₦airaland Forum

lefulefu:
those yankee based naija guys who go back to naija to get younger wives such marriages always end in a sad note.Once she steps her foot in the US she grows wings instanta .after the guy trains her in school in most cases in medical school she will divorce him collect his house,car and other properties..prevent him from seeing his kids and get a younger lover for herself that will be smashing her in the house bought by her ex husband

Ishilove:
This is very amusing, and a tad exaggerated.

wany:
Hmmmm I always laugh my heart out in sympathy when I see older guys going for younger women.the sad truth is the younger woman also wants a younger man,but because they are broke they relax and settle for older men,and when fix they move to their heart desire and those that refuse to move because of financial security,cheat with some one of their age bracket.but it is difficult for an African man,most especially Nigerian men to accept this home truth,you always hear them say men marry down.pray this marrying down does not lead to early 6feet.

benji93:
The society should protect the weak and the vulnerable. According to whom? Who dictates what should be done, and what shouldn't? Where did you get that clause from "society should protect the weak and the vulnerable".it seems you are still in a dream. You don't seem to understand that women in the west are not one of the vulnerable ones. In fact, they are the predators in that part of the world. If they don't take men will soon become an endangered species. . The socio-economic environment created based on the assumption that women are vulnerable is fast working in favour of women. It's sad especially because that assumption is not necessarily the case anymore.

Sterope:
Do you realise that once upon a time in the Western world, they used to treat women the same if not worse like we are doing?

Our laws and cultures are abckwards because they do not respect and recognise the autonomy of women.

Western laws do not empower women to chase out men. It empowers women against abusive partners. Unfortunately, sometimes it has led to the abuse of the system by women but still, women are still getting murdered. Until the law finds a way of balancing that, we are still stuck. However it is better than our society that relish in mistreating women all because they have got vaginas

benji93:
The society should protect the weak and the vulnerable. According to whom? Who dictates what should be done, and what shouldn't? Where did you get that clause from "society should protect the weak and the vulnerable".it seems you are still in a dream. You don't seem to understand that women in the west are not one of the vulnerable ones. In fact, they are the predators in that part of the world. If they don't take men will soon become an endangered species. . The socio-economic environment created based on the assumption that women are vulnerable is fast working in favour of women. It's sad especially because that assumption is not necessarily the case anymore.

Sterope:
Do you realise that once upon a time in the Western world, they used to treat women the same if not worse like we are doing?

Our laws and cultures are abckwards because they do not respect and recognise the autonomy of women.

Western laws do not empower women to chase out men. It empowers women against abusive partners. Unfortunately, sometimes it has led to the abuse of the system by women but still, women are still getting murdered. Until the law finds a way of balancing that, we are still stuck. However it is better than our society that relish in mistreating women all because they have got vaginas

abbey621:
Y'all ned to chill out with these scare tactics. I've been married to my wife for 5 years now in this America and she still cooks, serves me food and even water to wash hands. It's all about what you have to offer and how well trained your wife is. Any woman abroad or at home that feels such is beneath them can go to hell, yes in the USA women reign supreme but there are ways to be diplomatic yet be in charge. Give a woman access to bank accounts, let her control the shopping in the household, maintain your sexual prowness and continue to bring in good income and I emphatically tell you as a man you can get away with almost anything. Let her think she's driving the ship, for example, give her access to your bank accounts and credit cards but keep certain accounts private for rainy days. This is America , most people have 4 or more accounts. Get life insurance and investments list her and the children as beneficiaries, this kind thing will sweet her die. Encourage her, build her up, let her have a career. In short let her win the many numerous little battles while you win the war. As time goes on, you'll realize you've gotten her to do exactly what you wanted without force...This is how real men in America operate....BE PREPARED FOR THE WORSE WHILE HOPING FOR THE BEST, SEE IT AS A BUSINESS ARRANGEMENT, EVERYONE MUST DO HIS OR HER PART!

Eniolakiite:
My view is many Africans don’t have a good cultural identity.

We move to Germany, we behave like them. We move to UK, we behave like them immediately. We move to US, France...and so on and we keep behaving like them. It’s unfortunate.
I see Indian men and women who immigrated here who still act their values and culture irrespective of how much dollars they earn or where they work.

But Africans, immediately they cross that Atlantic ocean like this, we change everything and no originality again. It’s unfortunate.

Stop changing your real self because of change of location.

pDudd:
First tip: Leave that your native brain in Nigeria.

If you're the kind of man that will sit on the sofa and be watching UEFA champions league and be telling a woman that she should go and cook, serve you, bring you water to drink and wash hand, you are in for a rude shock. Nigerian women in US have opened eye now o. They are not going to serve you like master and servant while your stretch your legs on sofa and be watching football.

If your mother did that for your father, please go and marry your mother so she too can come and be serving you like a king. Nigerian women ain't doing that for you.

Before you leave Nigeria, better learn how to cook, clean house, do laundry, go to buy groceries, take care of kids, and learn humility.

Learning humility is of utmost importance because the day you step your feet into America, you are now second to every woman. The American society favors women over men. They placea lot of value over men. So if you didn't respect women in Nigeria, you may need to reconsider that stance. And if you can't see yourself having a woman above you or respecting women, then better stay in Nigeria.



Next tip: All you old men that have spent 20 years following Akata and are now looking for unmarriedd younger girls in Nigeria who you want to turn into RNs and use her as your ATM, believing that she is a "good girl" and that she will be a good obedient wife, who will be at your beck and call.

You guys are looking for to go to an early grave and lose everything you have worked for since the 20 years you've been in Yankee. I implore you, please stop doing that nonsense.

There is nothing like a humble Nigerian girl. The ones that appear humble are just broke. The day money enters her hand is the day you will know her true colors. Now in US, you will find an elderly guy in his late 40s or 50s. They came to US in their 20s and hustled Akata for paper, and thereafter became legal. Instead of going to school, gain an education, and improve their standard of living, they take up security guard jobs, CNA jobs, and taxi driver jobs. They spend gruelling years doing these low paying jobs and saving pennies to eventually go to Nigeria and do big wedding and marry a small naive village girl, thinking that they are investing in her so that she will yield fruits and serve him in his old age.

Notice that Nigerian men are always looking for women to serve them cheesy

Well, these small naive girls come to US, go to nursing school, become LVNs or RNs. They then begin to make lots of money and they will begin to open eye grin

Lefulefu come and back me up here.


Those small, naive, village girls suddenly begin making about $3500 or more every 2 weeks. Back in Nigeria, they weren't even making 3500 naira every month. This kind of money blows their minds and they don't even know how to spend it anymore. The man who is her husband and invested in her now wants to control the money and keep her in a subservient position.

At that point in time, that is when the girls father in the village knows that he wants to receive chieftaincy title. Also that is the time the mother knows that she wants to become Lolo of NdiOhia. . That is also when the girls brother wants to open spare parts shop in Alaba. That is the time when the girls sister wants to get married. The entire family of the girl begins to pester her for money. Also at this same time, the girls husband wants to start to build block of flats in Nnewi. Also he feels that he is old enough to receive chieftaincy title in his village as well. All these things costs lots of money.

The pressure on the poor girls starts mounting. She has one or two kids at this point but she starts to work extra hours and overtime at work. Putting in a lot of exhausting energy into trying to fulfil the dreams of everyone. Instead of the husband to understand, he is not sympathetic to her. After all she is his investment and she better yield fruits. She begins to burn out slowly but surely. She needs support at home but the husband expects her to work for 12 to 13 hours, come home, prepare eba and ogbono soup for him, take care of the kids, and then open toto for him to Bleep cheesy. Tomorrow again it is back to the same routine up to 7 days a week.

One day all the pressure gets too much and then the bubble pops. The woman, under intense financial pressure from her extended family coupled with her unsupportive husband and work-family life, crumbles under it all. And what usually kicks it off? Money of course. Or the lack thereof.

The man, wanting to control the finances of the woman, starts a quarrel about how much he invested to bring her to America. Because of all the stress upon the woman and women being very emotional creatures, she snaps. She insults the husband with the greatest insult of his life. She neglects all he has done and acts on emotion. The man too, unable to stomach the insult, verbally and physically attacks the woman.

Now it always ends in 2 ways. If the woman is still alive after the physical attack, she calls the police and they arrest him for domestic violence. She files a restraining order against him and he cannot return back to the house he bought and the home he built.

The second way it ends is that the man attacks his wife and kills her with his security guard job service pistol or he strangles or stabs her to death with a kitchen knife.

In both cases, the police arrive and arrest the man. And then the family breaks up and most times can not be rebuilt anymore. It becomes a broken home with shatters dreams.

wany:
Are you implying the Nigerian men should act their egotistical nature there known for their persona.girl there is america not 9ja it won't work.talking down and treating a woman less works here not there.

Ishilove:
This is very amusing, and a tad exaggerated.

lefulefu:
lol its better yu just marry the devil u know than to be going back to naija looking for a bride.many yankee based naija guys who went home looking for homebase wife to bring to US have sorry tales to tell.if u still insist on marrying homebase just marry her and keep her in nigeria and be sending monthly upkeep then visit her during easter and christmas....but there chances she will codedly have a lover while u over there cos she go need man to warm her bed during the cold lonely nights.

oshaosha2014:
You are stupid for telling a man to go and marry his mother. I see nothing wrong with the way Nigerian men were brought to be the man and be in control of their relationships. Real men don’t do that 50/50 shit. It is better for a man to just be on his own than deal with any useless lady who thinks she can’t serve a man. Your place as a woman is to serve your man.

InvertedHammer:
/
Don't say that.

Some people have to be used as reference points from which others will learn. The folks going back to Nigeria to marry? The fantasy rarely lasts long.

I love to watch train wreck.

\

lefulefu:
its their system that messes up marriage.Its like the system encourages women to seperate and divorce.Sometimes a woman can just be bored with the marriage and tells the man she wants a divorce and the courts will start forcing to pay alimony and other expenses even if he"s dead broke.

pansophist:
All those female teachers walking freely after caught sexually violating minors, or the wrist-slap women get when they kill their kids? perhaps, the status of women is really strong in the USA, that a man will never be treated the same way the legal system treats women. And even more surprisingly, the women there believe they are oppressed.

pDudd:
Next tip: Leave that your yeye pride and big boyism in Nigeria. Don't bring that to US.

If you come to US thinking that you will be doing big boy and cruising big Benz, hanging with the boys, and clubbing while your partner is working hard and putting food on the table, think again. That nonsense isn't flying here.


You will become an ordinary faceless person in America. You will just be another black nigga with an African accent in America.

If you were a big boy in GTB or Access Bank, or Glo mobile, or Dangote company, or Mobil or Shell, or Chevron, that one na inside your pocket. This is America. You are a nobody here. That your big boyism ended the minute you entered that plane to come to US.

If you come to America and can't be living the big life that you were living in Nigeria, don't come and be harassing the woman by saying, "why did I even come to this America sef. But I was a big boy in Nigeria." That one was in Nigeria. You can always feel free to return back to you previous big boy life. America will humble you.

Eniolakiite:
Someone once said to a young girl “Go to America, women have choices in America”

As a woman, America and most developed countries will always put you first

In America, the woman owns the child 90%. She is considered before the man.
And you can’t get away with abusing or maltreating a woman. The system favors women here.

However women shouldn’t abuse this power. Use it accordingly.

Toks2008:
Satan always make them abuse it expecially if the guy is unlucky to have a good job. The lady will immediately pick a calculator to see how much she stands to get from the government as a single mum (Afterall she is technically one cos of lack of support from the guy)..
Once she sees the amount, the next thing is to tell the guy to move or she declares she is no longer with the guy... Case closed.

Toks2008:
Satan always makes them abuse it even if they never wanted to expecially if the guy is unlucky to have a good job. The lady will immediately pick a calculator to see how much she stands to get from the government as a single mum (Afterall she is technically one cos of lack of support from the guy)..
Once she sees the amount, the next thing is to tell the guy to move or she declares she is no longer with the guy... Case closed.

Blueelf:
Okay, another nice point.

This thread is a goldmine of invaluable info. Loving it!!

BabaJoe001:
This the best advise have seen so far. If only we can apply this here in Nigeria too, then their won't be failed marriage in Nigeria. The point is women want to be loved . Make your woman happy then she will treat you like a King. It's every where . Not only in America. 10 of my guys here in Nigeria that got marriage many years ago. 8 of them don break up. Only two are still in their marriages. And it's because the marriage still dey young. So let's all forget this bullshit. And treat your woman right. Whether you are in America, Nigeria, Germany or even your village. Marriage no easy I agree. Because two different people coming from different background may be difficult. But love, Understanding and consideration conquers all. God bless.

Toks2008:
First Nd foremost they hardly even marry in the real sense... They just form partners and anytime they feel they are no longer in love they throw you out of the house.

They make more money staying single than staying married so why do they need the men. They have crazy intimacy gadgets of various types to please them within minutes so what is the need of a guy with his wahala who may hardly satisfy them.

Guys who come home to marry usually regret cos once their wives get there they copy their ways and they even do it worse in most cases.

I have seen men in their 50s and 60s leaving their marriages to start living alone... It is in Africa that people still respect n crave for marriages... Out there it is baby mama n Daddy that is the norm where a lady may have 3kids for 3 different men n guys will have kids from different ladies... Ladies share men with dignity and the men sleep around like mad dogs. .

If Devil now helps you that you have a child with a jezebel you Don finish. Just start putting aside big money every month for the next 17years of your life as child support... Let me stop here abeg.

The devil has messed up the western world as regards marriage big time.

It will take the special grace of GOD for any man or woman to find purposeful marriage in the western world.

Kobojunkie:
How exactly do they abuse the system? If a woman no longer loves her husband because the reason she married him to begin with is no longer there, what is wrong with that?

topsquino:
My account number to a woman who is likely to leave your ass when you are financially handicapped ? Can't believe a man with BALLS typed this. Chai.. Simping has reached another level.

abbey621:
Y'all ned to chill out with these scare tactics. I've been married to my wife for 5 years now in this America and she still cooks, serves me food and even water to wash hands. It's all about what you have to offer and how well trained your wife is. Any woman abroad or at home that feels such is beneath them can go to hell, yes in the USA women reign supreme but there are ways to be diplomatic yet be in charge. Give a woman access to bank accounts, let her control the shopping in the household, maintain your sexual prowness and continue to bring in good income and I emphatically tell you as a man you can get away with almost anything. Let her think she's driving the ship, for example, give her access to your bank accounts and credit cards but keep certain accounts private for rainy days. This is America , most people have 4 or more accounts. Get life insurance and investments list her and the children as beneficiaries, this kind thing will sweet her die. Encourage her, build her up, let her have a career. In short let her win the many numerous little battles while you win the war. As time goes on, you'll realize you've gotten her to do exactly what you wanted without force...This is how real men in America operate....BE PREPARED FOR THE WORSE WHILE HOPING FOR THE BEST, SEE IT AS A BUSINESS ARRANGEMENT, EVERYONE MUST DO HIS OR HER PART!

Toks2008:
[b]Marriage is not about feelings. [/b]If our parents run out cos of the reason you just stated many of us won't be in existence.

wany:
Hmmmm I always laugh my heart out in sympathy when I see older guys going for younger women .the sad truth is the younger woman also wants a younger man,but because they are broke they relax and settle for older men,and when fix they move to their heart desire and those that refuse to move because of financial security,cheat with some one of their age bracket.but it is difficult for an African man,most especially Nigerian men to accept this home truth,you always hear them say men marry down.pray this marrying down does not lead to early 6feet.