₦airaland Forum

My experience: I discovered that we were AS while dating,because I know she will be my wife I prayed using relevant scriptures to back it up with my whole heart ,behold when she went for youth service, she ran another test it turn out to be AA,we have three healthy kids. So pray.

ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?

op re u marrying because of love or just to ve children? can't u just be married with no children & be happy in love with ur partner. Na was for African men o

SENSE PILL
nothing worse than an illiterate with a bag full of money and one who tosses and ebbs like the sea waves

bong4:
This is the part that would have ended every marriage plans immediately.
I pray that child isn't SS. Even at that, keep this statement close to heart.

Keep which statement close to heart..... those were statements made in the heat of the moment. The Op did not act well

Op since your wife is already pregnant, there is nothing you can do about that. I will advise that you pray and hope for a child who is not SS. If by chance the child comes SS free do not bother to birth any child again.

MolarT:
This is exactly why we still have sickler children. Do u know the genotype of those kids. Do u know what they are passing through. My brother dont say what u dont have complete jnfo about. They may be passing through hell.. even if na only one sickler. That one is enough to make the whole family unhappy especially the mother...

The kids are totally fine.

r

One cannot be saved in ignorance. It is impossible for a man to be saved in ignorance (D&C 131:6). A man is saved no faster than he gets knowledge, for if he does not get knowledge, he will be brought into emotional wahala. Knowledge saves a man.

You need to make yourself happy, marriage is not all about children, focus together on how both of you can build a future, like you having your own school etc. Love conquers a lot of things, love your wife, trust God because nothing is impossible with him. Be a man. I repeat marriage is not all about children. The mistake is done, a lesson for younger ones, ensure you include genotype into your dating questions. As for you,cheer up, you might be lucky to have your desired 3kids having AA, AS, AS genotypes. Embrace your wife and pray together about it.

You no get problem, both of you went into the marriage with the mindset of divorcing afterwards. To you people marriage is child's play, you can marry any how and divorce any how, continue

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What's all these nonsense comments I'm seeing about support, oga throw her out and get yourself a good gene for a wife or u think sickle cell is a minor case, u will feed your children all the rest of your life and still pay medical bills. Even AA are finding it difficult to survive or u think companies will employ a sickler to come and Bleep up things for them or someone who can't handle pressure. Your kids will be cursing you for bringing them into the world to suffer. The greatest gift to give ur unborn kids is good health, Education and the rest can sort themselves out.

The deed has been done. You dont have to divorce her cos she is going through alot too. You might be lucky the child is AS. But even if SS, then you both have alot of work to do. You certainly can't deny your child the love and affection needed because of genotype?.

OP is just a coward...


And to think he is a graduate


She could do better

Fountainofyouth:
I'm a Christian o, but pls go and sleep, the Bible that said prevention is better than cure isn't stupid, God cannot be mocked.


Modified;
I've been told the phrase "prevention is better than cure" isn't in the Bible, let's agree to disagree.

You still right though,cause theirs the statement "obedience is better than sacrifice" in the Bible...so in a way you still are right

1 Samuel 15 vs 22
Ephesians 2 vs 8-9

ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?

Pray

just pray this child is not a sickler cos you will forever regret it. Love is not enough for a marriage to stand common sense is of high importance and that child will never forgive both of you.
My neighbors son is a sickler Evey week blood transfusion and many nights at the hospital. i never pray for such even to my enemies.

aeion:
This isn't possible. You're either born AS or AA; you cannot switch your DNA.

don't mind those religious clowns. Even when a child get sick all the time they will rather claim he's spiritually affect than face the fact.

Did you miss where OP mentioned that he is a teacher? How much is take-home pay of a teacher in Nigeria and He is getting close to 40. I bet you have not experience any family with a sickle cell aneamia. To OP, you will only blame yourself if you ever have any of your kid to be a stickler.
I don't understand why many Nigerians willingly be making their lives miserable.

Kindly enlightened me the alternative to have sickle cell free children and the costs in Nigeria of today.

Ningen:
Brother, you seriously fúcked up.

You need to stop blaming your wife to ease the guilt inside you because you made a conscious decision to marry her and to conceive naturally.

Forgive yourselves and stop being miserable.



Not good. It's too early to quit and exit.
You don't need to divorce your wife to achieve your goal of having 2-3 more healthy children.

There are medical alternatives that will help you have sickle-cell free children. Just start saving.

Your unborn child has a 25% chance of turning out SS. She'll need both parents if this becomes a reality but I hope she doesn't have to suffer.

U don't hv to panic my brother. My best friend is AS & married AS as well. They have 3 children & none turned out to be SS. What u would've done is consult a doctor who can assist u & ur wife avoid having SS child. That was what my friend did. This is 21st century & medical sciences can do almost anything. I wish u best of luck.

ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?

You don't seem to be an intelligent person... Sorry to say.

So, both of you couldn't think that there are solutions out there to prevent you having ss sickler children and you call yourselves graduates. Smh

You don't know about pre-natal diagnosis
Pre implantation
IVF etc?

Don't let ignorance limit your happiness ..

Your first born MAY not be SS but not sure of others.

thorpido:
In this day and age,you didn't know your genotype and your wife too didn't know?
No one that is up to 25yrs now shouldn't know his or her genotype.It's almost unforgivable now.She also thought she was pregnant and you couldn't go to a lab and just run a test to confirm kwa?
That being said,why didn't you stick with calling off the marriage when you found out.It was the best option then.....shame or no shame!
As it stands now,you need to. decide on what you want but as a baby is on the way,you have to prepare for the birth first.If you are lucky the child turns out with a genotype that is not SS,then you weigh your further options.
It's actually a 100% probability for EACH child conceived.It is a 25% chance for every four births.

These tests are expensive and if it turns out the child is SS,the ONLY option is ABORTION.

like how much?

juman:
If you can pay for it, you will get healthy babies.
The medical experts know how to do it.

maybe u missed the part where he mentioned his profession. So now u are talking about manipulating the woman's body now to produce a good offspring and that sounds more loving than just letting her go?

MolarT:
. Ur statistics of 6 out of 8 is totally wrong... All the wives pregnancies can turn out to be SS. It is 25% of every pregnancy. Meaning each pregnancy MAY or MAY not fall into the 25%.

You are right

I should have use probably 6 out 8 rather than a sure 6 out of 8

If all pregnancy (at least return SS then their village people sef should get small part of the blame
We all deserve a little bit of luck and this couple need it the most

janvier27:
I thought there is now a test that can be done at a stage in pregnancy to determine the genotype of the foetus, and know what options are there before birth if it turns out to be SS.

Don't mind the illiterate poster...
Na only to do wedding or no do wedding dey hin head. Now he wants to put the blame on the woman alone.

I think the possibility of birthing SS comes when you have more than 2 kids. I've heard of SS couples that gave birth to only 2 kids to avoid having SS kids, so thread carefully you have entered the union already. Again, you share all the blame because even me at any slightest thing I don't fail to ask of genotype so it's your fault but I wish you good luck.

bjprodint:
an not lying,it actually happened.i didnt believe it myself until she testified in church.God may actually give the op two kids only and they will both be AS.

Wow, I had no idea church testimony is equivalent to scientific evidence.

First solution is God......
Then another solution is ivf....
All u need is save up....
Ur sperm can be checked to know whether it contain SS stuff before injecting to ur wife ...
U can browse to know more...
Don't quit dat gal baba.....
I advise u start loving her more...

mission08:
Just like people saying "heaven helps those who help themselves " is in the bible

Anyway, why bring sickle cell children to the world to suffer? The crises they experience is painful and draining to their families. Couples need to stay strong and be supportive in this kind of situation because believe me your resilience and commitment will be tested.

The journey has not started and you both are already emotionally apart. Your relationship is already too frail to stand what is ahead of you.

something tells me the op have no idea what a sickle cell crisis is. My mom was a nurse, see eh even this topic is already making me anoyed. Parents who know their genotype and still brought sickles should be jailed!! I have seen firsthand what sickle cell has done to families, it almost renders a generation useless unless u are that politician with lots of stolen money to throw around.