OgaMadam:

I am privileged to have met someone like this in my life. There are men out there who can love you for you.
I know this for sure.

Yinmu as if u know d future

Sorry about that though... I set very high standards for myself and they affect others around me. In order not to make her bitter for life, I will never marry a single mother. Marrying her will just be out of pity and that's not good for her and me

TV01:

No, you are not right to tell her that, as for many men, the presence of a child/children is a no-no and disqualifies one as a potential spouse. And all things being equal, most men would prefer to marry women without children. FACT.

The good news is that if she - as an individual - has the character and deportment of a wife, she still has all to play for, especially given her age.


Nope, I couldn't and I didn't. Same goes for most men and even for those that don't mind, it's rarely a preference ATBE.

And when I advise men, I caution that, single mothers are best avoided.


Sophy, Sophy, Sophy, what planet do you live on . Hot cakes ko, stale bread ni. Hot "to wife" them? Please stop. At best it begs questions about the single moms you know - perhaps they are millionaires to boot - or the men that find them hot.

Having had a child from a previous relationship does not make women more attractive or desirable to men. For the vast majority of men it's a turn-off. Yes, there are some who may overlook it, a tiny few who can see beyond it and a statistically insignificant number who may be actually seeking it, but it's mostly a big turn-off for "wifing". COLD HARD FACT!


TV

^{**however, it presents no such problem for men . Life is so unfair**}

you are right about 15 years ago but wrong now. my cousin a self made guy with very ok looks is marrying one by easter, bros try to learn how things are changing around you. for instance do you believe i avoided more than 3 opportunities of deflowering a virgin in the past? I avoid virgins like plaque and many experienced guys are towing this line incase you don't know

Joy1706:

Speak for urself my darling! I can't go for a single dad for anything in this world abeg. My choice! Can't deal with their baggage

i am a living witness and right now am dating a lady that has a daughter and its where I just realise wher my happiness lies , please dont criticise my judgment and dont even think I have been bewitched too. Its a matter of choice and am pretty aware its really akward but thats my simple life to you friends.

olagbemi118:
Sorry about that though... I set very high standards for myself and they affect others around me. In order not to make her bitter for life, I will never marry a single mother. Marrying her will just be out of pity and that's not good for her and me

Thats a good point and thanks you said its part of your standards but the pure fact is that most single women are far better of these young ladies you meet here and there and mostly we need to know that ones philosophy in life is another mans hates

Let's call a spade a spade.
To date a single mum or single dad is not a problem for most people but where the problem lies is. Marrying one, especially single mums to a guy who is just starting life, is a no no. Single mum's work well with single dads.. And single mum works well with a guy who knows he can never kids of his own due to no sperm at all.. There are men who cannot have kids, no. Matter how hard they try.. Such men will gladly marry a. Single mum and be father to her kids, likewise single dads too.

Our society is so. Messed up, that even your friends, neighbors will be advising you as a lady, hmm u know time is going, why not have a kid of your own?? At least u can afford to take of a baby.. As if children are commodities one goes to the market, buy and start taking care of.. Most children from single parents crave the love and attention of either a mum or dad, depending which one is available for now, in such child's life.

I can never be a single mum either by mistake or doing it knowingly, I will never trade that path.. Sorry single mums but it's true.
Have seen first hand emotional depression most children from single homes go thru.. Trust me, my future kids won't tow that line.
So it's about choices.

.

zionx:


The Op asked this question in 2014 but was forced to comment cos of the above. You have made a good point but I dont support what you said above. Have you forgotten that widows, widowers with children are also single mum/dad. Did they actually knowingly traded that path? No. So pls just remember that not all single mums/dad are cases of divorce or being in a broken relationship. I am an example, My husband passed on few months ago and, will you say I knowingly traded the path? I am a single mum now but it was not by my choice. Yes, some are single mums by choice but NOT ALL. It is good to make plans, but remember that sometimes things dont go the way we plan or expect.

Madam, good afternoon, I thought about you yesterday o and I was about asking of u on the newborn thread. How are you ma? Hope our baby is doing fine. Glad to see that you are moving ahead.

..

Different strokes for different folks.

zionx:


Thanks for always keeping me in mind Ma. We are doing fine. May the Lord always remember you and your family for good Ma.

May God continue to give you strength. May He perfect all that concerns you and heal your wounds. It's well ma'am.

Knowing what I know today, being a single mother will not be a serious concern for me in marrying one. I may consider the influence it will have on our union, but it can never be a deciding factor.

zionx:


Thanks for always keeping me in mind Ma. We are doing fine. May the Lord always remember you and your family for good Ma.

You r welcome ma. God be with u.

I will rather be a single mum than doing abortion in the name of claiming holier than thou. Madam Zion.x has said it all. May God help us, my blood brother married a single mum and they are living fine. Does making a mistake when you are naive means God does not have a plan for you?

zionx:


The Op asked this question in 2014 but was forced to comment cos of the above. You have made a good point but I dont support what you said above. Have you forgotten that widows, widowers with child/ren are also single mum/dad. Did they actually knowingly traded that path? No. So pls just remember that not all single mums/dad are cases of divorce or being in a broken relationship. I am an example. My husband passed on few months ago and, will you say I knowingly traded the path? I am a single mum now but it was not by my choice. Yes, some are single mums by choice but NOT ALL. It is good to make plans, but remember that sometimes things dont go the way we plan or expect.

Amelian, please what do say about this?

"

kindredspirit:


Amelian, please what do say about this?

Well what can I say on her post? It's not her fault, she's a single mum and I pray she and her kids get the love and care they deserve from a good responsible man.. She falls in the category of been a widow.. And widows go through alot.. I have an aunt who was a widow with two teenage sons.. She was a widow for like 21years before she eventually met a divorcee with children.. They fell in love and got married ..they all live together as one family.
It's well.

Hello all

Just seeing this thread and yes in 2017 . Quite an interesting thread I should say,reading from all the posts here mmm most are just speculations .one to know better would be one who has or is going through the journey of SMhood. I read Mr tv posts...you are one who concludes basing entirely on how you feel and want things to be then you add a lot of statistics to make your inner view a reality but I'm not here to stand against Dow you feel and view the situation.maybe you will one day truly feel understand when it's your daughter who becomes a SM. Life isn't what we think it is it's very unpredictable and the fate of SMs cannot be determined by how we think or feel or statistics,past experiences etc . I used to be a single mother, i lived with that fear which some individuals in the society instill in Sms. Such sentiments like your options are limited as a SM men will not think of taking on a SM and her child,you will put your child in danger,your social life will be nonexistent as married women will be shielding theirs husbands from you ;Dyes I was put in that tiny box. How I had become a SM No one dared to ask they just concluded the matter. I read some post saying we want to be realistic and prevent SMhood, I Lough because such things we humans have no control over the matter would go back to men on the large I guess, calling them out to take responsibility for their actions,practice self control etc but that is impossible neither can we encourage abortions because this is yet another seemingly solution in preventing SMhood than pointing out harsh realities to them which are not realities because I stand as a testimony that SM do get married and are getting married.

I am married to my husband and he took my child as well.we are not perfect but we are ok .i have friends who aren't married and aren't SMs and I shield my husband from them as well the matter of marriage does not entirely depend on what meets the eye there is more to it. A SMs options maybe presumed limited but so are are those of a single woman just that they are overlooked.it all depends on who you are really not who you are lebeled that gets you married. From where I stand the number of single women who aren't married is greater while SMs are getting married this ofcoz is form the world I'm seeing from where I'm standing I don't know about other areas in the world.

Personally, I can't. B4 someone will start quoting me here abt education and all that jargon.I am well lettered bt my decision arose from my dad's experience from my older siblings who happens to be frm another fathe.

pls dnt quote and start asking me silly questions. goodluck to those dt like it

Safari29:
Bn there done that. never in my life again. It's hell. especially when she is not responsible. Most of them are selfish and don't have a heart. You will be fourth on her list trust me

What is wrong in marrying a single mother? most of us here for don born like 50, if not for CD. If you meet a very lovely lady with good attitude and is hard working.........with all the necessary gadgets in the right places will you walk away? Abegi.

MRLANNISTER:


What is wrong in marrying a single mother? most of us here for don born like 50, if not for CD. If you meet a very lovely lady with good attitude and is hard working.........with all the necessary gadgets in the right places will you walk away? Abegi.

its my choice, as i have said earlier, bn there done that. it doesnt fit young me

LastProphet:


you are right about 15 years ago but wrong now. my cousin a self made guy with very ok looks is marrying one by easter, bros try to learn how things are changing around you. for instance do you believe i avoided more than 3 opportunities of deflowering a virgin in the past? I avoid virgins like plaque and many experienced guys are towing this line incase you don't know

I presume u avoided the virgins not because you dnt dream of having a classic pleasure of tearing a hymen but partly because they don't tick other vital boxes of moral values.

As for me nitemi,i would pay a fortune for a well-cultured,cool-headed,religious and moderately endowed virgin lady








.....if i have the 'fortune' though!

Let's call a spade a spade.
To date a single mum or single dad is not a problem for most people but where the problem lies is. Marrying one, especially single mums to a guy who is just starting life, is a no no. Single mum's work well with single dads.. And single mum works well with a guy who knows he can never kids of his own due to no sperm at all.. There are men who cannot have kids, no. Matter how hard they try.. Such men will gladly marry a. Single mum and be father to her kids, likewise single dads too.

Our society is so. Messed up, that even your friends, neighbors will be advising you as a lady, hmm u know time is going, why not have a kid of your own?? At least u can afford to take of a baby.. As if children are commodities one goes to the market, buy and start taking care of.. Most children from single parents crave the love and attention of either a mum or dad, depending which one is available for now, in such child's life.

I can never be a single mum either by mistake or doing it knowingly, I will never trade that path.. Sorry single mums but it's true.
Have seen first hand emotional depression most children from single homes go thru.. Trust me, my future kids won't tow that line.
So it's about choices.

I was about telling people in this thread to kukuma leave enough space for TV01 and SHAYBEBABY coz in my own opinion, they were just paying little attention to the main point each other were trying to pass across.

With this your comment, you really hit the nail on the head. It's better for the involving parties to go for their likes or what's really good for them.
A goose should choose a gander and not a cock.

Most virgins have poor attitude - its one of the qualities that kept them virgin. And dont worry I know your type, you will learn with time that a woman's value is not in virginity. I have been there before, it means nothing, absolutely nothing, as far a a woman still got body intact she's good any day. Anyway I have a 37yr old virgin cousin she works in kogi as teacher but her boobs have fallen to gravitational pull anyway, so if you still worship virgins I could link you with her

loshybab:

I presume u avoided the virgins not because you dnt dream of having a classic pleasure of tearing a hymen but partly because they don't tick other vital boxes of moral values.

As for me nitemi,i would pay a fortune for a well-cultured,cool-headed,religious and moderately endowed virgin lady








.....if i have the 'fortune' though!

why would a single guy with his right senses get married to an after one or two? .I'll never do that... cos i dont want no drama frm d baby daddy or whatsoever...i love my peace of mind....I still find it difficult to keep a relationship with a lady because of d constant drama centered around our girls these days...not to talk of a baby mama...naaa...unless she's very perfect to me...which is impossible.... (though i love children. )...dating or wifing a single mother is a complete no no to me...even if I'm a single dad...i wouldn't consider dating a single mom ...its hard to find one without too many dramas...even if i consider dating/wifing one...i doubt if they'll accept her whole heartedly....

cococandy:
OP pls advice her to stop begging the guy.
If she does and he marries her out of pressure or pity,she's setting herself up for emotional abuse as the guy will always find ways to rub it in that she's not his first choice in a life partner.

She can get married to someone else. The possiblity is high. Very high too. Especially if she's beautiful and has all it takes to make a good wife and mother.

why is she fixated on marriage anyway?
According to you she's still to get admission(or am I wrong?)
Misplaced priorities if you ask me.

People can smell desperation from miles away. if she keeps wearing the 'pls marry me' badge on her forehead,she's just going to be on a permanent roller coaster of failed relationships.
she'll keep getting used and dumped and preyed on.

let's tell ourselves the truth sweetie... (with all due respect...i ain't trying to tag u a liar. NO)...this is Africa (Nigeria for that matter)...we all know that d population of women is getting much higher than that of d men on daily basis...even if d government force each men to get married to 5 or 7 wives....women go still remain plenty...now you'll see a 16yrs old girl dragging/snatching a 27 or 30yrs old girl's boyfriend...the competition is too much now...thats why ladies get desperate these days...what I'm trying to say here is that...so many pretty n good girls never see or get boyfriend/husbands to xall theirs... na single mothers with 2 to 3 kids go get hubby easily?....it doesn'twork that way sweetie...95% of Nigerian men...a woman with kids is a big turn off to them....me and all my friends and all the guys I've met included ...the possibility of a single mom/dad getting married isnt high at all...we'll know it....though a single dad has upper hand over a single mom...but d possibility of a single mom getting married isn't high at all... although, still very possible...I've seen alot of very respectful pretty single moms remain single because of their kid(s)....some no go tell u say de get kids but d moment d man finds out he's gone....I've seen so many....so my dear having a baby outside wedlock will never increase ur chance if finding a spouse....rather it reduces it..do u understand d meaning if baby mama/daddy drama?...pray not to find yourself in that situation sweetheart..they are millions of single ladies looking for boyfriend/husbands.....most times the family of the man may not agree to the union especially when the man has no child...

CuteCp:


let's tell ourselves the truth sweetie... (with all due respect...i ain't trying to tag u a liar. NO)...this is Africa (Nigeria for that matter)...we all know that d population of women is getting much higher than that of d men on daily basis...even if d government force each men to get married to 5 or 7 wives....women go still remain plenty...now you'll see a 16yrs old girl dragging/snatching a 27 or 30yrs old girl's boyfriend...the competition is too much now...thats why ladies get desperate these days...

Any evidence for this?

Sophyrocks:


You talk like a Crude Sadist!!! No pun intended! Just read what i made bold up there. You are not happy that there are Single mothers who are turning out great after all the challenges they face or that there are success stories or that there will continue to be success stories. You seriously want single mums to suffer just to prove a point, that they are majorly responsible for their predicament or simply because the society stigmatizes them. Seriously?? You enjoy the stigma and in your judgemental mind, they have no right to happiness. They have no right to be happy simply because they are single mums? Are you kidding me? It pricks you when you hear success stories. It pricks you when you see that there are still men around, inspite of the stigma, who marry these women. What is your grudge with these women? Why can't you wish people well? why must you always wanna prove a point with stigma even when there is light at the end of the tunnel ?

You will really need to stop!! Your hatred for these women is sickening!! Gosh! and you call yourself a christian? Damn!

to be honest I have never fathomed the reason why some guys like to always pop up to discredit or bully SM all in the name of being moral.
They are not happy seing this women succeed. They have a problem seeing this women live healthy lives so they always pop up wherever and whenever there is discussion surrounding Single motherhood to tell them they don't deserve a normal life.

What is it if not bullying or oppression? When you tell them to leave this women in peace they will say you are encouraging or supporting promiscuity or indecency..

This same dolts will not mete the same aggression the met on single mums on single dads.


I am thinking they need mental evaluation because I can't fathom their sadistic obsession with trolling SM and calling it "being realistic"

I can't marry a single mum with a kid that is not mine,that is a personal choice. But that doesn't mean I will always be announcing how "bad" or calling them names.

I guess it is a foul spirit behind this,that if they don't input their negative vibes on SM they will have peace.

To think the Television guy is a christian and is educated baffles me.

Sophyrocks:


You talk like a Crude Sadist!!! No pun intended! Just read what i made bold up there. You are not happy that there are Single mothers who are turning out great after all the challenges they face or that there are success stories or that there will continue to be success stories. You seriously want single mums to suffer just to prove a point, that they are majorly responsible for their predicament or simply because the society stigmatizes them. Seriously?? You enjoy the stigma and in your judgemental mind, they have no right to happiness. They have no right to be happy simply because they are single mums? Are you kidding me? It pricks you when you hear success stories. It pricks you when you see that there are still men around, inspite of the stigma, who marry these women. What is your grudge with these women? Why can't you wish people well? why must you always wanna prove a point with stigma even when there is light at the end of the tunnel ?

You will really need to stop!! Your hatred for these women is sickening!! Gosh! and you call yourself a christian? Damn!

No one hates them single mothers, everyone is judging them, I judge them. If you don't want to be judged, then stop living (drop dead) no one will judge you, at least none you will know of if you are dead.

Being a single mom shows this irresponsibility in one both male and female. It is more pronounced in the female since they're the ones left with the kids. Yet again, a woman who is widowed and or left by her husband is viewed as a heroine depending on how her children turn out to be. But those you got their kids out of wedlock, they're just simply stup.id, regardless, they can not dwell on their mistakes for too long but to only move on.

The goal is to educate the young ones coming up on the stigma on SM. They should know to take responsibility for any actions in their life. The stigma is there already, you can't change by simply educating we the old adults. But we can phase it out by educating the young ones to practice safe sex or be chastised.

Omar09:


No one hates them single mothers, everyone is judging them, I judge them. If you don't want to be judged, then stop living (drop dead) no one will judge you, at least none you will know of if you are dead.

Being a single mom shows this irresponsibility in one both male and female. It is more pronounced in the female since they're the ones left with the kids. Yet again, a woman who is widowed and or left by her husband is viewed as a heroine depending on how her children turn out to be. But those you got their kids out of wedlock, they're just simply stup.id, regardless, they can not dwell on their mistakes for too long but to only move on.

The goal is to educate the young ones coming up on the stigma on SM. They should know to take responsibility for any actions in their life. The stigma is there already, you can't change by simply educating we the old adults. But we can phase it out by educating the young ones to practice safe sex or be chastised.

the way you carry SM matters on your head eh..

Let us make you the minister of single mom affairs.

You will be in charge of
1)advising women against pre-marital sex
2)advise women on safe sex
3)modify their character since they are "stupid people"
4)advise men not to marry them


Emmaodet will be the permanent secretary..

I am starting to feel this is your calling and destiny,to address issues of single moms...

What do you think?

By the way ,you have been offline,for long,wanted to send you a PM bro to know if all was well

Kingarthur21:
the way you carry SM matters on your head eh..

Let us make you the minister of single mom affairs.

You will be in charge of
1)advising women against pre-marital sex
2)advise women on safe sex
3)modify their character since they are "stupid people"
4)advise men not to marry them


Emmaodet will be the permanent secretary..

I am starting to feel this is your calling and destiny,to address issues of single moms...

What do you think?

By the way ,you have been offline,for long,wanted to send you a PM bro to know if all was well

I'd love it. I will work towards that. I will enlighten them on how the world will hate them as soon as they decide to have a baby without a man there.


Nna one mod like that weh no sabi him left from right ban me for 7 days. Him papa there.