₦airaland Forum

When a child is born, he/she comes on a clean slate. Genetics and the immediate environment then forms character, habits and personality.

What past events of this lady do you think could have informed this character? What you see today is a character formed over the years because of circumstances that probably weren't her fault.

Don't involve anyone...get into a heart to heart talk about past events of her life...not to judge but to empathize. Try to identify the root cause of why she's become who she is now, don't judge that person!!

Let her see this thread to show how far you've been hurt, but let her know you really don't want to leave her.

Trust the Holy Spirit to guide you all the way!

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

.

Bro you better no kill yourself early,I had the same wife,her character was the same when we are dating or courtship,she never change even after marriage ,when ever I woke up from sleep I feel this sign of blood in my mouth in the morning,i am the only son of my parent,I took a decision to let her go,we had a son together,ever since then my heart has never been heavy as the whole time I was with her,now I am free,could you believe we are not together but I still take care of our son,we still argue,baba I tire for some kind woman,see now when I am dating any girl and I find such character and I dump them I feel pity for them,its better than frustrating my small life,I dated my wife for 6 month boom We did marriage for that sex month of courtship I love this woman more than anything we always qurrel and fight,I ignore all when we are finally married,I see the consequences,everyday quarrel and fight,now I am at peace she is at peace.no fight no querel no fight.and I have my peace of mind back.

One day, SHE WILL POISON YOU when she can no longer tolerate you. ���

STOP CELEBRATING BIRTHDAYS

DONT ATTACH IMPORTANCE TO THINGS THAT ARE LESS CONCERN TO HER

MAKE SURE YOU ARE GOOD IN BED IF SHE IS THE TYPE .

AVOID THING S SHE HATES (SMOKING, DRINKING AND BODY odour

Ask her things she loves .

The only reason you can seek for divorce is INFIDELITY

UKBobo:
This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

There are some men who are unaware of the effects of a bad woman on the health of a man. Honestly, this is a lesson ohhh. Choose wisely and take your time. Better to wait and remove foot from hot water than be sitting in it daily.

Okay let’s not get carried away and pretend to forget about the effects of a bad man on the health of a woman too. Bad people are bad people, and don’t belong to a particular gender.

noakchukibadan:
. Well, thanks for the advice, maybe I forgot to say that she places huge importance on birthdays, for her I must throw a party, every year for 7 years, and she can not even remember mine. Just to say happy birthday ?

She's trying to enslave you. She's one of those people who cannot handle equality, either they are the master or the slave. In this case her personality is more forceful/dominant than your own so she expects you to submit to her as her slave.

If your kids are both male, leave them for her and walk away, they will come find you later. I know it's hard but it might be the only way for you to stay alive, you've developed hbp already...

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

Bros, I love your maturity and sincerity, it is highly commendable.
Please yield to the counsel of the sages in here. Prayerfully do whatever will give you legitimate peace of mind. You deserve to be happy too.

On the other hand, my fellow Bachelors and 'Man'chelors ....let's learn from this.
Don't ever settle for less, think of the long term.

Realwvn:
I rarely comment here but from what I read, I can tell your tired is tired, for a start, stop crying, fasting and begging baba. You are 42 and you are already emotionally tortured by your wife; she doesn’t rate you if I go by your story, I have witnessed women doing this to their partners on many occasions and the simple solution to this is to be REBORN

1. Change your wardrobe
2. Don’t go home straight after work, go and chop pepper soup somewhere first, get home, play with your children and sleep
3. Even if you are sad, always smile and pretend to be happy at home
4. Find a new hobby, there’s more to life than begging
5. Make your weekends fun, go to the gym, or to the field or learn how to swim and if you already know how to swim, just swim
6. Never disrespect your wife even if she does, learn to say few words
7. Let your yes be yes in your house and No be No. basically, don’t lose your manhood �

Boss !! help me knack am for im ear o ! naa man wey no get life woman dey carry play ...
I thing i know for sure is interesting & fun filled people can't be ignored.
Nobody supernatural buh a lot of guys stories here dey fall hand ... how many wifes will miss a man that nags, cry & pray

My advise to you is to divorce quickly

Freeeanijor:
I'd advise you go seek out the help of a therapist not for your wife but for you, believe me you need to save you from yourself. You are the one that has psychological issues not her because I don't see any reason a man with value would put up with such an unrepentant selfish character like her for a wife.
There's no problem without solution, go get the help of a psychologist

Totally true
Thank you!

Your story touched me.

This happened to someone I know, here is what he did.

He asked his wife for separation, he moved out of the house. The woman was running helter skelter, crying and asking people to plead on her behalf. It went on for a lil while, the man came back and the woman became a whole new person. She changed for good.

It dawned on her that her husband can actually leave her.

Try this before you die of heart attack, and see what happens

I become so afraid of getting married after reading stories of this nature. May God save us from bad wife.

humilitypays:
Good ladies like this guys won't marry them, na ogbanje and mami iwota Naija guys go de rush marry, and after they will come online to be disturbing our peace of mind



Op you saw the signs and decided to chook your head inside. How can u expect a lady to change for good after marriage Have u ever seen any politician that didn't campaign and then start campaigning after he has won the election


Just carry your wife de go, de manage her like that, una have like 20 more years to live as couple and everybody go face him aging wahala so endure

but baba say hin don get high blood pressure,if d woman no kill am,BP go kill am...las las life no hard make e find one small girl wey go dey give am joy, when match resume make e make beer parlor hin comfort zone.

on a serious note.. He should ignore her and look beyond her flaws,for his own happiness...if we say make we dey count wetin people dey do us,we won't be happy

if you've forgiven yourself by marrying her,just forgive her wrong doings in advance for peace to reign and don't let any of her moves excite u anymore ...get used to it

It is not a lack of love but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages like they say. Happiness is a choice & within, pls choose happiness over every other things... Divorce her joor, what rubbish

bukatyne:
You realize that the error is all yours for not choosing well.

For that, you are half way there.

You mentioned that you married in the Church: brother you know that except adultery and I will say abuse, you can't divorce your wife.

You have tried counseling, reporting her to family etc. etc. and it has not worked.

Now, I want you to try changing your reaction to her attitude. You have been married long enough to 'predict' her actions/inactions.

She forgot your birthday, fine. Celebrate yourself. Go out with the kids, go out with your friends etc.

She tries to keep malice, apologize and move on.

I know it is hard, it is abnormal even however you need to build a shield in your heart so that her attitude doesn't get to you anymore.

Don't beg or cajole her to 'change' or 'be better' or whatever: you are telling her that she has power over you.

Thank God finances are not a thing: treat your self, go on vacations, do the certifications or courses you wanted to. Channel your emotions into the things you have always wanted to do, pick up new hobbies, go to gym and workout youf frustrations etc.

And prayers work: if not for her to change, for you to be whole mentally and emotionally.

It is well.

Bullshit. Just read the nonsense you typed a second time especially lines 4 to 6. Smh

U will soon die

boldon:
You married a narcissist. Help urself by reading online about narcissistic personality disorder. I've been there. What u described is a replica of my ex wife..they feel as if they are doing u a favour being married to you.dont deceive urself hoping she will change. They dont! The unfortunate thing is that narcissists dont know that their actions are evil. They think they are always right.

Actually she is doing him a favour and you were before you leveled up against your ex-wife. The world is cold and the cold one comes out ontop most of the time until you checkmate them which then in turn change you from being ordinary simple minded human being. Do you think your knowledge about NPD can ever make you remain the same like you were once was?

if you marry the wrong woman your life span is automatically reduced with increased health and mental problems,and the path of divorce is one to be threaded with caution and wisdom because most times it does not end well and the man will die mysteriously in the night and the wife will be the first to cry in the morning,it is he that wear the shoe knows we're it hurts,you have really tried by managing the situation but it will benefit everyone for you to manage even more and compromise even more to save the marriage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-fa-BeFzgc

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

You must be the one from Ekiti

The bitter pill is always hard to take but I think, you and only you have the best decision to take. Our share of thoughts can either push you to stay calm or overreact...
Kindly ask God for directions and trust me, He and only Him will lead you right. Stay blessed and stay safe sir.

merahki:
Everything that irritated you, Man, in the bolded part of your post? Absolutely made my skin crawl. Irritation is a benign feeling compared to what I felt at reading that. I am Woman myself.
He is a very weak man. His wife is also very weak for being with someone she clearly can’t stand. I give up.

I commend your truthfulness on coming up with the fact that the wife is weak for settling down with a weak man like the OP. If she wanted to play game at least she should have ended up with someone ferocious with a deep defense mechanism against her tact and see if at the end of the day she could break him; instead she choose a weaker target which make the game not fun for either of them. Boring marriage for them

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

In Fela's voice:
When you marry an Ekiti woman, wetin you dey find.....palava you dey find, palava yo go geti o o

golddare:
Prayerfully divorce her, very funny guy.

bukatyne:
You realize that the error is all yours for not choosing well.

For that, you are half way there.

You mentioned that you married in the Church: brother you know that except adultery and I will say abuse, you can't divorce your wife.

You have tried counseling, reporting her to family etc. etc. and it has not worked.

Now, I want you to try changing your reaction to her attitude. You have been married long enough to 'predict' her actions/inactions.

She forgot your birthday, fine. Celebrate yourself. Go out with the kids, go out with your friends etc.

She tries to keep malice, apologize and move on.

I know it is hard, it is abnormal even however you need to build a shield in your heart so that her attitude doesn't get to you anymore.

Don't beg or cajole her to 'change' or 'be better' or whatever: you are telling her that she has power over you.

Thank God finances are not a thing: treat your self, go on vacations, do the certifications or courses you wanted to. Channel your emotions into the things you have always wanted to do, pick up new hobbies, go to gym and workout youf frustrations etc.

And prayers work: if not for her to change, for you to be whole mentally and emotionally.

It is well.

Una can kill with this una religious nonsense.

You think it's easy to put up with such?

Have you been in such situation before?

Stop the no divorce ideology. It is stvpid.

Please Mr. Poster,

I am praying you to divorce her as soon as you can.

It is not too late to start all over again.

Don't let any demon torment you to death. Don't!

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

Hmm...my advice, be at peace with yourself.

Live a peaceful life away from her. Find solutions to be in communication with your children as they grow.
Pray for her. She would have to genuinely believe and change, not forced.

Live life with a peaceful heart.

Oselu28:
but baba say hin don get high blood pressure,if d woman no kill am,BP go kill am...las las life no hard make e find one small girl wey go dey give am joy, when match resume make e make beer parlor hin comfort zone.

on a serious note.. He should ignore her and look beyond her flaws,for his own happiness...if we say make we dey count wetin people dey do us,we won't be happy

if you've forgiven yourself by marrying her,just forgive her wrong doings in advance for peace to reign and don't let any of her moves excite u anymore ...get used to it

Will he die if he finally divorce the demon?

Why are you guys been very wicked to the Op by asking him to remain in hell? Why?

bukatyne:
You realize that the error is all yours for not choosing well.

For that, you are half way there.

You mentioned that you married in the Church: brother you know that except adultery and I will say abuse, you can't divorce your wife.

You have tried counseling, reporting her to family etc. etc. and it has not worked.

Now, I want you to try changing your reaction to her attitude. You have been married long enough to 'predict' her actions/inactions.

She forgot your birthday, fine. Celebrate yourself. Go out with the kids, go out with your friends etc.

She tries to keep malice, apologize and move on.

I know it is hard, it is abnormal even however you need to build a shield in your heart so that her attitude doesn't get to you anymore.

Don't beg or cajole her to 'change' or 'be better' or whatever: you are telling her that she has power over you.

Thank God finances are not a thing: treat your self, go on vacations, do the certifications or courses you wanted to. Channel your emotions into the things you have always wanted to do, pick up new hobbies, go to gym and workout youf frustrations etc.

And prayers work: if not for her to change, for you to be whole mentally and emotionally.

It is well.

Good word from the elderly one. OP take note

LISTEN AND LISTEN VERY WELL NEVER YOU DIVORCE YOUR WIFE BECAUSE OF THESE. BUT IGNORE HER BAD CHARACTER.

TAKE THESE PRAYER POINTS:

1. SELF CONTROL YOU AND HER

2. FOR GOD TO TURN HER BAD CHARACTER TO JOY IN YOUR LIFE.

3. FOR GOD TO DELIVER HER FROM MARINE WORLD.

REMOVE DIVORCE FROM YOUR MIND SHE IS YOUR WIFE. IT IS YOUR DUTY TO PROTECT HER, SHE IS NOT YOUR ENEMY. YOUR ENEMY IS SATAN AND THAT OF MARINE SPIRIT.

OMO JAPA. I HAVE A FRIEND FROM KOGI STATE OBA ISMAIL. MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PEACE. MARRY FROM EDO STATE ESAN. HE WAS ALSO LIKE LET ME MANAGE. HE ENDED UP BEEN POISON BY THE WIFE. HE DIED OF LIVER DAMAGE IN JANUARY 2017.
MY BROTHER, THE FLY WEN NO DEY HEAR WORD NA EN DEY FOLLOW DEAD BODY ENTER GRAVE O.

People don't change.

dewiseacre:
When a child is born, he/she comes on a clean slate. Genetics and the immediate environment then forms character, habits and personality.

What past events of this lady do you think could have informed this character? What you see today is a character formed over the years because of circumstances that probably weren't her fault.

Don't involve anyone...get into a heart to heart talk about past events of her life...not to judge but to empathize. Try to identify the root cause of why she's become who she is now, don't judge that person!!

Let her see this thread to show how far you've been hurt, but let her know you really don't want to leave her.

Trust the Holy Spirit to guide you all the way!

Blablablas... If I pray that may you find yourself in this type of situation forever now, you will go all religious and all sh!t.

Op, nobody's got monopoly of wickedness, foul and demonic character.

You can start by reciprocating all her wickedness towards you, let her feel what it is like to be in your shoes.

See, the best thing is to divorce and have your peace.

If you because of children and stay with your wife, if you die she will jump to another available person and your children, who will now take care of them?

Please let the wicked lady go.

For your sanity and mental health.