You shouldn’t have proceeded with the marriage no matter what. Women are driven by emotions often, and now she is scared of the reality.

Mariangeles:
You're resentful towards your wife.

Please try to be more supportive of her both physically and emotionally, she and the baby need you now more than ever.

So this is all you got from his story. You need psychiatric evaluation and mental test.

The deed is done already and she's even pregnant.

Try to be supportive she's pregnant, you might be lucky and none of your children will be a sickler.

Try and know the baby's genotype as soon as the test can be carried out.

Corporate2020:


So this is all you got from his story. You need psychiatric evaluation and mental test.

No, but it is the most important

Of course, you'd know that if you were mentally sound.

Fountainofyouth:



I'm a Christian o, but pls go and sleep, the Bible that said prevention is better than cure isn't stupid, God cannot be mocked.

Please quote the verse and chapter, I need to learn. Thanks.

Graxie:
Please quote the verse and chapter, I need to learn. Thanks.

It is in the book of Acts, I'm not sure of the chapter and verse, you can search further on it.

ZeroShenanigan:

Without checking your profile, I know this a female voice.
This is how majority of you always sound.
If I come come over here to seek for an advise during those period, people like you will ask me to go ahead without thinking of the implications.
Did you see me mention that I'm perfect? I'm a career also, AS. If I have known this earlier, I will insist on a relationship with only AA. Please, I can't stand any negative comments this moment as I'm a kind of guy that will never give a damn about your derailing opinion. I believe so much in God's will as well human personal endeavor to achieve whatever you desire. Gbogbo epe to ba she, o ma pada so ri e ni.
I bring out my story for others to learn ni. Only God knows what will happen later as I'm only contemplating divorce which I have not done yet. How many SS children have you helped to survive if you want people to continue breeding sickler?

Oh hell! You are already IN IT!
Deal with it and stop whining.
What implications with a child on the way?

I will insist on a relationship with only AA



Only God knows what will happen later as I'm only contemplating divorce which I have not done yet. How many SS children have you helped to survive if you want people to continue breeding sickler?

And who says an AA like me would wanno deal with you? You are extremely IGNORANT, immature and annoying.

The only lesson you can teach anyone with half a brain is to get a PROPER EDUCATION before discussing common sense issues on or offline.

I will not respond to you more than I have, since it would really be a waste of my precious time.

All the best!

You have already married her bro
You can know the genotype of a child before the child is born
And to avoid SS children in future Do IVF or IUI, genotype of the child can be manipulated through that thats if your pocket fit carry am.

It's important people know their genotype and blood group early enough even if it's in their teens

Fountainofyouth:
In all your write up, I was looking for where she forced you at gun point to marry her, but its not there, so why are you making it seem like it's her fault? You walked to the Nikkah, you were not dragged, so own it and stop the blame game,

Anyway, the deed has been done, stay with her till she gives birth, then talk to her to make her understand that the more you both stay together, there is a chance of birthing SS, I'll never advice adults to stay together knowing they are both AS to marry or whatever, so pls divorce her, you're saving multiple lifes if you do that.

P.S nobody should come here and say there are solutions to it, not everyone can afford $10,000 to $1,000,000 for a bone marrow or whatever they call it.

Thank you, I admit, I'm responsible for part of the blame, because I couldn't stand my ground during those period. I was timid and confused at the same time.
Even though I tried my best but my wife made it seem like, I'm the bad person then. If I have her support on my view point then, things would have been different. A friend I invited to talk to my wife and her sisters, was unable to convince them. He later asked me to do it, just for the sake of my personality as they think it was a kind of betrayal on my side.
My elder sister was afraid of my wife's sister and her family, base on fetish reason and name calling, because I'm the only one trying to back off, my wife is not ready to stop. So, she encouraged me to go ahead that we can later find solution to the matter.
There are different lies we can cook up together to stop the wedding but when my wife wasn't in support, I was left me with no choice.

It's a tough one
Just be the best you can be to your wife and your unborn
Y'all gonna be fine

KanwuliaExtra:


Oh hell! You are already IN IT!
Deal with it and stop whining.
What implications with a child on the way?



And who says an AA like me would wanno deal with you? You are extremely IGNORANT, immature and annoying.

The only lesson you can teach anyone with half a brain is to get a PROPER EDUCATION before discussing common sense issues on or offline.

I will not respond to you more than I have, since it would really be a waste of my precious time.

All the best!

Who is this person na? You just reminds me of the reactions one my wife's sister gave then. Abeg, take things easy with your self, I'm not fighting you please. Even my wife now realized how risky it is for us having more children together and if we resolve to divorce, I think she is wouldn't mind. Will you help us with hospital bills when it happens? will you give us the moral and emotional support of seeing a child sick every time? Please spare me some space to allow for people who have good things to say. Thank you.

bjprodint:
Be prayerful,GOD changed my course mate's genotype from AS to AA.Now they have two healthy kids even expecting the third ine.her husband is AS.there is nothing GOD cannot do.

This isn't possible. You're either born AS or AA; you cannot switch your DNA.

Fountainofyouth:



It is in the book of Acts, I'm not sure of the chapter and verse, you can search further on it.

please there is nothing like that in the Bible.

If you can pay for it, you will get healthy babies.
The medical experts know how to do it.

bjprodint:
Be prayerful,GOD changed my course mate's genotype from AS to AA.Now they have two healthy kids even expecting the third ine.her husband is AS.there is nothing GOD cannot do.

There are two explanation to it.
Either the genotype of one of the couple is AA but the test gave false result of AS.
Or the wife was sleeping with another man other than the husband.

Op, YOU ARE TO BE BLAMED AS WELL!!!!

Did anyone force you to marry her? Why are you acting like you were a kid that was forced. It'd have been better, if you had ended things, instead of first getting her pregnant and now planning a divorce

bjprodint:
Be prayerful,GOD changed my course mate's genotype from AS to AA.Now they have two healthy kids even expecting the third ine.her husband is AS.there is nothing GOD cannot do.

..
Aunty, u Sabi lie oo..

NoToPile:
The deed is done already and she's even pregnant.

Try to be supportive she's pregnant, you might be lucky and none of your children will be a sickler.

Try and know the baby's genotype as soon as the test can be carried out.

..
And if he is not lucky

Lorazepam:
You have already married her bro
You can know the genotype of a child before the child is born
And to avoid SS children in future Do IVF or IUI, genotype of the child can be manipulated through that thats if your pocket fit carry am.

..
Instead of going through all these stress,don't u think dissolving the marriage will be better??

KanwuliaExtra:


Oh hell! You are already IN IT!
Deal with it and stop whining.
What implications with a child on the way?



And who says an AA like me would wanno deal with you? You are extremely IGNORANT, immature and annoying.

The only lesson you can teach anyone with half a brain is to get a PROPER EDUCATION before discussing common sense issues on or offline.

I will not respond to you more than I have, since it would really be a waste of my precious time.

All the best!

..
This one is already getting emotional over matter wey nor concern her...
Nawa..

Try to sit your wife down and discuss your fears with her.Both of you should rub minds together. Don't divorce her, it's not the end of the road.

Unnerve:

Not doubting the validity of the saying, but what verse of the Bible says it?

Just curious is all

Just like people saying "heaven helps those who help themselves " is in the bible

Anyway, why bring sickle cell children to the world to suffer? The crises they experience is painful and draining to their families. Couples need to stay strong and be supportive in this kind of situation because believe me your resilience and commitment will be tested.

The journey has not started and you both are already emotionally apart. Your relationship is already too frail to stand what is ahead of you.

.

ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?

Plot hole number one: You cannot complete your fresher registration in any higher institution without doing blood group and genotype tests. (Or did you buy your certificate?)
I'm coming.

It is difficult to advise since one of your major reasons of mating her is for childbirth. Would have suggested you guys apt but I'm not sure it will sit well with you.

bjprodint:
Be prayerful,GOD changed my course mate's genotype from AS to AA.Now they have two healthy kids even expecting the third ine.her husband is AS.there is nothing GOD cannot do.

Not that I don't believe in miracles, but this can be an issue of error from the previous test. It has happened to many.

bjprodint:
Be prayerful,GOD changed my course mate's genotype from AS to AA.Now they have two healthy kids even expecting the third ine.her husband is AS.there is nothing GOD cannot do.

Darling, it's impossible for your genotype to change. The first test result was probably a mistake.

Give your wife the care and love she needs now. Since you have taken the decision of getting married to her, learn to stand by it like a man you are.

My both parents are AS but non out of three of us is sickler.

Marriage counseling is very important before thinking of spending your lifetime with anyone, as it is one of the first requirements.

I totally understand why she wanted the marriage to take place, I mean you already chose a date, the shame might be too much for her.

You both could have considered adoption, instead of thinking if divorce but too late for this advice now.

You have to spice up your love for her once again for the sake of your sweet unborn baby and pray he or she isn't a sickler and hopefully, she won't be and therefore put an end, and adopt his or her siblings.

Uyi168:
..
This one is already getting emotional over matter wey nor concern her...
Nawa..

Na me you wan take drag dis dull thread to reach page 3?

Getting emotional indeed. Over an over-flogged, drrrrrry topic?


Please buzz of my mentions and keep your “funky genotypes“ off my ID.
Thanks.


*like me dey come NL with uselesss recycled tory about ancient, genetic, blood craw-craws from cyber nonentities phew*