OP please keep your two left legs where they are. I don’t even know why she still speaks to you.

Forcefully collect your child ko

Amanee:


You didn't want a child with her in the first place so what's the fuss? Your ex will decide if she wants to come clean or not, don't force her hand or emotionally blackmail her.

The first pregnancy came at the down I was down, I was having problems in school as I was about to be rusticated for leading a revolt and I'm having a bad time with my mum so the pregnancy news just caged me and I was powerless.
Thanks for your input, God bless.

cococandy:
OP please keep your two left legs where they are. I don’t even know why she still speaks to you.

Forcefully collect your child ko

I appreciate your inputs ma, thanks.

The lady is the person who needs advice in this case. Not you.

cococandy:
The lady is the person who needs advice in this case. Not you.

I will be a very wicked fellow if I ruin her marriage, she's a very good woman so my intentions to claim the daughter will be mutual.
I just don't want a situation whereby in the future the girl will think I abandon her.
There was a time I traveled down south and I called her to meet but she plainly told me she can't that she's scared that we may be entangle sexually so I believe she's weak when it come to her setting her eyes on me despite assuring her nothing of such will happen as I'm in a commited relationship.
So seeing her now is kind of complex.

Climatology100:

Arrrghhh, the move on I meant in that context is that not that I want to take her from her husband, far from it.
Had it be she's single, come on, I wíll go for her, I'm talking of someone I dated from secondary school days here, someone who supported me financially when I'm school, someone who is ready to do anything for me.
I traveled out of the country through her efforts.
Do you think it's easy spending for other ladies apart from her, buying expensive stuffs for them when I know someone is the bedrock of the riches? My heart sink but she's married and that's all there's nothing I can do.
I really appreciate your inputs, thanks so much.

What do you expect from the poor girl??

to wait for a guy that didn't give anything strong to hope on. I understand her actions as much as I understand the fact that she's ahead of you financially and you wanted to meet up.

You didn't just take a prudent step
pls, if you love her as you have claimed , don't spoil her marriage

What exactly are you scheming to reclaim? The crap of missing contact with her is sheer balderdash, because you knowing avoided her. In my opinion, I think the lady is very wise, since you don't seem to have a reasonable plan for her. It is very clear that the lady had studied you and was able to manage the situation properly. Just keep importuning her to reveal the paternity of the child to you, since your carefree attitude has placed you in a disadvantaged position.

In any case, donating semen alone for the emergence of a child does not confer the role of a father to you. You didn't marry her, never involved during the duration of the pregnancy, so you have limited power to stake a claim now. In my culture, fathering a child goes beyond the donation of sperm. If anything, sperm is cheap. I mean very cheap.

sanesta:
What do you expect from the poor girl??

to wait for a guy that didn't give anything strong to hope on. I understand her actions as much as I understand the fact that she's ahead of you financially and you want to meet up.

You didn't just take a prudent step
pls, if you love her as you have claimed , don't spoil her marriage

Thanks I appreciate, just Erukaye101 has typed, I think it's 50-50 but with the advices here, I have resolve not to do anything forcefully, it will be mutual but I'm only scared in future the girl won't have the notion that I abandon her.
Funny enough, she named her after my mother, this she told me during our numerous emotional calls.
When the girl marked her 5th birthday, my ex called me that I should sent something to the girl, initially I want to send cash but she insisted that it must be a material thing that she will grow old to adore, so I sent her a neck chain and hand bangles with her name customized on it.

mrblessed:
What exactly are you scheming to reclaim? The crap of missing contact with her is sheer balderdash, because you knowing avoided her. In my opinion, I think the lady is very wise, since you don't seem to have a reasonable plan for her. It is very clear that the lady had studied you and was able to manage the situation properly. Just keep importuning her to reveal the paternity of the child to you, since your carefree attitude has placed you in a disadvantaged position.

In any case, donating semen alone for the emergence of a child does not confer the role of a father to you. You didn't marry her, never involved during the duration of the pregnancy, so you have limited power to stake a claim now. In my culture, fathering a child goes beyond the donation of sperm. If anything, sperm is cheap. I mean very cheap.

Thanks for your input sir, I appreciate.

Climatology100:

Hmmm, thanks bro for your input.
My service year was the defining year in my life, I have spent majority of my life with people I know so I need a change in environment as I was pleased to be posted to core northern state far from home.
I only wrote down the date we had sex not just for that day but for every sex we had, protected or not so it's not a planned stuff.
I messed up, I really do but I'm alive and capable to take care of the girl so it hurt me everytime I reason that someone else is taking care of her.

You haven't answered the question yet, why writing down the date you had sex with a girl? what does it meant for? you're being taught by your dad or what?

That man she's married to who has not done a DNA test in the past 5yrs, is actually the only stvpid person here.
You have all the power at your disposal should you decide to cause problems in her marriage, and her innocent husband will be the only victim.

As some of these men have decided to let puccy erode their sense of self-preservation, they will keep becoming fathers to children of other men.

cococandy:
OP please keep your two left legs where they are. I don’t even know why she still speaks to you.

Forcefully collect your child ko

Exactly, don't know why she's still in touch with him. Abeg leave that lady to enjoy her marriage in peace and continue your jotting down skills.

Climatology100:
I created a new moniker just to conceal my identity as I'm very frequent on travel and Autos sections.
I'm worried and I need advice on the next step to take.
I dated my ex right from our secondary school days, I was in JS3 while she was in JS2 and our relationship span till I finished my studies in university level though she couldn't proceed to the Uni as she insisted on doing business, she was so successful in her business that she built her own house before she attain the age of 26 albeit in my name(This I found out later while using her laptop as she later admit to it)
Things were moving good and steady between us, my parents and siblings know her as she often came over to my parents house, I met with his father once and the respect was mutual.
All this while, we never engage in sex until my third year in Uni, she's who she said she is, A virgin as I disflowered her then but things went side ways between us when I was elected as the president of one of the associations in school, she created this sense of imaginary rivals in every ladies she saw with me despite assuring her I'm not cheating on her.
In the year 2014,she became pregnant while I was in 400level though I told her I'm not ready for pregnancy as my head was full with so many things then, my CGPA dropped, having issues with my mother as everything was just not positive at that moment as I need to clear my head and pregnancy issue is just not what I need.Well, she told me she will keep it and take care of all the bills involved but I kept a distance from her and virtually from everyone back then.
My Dad eventually found out and he called and assured her of his support but she had a miscarriage when she was 7months into it, believe me as I was totally devastated when she called me around 1am to tell me as I and my Dad supported her in every ways possible, I stayed with her for 2weeks before I traveled back home(we lived in different state)
2months before I went for my service year, we had an unprotected sex and it was so emotional that I know there's more to it but I couldn't just concentrate when she asked me if I'm ready for marriage, I simply told her "I'm going for my service, I will be back for you" I never knew she read a lot of meanings to my statement.
I have one crazy idea of writing down the dates if I have sex with ladies(This I learnt from my Dad) during my service year, I lost contact with her as all efforts to trace her wasn't forthcoming but I received the shocker of my life when her sister posted her wedding pictures on Instagram( I haven't meet her as she too don't know how I look like as I don't do pictures, I have a phobia for taking shots with camera but we do communicate on phone)
The following month, another pictures on FB aibelt a new account by my ex thanking God for safe delivery of her baby girl,i quickly contacted her and we exchanged contacts but I asked her why the sudden development, her response was shocking, she told me "She can't wait for me as she's not educated but I'm, that I'm ladies man and she can't do rivals".
2years pass and I stumble on the baby girl pictures on FB and the resemblance is just out of the world, I quickly checked my diary and it correspond with the month she was born as in the date we had sex to her month of delivery, I contacted her to verify but she kept mute but on our consecutive discussions she always plead with me not to speak about it, she never deny nor agree to it.
I screenshots the pictures of the baby girl to my sister as I plan to travel down south to do DNA and if possible take responsibility of her but she told me to let her be that the right thing will be done at the right time by my ex.
Lately, I have being having a series of dreams as I keep seeing the girl trying to extend her hands to me but there's this barrier between us.
I called my ex yesterday to plead to her to tell me if I'm the father of the girl but she still repeat the same thing, pleading to me to let her go and not to talk about the girl, she even told me the girl is what keep her going emotionally everytime she think about me.
She's 5years now and everytime I see her pictures on FB or Instagram I always see myself in her.
Should I let her be without playing my role in her life or should I act with force to reclaim her?
Advice and Insults are allow.

Mr Man kindly move on with your life. Why do u wanna spoil her home with ur jargon? Imagine! Force to reclaim her? Pls face ur life

Go for your daughter, you will be doing the right thing, don't let them judge you here as if they are perfect!! Most of them here have done worst than what you wrote up here. She's your seed and she will forever remain

Even me sef dey speechless for this matter. Let me wait for others to come

Just let her be you’re ruining her peace .. always stay in touch but never go physically to claim the child you could visit or something but don’t claim the child .. Marry the one you have now and get a child for yourself.

Mr, You have to apply wisdom here.

Firstly, you will have to do DNA without the knowledge of the man, don't do it forcefully please, the Husband must not know.(your Ex cooperation comes to play here) without her cooperation am afraid it won't be easy.

Then, if the result came as expected, GO for your daughter.

She's your fvcking kid(that's if the DNA says), go for her.

You're not only doing the right thing for yourself, but the innocent husband (you're doing his a*s a favour)

KEYWORDS : Do the DNA without the husband's knowledge.

Use your common sense man.

Hmmmm...you ditched her and she ditched you. Please leave her alone! Even if you are the donor sperm, you aren't the father.


Whew!

Oladayo12:
You haven't answered the question yet, why writing down the date you had sex with a girl? what does it meant for? you're being taught by your dad or what?

Funny, whatever I write/wrote is my business and it doesn't mean it's about sex alone, I write virtually everything on a note as it's part of the lesson I learnt from my old man and it has worked and will continue to work for me.
Lemme tell you few of the lessons:

My old man often tell us the male child back then, even if you have attain the highest qualifications, learn a vocational work.

When you're working as a salary earner, divide your salary into four parts for your own sake.
A) Save
B) Eat whatever you like with it, it's your money.
C) Use it to buy good clothes/wears, you work for it.
D) Use it to treat yourself by buying medicine to improve your body immune.

I'm blessed to have listen and adhere to his advices as I never question his judgment.

Ohhh, Oladayo? I think their is an adage in your beautiful dialect that says "Ohùn tí Àgbàlagbà rí lórí ijoko, tí ọmọde bá gùn igi ojú rẹ ó ní tó"

Pardon my proverbs as I'm not that good in that dialect but nevertheless I appreciate your inputs.

sisisioge:
Hmmmm...you ditched her and she ditched you. Please leave her alone! Even if you are the donor sperm, you aren't the father.


Whew!

Thanks, I appreciate ma.

Genoa:
Mr, You have to apply wisdom here.

Firstly, you will have to do DNA without the knowledge of the man, don't do it forcefully please, the Husband must not know.(your Ex cooperation comes to play here) without her cooperation am afraid it won't be easy.

Then, if the result came as expected, GO for your daughter.

She's your fvcking kid(that's if the DNA says), go for her.

You're not only doing the right thing for yourself, but the innocent husband (you're doing his a*s a favour)

KEYWORD : Do the DNA without the husband's knowledge.

Use your common sense man.

God bless you sir, I really appreciate.

paul1995:
Just let her be you’re ruining her peace .. always stay in touch but never go physically to claim the child you could visit or something but don’t claim the child .. Marry the one you have now and get a child for yourself.

Thanks sir, I appreciate.

FanOfMyself:
Go for your daughter, you will be doing the right thing, don't let them judge you here as if they are perfect!! Most of them here have done worst than what you wrote up here. She's your seed and she will forever remain

Hmmmm, thank you sir for your input, God bless.

SweetCunt97:
Mr Man kindly move on with your life. Why do u wanna spoil her home with ur jargon? Imagine! Force to reclaim her? Pls face ur life

Thanks maam for your input, I appreciate.

This doesn't sound like a case of paternity fraud to me.
Sounds like her husband married her knowing she's a single mother.
If it was she'd avoid anything to do with you at all.

Harshreality:
This doesn't sound like a case of paternity fraud to me.
Sounds like her husband married her knowing she's a single mother.
If it was she'd avoid anything to do with you at all.

Thank you for this, I know my ex very well, we've be together right from our innocent age.
There was a time she called me around 10pm, I was shocked as I couldn't pick her calls so I called her back afternoon the second day as I told her she shouldn't call me at that wee hours because of herself and marriage.
She told me I shouldn't worry about that, that she's free to call me anytime she like irrespective if her husband is aware or not.
I think she's the one calling the shots in the union.

Climatology100:

Thank you for this, I know my ex very well, we've be together right from our innocent age.
There was a time she called me around 10pm, I was shocked as I couldn't pick her calls so I called her back afternoon the second day as I told her she shouldn't call me at that wee hours because of herself and marriage.
She told me I shouldn't worry about that, that she's free to call me anytime she like irrespective if her husband is aware or not.
I think she's the one calling the shots in the union.

Looks like you are yet to get over the lady. I know this is pretty hard for you to do but you just have to move on bro.

Op, having gone through ur post, i deduced that ur action pushed the girl off balance after the first and 2nd pregnancy.

Pls don't claim u love/d her herein as u've stated. If there was any atom of love, no matter her excusses, u would've kept her after the miscarriage.

The lady found luv somewhere
having known that u weren't ready for her after u had an unprotect sex with her, decided to settle with her new found luv.
After getting to know she is married and posted the pix., of the baby, u now discovered the resemblance, you now want to claim the baby either by force or by any means.
Op, knowing fully well that u knowingly knew the current status of this lady u claim u love/d, and u have discussed with her and she opened up, why not allow her be for God's sake. Do u know that ur action could lead to the death of this lady or both(mother and child)? Why not go and marry and get ur own child/ren and allow this woman be? This table u're shaking might end up destroying u.

sisisioge:
Hmmmm...you ditched her and she ditched you. Please leave her alone! Even if you are the donor sperm, you aren't the father.


Whew!

Trash.

[quote author=Climatology100 post=89461099]
Funny, whatever I write/wrote is my business and it doesn't mean it's about sex alone, I write virtually everything on a note as it's part of the lesson I learnt from my old man and it has worked and will continue to work for me.
Lemme tell you few of the lessons:

My old man often tell us the male child back then, even if you have attain the highest qualifications, learn a vocational work.

When you're working as a salary earner, divide your salary into four parts for your own sake.
A) Save
B) Eat whatever you like with it, it's your money.
C) Use it to buy good clothes/wears, you work for it.
D) Use it to treat yourself by buying medicine to improve your body immune.

I'm blessed to have listen and adhere to his advices as I never question his t. Bro sincerely speaking i know your type. Anyway, Let me don't futher drag this issue too far, but i'm glad you've gotten what you want from jotting down the sex date. pls kindly let her be. Thanks.

ecolime:

Looks like you are yet to get over the lady. I know this is pretty hard for you to do but you just have to move on bro.

I move on bro, I only keep her at arm length because of the girl.
Thanks bro for your input.

andyanders:
Op, having gone through ur post, i deduced that ur action pushed the girl off balance after the first and 2nd pregnancy.

Pls don't claim u love/d her herein as u've stated. If there was any atom of love, no matter her excusses, u would've kept her after the miscarriage.

The lady found luv somewhere
having known that u weren't ready for her after u had an unprotect sex with her, decided to settle with her new found luv.
After getting to know she is married and posted the pix., of the baby, u now discovered the resemblance, you now want to claim the baby either by force or by any means.
Op, knowing fully well that u knowingly knew the current status of this lady u claim u love/d, and u have discussed with her and she opened up, why not allow her be for God's sake. Do u know that ur action could lead to the death of this lady or both(mother and child)? Why not go and marry and get ur own child/ren and allow this woman be? This table u're shaking might end up destroying u.

I messed things up but I never leave her alone when the miscarriage happened, I stayed with her for some time.
Death of mother and child? No No, that's too huge, God forbid bad thing.
Thanks for your input, I appreciate.