₦airaland Forum

I had a good uncle who passed away three years ago. His wife morned him for one year. I lived with that my uncle until I got married and parked to my own house.

I use to visit the house sometimes. After the mourning, his wife called me and told me that I should give her more children. She has only one male child. I refused. But She said I should do it for her because she doesn't want children outside the family because she loved my uncle and our family and that she can't continue to stay with only one child.

I'm completely confused. First I'm married doing that is infidelity, sencondly, the uncle was like a father to me before his death. And I see it as a big sin.

Please somebody should help me, what do I do here? How do I handle this issue? Thanks for your candid advice.

Do not complicate your life. In life, the more simple, common and innocent, the better.

It will end in tears,satani don enter that woman,flee.



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Even if you've to do it which am against, let her call the whole family and tell them for advice and again who will be taking care of her children.....

Are you the only male in your family? Advice her to re marry,but try and support her .. after all the media drama Stella Damascus is still married to her new hubby .

ok

Please DON'T.
Even if she requests for your sperm without you having to sleep with her... never give in to her demand because it is morally wrong and it can cause chaos in the near future amongst yourselves, especially with your nuclear family.
Have you informed your wife about her ungodly demand?

Don't complicate your life,respect your wife & your marriage, and you shall have peace of mind. What she is suggesting does happen in some cultures, but the woman usually talks to the elders 1st,and they are the ones that will recommend her the right* sperm donor in the family. What she is doing is creepy,sneaky and suspicious. One is left to think she was lusting over you all this while,& your uncle was a deterrent . Maybe she wants a younger man to awaken her senses ,and her need for another child is just an excuse to lure you into her web of deceit. Becareful with such people.

Men !!!! na wa o, so if people advice you here to do it, you will do it abeg please tell us what is in your mind or have you done it ?

I think you should have given her a straight answer that you can't do it, that she should remarry or adopt advice ko, advice ni

Let her consult your family elders first..

the woman never said anything bad.it would sound absurb to many this modern time.And moreever since it was not forced on by her by the family.What has been the families reaction ,at least they took part in his funeral ceremonies. there is a procedure in this regard concerning her fate.despite modern times and all you are the best relative in line.the family opinion matters alot ,most especially if they were in good relations with the man. you own it a responsibility to take care of the mans business interest till the children are of age and affairs of running the mans home. that is why conscience wise you visit the place out of goodwill. what part of nigeria are you from.what is the age of his only son.what age did ur uncle die.what is ur age and his wifes own.

Tell her to remarry if kpekus dey scratch her!

OP, please answer all these questions if you want candid advice...

Ohizman73:
the woman never said anything bad.it would sound absurb to many this modern time.And moreever since it was not forced on by her by the family.What has been the families reaction ,at least they took part in his funeral ceremonies. there is a procedure in this regard concerning her fate.despite modern times and all you are the best relative in line.the family opinion matters alot ,most especially if they were in good relations with the man. you own it a responsibility to take care of the mans business interest till the children are of age and affairs of running the mans home. that is why conscience wise you visit the place out of goodwill. what part of nigeria are you from.what is the age of his only son.what age did ur uncle die.what is ur age and his wifes own.

She should remarry

JeffreyD1:
She should remarry

It is easier said,the moment she decides that you would be first person to cast a stone.IN Nigeria and Africa we are all aware of the stigma accorded the woman. but if a man loses his and the next minute he can marry without no hassles.

This is a traditional issue, too many young men and women here 're advising you without considering the motive behind this. Remove this thread, better meet 1 or 2 elderly men probably from a far, who doesn't know you but shares the same culture with you. Seek their words!

I watched this movie too bro

I think a lot has been said by early people who has comments, just follow their advice unless you want to do otherwise which you Intend to do

In the Bible book of genesis 38 God kill Onan for refusing to impregnate his late brothers wife. Nigerian Christians and hypocrisy we select only what we think is right in the Bible.

Summon the elders.

Dnt do it...think about your wife n ur kids

Which movie is this?


Who wrote d script?

I need tovwatch d movie

What's Seun and co doing about all these concocted stories

Ohizman73:
the woman never said anything bad.it would sound absurb to many this modern time.And moreever since it was not forced on by her by the family.What has been the families reaction ,at least they took part in his funeral ceremonies. there is a procedure in this regard concerning her fate.despite modern times and all you are the best relative in line.the family opinion matters alot ,most especially if they were in good relations with the man. you own it a responsibility to take care of the mans business interest till the children are of age and affairs of running the mans home. that is why conscience wise you visit the place out of goodwill. what part of nigeria are you from.what is the age of his only son.what age did ur uncle die.what is ur age and his wifes own.

I'm Igbo and 37 years. She is 42 and her son is 12 years while my uncle was 51 years when he died.

I have to tell you but there's nothing wrong with what she asked. She told you that she wants the child from within the family and she has stayed to mourn your uncle respectfully.


This is totally in line with our tradition as Igbo people. Even the Bible supports the idea

Mutemenot:
This is a traditional issue, too many young men and women here 're advising you without considering the motive behind this. Remove this thread, better meet 1 or 2 elderly men probably from a far, who doesn't know you but shares the same culture with you. Seek their words!

Dont castigate people giving advice here,they have gave proper advice.which you are just repeating.i did advice that this matter should be directed to elders in his family with culture as a basis focal point

michlins:
I have to tell you but there's nothing wrong with what she asked. She told you that she wants the child from within the family and she has stayed to mourn your uncle respectfully.


This is totally in line with our tradition as Igbo people. Even the Bible supports the idea

I have also told him the same thing,in my culture from the mid-west that is kee.even in modern times like i always tell people in marriage it is the family of the man shes marries so to say.in our culture marriage is a serious matter not a childs play as many young people of nowadays. till date traditional marriage has more value and legality than their church marriage.

Modesthy:
I'm Igbo and 37 years. She is 42 and her son is 12 years while my uncle was 51 years when he died.

Ikuchi nwanyi (which many have done away with due to Christianity and westernization) have to involve other members of the family. You having a child with her would mean she will be more of your second wife and you will also have obligations to provide for her and the children and constantly spending time at her place and having sexual relationships with her as she is more or less also your wife because what she is presenting to you is the need to procreate but companionship will also be in the mix.

Ask yourself, should you impregnate her will you not be spending time away from your own wife and go be with her during her pregnancy and birth?

Will it not affect your marriage?

Does it align with the faith you profess?

In summary, traditions evolves and not cast on stone.

Ohizman73:
I have also told him the same thing,in my culture from the mid-west that is kee.even in modern times like i always tell people in marriage it is the family of the man shes marries so to say.in our culture marriage is a serious matter not a childs play as many young people of nowadays. till date traditional marriage has more value and legality than their church marriage.

if the woman is a good wife to his late uncle, then there's nothing that guy can against the woman's decision. The elders will totally support her and then it will become a public embarrassment. Just tell one or two respected elders in the family who will certainly keep their mouth shut

clintz:
In the Bible book of genesis 38 God kill Onan for refusing to impregnate his late brothers wife. Nigerian Christians and hypocrisy we select only what we think is right in the Bible.

That was Old testament, Christianity didn't start there

As Christians: Study Old testament to learn how they lived but study new testament to know how to live

IVF is an option.

Modesthy:
I'm Igbo and 37 years. She is 42 and her son is 12 years while my uncle was 51 years when he died.

Good enough an ibo person here has chiped in a word on the cultural aspect and the bitter truth. it is not the womans fault to fall into such predicament of losing the love of her life at his prime. with the age ,the woman has all claim to make such request. do you know expect her at that age to go and look for a new husband. moreover she is already approaching menopause fast.it is also not her fault that she did not give birth to another child during the 12 years interval she gave birth to her only child. since you stayed with them you should know better. however this matter still lie your uncles kin. it doesnt mean sleeping with her physically ,if you dont relish the idea. you can donate sperm,