₦airaland Forum

cezarman:
Good!
You should've left your parent's house as a 9year old na... why wait till 19

U get sense at all dis aboki

I've gone through the whole thread, and read every single comment, and the predominant one which is " stay with your mother".

I've made up my mind to stay though .
I'm not trying to make my mother the villain in a seemingly sob story to seek validation from strangers. like I said, I did not take my mother's money. I've told her I work and she knows I have such money in my account because I told her I'm saving up for a computer to continue what I've been doing, she knows and she told me its a good idea. But her sudden change is freakishly scary. maybe she thinks I stole her money to add to the one I have to get a computer. I don't really know. But before the missing money, she knows of my plans.

I just needed advice and guidance, because I'm impulsive and sometimes my emotions get the better of me. I won't form hard man, hard man.

some people accused me of being a thief, some accused me of being stingy and not humble. In all, I'll say thank you and to the ones that gave reasonable advice. I value it. still, Thank you.

and to the ones who didn't understand the post, please do read again and I hope you grasp this time around.

Beauty without Brain.

vanida6:
Shey no be u dey steal money why leave nah,,,if u leave dat means u re guilty,,,,infact why will a grown man like u been stayin in dsam place wit ur mum,,,just pay her 2k back nd find anoda place to enjoy ur life dear

queenitee:
Good morning, I've been fine and you?

I'll get back to literature section very soon, I've just been busy. Thank you.

My regards to everyone.

I know. Please take care of yourself.

u most forgive ur mother maybe she sees the money or not, secondly I can't advise u to move out

To me,I think these are some of the things that will make you up as a man and man of wisdom for that matter in the nearest future.It will also help to know what to look out for when looking for a life partner.This will also help you to save for the future.
I will advice you that you should not let it have a negative impact on you,look at the brighter side of the
situation and move on. Where do you want to stay that will not have a heavy financial toll on you.
To make peace with your mother try to contribute little financial support.At times you may give her some money to add to the purchasing of food or payments of bills such as PHCN.You may also from time recharge her mobile phone.With these contributions next time her money get missed she would not accuse you.
Some parents don't think of the implications their actions have on their children.May the Almighty God help us all.

naijaschoolguru:
Aboki shut up, shut up, you have been talking rubbish since. Ah den use am do you. Well no be lie when Yoruba people talk say " Hausa la Hausa nje, a ponle ni Mallam "

Lol, you funny i swear.

vanida6:
Shey no be u dey steal money why leave nah,,,if u leave dat means u re guilty,,,,infact why will a grown man like u been stayin in dsam place wit ur mum,,,just pay her 2k back nd find anoda place to enjoy ur life dear

.OH MINE, AT 31 MOST NIGERIANS IS STILL IN THERE FATHERS HOUSE ALMOST WITH THEIR WIFE AND KIDS. MUMU GIRL. IF I TALK NAH.DEY WILL SAY I HAVE TALKED. I UNDERSTAND RUNS GIRLS DONT STAY IN THEIR FATHERS HOUSE AND U HAPPEN TO BE ONE OF THEM. SPITS.

pedel:
Beauty without Brain.

. THATS HOW D OTHER ONE CALLED MHIZWISDOM DISGRACING HERSELF QUOTING ME. WHEN WE SAY SOME OF THESE GIRLS HAVE NO SENSES YOU PEOPLE WILL SAY, I HAVE TALKED. NOW LOOK AT WHAT THIS ONE IS SAYING. BROS, ABEG LEAVAM, BEAUTY WITHOUT BRAINS THATS WHAT THEY ARE.

miketayo:
Exactly
Most of them moved out for the wrong reasons(mostly for privacy with gf), zero real future plans, they r in debt all year, struggle to pay rent, eat once a day.
Barely surviving

Exactly bro, they come to nairaland to sprew jargons.

@OP FIND A WAY TO MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR MOM .ITS NOT YET TIME TO MOVE OUT FROM YOUR PARENTS HOUSE. OR ELSE YOU MAY SEE YOURSELF IN A BAND WAGON. E.G THIEVES, CULTISTS. BECAUSE THE NIGERIAN SOCIETY IS SOME EXTENT HARSH TO AN AVERAGE NIGERIAN YOUTH.

BlindedIrony:
Listen good man, it is not normal for adults to still live with their parents after 20 years old. I understand your situation due to Nigerian economic situation. However, in developed countries, kids leave their parents once they turn 18. In Igboland, young men who go into trading or learn a trade at a young age become independent from their parents around 20 years. I am Onitsha born and bred. So, it is not really an Oyibo thing.

That brings me to the reason why i decided to respond. Your mother is obviously tired of supporting you. This is her way of making you leave. Do not blame her. She is doing you a favor. If you actually think about it, you will see that she doesn't have the heart to kick you out as a mother. This is due to her love for you. However, she wants you to be able to chart your own way like some of the young men around the world who already have the skills necessary to support themselves (I'll come to the skills shortly). Some women are like that. They don't want to tell you upfront or face to face what they want, so they use subtle actions to tell you. Note: These are only done by women with poor communication skills. It seems it is a single parent household. DO NOT BLAME HER.

Now to the set of skills you possess. Good man, you are an adult now with a set of skills that are highly valued in today's society. You can design a website, write and afford to make an income currently. This is a tech trade skill. Use what you have right now to chart your course. I saw someone here advice you to wait until NYSC. No, do not do that. Comfort creates problems in the long run. Such problems include not having problem-dealing skill set when you are finally a graduate. You will find it extremely hard to survive out there even after NYSC. This is because you did not acquire the skills you should have acquired living alone or with roommates as a young man. There are ages a man has to learn a particular skill. Once you miss a certain skill in a particular age, it is hard to learn them later in life as an older man. I know as a young man that you are, you probably have a lot of time in your hands. Start a blog while working for the current job you have. Milk the hell out of the current skill set you have, so you can escape having your self-esteem crushed. Trust me, it takes longer to recover from a crushed self-esteem. You don't want to be that newly graduate guy in an office with little confidence.

Why am I telling you? Been there, done that. My situation was not like yours. I was constantly underestimated by everyone. I could not even express myself much because I live under my parents' roof. This was partly due to Igbo culture of respect, partly because my father has rights to the apt we used to live. I knew if I become a man in Nigeria (under my parents roof), I'd be messed up for life. And it will take me years to acquire the life skills necessary to succeed as a man. So at the age of 21 years while I was still studying at FUTO, I moved to the US after my immigrant visa got rejected 3 times. No one in my family or friend circles contributed a penny! I had nobody in the US- no friends, no family and nothing at all, but afew hundred dollars I saved from teaching JAMB students mathematics for 2 years. It was not easy. It took me a month to find a job, 4 months to make $11.25 per hour from the lowest wage ($7 per hour) I was making then. Fast-forward 6 years later, I have two degrees and I am making 3 times hat per hour. My parents live in a house I built for them... so many wonderful things have happened since I was 21. Both the good, the bad and the ugly. Has life been easy? Nay, life is not easy. However, I took my chance and I made it life bearable for me and the people around. I still take the chance every day as a late twenties man now. I wake up happily everyday knowing I carved an independent man out of a scared confused young man who was so afraid of the future. You- my man, are true definition of everything good in life. Arise and Become the captain of your ship!

Good luck.

NB: On a second thought, you could just be an attention-seeking victim-mentality good-for-nothing young man with social anxiety, crippling low self-esteem and Peter-pan syndrome. I come to this conclusion after coming across your other posts on your profile. One of your posts is repulsive. You definitely have a problem. I could be wrong. By God, I hope I am!

hmmmmmm my brother you can write,i need ur advice bro 25 in school,4th yr

Slynation:
You have spoken well.... Sometimes it's like people on this platform reason via their anus, telling a young boy with 19k in his account to leave his mother's house and get his own apartment... #Ike gwuru

God knows if i were to be an admin here, I will ban a lot of people for not having sense...

I swear down, no common sense

samicine:
Greetings one and all. I'll try to make my lamentation as short as possible.

My mother accused me of stealing her 2k, but I assure you, I didn't. The money got missing on Thursday night according to her and my 13 year old brother. I won't do such a thing, because the times are hard and the pandemic is fueling this hard times. I'm not lazy, I kind of work from home, I write for opera news hub and to some extent I get money from there, currently I have 19k in my account. I have no motive of taking her money, but she insists I took it, and is currently threatening to throw me out of the house.

This is not the first time such thing has happened. When I was still in secondary school, money got missing often and she'll blame me, beat me and starve me for stealing her money, but God helped me and the culprit was found, my other brother was caught, he is 18 now and doesn't stay with us anymore. He stays with my dad. She never apologized for what she did and the scars of that emotional and physical abuse still ripples across my body. But this time I'm not sure I will forgive her if the money is found. I'm planning on leaving home and starting my life somewhere, it's hard, it might just be my naivety speaking, but I need your advice.

The only skill I have is writing and web designing, which I'm almost getting good at. I just need help and guidance. I'm a 200level student and I major in psychology. I'll be 21 by November.

hi bro, I sent u a DM, pls reply pls

hahn:
He's a man. Why will men want to satisfy their lists with him?

Oh, I don't know. Even then, it is still safer to be home with mummy and avoid peer pressure that is capable of luring him into bad association. Other part of my suggestion are still applicable.

I understand your emotional feelings but the truth I must tell you is that you are on a path to success if you manage the situation properly. You are on University, 200 level, you shouldn't be living with your mom. You have two high demand skills, writing and graphics design, what are you crying about. Launch out on your own, be brave nand you will succeed.

Kylekent59:


You are a thief!!!!

You stole your mum's 2k and you still had the guts to post it here.
Why did you play Aja ere with it, stop paying visual with your mum's hard-earned money.

Bomb dey your head...

LeHMaR:
Me I don't understand oo... Wait for her to throw you out if she has the mind... She's probably just upset and doesn't mean any of those things she's saying, If you must refund her the 2k from your money... Make it clear to her that it's from your money.. All those people advicing you to leave the house on your own are talking rubbish... I'm a 22 years old male and even if I have over 120k in my account balance... I've never thought about leaving... Let her throw you out herself, because later she'll deny it oo

pls show me the way baba

vanida6:
Shey no be u dey steal money why leave nah,,,if u leave dat means u re guilty,,,,infact why will a grown man like u been stayin in dsam place wit ur mum,,,just pay her 2k back nd find anoda place to enjoy ur life dear

this your advice weigh like six months old baby

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yP-Ak7z6kf4

samicine:
Greetings one and all. I'll try to make my lamentation as short as possible.

My mother accused me of stealing her 2k, but I assure you, I didn't. The money got missing on Thursday night according to her and my 13 year old brother. I won't do such a thing, because the times are hard and the pandemic is fueling this hard times. I'm not lazy, I kind of work from home, I write for opera news hub and to some extent I get money from there, currently I have 19k in my account. I have no motive of taking her money, but she insists I took it, and is currently threatening to throw me out of the house.

This is not the first time such thing has happened. When I was still in secondary school, money got missing often and she'll blame me, beat me and starve me for stealing her money, but God helped me and the culprit was found, my other brother was caught, he is 18 now and doesn't stay with us anymore. He stays with my dad. She never apologized for what she did and the scars of that emotional and physical abuse still ripples across my body. But this time I'm not sure I will forgive her if the money is found. I'm planning on leaving home and starting my life somewhere, it's hard, it might just be my naivety speaking, but I need your advice.

The only skill I have is writing and web designing, which I'm almost getting good at. I just need help and guidance. I'm a 200level student and I major in psychology. I'll be 21 by November.

You didn't steal the money is all that matters and you are doing a legit job to support yourself caps it all up. I encourage youths that insists on staying on the right path despite the daunting challenges of life. Been broke, been from a poor home, having responsibilities and all is never enough reason to live a marlian'listic life like most of our youth does now.

Please contact me and ***************************** support your just cause.

Oluromantic:
21 is not too old to stay with his parent

After they'll say guys are bashing girls too much on this forum. Is there sense in what this one said now?

Even me as a lady I am surprise at her comment.

Born2Breed:
Ofcourse he didn't take it. We are talking about his mother not just a woman.

If my child comes to me like that, I will feel loved n also guilty for wrong accusation.

Nigerian women will always crave affection from any and every body.What happens to she the mother taking some responsibility for not creating a balanced father/mother family to raise upright kids due to her breakup from their father? Because if he didn't do it the 13year old did. Or the woman is plain forgetful.

samicine:
Greetings one and all. I'll try to make my lamentation as short as possible.

My mother accused me of stealing her 2k, but I assure you, I didn't. The money got missing on Thursday night according to her and my 13 year old brother. I won't do such a thing, because the times are hard and the pandemic is fueling this hard times. I'm not lazy, I kind of work from home, I write for opera news hub and to some extent I get money from there, currently I have 19k in my account. I have no motive of taking her money, but she insists I took it, and is currently threatening to throw me out of the house.

This is not the first time such thing has happened. When I was still in secondary school, money got missing often and she'll blame me, beat me and starve me for stealing her money, but God helped me and the culprit was found, my other brother was caught, he is 18 now and doesn't stay with us anymore. He stays with my dad. She never apologized for what she did and the scars of that emotional and physical abuse still ripples across my body. But this time I'm not sure I will forgive her if the money is found. I'm planning on leaving home and starting my life somewhere, it's hard, it might just be my naivety speaking, but I need your advice.

The only skill I have is writing and web designing, which I'm almost getting good at. I just need help and guidance. I'm a 200level student and I major in psychology. I'll be 21 by November.

Please teach me too, I want to be writing for opera news hub...

Davash222:
Let her threats always be a motivation for you to get your own apartment so you can move out.

These are one of the techniques African mothers use to ostracize the spirit of laziness in their sons. No too reason am.

God bless all mothers.

Mumu , if say na papa do this ...

Kylekent59:


You are a thief!!!!

You stole your mum's 2k and you still had the guts to post it here.
Why did you play Aja ere with it, stop paying visual with your mum's hard-earned money.

you are very sick bro...this is no play

vanida6:
Shey no be u dey steal money why leave nah,,,if u leave dat means u re guilty,,,,infact why will a grown man like u been stayin in dsam place wit ur mum,,,just pay her 2k back nd find anoda place to enjoy ur life dear

is there sense in what you have just typed... I would be so much right to say you are one of those who get their bills paid by the so called Y.a.h.o.o guys.

UA a psychologist in training I guess.... U need to build EQ, use Ur mum experience in life to build Ur future. Life is unpredictable. Clear Conscience Fears No Accusations, u av clear Ur sef b4 God and Man, move on in life. Stay with Ur mum and endure is better than hang out with friends or waste Ur 19k in unproductive venture. Just be careful and be transparent in Ur dealings in the house. I urge U to forgive her, Ur mother is Ur mother is not replaceable unlike bad wife. I love skills keep hustling, break through is near.

samicine:
Greetings one and all. I'll try to make my lamentation as short as possible.

My mother accused me of stealing her 2k, but I assure you, I didn't. The money got missing on Thursday night according to her and my 13 year old brother. I won't do such a thing, because the times are hard and the pandemic is fueling this hard times. I'm not lazy, I kind of work from home, I write for opera news hub and to some extent I get money from there, currently I have 19k in my account. I have no motive of taking her money, but she insists I took it, and is currently threatening to throw me out of the house.

This is not the first time such thing has happened. When I was still in secondary school, money got missing often and she'll blame me, beat me and starve me for stealing her money, but God helped me and the culprit was found, my other brother was caught, he is 18 now and doesn't stay with us anymore. He stays with my dad. She never apologized for what she did and the scars of that emotional and physical abuse still ripples across my body. But this time I'm not sure I will forgive her if the money is found. I'm planning on leaving home and starting my life somewhere, it's hard, it might just be my naivety speaking, but I need your advice.

The only skill I have is writing and web designing, which I'm almost getting good at. I just need help and guidance. I'm a 200level student and I major in psychology. I'll be 21 by November.

well done bro.... I so much love your spirit. I would advice that you keep pushing for now. you will always know the right time to leave her when the time comes. but right now, try to be calm and keep grinding. do you school in Ife ?

CuteYvonne777:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yP-Ak7z6kf4

And this one come be your problem for this CORONA?

dysfunctional families everywhere... under 20's living on their own in Nigeria.

If you started apprenticeship at 17, freedom will be around 22,tick tock, tick tock, become a master at 24.

If u attended uni, admission at 16,graduated 20/21/22, served for a year, tick tock tick tock, freedom from parents at 24.

If your parents didn't provide for u, they owe u an apology, don't birth children you can't care for, they become problem to society.

https://www.nairaland.com/5863062/armed-robbers-invade-home-abuja

I left my parents at 24,but they paid my first rent, gave me a million and that was bye bye, to your tent, oh harry. So to the op, please stay and finish school, they owe u that, after school, the govt pays u for a year and from there, to your tent oh op

Drop your number.



quote author=samicine post=89609006]Greetings one and all. I'll try to make my lamentation as short as possible.

My mother accused me of stealing her 2k, but I assure you, I didn't. The money got missing on Thursday night according to her and my 13 year old brother. I won't do such a thing, because the times are hard and the pandemic is fueling this hard times. I'm not lazy, I kind of work from home, I write for opera news hub and to some extent I get money from there, currently I have 19k in my account. I have no motive of taking her money, but she insists I took it, and is currently threatening to throw me out of the house.

This is not the first time such thing has happened. When I was still in secondary school, money got missing often and she'll blame me, beat me and starve me for stealing her money, but God helped me and the culprit was found, my other brother was caught, he is 18 now and doesn't stay with us anymore. He stays with my dad. She never apologized for what she did and the scars of that emotional and physical abuse still ripples across my body. But this time I'm not sure I will forgive her if the money is found. I'm planning on leaving home and starting my life somewhere, it's hard, it might just be my naivety speaking, but I need your advice.

The only skill I have is writing and web designing, which I'm almost getting good at. I just need help and guidance. I'm a 200level student and I major in psychology. I'll be 21 by November.[/quote]