₦airaland Forum

Your first child will not be a sickler, don't quit your marriage. Even if you have a sickler amongst the 4kids you plan to have in future, it wouldn't be the end of the world. I have seen two AS couples who have only AS kids, no sickler, be hopeful for the best. You are an educated person yet did not take genotype issues seriously

janvier27:
I thought there is now a test that can be done at a stage in pregnancy to determine the genotype of the foetus, and know what options are there before birth if it turns out to be SS.

Even test that can determine SS in sperm before injecting to d woman

Fountainofyouth:
I'm a Christian o, but pls go and sleep, the Bible that said prevention is better than cure isn't stupid, God cannot be mocked.


Modified;
I've been told the phrase "prevention is better than cure" isn't in the Bible, let's agree to disagree.

It there when the Bible says "Obedience is better that sacrifice"

Ningen:
Brother, you seriously fúcked up.

You need to stop blaming your wife to ease the guilt inside you because you made a conscious decision to marry her and to conceive naturally.

Forgive yourselves and stop being miserable.



Not good. It's too early to quit and exit.
You don't need to divorce your wife to achieve your goal of having 2-3 more healthy children.

There are medical alternatives that will help you have sickle-cell free children. Just start saving.

Your unborn child has a 25% chance of turning out SS. She'll need both parents if this becomes a reality but I hope she doesn't have to suffer.

This your probability is not correct sir. You didnt tell him that it is 25% in each pregnancy. OP by now, you should have known what the Genotype of the feotus is... As an orphan please try to always be objective and truthful to yourself. That will help you avoid issues like this.

Brother your not financially competent yet to have sickler children, if this one is AS, please end child bearing, love your wife, your already married .
But you need to be a man, stand your ground, she blackmailed you into this marriage, I ended a rel. with my ex 2 months before my wedding due to some issues, but am married to another person today.
You made a grave mistake but I wish you the best of luck.

kentoski:
You saw them testify in church, did you follow her to a hospital? Chance of two AS giving birth to sickler is only 25%. Maybe they got lucky or God showed them mercy this way. Beware of lies!

The person you quoted might not understand the person's testimony. The woman might testify that she and her husband are AS and that gave birth to an AA
or
The first test could be a wrong diagnosis. I had a similar case. The first test showed AA and my husband AS. When i got pregnant. I was subjected to series of test which genotype was one. From there i got to know that I am AS.

how

Emekaossai:
Give your wife the care and love she needs now. Since you have taken the decision of getting married to her, learn to stand by it like a man you are.

My both parents are AS but non out of three of us is sickler.

so when they now bring out a sickler and he's 40 and still relies on his parents to feed him and pay his medical bills because he can't even stay a week without falling sick then your type will term him lazy and say he should go to church for deliverance that his case is spiritual. U dey mad I think!!

Why are only Nigerians into this AS and SS Bullshit?

It is not advisable to marry as you are both AS. You will have 1 or 2 kids with the sickle cell syndrome. Needless to say you might be lucky not to. Now read this part..My dad and mum are both AS..with 5kids. No SS amongst us..they even had 2 with AA. Thats just divine miracle.

Saintmary:
Savage baba
I hope your savageness has solved your quandary.
However you paint your story, you were careless with your own life and only you have to bear the consequences.

op I hope you see how condescending this comment sound, that's the same way the ppl telling you to be strong and continue with her and give birth to sicklers will all laugh at you and tell you it is your problem to bear. You have one life to live bro, you cannot continue to work forever oh, born children that will continue from where u stop

Yes there is but is very expensive

janvier27:
I thought there is now a test that can be done at a stage in pregnancy to determine the genotype of the foetus, and know what options are there before birth if it turns out to be SS.

This is a big lesson for those of us that are till single. The first thing you should ask him or her before falling in love is their genotype. Of you are AS you should be more careful than those of us who are AA. I've been around people going through crisis and it's not funny. Imagine the pain I feel seeing them in that condition and then compare to the pain they feel directly from time to time. At times the most powerful pain relievers don't even work on them Because they have had too much of it.
Don't let your child go through that pain you will hate yourself especially when you knew it from the start and out of stupid love went ahead.
If you both are AS and have decided to marry cos you love each other so much, make sure you also decide to adopt kids.
Their pain will tear the family apart if care is not taken.

Sometimes God works In a mysterious way. I had a friend who married a lady with internal heat. It was a situation like yours. Whether to call off or not. My guy told me that he will stand by the love he has for his wife to be. For better or for worse. It is medically impossible for a lady having internal heat to conceive. 3 months after marriage she took in and gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. Now that is what love can do!

dangoteinlaw:
don't mind those religious clowns. Even when a child get sick all the time they will rather claim he's spiritually affect than face the fact.

Thank you oo. I just didn't have the strength to argue.

ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?

Poverty and lack of advancement in Scientific knowledge is why genotypes are problematic in Nigeria. In saner climes, your wife's eggs would be harvested, tested. Eggs carrying genotype A will be fertilized by you sperm and the embryo inserted into your wife's Uterus. Nigeria has been failing her ppl on reproductive sciences which help couples stay afloat and manage their lives as fit. It's a pity

Fountainofyouth:
I'm a Christian o, but pls go and sleep, the Bible that said prevention is better than cure isn't stupid, God cannot be mocked.


Modified;
I've been told the phrase "prevention is better than cure" isn't in the Bible, let's agree to disagree.

it is "obeidence " and "sacrifice" either way no mind them, it is still d same point... whether cure or sacrifice

Unnerve:
Not doubting the validity of the saying, but what verse of the Bible says it?

Just curious is all

she meant obedience is better than sacrifice....either way they kind of mean the same thing

AS was a mutation in West Africa genome, to resist Malaria

Enculer:
Why are only Nigerians into this AS and SS Bullshit?

dangoteinlaw:
so when they now bring out a sickler and he's 40 and still relies on his parents to feed him and pay his medical bills because he can't even stay a week without falling sick then your type will term him lazy and say he should go to church for deliverance that his case is spiritual. U dey mad I think!!

Dont mind that one. They don't know what pain those people go through all their life. They can't even keep a job cos they spend most of their time in and out of hospital. Must eat what will give them enough blood and sometimes might just be woken up by pain in the middle of the night.

Tbh, you never really loved you wife.

If you y did, you would understand how she felt.

There are solutions to this genotype issue.
For example you can test your baby's genotyoe before being born.

There is also IVf.

There is also giving birth to one child.

You could also go childless and adopt.

When you say you love someone, I think ut means you are ready to sacrifice for the person.

ZeroShenanigan:
I'm above mid thirties, finished NYSC 2015 and i just secured a government teaching job after spending more than 3 years teaching in private schools. I met my wife earlier 2019, she was in her final year in school, we dated throughout the year and planned to get married after she graduated. She graduated and we make a move for our introduction, then we suggested to have the marriage before she go for her Nysc so as to enable her serve in our home state as I already have a rented apartment to start a small family.

As we were planning for the marriage, we were also planning her NYSC. She was required to have a medical certificate for the NYSC which of course required blood test including genotype. She came back with the result of her genotype as AS. That was the only time I remember to take genotype issue serious. Even if I have some little knowledge about it before, I decided to research more about it on the internet and also met some of my friends who are medically inclined. I came to realize my own genotype test is also important at that moment. I might have done the test in school but I didn't pay attention to it usefulness so I don't remember the result.

I don't usually fall sick except for normal malaria when there is mosquito bite, never had a drip line in my body for once, never slept in a hospital bed, I don't have any reason to take note of my genotype or blood test.

Her results then prompt me to have my own test done too which came out to be AS also. By these periods we have convinced our families to choose a date for the marriage so that we can have the wedding before her NYSC. Marriage is to hold in a week time when I got my own genotype result.
From my further findings about AS and AS couple, I discovered how risky it is for their offsprings. I tried to explain to her but she turned a deaf ear, she alleged me of trying to break her heart at that critical period. She reported to her sisters they tried to blame me but I make them all realized it's not my fault because throughout my visitation and introduction to their family nobody has ever ask us about genotype. I am an orphan, I don't have any closer family to guide me except for my sisters who can't wait for me to get married because of my age, they also had never thought of it as well.

My wife sisters gave us some examples of older couples who were both AS with only one or no sickler among their children. My wife also made a threat of killing herself or she kill me if the marriage didn't hold. She even suggested we proceed with the marriage and break up after few weeks of marriage because of the shame that may follow if we stop the marriage or maybe she was desperate because of the marriage certificate, I don't know. I maintained my stand of backing off the marriage but she reported to my sisters also. Her sisters and my sisters later tried to encourage us to go ahead with prayers since we have chosen the date. We were advised not to disclose our genotype result to anyone again because people will discourage us.

Even though I was skeptical about the marriage, it later commenced with less spending because the Nikkah was held in a mosque and a tent for refreshments.
After the marriage we tried to talk about it, and she told me, she was afraid, may be she was pregnant before the marriage that's why she insisted on going ahead with the marriage. She also revealed to me that she was not happy with the decision as well, means she also know the implications but she have to avoid the shame of stopping the marriage after inviting guests to the occasion.

During these period genotype before the marriage, my love for her reduced drastically because of her desperation and her refusal to understand the risk we are about to take. I tried to avoid pregnancy from our first month of marriage but I later gave up and she conceived immediately. Now she is closer to her delivery. We hardly talk or play together inside. We only discuss about feeding, maternity and things to get for the coming baby.
I discovered we quarrel over little things that can be over looked by lovers. I'm not happy in the marriage, I spend most of time watching TV or stay outside all day because of unresolved issues.

I'm planning to arrange for a divorce after she delivered the baby because this is my first baby and I would love to have 2 or 3 kids more. I can't take the risk of allowing any of my children to be a sickler.
Advise is needed if my plan for divorce is a good one and do I stand a chance of loosing anything?

brother been hash to your beloved wife isn't fair, it's a mistake you both made by not considered genotype before organise your marriage then, but don't make her feel guilty for everything. Love her as your wife. There's 57.8 percent of having your first child AA.


and I can assure you that child she is carrying is AA

dangoteinlaw:
op I hope you see how condescending this comment sound, that's the same way the ppl telling you to be strong and continue with her and give birth to sicklers will all laugh at you and tell you it is your problem to bear. You have one life to live bro, you cannot continue to work forever oh, born children that will continue from where u stop

When you're seeking for advice, you don't insult people trying to help out in the little way they can especially on a forum known to be rife with fake stories.
At the end of the day, each individual will have to face the consequences of their choices.

bjprodint:
Be prayerful,GOD changed my course mate's genotype from AS to AA.Now they have two healthy kids even expecting the third ine.her husband is AS.there is nothing GOD cannot do.

PLEASE PEOPLE DON'T BE FOOLED BY THIS COMMENT.

janvier27:
I thought there is now a test that can be done at a stage in pregnancy to determine the genotype of the foetus, and know what options are there before birth if it turns out to be SS.

it costs like 300k

You saw the problem
But refuse to back off
Probably you don't know what you just got into
I hate depending on luck especially when it comes to human lives....

I still remember my friend who died in ss3
His parent has 3kids he was the 3rd
His elder ones were AS both he unfortunately was SS
He was a regular face in the hospital
And at times they wake us up with shout in the night when he gets attack....
One morning we fell it was the usual attack call for help but my friend was dead
I felt really sorry for the mom
She was rolling on the ground , crying and shouting
See don't allow anyone push u into making this mistake....
Me I'm AA I can go as low as marrying AS....but the SS is a no no for me

ArcFresky:
Tbh, you never really loved you wife.

If you y did, you would understand how she felt.

There are solutions to this genotype issue.
For example you can test your baby's genotyoe before being born.

There is also IVf.

There is also giving birth to one child.

You could also go childless and adopt.

When you say you love someone, I think ut means you are ready to sacrifice for the person.

saying this to a civil service teacher. Lol

uglodoh:
The person you quoted might not understand the person's testimony. The woman might testify that she and her husband are AS and that gave birth to an AA
or
The first test could be a wrong diagnosis. I had a similar case. The first test showed AA and my husband AS. When i got pregnant. I was subjected to series of test which genotype was one. From there i got to know that I am AS.

Eiyaa, how are you managing? Things out of our control, but God got us shaa.

For the poster, it may be true she misheard, or maybe she did hear right...cos the trend of people giving half-true or even false testimonies in churches is becoming rampant and worrisome.

MISSCONGENIALITY:
Dont mind that one. They don't know what pain those people go through all their life. They can't even keep a job cos they spend most of their time in and out of hospital. Must eat what will give them enough blood and sometimes might just be woken up by pain in the middle of the night.

leave them to keep wallowing in their world of ignorance. Way back I had a guy who was SS well luckily his dad was rich but even upon the wealth. Dude is just as useless coz he's always indoors if he's not in the hospital this guy was older than me but physically u will think I'm even his dad, no one dare fight him coz u will end up commuting murder, how small he looks on the flour his eyes so yellow. Abeg sicklers no be wetin I wish anyone pikin. Stay safe