ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?

Ebere79:
Hmmmm it's very painful but the deeds has been done.
Please she and your unborn child needs your support and love now Biko.
Don't allow her to fall under Labour in a depressed mind, it can be risky.
STEM cell is a sure cure but some doctors will Never tell you that.
God will see you through

centboy123456:



are you serious about it

how did ur parents mange to do it

FlordFlorez:
Im not sure if i get ur question, but this's my inputs: Any of the two could ask sure question. And it should be taken as a regular question we ask at early stage of relationship. Like the popular ones such as ur age; ur academic level; ur state of origin; ur position in ur family, etc.

LilMissFavvy:
Your first child will not be a sickler, don't quit your marriage. Even if you have a sickler amongst the 4kids you plan to have in future, it wouldn't be the end of the world. I have seen two AS couples who have only AS kids, no sickler, be hopeful for the best. You are an educated person yet did not take genotype issues seriously

KanwuliaExtra:
Please, there is nothing to be unhappy about. When you choose to be with someone, there are no inconveniences. You work through your problems together and build a formidable network of coping mechanisms.

Life always throws curve balls. I always welcome the challenges and try to deal with them as positively as possible. Yeah, it will be tough, but I don’t think I would want to be with anybody else, because I CHOSE to be WITH YOU.

You are frankly not ready for a relationship, not to mention marriage. The only reason you feel unhappy is that you are SELFISH and you lack INTEGRITY!

You are doomed to be unhappy in any relationship or marriage you get into anyhooooo. People like you always see the imperfections in others, while turning a blind eye to their own MEGA-FAULTS.

You lack resolve and will quit when the going gets tough. Are you the “GOD” that created people?

If you can’t accept your situation, please man up and leave the relationship. Hopefully, the next marriage won’t have BARRENNESS, HIV or CORONA as your excuse to be unhappy.

Shior!

ZeroShenanigan:


I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?

eagleeye2:

Your coursemate was never AS to begin with.... Please God is not author of confusion.

wiconse:


Hello, I will like to give you a better offer on ROI.
Quote me if interested

ZeroShenanigan:

Without checking your profile, I know this a female voice.
This is how majority of you always sound.
If I come come over here to seek for an advise during those period, people like you will ask me to go ahead without thinking of the implications.
Did you see me mention that I'm perfect? I'm a career also, AS. If I have known this earlier, I will insist on a relationship with only AA. Please, I can't stand any negative comments this moment as I'm a kind of guy that will never give a damn about your derailing opinion. I believe so much in God's will as well human personal endeavor to achieve whatever you desire. Gbogbo epe to ba she, o ma pada so ri e ni.
I bring out my story for others to learn ni. Only God knows what will happen later as I'm only contemplating divorce which I have not done yet. How many SS children have you helped to survive if you want people to continue breeding sickler?

stonecoldcafe:


You have options. Don't punish yourself and your wife. I hope the woman works too, cos these options will require money to be spent.

www.bellanaija.com/2014/06/ask-dr-craig-sickle-cell-disorder/amp/?espv=1
Take note of these options
1. Prenatal diagnosis
2. Pre implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD)

ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advice is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?