady even on nairaland that they are game-changers. Guys, if you have them just one of them in your life, you will be one of the luckiest people on Earth. But there are some ladies that are destiny destroyer. No matter how far you have gone in life, the moment you join with them, they will pull you down to the ground.

Forget about men, see wetin happen now now for Jos

.

A Lions lose interest when you give a dead meat to it, unlike it's hunted preys. Men are just like Lions !

piamily:
I have noticed men especially African men loose interest when a lady becomes interested in them even just a bit. I really don’t get it.

Do men expect women to hate them even when the men love the women? Cos I don’t understand if it should be mutual or not

Your views please

because the gentleman knows that it's a scam.

Conquered territory

Its not that guys don't like it when a girl show interest on them
But if you don't like d girl u will just snub her
I mean everybody have choice on who dey like.
Relationship can only work if both parties likes each other.
So that only happens when d guy doesn't like u (love at first sight).
So girls don't think otherwise.

Zoie:
The average Nigerian man suffers from an extremely weak self esteem that needs to stay constantly bloated to stay functional.
That's why they chase after ladies who treat them like shi.t and avoid ladies who show them love. The hunt makes them happy. The thrill of having to constantly woo a woman makes them feel good. Makes them feel she is better than the one who shows love even without being wooed..even if the former is a retired runs girl.

Very true. In fact even to the extent that some Nigerian guys now waste their time wooing girls who are not their age mate(young girls sometimes teenagers) leaving their age mates who sometimes might not be afraid to tell them the truth about their behavior which might clash with their low self esteem.

Renida:



Allow me hard one thing to your life tips. The right man any lady should look out for is what we sages call :


" The man on the progressive path/pathway "


These are guys who at the immediate moment may look unpolished but breaking with ideas, many that seem somewhat unrealistic. These are guys that are constantly looking for how to improve on themselves and better thier lots


Guess what, when you'll meet them, you'll find 70-80% broke. But give them time, five to seven years. This is when to catch them on that upward trajectory so as to cement your grip and position as fruits of their exercises begins to hit maturation season.


A man with a self improvement consciousness will never miss success but maybe delayed, but would make excellent marriage partners as their push to better themselves continues to stir them towards improving everything around them.

Too much sense!
Lotsa girls/ladies are only interested in the 'now', not potential.

piamily:
Okay. There’s thing guy I met one time last year. So he came up bold and said he was interested in a relationship. He didn’t even waste time. I was impressed . Normally I was supposed to dish out my “naija shakara girls style” you know, but I didn’t . After some days I agreed to date him.

I found out he’s easy going so I decided to give in and be mutual with the love and attraction etc. as soon as I got interested, he withdrew.

I noticed it . I don’t understand why a man will do this. Was he not interested? And does he expect the woman to hate him.

I see some men complain about ladies being hard to get and now a lady didn’t play that much hard yet the man withdrew a bit. Still don’t get men sometimes sha

Sorry about that, perhaps the guy has another lady somewher, he came to you with the intention of flirting but when he sees you are trying to take it serious he left. It's better he leaves when you hadn't gone too deep loving him, it might be more difficult getting him out of your mind then. Let him be no matter how difficult it is and move on with your life, what is destined for you will forever be your. On a final note I presume he may come back after your had let him be, if he does be very careful before falling again for him. All the best.

Most times they are disappointed by what they will have to deal with after all the shakara.

piamily:

No the guy hasn’t even chased and chased , he just started and is doing shakara because the woman acts interested. I really don’t understand if men expect women to chase them.

Won’t he kill his ego?

I actually expect women to chase me. I'm more than worth the chase.

Men get picky just a bit and the world has issues with it? So a man has to be interested in you too just because you are interested in them?

Women have been giving an attitude to men interested in them since the dawn of time. Why can't men do the same once in a while? All is fair in love and war.

piamily:
I have noticed men especially African men loose interest when a lady becomes interested in them even just a bit. I really don’t get it.

Do men expect women to hate them even when the men love the women? Cos I don’t understand if it should be mutual or not

Your views please

Dem ask for your location you go put your email there you go school so

Karlifate:

Too much sense!
Lotsa girls/ladies are only interested in the 'now', not potential.

It ends in tears and loneliness

[quote author=Taywon post=89071099][/quote]
lol! that's just me by DEFAULT, I've been working on it over the years, yet no tangible result.

in fact, most ladies hate me for it, they WRONGLY ASSUME I'm arrogant...

shyness is that WORST TRAIT I dislike about myself, it has cost me several loss of creamy ladies and potential wife.

I think it really depends on what they guy needs or they type of girl he would want to be with. Believe me if his kind of girl develop interest in him and approaches him, he will definitely give in. Imagine a girl like Ariana Grande or Taylor Swift having interest for a guy like Wizkid. Him go gree.

It happens when the guy doesn't like the girl. because if he does, he would have approached her. and sometimes, guys would wanna capitalize on it to frustrate the girl emotionally

I was actually going to create a thread on this issue of familiarity breeding contempt before I saw this.

I think the reason is because everyone is confused ( especially the male folk). People don't seem to know what they really want as they tend to believe there is always that someone out there whos better than you. And this is after you must have given them attention. So, what I do in such cases, I let them satisfy their conscience. No need holding them back; to avoid emotional catastrophy.

Let them keep wandering about, looking for what is not lost. The sad part is they end up with the worst choice. Yes!

Renida:



Trust me if I told you my qualifications and more for example you'll want to meet me if not for dating for friendship for example. ( Now imagine the many more like me, aha. ) Trust me, there's always a mixture in every crowd, and if you throw away the entire bunch because of some bad and a psyche that all is bad, you will also throw away the good along with it. Take this comment to the bank and cash in on it

I mistook you for a female. Probably why you didn't reply my mention

Dobson43:



Let me tell you the parable of the lost sheep.
A shepherd once lost a sheep. He left the other 99sheep in search of that one lost sheep. He searched every nooks and crannies till he found what he was looking for.

Moral of the story: you don't search for what you have.

Let me add to it.
Just a story in the Bible that can help clear this. Jesus was hungry in one of his trip he noticed a tree hoping it bears fruit on getting there the tree never had a fruit even though it was its season. Jesus was angry he caused that tree.

Moral of the story:
With all the packaging a man may see you and admire you and hope you have all he wants in a woman. He then chase or seek you. When he now gets closer to you and know everything or have access to everything his interest MAY drop when the woman don't meet up with his desire, when he realized everything was packaging.

My advice; be your true self at all times let the man know and see the real you not the PACKAGED you.

Renida:


I feel sorry if such is the scenario. People lose interest once their person of interest for so many reasons. One of this which I think is the case here is psychological posturing. What this means is some people are used to working extremely hard aka hustling for things. Their entire life rests on a perspective that what they must have, they must work for, unfortunately some of this whole way of thinking affects even not working aspects of their lives. So in relationships for example, this kinds want to toast toast, chase and beg the woman, but if it doesn't follow this narrative and the lady makes asking her out easy, it poses no challenge and isn't mentally tasking. This makes them see lesser value however good such a partner maybe.


I believe the narrative above is the scenarios playing out here. It happens with women also. When people in this category don't suffer for a thing, their brain tricks them to assume it's worth lesser. It's purely psychological

Aswear you are 100percent on point. I fall to that category of men, 3 ladies like that in the past. I didn't handle the whole thing properly, those overtures came too soft to me, and I wouldn't go for them.