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Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. (59717 Views)

My Genotype Is AS And My Fiancee Is AS; What Do I Do? / Parents Arrange Wife For Their 21-Year-Old Son Who Has SS Genotype / My Wife Lied About Her Genotype (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by ZeroShenanigan(m): 10:59pm On Jun 08, 2020
Saintmary:

Plot hole number one: You cannot complete your fresher registration in any higher institution without doing blood group and genotype tests. (Or did you buy your certificate?)
I'm coming.
some of you, when you come online, you only end up demonstrating how deluded you are.
I deliberately put up the story in thousands of words to keep people like you away from the comments. You can see I didn't apologize for writing so long as it also help me to give enough details about the matter. I'm also using my real account to avoid people tagging the story fake because I sincerely need the advice and words of encouragement. I'm doing this also to reach out to those who don't know their genotype to get tested before before getting married.
What about if there was a mix-up from the school genotype result? Do you think it's advisable to rely on such genotype result which is conducted massively? Even if you have it done in school, please go and double check for marriage purpose. Go through my write up again, I didn't deny doing it in school but I never take cognisance of the out come. Maybe I misplaced the result since I don't have any reason to be in the hospital.
And to that your mumu question, about buying result... I'm coming.

6 Likes

Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by Saintmary(f): 11:14pm On Jun 08, 2020
ZeroShenanigan:

some of you, when you come online, you only end up demonstrating how deluded you are.
I deliberately put up the story in thousands of words to keep people like you away from the comments. You can see I didn't apologize for writing so long as it also help me to give enough details about the matter. I'm also using my real account to avoid people tagging the story fake because I sincerely need the advice and words of encouragement. I'm doing this also to reach out to those who don't know their genotype to get tested before before getting married.
What about if there was a mix-up from the school genotype result? Do you think it's advisable to rely on such genotype result which is conducted massively? Even if you have it done in school, please go and double check for marriage purpose. Go through my write up again, I didn't deny doing it in school but I never take cognisance of the out come. Maybe I misplaced the result since I don't have any reason to be in the hospital.
And to that your mumu question, about buying result... I'm coming.
Savage baba grin grin grin
I hope your savageness has solved your quandary.
However you paint your story, you were careless with your own life and only you have to bear the consequences.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by Fundamentalist: 11:48pm On Jun 08, 2020
A man should be able to stand by his words. 3 years ago I rejected a lady i wanted to marry. I discovered if I went ahead with it, I won't be be happy at all. She wanted me badly but I knew I might enter one chance. I took only a day to make a decision that it had to be called off. please note that both families knew about the relationship and were looking forward to end of 2017 for the marriage. There was pressure from my family to continue but I stood by my decision. This continued for 6 months. With my total silence on the issue everyone just left me alone. Please let's know what we want when entering a marriage. No one would bare your cross when problems start. Since you have put a lady in a family way, you have to bare the cross. If she's my sister i wont let you off. Rather call off a wedding that people would attend and even forget when it happened than live a marriage full of sadness and regret. Please take of your pregnant wife. She's your responsibility. Despite my cancelled relationship everyone is looking towards my marriage till today.

3 Likes

Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by ZeroShenanigan(m): 12:26am On Jun 09, 2020
Fundamentalist:
A man should be able to stand by his words. 3 years ago I rejected a lady i wanted to marry. I discovered if I went ahead with it, I won't be be happy at all. She wanted me badly but I knew I might enter one chance. I took only a day to make a decision that it had to be called off. please note that both families knew about the relationship and were looking forward to end of 2017 for the marriage. There was pressure from my family to continue but I stood by my decision. This continued for 6 months. With my total silence on the issue everyone just left me alone. Please let's know what we want when entering a marriage. No one would bare your cross when problems start. Since you have put a lady in a family way, you have to bare the cross. If she's my sister i wont let you off. Rather call off a wedding that people would attend and even forget when it happened than live a marriage full of sadness and regret. Please take of your pregnant wife. She's your responsibility. Despite my cancelled relationship everyone is looking towards my marriage till today.
I wish you are in my shoes to have a first hand experience of everything like I do.
You called off a relationship, bro it's not an upcoming wedding which date have been fixed. You discontinued a relationship without giving reason, We are talking about genotype here my brother.
I'm only worried deep inside me as well as my wife.
We are both nice persons, We treat each other well even when it seems there is No love between us again. I am only expecting more than what we are doing presently, that's why I'm bothered and feeling sad. If I'm thinking of divorce, definitely it's not yet time, we are still together for now to take care of the baby.

1 Like

Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by frozen70(f): 2:01am On Jun 09, 2020
ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?

Your stand was good at the initial stage, you had a firm grip of your decision until your sister and her sister teamed up to wash your brain

The she too, she knew the implications before the wedding and after the wedding she realised that it was a nasty decision

Just wait until the birth of your child
Before you can take any decision

As for your non Interest in her yes its obvious that she lured you and your mind isn't happy about it anymore

When women and men are desperate for marriage, it leads to so many errors

3 Likes

Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by Temitope012(m): 2:44am On Jun 09, 2020
ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?


I don't think you have any problem. All you need to do is go and see your Doctor. Let's hope this unborn baby has a good genotype then the upcoming ones can be adequately planned for. There's an advanced technology now where you can check the genotype of an unborn baby during the early stages of pregnancy. If it does fall within the good ones you can flush the pregnancy and have another one till you know the one that's safe.

1 Like

Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by andyanders: 2:56am On Jun 09, 2020
Op, listen. A good friend of mine had just same issue like urs, both AS, and he is the only son. Both young graduates. They never knew until both of them had to go for test after the wife took in. When he told me, I counseld him to show his wife more love and allow God take control. The baby boy came and came with AA. The second child came, a daughter- AA. The last child came aa.

Just shower your wife with luv and don't heep any fault on her alone 'cus you're part of the blame. The mistake has been made.

More luv and don't seek for any divorce.

5 Likes

Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by Jlow2: 4:28am On Jun 09, 2020
when sisters from both side had a meeting what do you expect?
Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by Nobody: 6:03am On Jun 09, 2020
Klass99:


Aeion, because I generally like your take on topic/issues I will respond to your comment on this.

Bjprodint is not out of line with what she said. I have seen this happen with 2 people I know.

Both men, ran 3 tests at 3 different hospitals to verify and confirm, they weren't hallucinating and that their new genotype results of AA wasn't a hoax.They had the before and after test results.

One guy's case was the result of prayers by the woman he wanted to marry but was forced to break off his engagement with her because of their AS status. They got married eventually and it's been 14 yrs of marriage.

I like to think God chose to alter his genotype and not his wife's, because he was a very cynical person and a doubting Thomas. It was God's way of showing him I am real, you can look up to me.

The other guy was as a result of holy communion emblems he took. Hard to believe but test results don't lie.

The problem with us (humans) is that we've become so educated, we think we are wiser than God and our education causes us to struggle with simply accepting that His ways are beyond us and He still works in mysterious ways.
A figment of you people's imagination. Genotype cannot be changed by prayers or anything else except science.
The reason Nigeria is still backward is because people swallow every B.S they hear.

If a genotype 'changed' it was because of faulty or misleading tests in the lab. Yes, labs have been known to make mistakes that is why people should always do the tests at least 3 times in different labs.

It's our foolishness in this part of the world that will make sickle cell not to be eradicated. If only people will stick to medical advise, the disease can be eradicated in a few decades. When you start peddling lies, then you are encouraging people to keep defying medical advice and hoping they can be foolish and end up praying for a cure or miracle, thereby keeping us in a perpetual cycle.

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Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by Nobody: 6:15am On Jun 09, 2020
ZeroShenanigan:

I wish you are in my shoes to have a first hand experience of everything like I do.
You called off a relationship, bro it's not an upcoming wedding which date have been fixed. You discontinued a relationship without giving reason, We are talking about genotype here my brother.
I'm only worried deep inside me as well as my wife.
We are both nice persons, We treat each other well even when it seems there is No love between us again. I am only expecting more than what we are doing presently, that's why I'm bothered and feeling sad. If I'm thinking of divorce, definitely it's not yet time, we are still together for now to take care of the baby.
Stop all this your grammar. People have called off weddings with more pressure than yours. People have called off weddings at the alter sef.

You really don't have an excuse for going ahead, it only shows you are not strong willed. Start learning how to take blames and accepting corrections.

I agree that you guys should call it quit because the love is gone. You should make sure you take care of her and your child because you went into it without a gun to your head. Even if your child is sickle cell free, I would advise you still call of the marriage because you will still get her pregnant and start the blame game all over again.

4 Likes

Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by CzarChris(m): 7:15am On Jun 09, 2020
ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?
First of all ignorance is no excuse, with the easy availability of information these days, it's amazing how things as little as (but life threatening)genotype is overlooked.
But what's done is done, I have a friend whose a doctor and his wife is also a doctor both of them are AS and they insisted on getting married. They are happily married now, what they do is whenever his wife gets pregnant, they conduct a CVS test(Chorionic Villus Sampling) to check for genetic defects in the foetus, in which the sickle cell anemia defect is one of them. If it is detected, the pregnancy is terminated at it's early stage. It's truly that simple.

Some home truths is that you and your wife educated uneducated people. Please for the sake of your unborn children freaking get enlightened. She's acting up because she believes you betrayed her trust, and you are acting up because you're wondering why doesn't she want to understand you?
Fact is even at your age, you both are painfully ignorant, petty, proud and childish.

1 Like

Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by Fundamentalist: 9:44am On Jun 09, 2020
ZeroShenanigan:

I wish you are in my shoes to have a first hand experience of everything like I do.
You called off a relationship, bro it's not an upcoming wedding which date have been fixed. You discontinued a relationship without giving reason, We are talking about genotype here my brother.
I'm only worried deep inside me as well as my wife.
We are both nice persons, We treat each other well even when it seems there is No love between us again. I am only expecting more than what we are doing presently, that's why I'm bothered and feeling sad. If I'm thinking of divorce, definitely it's not yet time, we are still together for now to take care of the baby.
See my brother, there is no need to give a good reason when calling off a wedding or relationship. when a party feels uncomfortable with the relationship. No matter how good or bad your reason sounds, people would only blame you for breaking her heart, wasting her time and that's all. Life goes on and many would forget it happened. But right now, the deed has been done. You have to either carry on or divorce (which I'm not subscribing to because I won't want such to happen to my sister).

3 Likes

Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by Klass99(f): 11:34am On Jun 09, 2020
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Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by xavuv: 11:56am On Jun 09, 2020
I equally felt bad reading her nonsense comment too. She ended up saying nothing.

This issue could have been avoided. Anyway, man up and carry your cross. Im not an advocate for divorce.

ZeroShenanigan:

Without checking your profile, I know this a female voice.
This is how majority of you always sound.
If I come come over here to seek for an advise during those period, people like you will ask me to go ahead without thinking of the implications.
Did you see me mention that I'm perfect? I'm a career also, AS. If I have known this earlier, I will insist on a relationship with only AA. Please, I can't stand any negative comments this moment as I'm a kind of guy that will never give a damn about your derailing opinion. I believe so much in God's will as well human personal endeavor to achieve whatever you desire. Gbogbo epe to ba she, o ma pada so ri e ni.
I bring out my story for others to learn ni. Only God knows what will happen later as I'm only contemplating divorce which I have not done yet. How many SS children have you helped to survive if you want people to continue breeding sickler?

2 Likes

Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by xavuv: 12:18pm On Jun 09, 2020
@op don't think about divorcing her.

Your case is simpler in that your family and the wife's family know from the start, and will probably support if eventually u have an ss child.

Hear this other case:

i know a guy like that. He and his fiancee are both AS, they know from the start. The guys parent (educated) were in the know of their son's and fiancee's genotype,AS, and they suported them ( spiritual reasons, one pastor/alfa told them genotype doesnt matter etc)

However, the guy's parent, intending couples, delibrately kept such vital info from the girl's parent ( because wedding wld probably be halted by girl's parents). How deceptive and gullible!

They (Intending couples) had to get a fake gentotype result for that my guy to show the girls parents cuz they too are very educated. Imagine such deception. Their marriage held in march.

What do u make of that?

1 Like

Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by ZeroShenanigan(m): 12:54pm On Jun 09, 2020
xavuv:
@op don't think about divorcing her.

Your case is simpler in that your family and the wife's family know from the start, and will probably support if eventually u have an ss child.

Hear this other case:

i know a guy like that. He and his fiancee are both AS, they know from the start. The guys parent (educated) were in the know of their son's and fiancee's genotype,AS, and they suported them ( spiritual reasons, one pastor/alfa told them genotype doesnt matter etc)

However, the guy's parent, intending couples, delibrately kept such vital info from the girl's parent ( because wedding wld probably be halted by girl's parents). How deceptive and gullible!

They (Intending couples) had to get a fake gentotype result for that my guy to show the girls parents cuz they too are very educated. Imagine such deception. Their marriage held in march.

What do u make of that?
Just the way mine also happened, because it got to a point when I was asked to shut up by both her sisters and my sisters. Don't tell anybody about your genotype again, that's what they told me. That, they have gone to check it somewhere, they have prayed about it, we won't have SS children, things like that.
My own sisters even blame me more, me that I'm a graduate, I didn't check genotype before date is choosen. They just console me that, they are women too, and they know how my wife and her family will feel if wedding is cancelled.
Yes, I reluctantly agreed with them, but my heart is always heavy with regrets sometimes. That's why I'm saying it out. Thank you all.

3 Likes

Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by Ishilove: 1:28pm On Jun 09, 2020
This one pass my power.
Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by Ishilove: 1:30pm On Jun 09, 2020
ZeroShenanigan:

Just the way mine also happened, because it got to a point when I was asked to shut up by both her sisters and my sisters. Don't tell anybody about your genotype again, that's what they told me. That, they have gone to check it somewhere, they have prayed about it, we won't have SS children, things like that.
My own sisters even blame me more, me that I'm a graduate, I didn't check genotype before date is choosen. They just console me that, they are women too, and they know how my wife and her family will feel if wedding is cancelled.
Yes, I reluctantly agreed with them, but my heart is always heavy with regrets sometimes. That's why I'm saying it out. Thank you all.
You may never know, your case may just be different.

1 Like

Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by fatymore(f): 1:41pm On Jun 09, 2020
You don't need to beat yourself too much...the deed has been done already. I pray you to have enough money so you can always determine the genotype of the foetus before maturity.

May God ease our affairs.
Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by Celenwa1: 1:42pm On Jun 09, 2020
SORRY many are also in such mess
Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by Nephilim: 1:46pm On Jun 09, 2020
My babe ran without looking back when she discovered that our blood are not compatible.. Lolz.

Anyway you are not the first, you won't be the last, so manage it.
Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by tunde5292(m): 1:47pm On Jun 09, 2020
You just bear it in mind you will not have SS among your children. Just try not to have excess of children and always pray
Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by MolarT(m): 1:47pm On Jun 09, 2020
ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?
the earlier u realise u made a grave mistake the better.. I tell u this because I have 2 brothers who are sicklers and bro..its not funny at all. See eeh..its better I stay single than marry with the risk of getting a sickler.

1 Like

Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by FantasticJ: 1:47pm On Jun 09, 2020
bjprodint:
an not lying,it actually happened.i didnt believe it myself until she testified in church.God may actually give the op two kids only and they will both be AS.

I can testify I am Buhari's son too.

2 Likes

Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by ModestGal(f): 1:48pm On Jun 09, 2020
Pele
Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by MolarT(m): 1:48pm On Jun 09, 2020
SpicyMimi:
Marriage counseling is very important before thinking of spending your lifetime with anyone, as it is one of the first requirements.

I totally understand why she wanted the marriage to take place, I mean you already chose a date, the shame might be too much for her.

You both could have considered adoption, instead of thinking if divorce but too late for this advice now.

You have to spice up your love for her once again for the sake of your sweet unborn baby and pray he or she isn't a sickler and hopefully, she won't be and therefore put an end, and adopt his or her siblings.
The coñsequence of having a sickler child outways any shame
Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by Sailorsoldier1: 1:49pm On Jun 09, 2020
bjprodint:
an not lying,it actually happened.i didnt believe it myself until she testified in church.God may actually give the op two kids only and they will both be AS.
Story
Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by 12345baba(m): 1:49pm On Jun 09, 2020
Better enjoy ur wife
Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by MolarT(m): 1:49pm On Jun 09, 2020
tunde5292:
You just bear it in mind you will not have SS among your children. Just try not to have excess of children and always pray
do u know all his children can be SS
Re: Genotype: The Reason For My Unhappy Marriage. by josh0200(m): 1:50pm On Jun 09, 2020
ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?
Bros there is a God in heaven who does miracles you just need to reach Him, I have many SS turn to AA

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