₦airaland Forum

Vikky1425:
Why should I create a cooked up thread? Because I want to entertain you or what? What is the big deal in washing his hands in the wash hand basin right beside him and also getting water from dispenser without having to stand up sef, because its that close.
And if he feels it is my DUTY as a woman, not because of anything but because it's my duty why cant he wait to tell me in private rather than using me to catch feelings in front of his friend.
I entered the kitchen sweating and didnt even sit for one minute before entering the kitchen. He didnt help with anything, I did it myself just to wash his hands and drink water he cannot do. I'd have done it if it required him going about but it was right beside him. That to me is not being nice at all. I used 'disturbing me' because he kept asking me to come earlier than we both agreed, cos him and his friend are really hungry from eating bread last night.

igbowoman:
That man only needs a cook.Isnt this obvious to you yet?.I hope you havent been dickmatized yet.You dont need a face to face break up with this one before he wounds you .If you have your bathroom slippers or clothing there just go and collect it discreetly,go back to your place and send him a short text ,no long grammar.

" Hello Ofiafuluagu, this will not work out between us.It's been nice knowing you these 4 weeks.Take care and God bless".
Sincerely,
Vikky

Raeheemwayne:
...
I think the issue here is - Understanding - You two don't understand each other lifestyle. He might have said that infront of his friends to showoff - yes - very common with guys; it's not pride, it's self-esteem.
My cousin do same to his babe almost every time but she have never for once complained rather she'll smile and apologize.
I can swear this two love eachother unconditional.
Nevertheless, I think you should have a pillow chat with him about the issue if you don't like it, then watch how he'll react to it.

NB: If you really value ya relationship with him. don't let this be an issue.
Thanks.

SweetCunt97:
Hope he atleast gives you money for upkeep for him to open his mouth to spill such sha. Personally I can't even b with such traditional man. If I notice you traditional, na jakpa things. Nonsense and ingredients.

crackland:
But a traditional man will not need you to share bills or contribute financially na.

Think about your japa again oo, cos we know how much you hate to contribute money in relationships.

crackland:
But a traditional man will not need you to share bills or contribute financially na.

Think about your japa again oo, cos we know how much you hate to contribute money in relationships.

igbowoman:
Your cousin is a narcissistic tyrant and you have a twisted definition of love.Love does not himiliate

Vikky1425:
I just created this account. I'm at my boyfriend's house and I'm bored. His family member called and he asked me to wait for him.
I promised to come and make him vegetable soup today, since morning hes been disturbing me to come because his friend is also around. I sha got there sweating because of the heat and entered kitchen immediately.
I made the vegetable soup and swallow. He said the soup is delicious, after which I served him and his frnd. It is me that took his friends food to dinning table o. I went to sitting room which is just like right from the dinning. In front of his friend he started asking why I couldn't bring them water to wash their hands and also put water inside cup for them to drink.
It's annoying to me because washand basin is right in the dinning and also a water dispenser in the dinning, glass cups are also there so why cant he do that? Knowing well I've been preparing the food. Just that one he cannot do.
After eating he said "it's nice that you can cook, but you're a woman it's your duty to put water for washing hands and to drink, what if any of my family member or my mum is around?"
There was a time he talked about visiting his mum and how I would be the one cooking, that's not a big deal to me as long as am not reduced to the maid.
This is my second visit to his house, the first time I cooked too.
Am still angry anyways. Traditional man in this modern world, he wants to enjoy wife benefit without acting like a husband.
Update; I have told him about it and he says "me that says you should serve us water dont I know the water is beside us?" I asked him why he had to even do that in front of his friend and he said "it's no big deal, I should have still come to serve it too" kept insisting on how it's my duty and him not a believer of division of labour. He then said "I wont take that from you next time"
So now he just told me he'd invite all his friends over soon and have me cook for them all
My ranting goes beyond serving water or not
The relationship is barely one month

Jullima:
It’s very shitty to gain your self-esteem at the expense of someone else’s humiliation. Your cousin’s babe is likely pretending to have no issues with it, [/b]what will she do? Talk back and create a scene? No human being will like to be berated in the presence of people.

Obingene:
Not all bullet you can dodge

Vikky1425:
I just created this account. I'm at my boyfriend's house and I'm bored. His family member called and he asked me to wait for him.
I promised to come and make him vegetable soup today, since morning hes been disturbing me to come because his friend is also around. I sha got there sweating because of the heat and entered kitchen immediately.
I made the vegetable soup and swallow. He said the soup is delicious, after which I served him and his frnd. It is me that took his friends food to dinning table o. I went to sitting room which is just like right from the dinning. In front of his friend he started asking why I couldn't bring them water to wash their hands and also put water inside cup for them to drink.
It's annoying to me because washand basin is right in the dinning and also a water dispenser in the dinning, glass cups are also there so why cant he do that? Knowing well I've been preparing the food. Just that one he cannot do.
After eating he said "it's nice that you can cook, but you're a woman it's your duty to put water for washing hands and to drink, what if any of my family member or my mum is around?"
There was a time he talked about visiting his mum and how I would be the one cooking, that's not a big deal to me as long as am not reduced to the maid.
This is my second visit to his house, the first time I cooked too.
Am still angry anyways. Traditional man in this modern world, he wants to enjoy wife benefit without acting like a husband.
Update; I have told him about it and he says "me that says you should serve us water dont I know the water is beside us?" I asked him why he had to even do that in front of his friend and he said "it's no big deal, I should have still come to serve it too" kept insisting on how it's my duty and him not a believer of division of labour. He then said "I wont take that from you next time"
So now he just told me he'd invite all his friends over soon and have me cook for them all
My ranting goes beyond serving water or not
The relationship is barely one month

adanny01:
I agree he has some issues but you are not completely free from issues too.

At first, i presumed he was trying to show you off but it seems he a likes the traditional woman which clearly you are not willing to be.

Its simple, the relationship is not old to back out. Its better to deal with it now than later when he's got his hooks on you.

If he cannot come to your level and compromise his expectations and you are not willing to shift grounds, its a bad sign of things getting out of hand.

mrblessed:
It doesnt make sense that you can prepare food, serve it, and refuse to bring water along. It is only an insensitive person that will rush to open thread in a public forum that reveals her thoughtlessness. If you were to eat, won't you keep water handy while you eat? I see it an act disrespect to boyfriend's guest. What point are you trying to prove? That you did him a "favour" by cooking for his friend?

GHoJes:
what does "Ofiafulagu" means?

Vikky1234 you are just a free maid needed for necessary service. Just look out the job description before you, your job is to be taking care of him, friends and family and you are the least important of them all.

ednut1:
As usual you will still marry him and wail in future

igbowoman:
One month relationship and you are already a maid being commanded up and down.Na wa o.
Isn't this the time when the man should still be all over you wining and dining you?
You are already pounding yam and cooking like say na mama put job dem put u with proposal of future cooking assignment for his mother.
My dear this one na bad market
3rd grade okirika na im u buy
Run away fast.This will get worse and 100X worse in marriage

doitforyou:
Yes, no big deal in pouring water in their drinking cups but chastising you in front of his friend was tactless. Men that rebuke their SO in front of an audience do so to prove they’re in control of the relationship.

The telling you what your roles are as a woman, the use of his mother as a threat etc already gives you an idea of what kind of husband he will be, so it’s your choice.

To add, to avoid future disagreements you guys can follow a general etiquette. The one who cooks, sets the table and serves the food. The non cook clears the table and washes the dishes.

Jullima:
lol but she was also a visitor. It wasn’t her house and she came from her own house to cook. Remember, this was also just a month old relationship and her second visit to the boyfriend’s house. There is nothing wrong in serving water with the food, in fact that is more appropriate but to berate her in front of people like a child is a big NO. One month relationship?? Anyways, people treat you the way you allow them to.

Ybaby:
She is not his SO

The relationship is one month.

She is not supposed to be in that kitchen in the first place.

This is the stage where he is buying her meat pie and showing her he can look after her.

He is the farmer and she is the soil.
If the farmer does not sow a seed or invest a seed ... the soil cannot product anything for the farmer.

If the soil produces it will be weed.

It us called mother nature for a reason

I think it is best I leave NL family for some time because the amount of daftness is painful to watch.

Did you people fall down from the sky. Did no one imbibe some wisdom of how nature works in you.

OP you will end up hurting your self. That Narcissist will strip you of every self worth.

Many people will say this and that. Ask them if they pray their daughter is cooking for a man in a one month old relationship.

He should be wooing you at this stage.

Pick your self esteem up.... you are worthy of being wooed. God loves you.

I beg you girl..... work on your esteem pls

Vikky1425:
I just created this account. I'm at my boyfriend's house and I'm bored. His family member called and he asked me to wait for him.
I promised to come and make him vegetable soup today, since morning hes been disturbing me to come because his friend is also around. I sha got there sweating because of the heat and entered kitchen immediately.
I made the vegetable soup and swallow. He said the soup is delicious, after which I served him and his frnd. It is me that took his friends food to dinning table o. I went to sitting room which is just like right from the dinning. In front of his friend he started asking why I couldn't bring them water to wash their hands and also put water inside cup for them to drink.
It's annoying to me because washand basin is right in the dinning and also a water dispenser in the dinning, glass cups are also there so why cant he do that? Knowing well I've been preparing the food. Just that one he cannot do.
After eating he said "it's nice that you can cook, but you're a woman it's your duty to put water for washing hands and to drink, what if any of my family member or my mum is around?"
There was a time he talked about visiting his mum and how I would be the one cooking, that's not a big deal to me as long as am not reduced to the maid.
This is my second visit to his house, the first time I cooked too.
Am still angry anyways. Traditional man in this modern world, he wants to enjoy wife benefit without acting like a husband.
Update; I have told him about it and he says "me that says you should serve us water dont I know the water is beside us?" I asked him why he had to even do that in front of his friend and he said "it's no big deal, I should have still come to serve it too" kept insisting on how it's my duty and him not a believer of division of labour. He then said "I wont take that from you next time"
So now he just told me he'd invite all his friends over soon and have me cook for them all
My ranting goes beyond serving water or not
The relationship is barely one month

mrblessed:
It doesnt make sense that you can prepare food, serve it, and refuse to bring water along. It is only an insensitive person that will rush to open thread in a public forum that reveals her thoughtlessness. If you were to eat, won't you keep water handy while you eat? I see it an act disrespect to boyfriend's guest. What point are you trying to prove? That you did him a "favour" by cooking for his friend?

toyinsalammy:
I think u guys are going too fast, a relationship of just one month!!!

OK, let me just assume u guys are just getting to know each other, discuss ur grievances with him when he is back, tell him u don't enjoy bring reprimanded in front of a third party, be it his Mum, siblings, friends or anyone, set rules and boundaries in d relationship

Lastly, when serving food next time , no matter how close d water is, serve it with the dish, it's part of d prerequisite to a healthy meal

My 2cent

Vikky1425:
How am I thoughtless and insensitive? The relationship is slightly above 3 weeks and the only way he wants to prove love to me is to have me come to his place, cook for him and his friend(s), serve them and wash dishes, have sex if I agree to it and go back to my father's house. Please who is insensitive between the two of us? He hasn't done anything worthy to deserve the kind of services he is asking of me. He hasn't proven in anyway to be a potential husband material yet he wants 100% from me.
The least he could do that day was get the water himself, instead he decided to use me catch feelings in front of his friend two times!
I dont have a problem giving my 100% to a man that has done the same.

greenmonk:
She should have declined going to her boyfriend's to do the cooking.
We should learn what discipline is and hold on to our words.
Once you give your word to do anything follow it through.

Jullima:
The issue was never about the cooking, she doesn’t mind the cooking. The issue is his behaviour after.

tasceige:
He doesn't care!!!
All he sees is a property not a woman!!